Every private club that we have belonged to had dress codes..men had to wear jackets after a certain hour. There must still be places that have a rack of jackets for those men arriving without one. I remember a time when the teenage son of a friend of ours came with their parents to join us at out club and he at first rebelled at the idean that he MUST put a jacket on...my husband quietly told him to wear the jacket or wait for his parents outside!! He wore the jacket!!

The idea that because you THINK that you are doing the proprietor a favor my dining at his restaurant and theerefore, think that you have the right to decide what to wear is nonsense!! Believe me, the proprietor would rather that you went elsewhere!! If the food, the surroundings and the staff are quality, they deserve the same appreciative quality of people to dine there!! Improper dressing at restaurants is something that I have always found disgusting.............

I always take a jacket. Then if the local men are wearing jackets to dinner or one is required I'm ready. But having said that, since we love to travel in the fall and it is cool I wear a jacket most of the time to dinner.

And on a related topic . . .

Inspired by the hairy armpits mention - I once had lunch at a very casuale cafe on the French Riviera. the waitresses were topless (it was on a topless beach) and there is really nothing weirder than watching some dame's boobies bobbing along - almost in your lunch.

I have to say that I found it quite disgusting (the proximity of the two - not the boobies in themsleves) although the beau seemed to enjoy it. (He was soon traded in for a more sophisticated model.)

Hey Patrick,

OH, YUCK.

I do agree that in the Summer, if there is no AC, a gentleman could be excused for removing his jacket at dinner if he is obviously suffering from heat prostration

It's kind of funny to read this. We lived in North Carolina about 20 years ago and were invited to a "pig picking" which is basically a barbecue. The schedule was such that I had to pick up my husband from work so he went in a suit and tie. I guess you could say he was overdressed, but we had a great time and thoroughly enjoyed the food. There were no comments about his suit.

We've been to a few Rotary picnics with him in a suit and tie and he seemed to enjoy those too. No one has ever commented in a negative manner about it.

When we're traveling, he usually wears a sport coat and occasionally a tie. None of this seems to cramp either his or my style. We both have a great time and have never been thrown out of a restaurant for being overdressed.

If men are uncomfortable wearing a coat of some sort, perhaps they should practice at home so it feels comfortable. They might discover their wife treats them better!!((@))

It's interesting to see the different opinions on this thread. But I really don't understand flanneruk's assertion that dress codes for dining are "American derived". My impression has always been that people are far less likely to dress formally in U.S. restaurants than in Europe.

But I'm from Boston, which is full of college students, and is a very casual town. There are probably only a handful of restaurants here that require a jacket and tie.

- Larry

Sweetie darling, don't go blaming the Yanks. I just returned from Prague, where most of the slovenly dressed diners were Germans, Brits, and Japanese.

Brits on holiday are a disgrace, throwing up their tucker in the streets after too many pints. I guess Flanneruk doesn't want to mess up his jacket :)

When my son was in high school, he had a part time job working in a record store. He unfailingly left for work wearing worn flair jeans (remember? all the range in the early 80's) and a t-shirt with a heavy-metal monogram (always black!) I encouraged him to give more thought to his dress and suggested it would show his customers more respect if he dressed just a bit more formally. To no avail, and in truth, he likely fit in just fine in the atmosphere of a record store.

In any event, one Christmas holiday when he was home from college, imagine my surprise when he appeared at the Christmas dinner table wearing a sportcoat, crisp white shirt and a tie. I felt honored at the respect he showed for the event. I'd never have coached him to appear at the Chrismas table formally dressed but was so touched when he did it on his own.

After dinner, he took off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, put on an apron, and shooed all the females out of the kitchen while he and his male cousin attached the dishes.

It's about respect and consideration for other people. Some restaurants make an effort to make dinner an "event," a time for celebration and a sense of formality. Who are we to bogart out way in, defiant, and demand that things be done our way?

This amuses me because when I was young, it was considered very sloppy for a man to be seen in his shirt-sleeves. My father always wore a jacket even in the house. In those days, all men wore a hat outside. The working classes wore flat caps, the lower middle classes wore trilbies (fedoras) and the upper middles wore bowlers.

To say that you dine at a restaurant simply for a meal, is arrant nonsense. If a meal were all you wanted, why on earth would you dine out at all? As someone said, eat your KFC standing over the sink. People who go to the trouble and expense of going out to dine, do so because they want ambience plus service plus company plus....
Part of that ambience/atmosphere/call it what you will, is the way other diners around you look, dress and behave. And yes, if I run a restaurant (which I don't) I most certainly would reserve the right to set standards. Who needs louts in T-Shirts and trainers? They'd be the same louts who are noisy, bring in screaming babies, make crass remarks to the waitress, and so on. Keep refusing to adhere to dress codes, I say, that way I'll never find you slurping and drooling in a restaurant near me.

People should put on something smart and appropriate when going to a restaurant; that does not necessarily mean a jacket and tie. A smart shirt looks better than a cheap jacket.
I've been to restaurants in country house hotels in the UK where a jacket was mandatory, but the food very average, and to a three michelin star restaurant in France where many men did not wear jackets, but the food was outstanding.

When did wearing a jacket, a clean shirt and a tie become "formal"?

Is my dinner jacket out of fashion?

What about my plaid cumberbund?

The post from Sylvia touched a chord of memory. My father, too, wore a hat even when driving (should say ESPECIALLY when driving) and a tie even on Saturdays.

When I got my first collarless shirt --a momentary fad on the 70s, revived again later -- he was horrified.

Are you going outside without a COLLAR! he said. You look like the day labourers who lined up outside the factory gates for work, when I was on my way to school, in the 30s.

BTW: Surely the reliable rule for politeness and psychic comfort in any restaurant is Dress To Fit In -- which can mean jacket, no jacket or topless, as per the poster who lunched on a topless beach.

Ira, I'm sure you look great in a jacket, or even a plaid cumberbund! My husbands wears suits every day to work, so likes to wear something else when not working. I wear mostly jeans, so I too want to wear something else when going out; so I dress up, he dresses down.

Someone above mentioned "respect".
My kind of gentleman respects himself and well...respects me. Yes to a jacket. This same fellow knows to walk on the outside of the sidewalk and how to use his knife and fork, as well.
I LIKE the look of a dark linen jacket even with nice jeans and a tee-shirt... I LIKE the look when they sling it over their shoulder as they walk... it shows me they have STYLE.
Look, I don't believe its just a question of comfort,I have to wear a bra! They can at least wear a jacket to dinner, when its not Burger King or some such ...

This is an interesting thread. Several months ago, I was attacked (verbally) by a couple of posters after I mentioned that we had had dinner at Prime in Las Vegas, where they had a dress code, and two female diners were wearing jeans (albeit very chic, but jeans nonetheless). A couple of men did NOT wear jackets and to be honest, they looked very out of place. So apparently, even though a restaurant posts a dress code, how many actually enforce it?

ira: &quot;<i>Gentlemen wear jackets when dining in public.</i>&quot;

Therefore ladies wear dresses when dining in public?


jdraper: <i>&quot;I do agree with Ira. I met hubby when he was wearing a nice jacket and dressed appropriatly. Twenty-six years later I am glad he put on that jacket or I wouldn't have given him the time of day. What is wrong with dressing appropriatly? If you don't want to wear a jacket then go to McDonalds but you had better expect to be served like you are at McDonalds.</i>&quot;

So you would have passed over the guy who was, apparently, wonderful enough in other respects to become your husband, simply because he was not wearing a nice jacket? How amazing.

And thanks for the laugh. &quot;<i>If you don't want to wear a jacket then go to McDonalds</i>&quot; has got to be one of the most hilarious snobby lines I've ever read on Fodors!


<i>I have never eaten a worthwhile meal at a restaurant with a dress code.</i>

Same here, flanneruk. I've had plenty of great meals in Europe at restaurants that don't have dress codes.


<i>what's the problem with wearing a jacket at dinner in a restsaurant? Is it THAT uncomfortable?</i>

Reasonable question, Underhill. So why not, as I alluded to with Ira above, post a similar question to the ladies out there: what's the problem with wearing a dress at dinner in a restaurant? Is it THAT uncomfortable?

capo-I do! I do!! :D

As a man who enjoys a good meal out in Europe, I must say that I have no issues with wearing a suit and tie, if appropriate. There are many reasons a gentleman should wear a suit, to honour his spouse (as in my case), to show a degree of respect for the restaurant and other patrons, to maintain the tradition that a gentleman should appear, behave and dress like a gentleman, to stay warm in the odd chilly restaurant and always to be in a position to loan it to my beautiful wife if she is feeling chilly, and, because I would feel like a right proper idiot wearing jeans and a golf shirt when all the other men are wearing suits.

I wear a nice dress when we dine out.

My question isn't really about dress codes: it's about why some guys find wearing a jacket at a restaurant such a big deal. It's not as though jackets of all sorts aren't worn a lot of the time. Maybe it's becauses jackets are associated with the dreaded shirt and tie combination?