I'm So Depressed
 

I live in New York and although I am one of the lucky ones who has not lost family or friends, I have such feelings of sadness and anxiety. I went to see a movie yesterday and when I left the cinema I realized that I had not thought about the nightmare for more than two hours and it was a tremendous relief. As soon as I turned the radio on though, all the fear and sadness returned. My question to all of you is will we ever really be able to feel as excited and secure about traveling as we did before this happened? After my family travel and anticipating travel is the main source of my happiness and now I feel that possibly I have been robbed of this source. How does everyone else feel? Thanks for listening to me.

What a sweet letter. We need to talk about this and not just be angry. I volunteer at a USO at a busy airport, and I was thrilled to be able to be there l3 1/2 hours on Saturday and 5 hours on Sunday, just being with people helps, and we had a chance to be nice to people who are so stressed. Pray for our military and their families. They are really in need of prayers.

I am not stressed--I couldn't even type my email correctly. Two o's in Sophia???

Dear Depressed Traveler, <BR>I know exactly how you feel. I live in New Jersey, not far from Manhattan, and I just keep reliving this tragedy. I'm dreaming about it, picturing planes crash into buildings at work, crying at the sight of the flags all over the place, etc. We need to get past this. Going to church yesterday helped. Talking to people helps. Just doing the routine things you always do helps too. Turn off the television. There's nothing new there, and you're just subjecting yourself to the same tragic photos over and over again. We will recover from this, but it will take a long time... If you feel its really interfering in your life, get some counseling. But give yourself time--this is still too fresh in our minds.

I feel exactly the same way. For many of us on this site travel is one of the things that means the most to us. Along with the terrible toll in human life that resulted from last week's events, it also did assault our way of life in so many ways, and I am afraid what the future will be like. As I have said on previous posts, that is one reason I have decided I want to go ahead with my own planned trip; it will help ease my fear and show me that we can go on.

I also feel depressed. At first we were thrown into the events and adrenalin kind of took over. I was shocked and horrified, but not depressed. I watched the news anxious for even the smallest bit of information. Now I watch the news and don't even know why I am watching. I just kind of stare at the TV and the images flash in front of my eyes. The stories and photographs of the people who died make me cry and I wish there was something that I could do to change something... I know I have to find a way to cope and I wish that I had some great advice for the OP or anybody else who feels this way. Maybe knowing that so many others all across the country care ...

I can sympathize. Every time I feel I am beginning to recover a little I make the mistake of turning on the TV looking for new developments. It brings the whole flood of grief and despair back. I am leaving my TV off for a while and will try to focus on my trip to Italy this Friday. I am not saying in any way that I want to forget or slight the horrible events of last Tuesday, but I just want to feel something other than grief for the victims and anxiety for my relatives in the military for a brief moment or two. I think most of the people asking travel questions on this board feel the same way and are just seeking a momentary escape from the horror that all of our lives have become. If the self-righteous posters that are so quick to attack what they perceive to be "insensitive" posts are so very concerned perhaps they should not be spending their time on a travel board. Sorry to ramble on.

I wanted to go to England next year in the Spring and now I don't think I want to be on an overseas flight. Not only does it make one afraid to fly, but the repercussions on our economy is something which frightens me. There may not be any money to travel next year.

Sadness, yes. A profound sadness. And also a fatalism that says some kind of a terrorist attack on American soil may very well happen again. <BR> <BR>But I also know the risk I run of being in an accident, and dying, every day on the freeway, a risk that is, I'm sure, FAR greater than the risk of dying at the hands of a terrorist so no, I'm not really anxious about traveling, and I refuse to let terrorists rob me of this source of happiness.

"'m also from New York City and know exactly what you feel - we all feel that. But I also know we have been shielded from terrorism to some degree. Look at London, Paris, Rome car bombs etc. They have been deal with real issues for a long time now. As for USA there are already changes in place (INS is even involved), and we will come out of this stronger, better. As for flying and traveling my vacation is comming up and I'll be doing both since I do need it! Greetings from another New Yorker!

I cried when I read these posts because I feel the same way. I cry whenever I turn on the tv or hear a song on the radio. I can't seem to shake the depression and I am pretty far away in TN. I am afraid I will never get over my fear to fly again. I can't imagine how the people must be feeling that were involved since I feel so bad and was not even there. I don't mean to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself because I feel very lucky. I am just hoping to shake this sick feeling.

Me too. I went to my "normal" Sunday activity yesterday and was feeling a bit better when I learned that two of my friends had lost close family in the Pentagon attack. All the horror came flooding back. Today, I am only here at work in body. I want to smile again. When will I be able to smile again?

From another New Yorker: <BR> <BR>Ironically, in our immeasurable sorrow, we think of abandoning those things that gave our lives their greatest meaning. Prospective parents question whether they should bring children into such a world. Lovers of music or art doubt their ability to see beauty in a world gone ugly. Travelers who once were determined to see the world ask if instead they need to fear the world. <BR> <BR>The odds are with us. Of 5 billion people on this planet, 18 were so consumed with hatred that they committed this incomprehensible evil. Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, more supported and in some cases aided their evil cause. But their voices are drowned out by those of literally billions more who share our outrage, our sorrow, our demand for justice, and who have reached out to us this past week with every imaginable display of friendship and love. <BR> <BR>I want to meet those people. I learned this week not only that I have enemies, but far more important that I have an awful lot of friends I need to embrace and thank. That's why I'll travel again. And that is one of the best cures I can conceive for my own depression.

I have had the same reaction as the others on this thread - staring at the tv, start crying while walking down the street and a feeling of hollowness. And, I too count travel as my favorite hobby. <BR>I don't claim to be an expert but I think it takes a while to feel back to normal after something like this. I assume that it is better to cry now then to keep it all inside. As for feeling anxious about flying, I sure do now, but am sure too that at some point I'll want to fly again. In fact I cancelled a trip to Europe for later this week. Since I already took the time off work, though, my boyfriend and I have decided to take a road trip up North to somewhere we never would have gone normally. We are trying to explore some places more locally (we live in New England) that we would otherwise overlook in favor of heading off to Europe. Clearly there is no "bright side" to what has happen but I guess we are dealing by trying to make the best of our situation.

We planned for our trip to Paris for over 6 months and were scheduled to take off this Thursday, the 13th. Tuesday I was getting ready to start work in my home office in Park Slope, Brooklyn, thinking of all the lose ends I'd need to tie up before we left, when the news came on and I saw the clouds of black smoke billowing up from the first tower. About twenty minutes later I heard the boom from the second plane hitting the second tower. TV reception and phone lines went dead. We still don't have the office lines up. <BR> <BR>We didn't lose familiy or friends in the disaster. I've been experiencing all the grief and anger and anxiety that you mention too. My father was in France, all this past week, he managed to get a call through to us on Thursday and he called the hotel in Paris for us and cancelled our reservation. <BR> <BR>Hopefully, we'll be able to reschedule our trip for the Spring, mostly depending on world events that unfold. Obviously, our loss of a trip in comparison to everything else that's going on is extremely slight and inconsequential. But these days when I thought we'd be in Paris (our first time there) and the idea strikes me, then I think of why we're not and I feel like I'm having to think of this terrible reality we're living through right now. <BR> <BR>M in Brooklyn

I feel very depressed, too. Someone I used to know called depression "anger turned inward", and that's exactly what it is. I've always felt lucky to be the type of person who could bounce back from anything. This one, though, is different. Something is irretrievably lost because of this, something we won't just bounce back from, and yes, it is our sense of safety and security. There is a certainty that we live in a world where things like this do happen. We can no longer kids ourselves that they are "out there" in TV land on the evening news, in some other part of the world; they happen "in here" in our own neighborhoods. <BR> <BR>I've been trying to go about my daily business and be as "normal" as possible. We were also very lucky not to have lost immediate family or very close friends. So I feel, in a sense, that I don't really have a right to feel so devastated when there are others who are in such worse circumstances. Yet, I am dumbstruck, and I feel like my heart has been broken. <BR> <BR>I've been going through the motions, mostly trying to be there for my boyfriend, keeping a close sort of emotional monitor on him, as he was downtown when it happened, and I can see how it's affected him, though he isn't as expressive about it. I feel worse for him than I do for me. But early this morning he had to shake ME out of a screaming nightmare. I keep thinking that to "do" is the best, the only, way to cope, because we can't just give up. But all I want to do is lie down and sleep. I feel very tired. <BR> <BR>This is going to take a long time to get over, if ever. And there is also, for me anyway, the knowledge that for all the flag waving and rah-rah America sentiment, there are going to be many more lives lost. And who knows what will happen next, and when it will be over. Maybe it won't ever be over. It is very depressing indeed. <BR> <BR>I have no plans for travel right now. Though today at lunch I said to my boyfriend - wouldn't it be nice if we were in the south of France right now, having lunch someplace pleasant. Escape would be nice - but there is no escape. We'll just have to wait and see about travel. The world will go on, and I'm sure we WILL travel again. But right now just doesn't feel like the time.

I also have been feeling pretty depressed, then it swings to a sense of dread over what will happen next. <BR>I've found it good to be pro-active... trying to help. I've found it good to be around my family and friends. <BR>Yesterday was the first day I even felt mildly better, and less angy at folkes who seemed oblivious to the entire situation...(weird, but that's what I felt.) <BR>I have better days and worse days.Guess I am glad that our trip is not until March. I am still planning on going and that's all there is to it, unless they tell me I can't for some reason. <BR>But it's a very personal choice. <BR>If you feel sad, know that you are not alone, I think many MANY more people then you realize have anxiety... depression etc. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, we will all get through this as best we can.

Escritora, your note made me feel better and put this in perspective a bit. Thanks. We can all help each other through this... We're not planning on traveling until our trip to Italy next June, which I am going to get back to planning this week.

Things like this can make you act and feel ways you normally wouldn't. Wednesday (9/12) I went to the grocery store and the person in line behind me was incredibly rude to me. The details don't really matter and normally I wouldn't have paid any attention to it, but it upset me so much that day. I felt like aren't we all going through enough without being mean to each other... Anyway, it has bothered me all week. I have spent a great deal of time this week contemplating human nature, not just the woman at the grocery store. I know that was nothing. But how people can hate us so much to perpetrate this horrible act and that there were people celebrating in the middle eastern countries over our tragedy. <BR> <BR>Let it also be said that I also have been incredibly impressed by the compassion and bravery of so many more people. I am trying to concentrate on that.

Me too! <BR>I was out doing errands on this gorgeously, brilliant late summer day, and my mind wandered a bit...and I felt, just for a second, a little bit of "God is in his heaven, and all is right with the world", sneaking into my reality. Then I stopped myself, and thought how I should not be feeling anything positive, when such dire events occur. Must be my Catholic guilt trip. <BR> This too shall pass. I hope!? <BR> Judy :-(

We are all in the same boat with the same feelings, same sadness, same "I can't belive what happened," same depression and so on. I have not turned on the radio today at work because I just can't bear to hear another news article. When I'm busy working at my job, I do forget about last weeks events. But then my mind starts to wander or I see postings here or someone down the hallway says something, and I go back to seeing those buildings on fire and coming down. This weekend was absolutely beautiful in Maryland, yet besides working 4 hours overtime at work, I did nothing! Tony asked me about going out Saturday evening and I didn't feel like going out. We sat at home and watched t.v. <BR> <BR>I will continue to make my plans for my November Italy trip and if seems safe to travel at that time I will go! <BR> <BR>Thanks everyone for being a friend. We will eventually place these events in the back of our minds and hopefully live our normal lives, but we will never forget! <BR> <BR>Take care everyone!

I just wanted to write that all of your reactions are normal. The human mind, by its nature, tries to make sense of things. We want to know why. The hard reality is that there often are no answers to those questions. Accepting that fact, as well as working through the anger, sadness and grief are part of the healing process. We will never "get back to normal" as we are forever changed. BUT, and here is the silver lining, we will in time, find our "new normal." This forum can provide a healthy outlet to work toward developing our new normal. I do not say these things lightly. Although I am not a mental health professional, I have been trained in peer support and the basics of PTSD. In addition, I had my own brush with violence that required me to find my own new normal. I continue to find the "new normal" process invaluable both personally and professionally. I hope this offers some comfort.

Please let me add my voice to those who have been saying that it will take some time before we all feel better. I think we're all suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and it hurts, and it's likely to keep hurting for a little while yet. I can tell you what was a bit helpful for me - I'm a registered nurse with a lot of experience in psychiatry. I live in Toronto. Today I learned that the Ontario Ministry of Health is compiling a list of medically-trained volunteers, although there has been no request from the US for help from Canada as yet. I phoned up and got my name on the list. Perhaps later down the road we will be needed. In any event, it made me feel a tiny bit less helpless. Do take care, everybody.

Here in Maryland, I made myself go out at lunch today on a mundane errand. Was listening to Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon talk about when they might feel like enjoying sports...how nothing really seems quite the same and will it ever? I looked up and saw an airplane taking off from BWI and realised it was the first one I've seen since Tuesday. It looked beautiful, and I was reassured about my trip to Chicago on Friday. I noticed a dog in the back of the car in front of me at a light. His tail was wagging wildly and you could feel how happy he was, in that dog-like happy way, and I appreciated seeing that and it made me smile. Then I looked in the rearview mirror and noticed a young couple in the car behind me...he reached over and touched her cheek and they smiled at each other and lightly kissed. I thought how good it was to see them. I am really taking notice of my all-American suburban surroundings and appreciate how lucky I am to be me, right now. I woke up from a nightmare last night, and remembered where I was, and heard my son downstairs and my husband coming to bed, and gave thanks that we are together and safe. My daughter went back to work in Manhattan today. She has the same blue sky and sunshine, but also those smoldering piles of debris where I once thrilled to take friends and family members up to see the city from the top of the world. I haven't heard from her yet today (we've spoken daily since Tuesday at noon) and I'm wondering how she is doing. She works in the financial trade and I suspect she's hearing about people she's met, or the friends and family of someone she works with. Generally she shares this tendency toward natural optimism, but being so close I think it will take her longer to reach this stage of growing confidence and resolve.

Does "Escritora" mean writer? I hope so, because it's certainly true-- that was very eloquent. <BR> <BR>I get very emotional when I see some of the beautiful gestures of support and/or patriotism (singing 'America the Beautiful' in church yesterday caused me to melt). What saves me from depression, especially at work, is the sense that I have a job to do to support my clients and my company. I'm not a firefighter or police officer-- in fact my work is incredibly insignificant in light of what has gone on. But I have the ability-- therefore the responsibility-- to provide perspective, to reassure people and to, in a tiny way, move things forward. <BR> <BR>There was a wonderful commentary on NPR the other day about how the terrorist relies on our complicity to complete his work. In responding to terror, the degree to which we change our lives, let business fail, decrease freedom, increase hatred-- all of these fulfill the ultimate goal of the terrorist. <BR> <BR>To avoid depression, it helps to have a sense of purpose. We all have in common the purpose of preventing the final success of the terrorist act.

The best suggestion I can make for everyone, including myself, is to do the things you normally would do, act the way you normally would, even if you have to force yourself at first. You will feel better. Turn the TV and computer off for awhile. Go for a walk or a run. Go shopping. Read a light-hearted book. I played outside with my daughter all afternoon today. I was depressed but I made myself do it anyway and I feel better because of it. <BR> <BR>You won't help anybody by letting this cripple you emotionally. I know this is easier said than done for those of you who are truly depressed. You just have to make yourself do it. <BR>

DT and everyone else, <BR>Of course we are depressed! <BR>Everything as we knew it has changed and changed forever. <BR>This was an intentional act against the human race. <BR>One committed with the intentional purpose of killing many and leaving the rest of us in varying degrees of mental terror. <BR>One can never be sure of being "safe" again . <BR>At least not in the way we, as Americans, have always thought we were. <BR> <BR>I heard a mental health worker talking on NPR, and he mentioned that there will be hundreds of thousands of cases of PTSD occuring because of this horror. <BR>(post-traumatic stress disorder) <BR>and it can affect even those of us who did not lose anyone "personally", or who were miles from the crashes. <BR> <BR>Depression is a very difficult thing, and anyone who has ever been clinically depressed can attest to that !! <BR>It clouds the mind, it sucks the color out of one's vision. <BR>It is real, but it should pass. <BR> <BR>The best thing to do, is to recognize that things are really upsetting now, so try and be kind to one's self, <BR>Lessen expectations you put on yourself try to eat balanced diet, drink water, exercise , rest more if you can. <BR> <BR>And if you find that this does not pass, or lighten in a couple weeks, seriously consider talking to a healthcare professional. <BR>You may need some therapuetic or pharmacological assistance to break the cycle. <BR> <BR>This is a real trauma guys. <BR>Most of us have just been lucky enough to have never experienced something so monumental in our lives. <BR>But, we can and will recover. <BR>

It does, Robin. Thanks. I've essentially been writing my way through this, and it helps me to think that perhaps some of my scribblings have been of some help to anyone else here. Thanks again.

Of course we are all depressed. In an hour our whole world changed last week. We will take a long time to feel better, but we will never "get over" this. Just as those of us who lived through the Kennedy assassination almost 38 years ago carry the pain from with us still, the pain from September 11th will always be there. <BR> <BR>Personally, I will not plan any overseas trips until I can see better what the future holds. That does not mean I won't fly. I just won't go anywhere for the time being where I wouldn't be able to rent a car and drive back if the planes were grounded. <BR> <BR>Talking about what happened and connecting with others is the best thing to do. <BR> <BR>To those of you who are planning to travel in the near future: Do you think you can really get away from this by changing locations? The grieving is world wide. I would rather wait to travel until I felt I could enjoy myself. But, folks, that is my personal opinion.

When my grandmother (with whom I was very close) died, I remember looking at peoples' faces in the cars next to me as I drove to my mother's house. It seemed so amazing to me that these people were smiling, laughing, singing along with a song on the stereo. It was a revelation of sorts because I then realized that others had experienced the same sorrow I was experiencing and their lives did indeed go on. My world had bottomed out, but I realized that I would get through it, life (even though with a void) would continue and that I could be happy again. It would just take time. <BR> <BR>It also helped me to be around others who were not crying, who were not depressed, who were carrying on with their lives. <BR> <BR>The rest of the world is grieving too, but not with the same infinite depth as Americans. <BR> <BR>Those who can travel now may realize these things. For those who cannot, it will take more time. Each person is different and each person follows what they feel is best for them.