I did it! I did it!
 

Finally, i booked our trip to Italy. i can't believe it, i'm so excited. my husband isn't excited about it, I guess because he doesn't care about going. but i'm just thrilled. maybe next time, i'll leave him home. so richard as soon as i find out about what hotel i'm in, i'd like to ask about your experience in the area. actually, it doesnt really matter, i'm going.

Ro, I know just how deleriously happy you feel right now! Good for you! Don't worry about hubby, he'll love it when he gets there.

Ro, I'm going on my 1st trip ever outside of the US! So I know exactly how you feel. This is the one thing I needed (not wanted) to do before I died. I left hubby at home (costs too much $$, etc. etc.), but he has promised to go next year, IF we go to Ireland, and I've promised to let him plan the itinerary (although I'll probably have to make all the reservations, do the research, etc.). Just wanted to reply! <BR> <BR>Have a great vacation! Let us know how it was when you get back! <BR> <BR>Mary :)

mary: i also have wanted to go to italy most of my life. and its the only country i've ever wanted to see before i died (how morbid are we?) anyway, i didnt want to go the first time by myself and take a gondola ride with my sister. thus....the husband is coming. my daughter is traveling to ireland this year. traveling with friends who have been to ireland before and not worried about where they sleep and how to get around. thats not me. i gotta know. this board has been wonderful with all the information people offer. i just cant wait. i wish it were tomorrow.

But Ro, if it were tomorrow, it would be over that much sooner! <BR>Half the enjoyment is the anticipation building! <BR>When are you going? <BR>Where in Italy are you going? <BR>We , too, are going, (children included) for the first time this summer. <BR>I began to plan last April, and now ,it is only 3 1/2 months away! <BR>

Good for You!! Don't let your husband spoil the trip. You'll love it...

Ro, My husband and I went last year and he was "not as enthusiastic" as I. We had a fabulous 21 day trip and he's now anxious to return to see other areas of Italy. The people were wonderful and helpful and friendly. But we went to places that were "off the beaten path." We stayed away from the "touristy" restaurants, etc. Have a great trip!! You'll love it. <BR>Elaine

I always had to "drag" my husband along. Then, once he got there, he loved it. If he complains about going, just fortify yourself with that fact. He'll love it--the problem is putting up with him till he finds that out!

Good on you Ro, it is exciting. I have 4 teenage children who will stay at home with Dad when I go to Italy in June. <BR>I travel with 2 friends. Whilst my family have no problem with me going on a trip, many others do... <BR>Most women are horrified that I can leave my children for 7 weeks. I usually don't tell anyone that I am going on a trip. <BR>In 98, I went to the UK for 5 weeks.My husband took my son to his Rugby training, a job I usually did. When I returned from my trip and picked up the Rugby training again, a number of women thought I had deserted my family!!!! <BR>Enjoy your trip and then plan the next one. <BR>

Ro, <BR>I know how excited you are, my girlfriends and I leave on 3/20 for Milan, taking the Train to Florence and then renting a car for the rest of the time and just moving around. Don't really have any specific plans. Booked a hotel in Florence for 2 nights and one in Milan for the end of the trip, but the rest of trip will be spur of the moment. I usually have a more relaxed time on trips like this with girlfriends than with my husband. Have a great time

kim good for you. i just realized that i've been working for 39 years of my life; i've been at the same company for 23 years; married to the same man for 37 years. money isnt any better now than it was before. i wish i had someone other than my husband to travel with. if i'm with my husband and i see something i want to purchase, there's always the 3rd degree. do you really need that? what are you goin to do with that? then if i do buy something i feel like i have to sneak to bring it into the house. once i've bought the item, he always says how nice it looks or compliments me. its just feeling like i'm going thru a hassle and i dont want or need it. but anyway, i'm excited and thats all i care about. <BR> <BR>barbara: have a wonderful and safe trip with your friends. hope you enjoy!

Ro, <BR>I am sorry about the difficulties you have (husband) <BR>Do you have a sister,brother or other relative you are close to? <BR>How about a girlfriend? <BR> <BR>Have you ever read the book by Elizabeth Berg, The Pull Of The Moon, ? <BR>This is from a letter to her husband of 30 yrs. <BR>"Not long ago I saw a woman in a drugstore pick something up in her hand,delighted, and hold it out to her husband. <BR>It was just a perfume bottle but the shape of it was lovely. <BR>"see this,hon?" she said. and the man said "yeah", but he had his back to her and was walking down the aisle away from her.The woman put the thing back, diminished... <BR>I am just pointing out what I uncover. You can look or not.I want the difference to be that I don't put the thing backon the shelf because you say it is not worth seeing" <BR> <BR>Sorry for this, I know this would be better on a forum discussing books. <BR>(I am melancholy today, it is March in Vermont, and snowing again). <BR>But, this book really highlights something I think all women feel at times, and is probably why we travel better with our girlfriends than partners. <BR>But, I am glad you are excited , Ro. <BR>Where in Italy will you be? <BR>When and for how long? <BR>I think some/many of us would love to know. <BR>Have a great, great trip!

Ro: Back in 1992 I had the opportunity to go to Rome and Sorrento. I asked my husband if he wanted to go and he said no. Guess what? I went without him. Now he knows I only ask once. <BR>I just booked a trip to Northern Italy the 1st 2 weeks in May and he's going with me - he's a fast learner. <BR>You Go Girl!!

Just to be different: my husband tried to drag me to Italy for years. It was during the time of the Red Brigades, Aldo Moro murder, etc. I WOULD NOT go! <BR>Well... he prevailed... to make a long story short.. have been to Venice 6 times, plus, plus plus. I'd leave now if someone walked in with a ticket. <BR>

<BR>Ro, Try to find the film "Shirley Valintine". It totally addresses your situation (and one I was once in). The self-centered husband and the wife with a strong Passion to visit Greece. Loved that movie. <BR> <BR>May this be the beginning of many adventures for yourself (with or without the hubby).

Ro, <BR>I agree with Alice; <BR>The movie; Shirley Valentine. <BR>It is great! <BR> <BR>

Hi Ro and All, if my husband did not like to travel as much as I do, I would have to seriously rethink our relationship! I LOVE to travel,,,,,if he did not, I would wonder about our compatibility. And as I always say: Carpe Diem! I am so glad for you, Ro, have the very best time ever! Judy :-)

Hi, Ro! I was so excited to see your message because I too am dragging a reluctant husband to Italy after talking about it for 20 years. I have been there several times, all before I knew him. He is a twice-a-week golfer who hates to shop, and always has said it would make his back hurt to walk all over those museums. I don't know what made him change his mind, but he is now starting to look for the right shoes. Otherwise, he never mentions the trip and won't read any of the books I buy about Italy. He's a nice guy though and I know he's doing this for me. What he doesn't know is that after he actually gets there he will probably really like it. If not, next time (and there <BR>WILL be a next time), I'll go with my girlfriends. They can't get their husbands to go at all.

This is also a first trip for my boyfriend and I to Italy in June. He was not too enthusiastic about it neither at first, but since he is a theology teacher, I told him how he will get to see where the pope resides and all the wonderful churches we will visit, and see all the actual religious artifacts, etc... now he's anxious to get his passport!

Who wants to take a gondola ride with a husband who doesn't want to be there. I have one of those too. There are plenty of eligible men to take gondola rides with when you get there, and no, you do not have to break your marriage vows, just fantasise (sp?) and enjoy. Have fun!!!!

Ro, <BR>Twenty years ago, my husband was not excited about going to Spain. He had never been outside the US, and that's what I live for! He loved it! Now, we're ALWAYS talking about the next trip. Just try to find things that interest him. I'm sure he'll enjoy it just as much as you. Enjoy!

Ro: <BR>The first time we went to Europe my husband definitely did not want to go. He tried to back out about 20 times (and was very creative and somewhat convincing in his methods of escape). However, I persevered, as did you, and was totally organized and had everything lined up so he didn't get anxious. Result: We had a blast and he fell in love with overseas travel! We are now planning our third trip and he's probably checking this forum from work right now! My advice: find out what bothers him and subtly and methodically do everything you can to neutralize his fears. In this way you create a partner not an adversary. Good luck.

I talked about a trip to Italy for a year. Ny husband the control freak was digging his heels. I finally told him that I was going with or without him. He beleived me and went. He had a difficult time on our first European trip. And it was all because he was out of his element and couldn't control everything. <BR>As the previous poster said, eliminate as many fears as possible. That's what I did and the trip was great. We just concluded our 8th trip abroad having visited 10 countries for a total of 7 months all told. Hand in there, Ladies! And go without if you must!

Reading these messages makes me wonder--why is it mostly women dragging reluctant men to foreign places? Is it the control freak aspect-or are women just more adaptable creatures and therefore less afraid of the unknown? Or is it just that more women are interested in this discussion? I'm taking an Italian class at a local college and 75% of the students are women.

Melinda, <BR>All three!

I've wondered about this topic ... didn't know it was so widespread until the Forum addiction meant that I saw so many posts about it. My dad gave my mom an unconditional "no!" to Europe, so I've taken her to Europe three times -- number four next year (crossed fingers) and he gets lots of postcards. What causes this? (Dr. Fordor?) I think that the board must have a monopoly on many of the learned, well traveled men (Ed, Mr. Fowler, Bob the Navigator, Paulo, Rex, Patrick, sorry to miss anyone) ... at least I hope that their travel partners are appreciative (I certainly am for their advice). How 'bout the men ... anyone have to drag their wives/partners along?

Sorry about all the typos, the "controller" was just walking into the house! <BR> <BR>I believe it is all three, Melinda. <BR>I love my husband dearly, and am so happy that he was able to take that first plunge (although he knows I WOULD have left him behind, and that is probably the real reason that he accompanied me!), we have really enjoyed our travels together. <BR> <BR>What are your experiences, women? Were these men able to enjoy the trip once you got them there, and are they willing to go again?

Oh, this was a hoot reading about all the difficulty getting men to travel with us!! I saw it firsthand when I asked my folks to accompany me to New York City last December for 5 days. Dad never expresses any interest in traveling...except shuttling from No. CA to So. CA by car or every summer "home" to Ireland to visit relatives. Mom was excited to go to New York; she's always wanted to travel, but Dad has always been so uninterested. Well, we went, saw 3 shows, dined out, walked everywhere and had a terrific time. By the first evening's phone call back to Dad, he was regretting not being there. So, when I mentioned Italy, he quickly jumped on the bandwagon. So, gals, go alone or with your friends. Let the fellas back home know about the terrific time you're having. Rub it in! Next time they'll show a little enthusiasm...and if they don't, I say go without them and have a blast!!

I've know many folks who put off travel or refuse to go for one reason or another. Usually they are just frightened of the unknown. It's really a shame. My mother's family comes from Italy and I've finally persuaded her to visit the place...she's 79. For years I tried to get her and my dad to go. My dad never made it. Who knows why....he had the money and the time...but also that fear. It's really a shame. <BR> <BR>Photos of Italy...http://www.jimtardio.com/italy.html

GREAT post Ro! It was great reading! And here I've felt so left out because I'm divored and no husband to travel with for the "romatic" stuff....but my girlfriend and I have been on (2) cruises and now for the first time....going on a Danube River Cruise...it's been my dream to go to Europe my whole life.....and in only (44) days!!! Whowhooooooo!! Guess you don't need that guy after all!! I agreed with everyone....go without 'em and have a blast! Have a GREAT time in Italy Ro (it's on my travel wish list!)

God I'm glad I'm a gay man.

i think my husband finally realized i was serious about going either with him or w/o him. so that's why he's going. but your right, ask once maybe twice then find someone else to go with.