Letter from the Belgian Embassy
 

Letter just received from Norbert Faarhtbender, PA to the Belgium Ambassador to the Court of St James.

Dear Mr Burgler,

Thank you for your recent comments on Belgium and Belgian driving customs. I can perhaps help you with your miss-understandings by responding to your points one by one:

1) Infrastructure projects in Belgium are indeed awe inspiring as I think you are trying to say. The Brussels bypass is called the “Ring” in anticipation of it being finished in the future, when it will eventually start moving.

2) As a world leader in technology all Belgian cars are fitted with indicators, it is not reasonable to expect Belgians to remember to use them at junctions when they are so busy talking on their phones, responding to emails, filling their pipes, adjusting their hats, varnishing their nails etc. while having to maintaining the usual 120kph.

3) The humour of the Belgians is world famous. When a Belgian driver cuts in front of you at 120kph from the outside lane to exit down a ramp at the last possible moment, this is an ironic comment on life in general, not an attempt to kill you and the 8 other cars that have to slam on their brakes.

4) Roundabouts, were of course invented, by a great Belgian (Franck Blaarckmore in Swindoorn), in celebration of this, indication and lane discipline are given free reign as pure joie-de-vivre or zin-in-het-leven in the Belgian mind. As mere foreign users of a roundabout you cannot be expected to understand what is happening.

5) Belgium leads the world in its environmental policies. For many years the Belgian authorities have been concerned by the lack of plant growth at Belgian motorway service stations. To resolve this the recent addition of a 50cents charge to visit the “little boy's room” is ensuring that human waste is now sprayed throughout the wooded area around the “aire”. I hope this greening of the environment is appreciated by all visitors to our proud country.

6) I'm sorry that you found the Belgian Space Center disappointing. I can assure you that the well loved facility accurately represents the contribution of the Belgian people to our civilization's exploration of space.

Cordialement, tot ziens,

Faarhtbender

TeeHee

No offense to WhatHello (I am sure he is a driver par excellence) but Belgian drivers are some of the worst I have seen.

Actually, Brussels drivers would be more accurate.

:). He forgot the added fun of the potholes deep enough to swim in, the road edges sharp enough to cut tyres and the parking spaces on the central reservations on Belgian Motorways.

Speed bumps are not needed on many Belgian roads - the surface is an effective speed deterrent for foreigners, though not for Belgians. Mind you the roads in Luxembourg were even worse (if that is possible).
I have lost count of the number of Belgian vehicles I have seen parked on the armco of the central reservation.

:-) I hope "What" takes it the right way too, see (3)

I can't say that this is totally incorrect, unfortunately.

What is dead - long life to Woin. I loved it.

According to my wife I am a bad driver. Accoring to my in law who was with me yesterday, I swear even more than her husband when driving.

According to me, the problem lies with the others. Were I alone, there would be no problem. I suppose it puts me in the same category as 99% of the Belgian drivers.

as for 5) I was actually going last week towards the woods and met two nice gentlemen doing the same, so I think it is an attempt to get us socializing too.

Keep posting such good stuff Bilbo !

Mvg.

Neither can I, unfortunately.

What happened to What?

Belgium - the only place I have pulled over to consider why all the other drivers were trying to kill us. What had we ever done to them?

Have you ever driven in Cairo?

nytraveler, I took a video of our drive (with a local driver) through Cairo when we visited in the spring, because I knew no one would believe my description alone of the driving!

'What happened to What?'

I like changing names. For regulars, you'll spot me easily enough, for others, it makes a break.

I added an email adress on my profile. Feel free to email me. I'll look into it once upon a time and can pick up from there, it is a 'dead' address.

What is really mystifying about Continental Europe in the era of the Schengen agreement is that around almost every Schengen border it's now impossible to tell which country you're in at a given moment.

That's now true even on the Italy-Swiss borders - once the defining barrier between comfortable driving and lethal insanity.

But not around borders between Belgium and its neighbours. You know you've crossed into Belgium by the staggering collapse in the quality of the road surface, the unattended potholes, the traffic jams - and the spectacular incompetence of the local drivers.

Not just around the borders with Holland or Germany. It's true when you're driving in from Luxembourg too.

At least we don't drive on the left side.

Belgian drivers often get speeding tickets in France and the Netherlands - they have less chance of getting caught in Belgium. Just in July and August last year, 125.000 tickets for Belgian drivers on the French motorways.

I'd be happy with more checks on Belgian roads. Traffic deaths are far too high. More than twice those of the Netherlands or the UK, compared to population size.

Ah, Cairo! Our local guide had lived and studied in Germany for ten years or so. When he returned to Egypt, his brother picked him up at Cairo Airport. Suddenly his brother stopped the car, opened the hood and shook his head.

"It's defect" he said "we cannot continue". "What part?" asked our guide. His Brother replied: "the horn".

Tulips, this has nothing to do with population size. Belgium is a transit country. Some days, when I'm driving on the Antwerp Ring and look around, I see more Dutch licence plates than Belgian!

>>At least we don't drive on the left side.<<

You mean most of the time.

are Belgian and Sicilian drivers related? from your description, bilbo, they are close relatives.

Though I have driven in Belgium, albeit quite a while ago, and remember nothing similar to this. in fact, I barely remember it at all whereas Sicilian driving will be etched on my memory forever.

perhaps all the Sicilians who can have taken advantage of Schengen and moved to Brussels.