greg

I want to hear from those with in depth observations of this subject. Too often it turns into battle of one time encounters without providing background in explaining discrepancies in both directions. <BR> <BR>Historical angle: My parents and in laws share "rude" view of this subject. Their experiences are from just after the de Gaulle years and they are not about to change their prospect on this, ...sad. Few postings I have read in this forum from those who were fortunate have to have been to France after the WW II to the present seem to point to changing attitude over this period. Thus, one source of differing opinion may be from which time period one is referring to. <BR> <BR>Probability of encountering SOBs: I do not believe any country escapes from existence of these folks. Some visitors can have unfortunate honor of hitting a jackpot in this category. <BR> <BR>Our attitude: This is something we can control. Among my friends, those who tried to find America in France inevitably came back "disappointed". Those I know who got "bad services" at restaurants, except in cases of encountering real SOBs, have failed to grasp that serving is a respected profession and they expect to be treated as such. <BR> <BR>My experience in France, like many others here, has been largely positive with one encounter with a SOB. Then again, I have researched this subject and I did not try to find America in France.

dafree

I was curious as to what I would find in Paris. I curious as to how I would be treated as an American in Paris that only knew a few French words (much less phrases). I know now that I would have enjoyed Paris much more if I could have spoken French. Yet, I still thought that Paris was beautiful, and the people friendly. After my experience I think understand why Americans think the French to be rude. Not knowing French makes the experience more stressful - I've never been embarressed as much as I was there, and I've never Felt more like an idiot in my life, but was it the Parisians fault? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It was my fault for not knowing enough French. I truly beleive that Americans think that the French should speak English to them upon command. As an American I can see how isolated we are here in the states, not only geographically, but also in our way of thinking. We should be ashamed for not making profiency in other lanquages in school mandatory. The isolation in which we live has given birth to wide spread ignorance of the rest of the world. <BR> My suggestion to any American going to Paris or France- at least learn French phrases that are more commonly used, and you must be confident enough to speak French to someone who speaks French as there primary language. Thats very important. Always begin your greetings and sentences in French, then tell them in French that you do not understand French and ask if they speak English. <BR> I just got back from Paris a week ago. I loved it, and would go back tomorrow if given the chance. Even with my lack of Depth of the French language, I still enjoyed Paris and its citizens. I would say I didn't run into any rude people, just some that were somewhat disgusted with me not knowing French, and I can understand that. I attempted to learn some French before going, what I did learn helped, but not enough. Next time I will be prepared.

susan

Our experiences with the French were that they were great! They weren't rude, smiled at us (even tho I'd read they think Americans smile too much), & were accepting of my attempts to speak French. <BR> My husband is a serious street photographer & was amazed to find so many of the French (regardless of walk of life) quite willing to cooperate in posing for a total stranger. <BR>

elaine

There are so many contributing factors to stereotypes, factors in the <BR>stereotypers and also in the sterotypees <BR>(?). As an American in Paris I have never found "the French" or even "the Parisians" rude. I have indeed encountered some abrupt individuals, some people who weren't especially warm and friendly, but even out and out rudeness would never lead me to draw a conclusion about everyone. I think <BR>many Parisians and many French people are more formal, more aloof toward strangers, more reluctant to get warm and fuzzy with people they don't know. <BR>Too often we Americans are seen as loud, overbearing, sloppy, inappropriately outgoing. In some cases we are, at least by comparison to other cultures. And by and large, we don't speak "their" language, we don't know much about their customs, and too many of us expect the universe to revolve around us (U.S) <BR> <BR>Also, what is appropriate behavior in a small town in the U.S. or in France,where most people know each other, may not be seen as "usual" behavior in a large city, and that goes for New York or Chicago as well as for Paris and Rome. <BR>When I travel I don't expect everyone I meet to be my friend. If it happens that's a wonderful surprise, but I don't expect it. And if I can't make myself understood in the local language, if I don't care for the food, if I don't like having my coffee after dessert instead of with dessert,if I don't like not being able to walk on the grass, if I don't like waiters who don't come to the table too often,if I don't like beverages without ice, if I don't like their bathrooms,that's MY problem, not their "rudeness". And if I can't handle the differences, I ought to stay home, and hear the rest of the world breathe a sigh of relief. <BR>

mwg

I recently went to Italy. In Rome, I couldn't find the road that I wanted (I was driving). My wife and I asked (in Italian) for directions to a passing man. He made some gesture of fluttering his hand under his chin, laughed and walked away. The second person we stoped pointed across the street, told us to park our car there and take a bus. We found where we were going on our own. I live and work in New York and many people say we're rude. I still think that much of this discussion centers around big city abruptness, which is international but, luckily, not uniform. This abruptness is accented when the person who stops you doesn't speak a word of your language. I found that I almost never saw this type of begavior in the countryside, smaller towns or smaller cities. Granted, the French will not tell you how well you're speaking the language, while you're butchering it (as the Italians would), but they are cordial people who treat visitors with respect in general.

Diane

My stepfather is a charming, loving, terrific man. But he is from the WWII era and still believes the French should be condemned for not resisting the Nazis. We made the mistake of trying to discuss the irrationality of holding current generations responsible for any such history, but as I said, it was a mistake. We won't have that discussion again, it's not worth it. His opinion is possibly not unusual (though not universal) among his generation, and once you're 80, it's unlikely you'll change your mind. So we don't bring up the topic of our wonderful vacation in Paris if he is around. Funny, but he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against Germany. He is a world traveller, and has fabulous stories of his travels. But he refuses to set foot in France.

Andria

I studied abroad and as a french major, im pretty much fluent. the french are reserved for the most part and it's just the way they are. They're not like meeting an american for the first time. They don't invest a lot of time into people they don't know. You are always going to have problems with waiters. If a waiter actually had to work for his tip he might be a little nicer. From experience though, Parisian waiters seem to be more rune than in a smaller town because all they see is tourists and it probably gets on their nerves. The thing not to forget is that americans are really worse when it comes to people speaking a foreign language. there are a lot of intolerant people in the US and there are in france too. You cant overgeneralize and the people who do are just plain old ignorant.

laiyee

Greg, I apologise if my posting is a bit off-track from yrs but just to share with you folks of our sweet experiences for the past 3.5 weeks in Europe...especially the so called French rudeness. <BR>Folks, ever since my husband & I had decided to travel to France for our honeymoon, I 'had nightmares' of the 'French people' stories. Heard so many awful tales of how RUDE & SNOOTY the French are. AND *gasp* ..imagining us terrified yellow skin folks being lost in Paris & dont know a nick of proper French at all. So, day & night, we 'burnt midnight oil' trying to pronounce BONJOUR & MERCI correctly. <BR>But, hey folks, we had no such AWFUL experiences at all in France. Instead we met a great set of friendly, helpful & pretty unique French. Well, I MAY BE WRONG cos some cute folks may say that we were just plain lucky or whatsoever but after spending 3.5 weeks in Greece, Italy, Switzer, Germany & FRANCE, I reckon that its all a matter of a 'tooth for a tooth' kind of story. If we smiled & say 'Hi... in their mother tongue, of course', chances are that these people will response graciously to us too. Well, it happened to us. <BR> <BR>So, from this wonderful experience, I will always share with my friends regardless of their race, do try to SMILE, greet people & try saying thank you in their mother tongue. It doesnt OUCH at all. So what if some individual dont bother with U & walk off abruptly. At least I have tried to greet them nicely 1st. I truly agree that if we speak French, we wd even have another wonderful set of experience...... <BR>

Mary Ann

Several years ago in Paris we were taking the metro to the Eifel Tower. I read some french, spoke very little. We were approaching the subway entrance and all 4 of us were unsure of the way. A french businessman, briefcase and hat stopped to ask if he could help. He explained the directions, we thanked him. At the bottom of the stairs in the subway, the signs seemed reversed. We were trying to decipher the language when he suddenly appeared pointed the way to go and proceeded to go back up and out of the subway. He really went out of his way to help us. We found that if you just spoke a few words, bonjour, merci, etc. it makes a whole world of difference. We apologized for our poor french, they apologized for their poor English, which was very good. Actually it was most italians we encountered that were rude or better put, inpatient with us, not only for directions but in restaurants. We were back in France in 1997, and really did not find one rude person in France and we were there for 5 days, including a hotel where no English was spoken. As stated above, alot of it is attitude. We will be in Venice this fall, hopefully we will fair better with the italians this time.

Juan

I don't think rudeness necessarily comes from people getting fed up with someone if they don't speak the native language of the country. I'm fluent in many languages but have still encountered some rude people despite me speaking their language fluently and with no apparent foreign accent (people can never tell where I am from..they often ask when we have long conversations and are always surprised). This rudeness happened once in a restaurant in Barcelona for instance where the waiter was just plain nasty when I simply asked him a very few very basic questions about items on the menu. My Spanish is flawless so it wasn't that (unless maybe it was *because* of that and he was a stauch Catalonian). Most of the time I think people are helpful if called upon. I have encountered helpful Parisians many times myself. <BR>