fell three times in two weeks: <BR>1. Venice--on a dock getting off of a gondola. <BR> <BR>2. Rome--Trevi Fountain...flat on my back <BR> <BR>3. Salzburg-- Sound of music bus tour, driver slammed on brakes as i bought a beverage and I fell flat against the window and onto the tour guide. <BR> <BR>No injuries what so ever, and plan to go back in a few months.

Yikes, those are some embarrassing moments...but what would a vacation be if you didn't have those funny stories to tell everyone about? I can think of several moments of miscommunication and embarrassment from my various travels. But I'll keep it simple and just tell you my favorite one. We were sitting at a little cafe in Rome trying to figure out our itinerary for the day. My aunt, who is a nun, walked around to a few tables near us and tried to ask directions to some place. Nobody understood her, so we didn't get the information that we needed. Then we noticed that everyone in the cafe seemed to be giving us weird looks. Eventually, we realized that everyone thought my aunt, who was dressed in her nun's habit, was begging for money. Oops!

Great stories. On one of our early trips, we stayed in a B&B, somewhere in the south of France. We spoke very little French and the owners spoke less English. When we check in we had planned to stay just one night, however, it was so pleasant we stayed the next night, and then the next night. We finally felt like relatives (and fish) when we returned from a day trip, and were greeted by the owners, who, with the help of locals from the village and a phrase book, asked us "when are you going to leave". We took it personally, and then one of the locals informed us they needed to know when we would be leaving so they could accept other reservations. <BR> <BR>Not related to Europe, my daughter, when she was 12 asked for a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple. That was funny.

This didn't happen in Europe but it was one of my most embarrassing moments. I was on a ferry and had to use the toilet facilities. I was dog-tired and somehow didn't pay close attention to the little human symbol on the door to see it was of a man not a woman. I blindly barged in to an empty washroom and walked straight into a stall without even noticing the urinals. I closed the door and moments later I heard voices. Men's voices. I wondered why they were in my washroom. It started to dawn on me that maybe I was in theirs. Now what? I couldn't very well just walk out. On the other hand, how long could I stay in the stall before they became suspicious or maybe started asking if I was alright? After the longest time the room became quiet, so I seized the opportunity to make my escape. Upon opening the stall door I was surprised to see a man standing at the mirror. He was even more surprised - he spun around and looked at me with eyes as wide as saucers. I tried to dash out the door but he beat me to it and, to make matters worse, he started yelling loudly in Punjabi to his friends. With great animation he apparently explained to them (and many of the passengers) what had happened all the while flailing his arms around and pointing, pointing, pointing at me as I bolted away hoping to never see him again. <BR>

Read through these, the one about having to have the fruit weighed and priced reminded me of an incident in Spain. We really wanted to buy some vegetables for our evening meal at the camp ground supermarket. We went in and started picking up what we required and bagging it. The cashier came running over, and irritatedly grabbed the vegetables back of us, and put them back on the shelf. Confused we tried to find out what we must do. She couldn't talk English, I couldn't talk Spanish, and didn't have our phrase book on us. Finally another customer told us that we were suppose to queue, and then ask for the vegetables, and the cashier would get them for us! Another incident when trying to buy some meat for a barbecue in the same supermarket. All the meat was behind the butchery counter. Making all the appropriate animal noises to the hilarity of the other customers. After about 5 minutes the butcher took pity on us and spoke to us in perfect english! I think he just enjoyed having a good laugh. It was a wonderful town though - a Spanish resort town in which we were the only non Spanish. Everyone was so friendly and so willing to help. <BR>

One time I was in Dublin trying to hail a cab. It wasn't like here in DC where every third car is a cab and you get one immediately. After looking around after no luck spotting a cab I saw a line of cars on the side of the road in what appeare to be a taxi stand. I hopped in a car and gave my destination and the woman looked back and said "Im sorry, but this is a driving lesson". I'd mistakenly hopped in a drivers ed car with a lesson in progress thinking the sign on top was for a taxi!

Thought I'd add my few cents worth - I can remember countless embarrassing moments and some just funny. Relating to the tales of language problems/situations, I recollect one that happened in 1991. My folks and I went to Latvia - the first time I had been there (I was born in Germany) and the first time my folks had been there since they left during the war. I must add here that we all speak Latvian fluently, it being the language we use exclusively at home. The first day we were there, we stopped in a restaurant for lunch. When the waiter brought our meal, my mother, who prides herself on being veeery proper and polite, said in her very best English "Thank You". I laughed uncontrollably until I could explain to my mom that this was the only country in the world where she could speak Latvian and be understood! She hadn't even grasped that she had spoken English instead of her native tongue. <BR> <BR>And another dates way back to one of my very first trips to Europe - back in 1969. A friend and I went to Portugal which was not frequented by many tourists at that time. And it certainly was a novelty for them to see two 21 year old women driving alone through the countryside. Not many Portuguese spoke English and I attempted to converse (?) with them using a slushy form of Spanish. We stopped at a gas station, and I picked the cheapest gasoline out of the 3 tanks available. The attendant kept trying to take the hose from me indicating that I couldn't use that particular gasoline in the car. I decided that he didn't want us to use the cheapest - because we were American tourists and this was a classic rip-off. We argued, he in Portuguese and I in English and slushy-Spanish - until I realized that the hose I was holding was for the diesel !! Not a rip-off at all, just dumb tourists!!!

Time to go back to the top!!!

Two embarrassing incidents with "propah English people." <BR>First: My mother was visiting us in London, when we were living in the 70s, and I wanted to take her for a real English tea at Fortnum and Mason. We were sitting at a tiny table, barely big enough to hold our cuppas and sandwich nibbles, when the hostess comes by with two more people, and sits them at our "table." They were an elderly couple, and veddy, veddy English. Our knees may have been touching, but they acted as if we weren't there, averting their eyes and concentrating on their tea cups. I had told my mother about English reserve, but this was ridiculous. The awkward silence at this tiny table went on for 15 minutes or so. It was giggling time to begin with, but when the man fell asleep, and his head wound up in the sandwiches, my mother and I couldn't stifle any more. The wife uttered her only words and went back to her tea. "He's a bit tired, I suppose." <BR>Second incident. Flying back from London with a couple of friends, we were upgraded to first class. I was placed next to the window, and my friends were across the aisle. The tweedy woman next to me on the aisle (think Bouquet--not "Bucket" you "Keeping Up Appearances" fans) was aghast at our conversation and the fact that we kept talking over her. She glared and hurrumphed, but I liked my window seat, and figured we would stop talking after a bit. When I went to the lav, she practically tripped me, and turned away in disgust. Imagine my surprise when a few minutes later I feel a hand gripping my thigh! Seems we had hit some turbulance and she was petrified. She held on all the way through it, and I did my best to sooth her nerves. After that, she was more pleasant!

I was around 18 and in Austria. I said goodbye to my Austrian penpal and got on the local train with my girlfriend. <BR> <BR>All the seats facing forward were occupied. In the front of the train were seats facing backward so I sat there. So picture me facing all these Austrians. <BR> <BR>Well, I was chewing gum as Americans are wont to do. A little lady in the front of the section, just shook her head and mimicked my chewing. It was obvious that she was disgusted with how I was chewing my gum. <BR> <BR>To this day, I no longer chew gum. I remember too clearly how embarrassed I felt. <BR> <BR>Deb <BR> <BR>

On our honeymoon in London, we were going into the Underground and the elevator doors were closing so, as we would do here in the US, my husband gallantly put the umbrella in the way of the doors so they would bounce back open and we wouldn't have to wait...The doors closed regardless! I still laugh thinking of him trying to pull the umbrella out of the jammed elevator as the alarm was going off.

I had just arrived in Sao Paulo, Brazil after a 9 hour flight. I made it through the long customs line and being exhausted, just stuck my passport in my front jeans pocket instead of being smart and putting it in a safe place. As I walked from customs to baggage claim, I saw my suitcase and grabbed it quickly. I then went to meet my co-workers and noticed that my passport was missing. I looked all through my bags (knowing it wasn't there) and began to panic. I stopped an airport employee and asked in my broken portuguese if she spoke english. She said yes and I told her that my passport was missing. She looked around and pointed and said "is that it"? I looked over and it was lying face up, going round and round on the luggage carousel. Talk about relieved. I ran over as fast as I could, terrified that someone else would grab it. I was extremely lucky, and everytime I travel with my passport I always keep it in a safe place.

Found this while searching "Ischia" brought it to top to read at leisure later, and to see where Ischia fits in! <BR>

This happened on a flight back to the US from Frankfurt. A Lufthansa airbus, completely packed. I was absolutely GREEN with need for use of the lavatory. The problem: I was seated in the middle seat. The man on the aisle seat was too big for the chair & there was no way to politely sneak past him. He had been partaking of the cocktails & by now his head was back against the headrest with his mouth wide open, the snores, the drool, etc.... <BR> <BR>After politely trying to get his attention quite a few times & now in desperation for the toilet, I just began trying to climb over him. We hit turbulence & I ended up in his lap. He woke up & looked at me, confused. VERY embarassing. He was German & didn't speak English. I don't speak German... I could NOT get past this man. The more I tried to climb over his huge legs the worse it got. It was like some insane dance of uncoordination. Finally I got back to my seat in the middle & he stood and let me out. Thank God. <BR> <BR>I stumbled to the row of lavatories & began trying to open a door. This was my first time ever using a lavatory on a plane & the door wouldn't open. I thought maybe they just latched very securely & started pulling on it. Someone started banging on the door from the inside with an open palm!!! Horrors! I went to the next one -- same thing. In my sheer need I hadn't paid attention to the "occupied" (or German equivalent) button. They were ALL occupied. By now I'd seriously irritated about 4 people in these lavs & I did NOT want to be there when they came out. So I reluctantly slunk back to my seat, to crawl over the man & sit back in my middle seat. <BR> <BR>A few minutes later I saw people starting to come out from the area where the lavatories were located. Someone got a flight attendant & they were waving their arms around, talking in German, looking into the sea of seated passengers. I just sank down into my middle seat & waited until things died down. Mortification. Eventually I got to use the lavatory.

Aztec, "No milk today..." are lyrics from a song by the pop group Hermin's Hermits. It is entirely appropriate and not "high brow" for the story about two up and two down.

topping this

we can't be finished yet with this topic.

While in Paris my husband and I left the Rodin Museum and were looking for Napoleon's tomb. We stopped two gendarmes and asked. Not speaking french, we pronounced "invalades" the was Americans would. They both professed to speak English but had no idea where we wanted to go. Finally we said "Napoleon, Napoleon" and they directed us. When we returned to the states, my frend friend told us the pronunciation was - (hold your nose as you say it) ohn-vah-leed. I'll know the next time.

Hmm... in 1973 I was on a trip to the beach on Bornholm Denmark, with a young man I adored. A fellow 4-H'r saw me changing on the beach, it wasn't done in the US. When I changed, my friend from the US started laughing, pointing and YELLING "She's Naked!" Oh well, I later saw naked folks and figured it was ok, but at that moment it was embarrasing! I was 17 for heavans sake! Boy if I had a 17 year old body, knowing what I know now... things would be different. :)

This is hilarious! I haven't read all the messages yet, but the ones I have bring back many memories. Thank you Neal for starting it. <BR> <BR>First one, strangely, is near Poggibonzi (Neal - were you in the CO-OP??? (did not find this town the very friendliest in Italy!)). We, my hubbie and I, were staying close by, about 15 years ago, (we were in our early 20s, drove a BIG RENAULT, which we picked up in Paris (yes, that made us VERY popular with the locals). We got lost every day (OK, I was navigating, but I think there was a problem with the maps!!). I had studied Lingaphone for months before I left. The problem is that I can mimic ANY accent (but have a REAL problem with the words!). So, finally, one day when we were hopelessly lost, I convinced my hubbie to ask a local for direction (to the CO-OP in Poggibonzi). I posed the question so well, with such a wonderful, authentic accent, he obviously assumed I was fluent in Italian. There followed a long diatribe, none of which I could understand, with copious arm waving and pointing. I, of course, was unwilling to admit I could not understand a word and simply told my husband to turn left at the next intersection ..... about two hours later, we ended up somewhere in the hills of Tuscany in the middle of a chicken run. <BR> <BR>Did not happen to me, but a friend. We were in Paris (college trip) in the early 80s. One of my friends went down to the loo, which was a sealed room that looked like a shower with just a hole in the floor. He does his business and pushes a button on the wall - waiting was not a clever thing to do. The room flooded and my poor friend came back to the table drenched. <BR> <BR>Another friend in Cairo train Station mistook the "toilet flush" with the "Bidet" button and ended up soaked from head to foot. <BR> <BR>These remembrances are the ones that make you want to go back - repeat them at parties and everyone has one to share. <BR> <BR>I am sure that people from other cultures find North America equally confusing .. well, I did because I am originally from Europe and found some NA "language" bizarre – Example: a bathroom is where you have a bath not where you relieve yourself (that’s called a Toilet); and ... well, I have lots more examples, some of which readers would consider rude - but I now know not to ask for a “rubber” when I really want an eraser! <BR> <BR>Years ago, a friend, recently over from Scotland, had an early morning interview. The day before, she asked the mailman to “Knock her up in the morning” . Those of us from the British Isles know this means that she wanted him to wake her up … He thought it was his lucky day! <BR>