Kelabel

crepes,
I am all chill about travelling alone because I am the planner as well when I travel with friends.

If you were the one saying, honey where are we going' then you should be worried.

crepes_a_go_go

Grandmère - I am staying with a family. They don't give you the details until a week or so before you are scheduled to arrive. I have wondered since I am staying so long, if maybe it would be better to divide my time between a couple of different families? You know how fish and company smells after a few days - LOL!

Lexma90

You've gotten tons of great advice and encouragement. I admire your adventure, and would love to think I might do something like that myself some day.

For your first few days in Paris, make some specific plans, so you don't wake up in the morning feeling lost or at loose ends. Take advantage of the time to do things the way YOU want to, whether it's to sleep in or wake early and take a daybreak stroll around the city. If you don't want to sit in a restaurant by yourself during those first few days, pick up food for a picnic meal in a park somewhere. When I've eaten alone at restaurants (alas, only on business trips so far), I take a book or a journal or something I can refer to if needed (though usually I'm far too busy people-watching).

WillTravel

Some might screech in horror at this suggestion, but the fact is that staying at a hostel is just about the best way to meet other travelers. If you do want this option, you can have a private room if booked far enough in advance.

WillTravel

This is another option for meeting people in Paris. It's staying at the Sacre Coeur guesthouse.

Here is the email I got from the nuns there:

Thank you for your message.
Our guesthouse is a Roman Catholic guesthouse where people come for a time
of recollection, retreat or pilgrimage for 2 or 3 days. People who come to
stay here come to pray, and to take part in the night time prayer in the
Basilica (adoration of the Blessed Sacrement.)

They can come on a full board or half board basis (minimum half board, that
is to say dinner, bed and breakfast), and are invited to take part in the
offices at the Basilica if they wish. The participation for a stay here is
as follows:

Bedroom (twin or double with private shower, wash basin, sheets and towels)
10 Euros per person per night (13 Euros for a single room)

Diner 10 Euros per person
Breakfast 4 Euros per person
Lunch 10 Euros per person

You can also visit our internet site www.sacre-coeur-montmartre.com. I
am also sending you a file (Word) with some more details on the guesthouse .
Please note that the guesthouse is closed each week from Sunday evening
through to Monday evening. You can send your request for a reservation back through E-Mail if this is the sort of stay that you are looking for. Thank you again for your enquiry,

La soeur hôtelière

easytraveler

Crepes_a_go_go, you'll be fine, as everyone has stated.

Get a digital camera. Take lots of pictures. Post the best ones on a website. Your family can access the website from this end and get memorable pictures of you and the sights you are seeing! This is one way to "share" with family when you are not close. Ah, technology!

We have had teens in our family go for language classes in Europe for months at a time. This is the way we keep in touch with them and share in their experiences. Besides phone and emails.
We also post pictures on our end - of family members, of pets, of something that's funny...

As long as you are thinking of them, your family will never be too far away! Have fun in France!

hanl

I turned up in Tours on my own a few years ago too. Rather than spend the first few days in Paris, I spent them in Tours itself. My course didn't start for another week, and I didn't have anywhere to live! When I did find a place, I couldn't move into it for a few days, so I spent that time staying in a small hotel, strolling around the city with a map and a notebook, getting to know the streets, museums, shops, churches... And when all else failed and I felt really tired and lonely, I went and sat in the library and read my way through the English book section!!

And once my French course started, I made a load of new friends within a few days. Everybody is in the same boat, and people of all ages quickly become good friends on these courses.

I don't think you need to worry about the homestay either. You won't (shouldn't!) be expected to behave like a houseguest, tiptoeing around. You may even find there are other foreign students staying there too.

Anyway, in the words of the late, great Doctor Seuss:
"You have brains in your head,
You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose.
You're on your own, and you know what you know,
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go."

Kavey

Crepes a go go

I doubt I can add anything new to all the wonderful advice you have already received but I will throw some thoughts at you anyway.

I truly think you will have a marvellous time, and you will certainly make friends quickly on the course.
Be aware that a lot of the people who attend will not have signed up for the whole 6 weeks as it's also possible to sign up for 2-3 week sessions also. This shouldn't be an issue but if you want to you can always ask the college, on arrival, if there are others signed up for the full duration, and make sure to include them in your early circle of friends.

There will still be times when you are lonely and miss home/ family. That's to be expected - your family are central to your life - it would be strange if you didn't miss them on such a long trip away. As well as all the internet and phone communication take a along a small album that you can insert about 10-20 favourite snapshots into and carry it with you. I did one of these and also enjoyed being able to show new friends my family, friends, house, boyfriend etc. Also, there is something special about receiving proper letters (on paper) through the postal system - can you ask your family to send you some real ones early on so that they have time to arrive in the post?

As for the host family - I'm sure you'll have a great time - of course it's hard to predict just how this will be since it depends so much on the family you're assigned. But certainly many families take in guests because they are people people. A few do it more as a B&B style income generator though are still nice people. Maybe you can contact CLE and ask for a family that is well known as being welcoming and inclusive of guests and that might even arrange to do a few excursions with you on a weekend etc?

Paris may be the hardest bit as you will be freshly away from home, have no friends from the course yet and be staying in a hotel but just be prepared and arrange to speak to family each night before bed (if time differences allow).

Have a wonderful, wonderful time!

allovereurope

I think it's good that you are facing the fear NOW--rather than showing up, all excited, and then facing an unexpected wave of homesickness. As someone who lives abroad, that was the most important thing for me to recognize: that I WILL get homesick, and that I should think of ways to prepare for the waves.

When a wave of homesickness hits, treat yourself. Before you gobuy a book you've always wanted to read, but save it for when you're really down. Or think of a meal you've always wanted to eat in France, or something you've always wanted to buy but couldn't justify. Don't indulge in them until you're REALLY down; they will be the treats to "pick you back up". You may find that you never need to indulge in your treats at all.

Also, make sure to bring a few photos, or teddy bears, or whatever it is that reminds you of home.

klondike

Very excited for you crepes, and can identify with your anxiety. But anyone who has been a wife and mother can handle this! And it will be a worthwhile growing experience--you owe it to yourself and your family to branch out and grow. Had you ever considered that being reluctant to leave your family is sending the message to your husband and especially children that you don't think they can be responsible without you? This trip is as important for their growth/self confidence as it is for yours. Don't send the wrong message.

Some (maybe obvious) practical suggestions:
1. keep a daily diary/journal no matter how tired you are; it will allow you to blow off steam and process your feelings as well as becoming a great documentary/momento later on. Gives you something to do evenings in your room if you don't go out. An easy way to do this is to buy a whole bunch or "aerogrammes" at the post office and use these in place of a notebook...sort of kills 2 birds w/one stone, records and serves as correspondance to the family! Don't have to worry about how many stamps etc. and can drop off at any boite de lettres.

2. Make a list of what the fears are and problem solve now. What would help allay the fears? Afraid of going out at night in Paris? Buy picnic stuff and eat in your room. Stay in a busier area, like a major boulevard (i.e. Blvd St. Germain, Blvd. St. Michel etc.) where there are lots of cafes where you could sit and enjoy an early evening drink steps from your hotel. Take a French book or newspaper to read, and EXUDE self-confidence even if scared on the inside. It's how you are PERCEIVED that affects how you are treated, not how you really feel. Don't want to be alone? Take a Cityrama tour/hire a private guide. The first day or two take a taxi so as to not stress out about the possibility of getting lost etc. You could share with us those fears you don't see an acceptable solution to. Lots of experience here on Fodors.

3. Try to identify what calms you. Consider all your senses. I came from a family of 10 and had always shared a room with others. For me it was the silence/isolation in my room that got to me and playing my favorite calming music helped me get to sleep. Maybe it's a favorite book--the Book of Psalms with my favorite inspirational psalms tagged worked. Bring your favorite comfort snack food if possible (no guarantee you can get it over there). Maybe a favorite scented candle, bubble bath or lotion. Bring something of your husband's that has his scent on it-I sleep in my husband's Tee and have a small piece of his jewelry that I keep in my pocket and finger it during the day (like worry beads sort of, I guess).

4) Regarding family stay: Learn as much as you can about cultural differences beforehand, so you don't worry so much about committing a faux pas. The French are more reserved and may come off as aloof. Don't take it personally. Don't ask personal questions. In public they don't look you in the eyes in passing, even having a "disinterested" air (whereas Americans tend to have this very naive "gawking" look about them) Talk a decibel or two lower--Americans are loud (even when they think they aren't}. A lot of families watch tv. during/after dinner. Don't hide in your room. TV is a great way to pick up language because you have the visual cues and the programs are sometimes American so you know the storyline to start with. Take some sort of gift for your family and present it the first day after you've settle in. It truly is the thought that counts here, so any nice gift is fine. Do insist on helping so you are part of the family and not a "guest". Offer to do something inocuous at first, say setting the table, instead of trying to help cook the dinner. (Est-ce que je peux mettre le couvert, madame?) Know that the French consider it polite to refuse an offer the first or second time. So when you offer to help, they are probably going to refuse out of politeness . Be gently insistent (Mais il faut que je fasse quelquechose, madame. Comment est-ce que je peux vous aider?) Conserve energy! Help clean up after dinner, maybe clearing the table instead of doing things that require getting into cupboards, for example. Electricity is expensive--turn off lights when leaving a room. Don't leave water running at full speed while you brush your teeth, etc. Be observant (without stressing) and follow their cues. Americans are very wasteful.
Use the "vous" form and don't call them by their first name, unless they tell you you can tu-toi them and to use their first name (this doesn't apply to their minor children, however) Hang out with young children, they speak better than you and are very forgiving! Even young French LOVE to talk politics. Decide whether you are going to enter into that labrynth before you go! Either avoid it all together (that's what I do) or be very well versed on American policy/history. I assure you THEY are. You'll get their respect if you can hold your own, but it is hard to do. Be careful not to verbally compare their culture and ours all the time unless you're asked. It could be viewed as criticizing. (How obnoxious to constantly hear, "Well, back in the U.S. we..." --like we do everything the best!) Unless you feel your family is just "hosting" you because they are being paid, it would be nice to occasionally bring home some fresh flowers or a little box of fine chocolates or pastry. (no crysthamemums --sp?--they're for the deceased! )

5) Give yourself permission to not dwell on your family or contact them too much. Other than to let them know you made it safely upon arrival, I would avoid frequent phone conversation, personally. First of all, it will actually make you more homesick to hear their voices AND secondly you should concentrate on being "in the moment" of your experience. After all, you deserve this!

Sorry to have rattled on and on. Hope this gives you some ideas.

ira

Hi crepes,

After your first day or two, you will get over the feeling of being alone.

After that, the problem will be getting you to come home.

crepes_a_go_go

Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement, my cyber travelling friends! I am feeling much better today. I think you are right - this feeling comes in waves. There is no reason I can't do it. I know I'll keep having these feelings until I am there and grounded.

Also, I am going to print out this discussion and put it in my suitcase, so that when I get this feeling, I can drag it out and read it and get that boost all over again. Merci beaucoup!

Margie

You have received such wonderful advice here. I would just like to add that in addition to calling or e-mailing family, you can always post here and your Fodorite Friends will be here for you! You are going to have a wonderful exciting, journey - go forth and conquer!

coldwar27

Have a great time. I did a month in Europe alone last summer and wouldn't trade the experience. I discovered a lot about myself and still enjoy reading from my travel journal. The freedom to meet all kinds of people and to explore on your own is priceless.

Don't forget to pack some Chex Mix too

crepes_a_go_go

coldwar - thanx! I needed a little travelling chex mix joke! If I took some with me as a hostess gift for the family I am staying with, how would I ever explain it en français? LOL

jmw44

Hi, this is an interesting and informative thread for many of us. Crepes, you will have a wonderful time.

Please permit me to interrupt and ask an etiquette question to pass along to a couple of my students who are about to visit Paris for Easter: I'd like to help them be polite shoppers, since I know they will shop. I'll tell them to be sure to greet the proprietor with Bonjour when they enter. But I cannot recall what is acceptable in the way of 'browsing' -- Must they wait to be shown various items, or are there shops where one can handle things w/o assistance? It seems that I remember that there are differences of manners in this regard. Any pointers you can share to help our teenagers behave properly will be appreciated. J.

ira

Hi jm,

You will get more responses if you post your own question, rather than piggybacking.

In general, stores in Europe (unless they are specifically 'self service') prefer that you ask for (or point to) what you want and let the clerk show it to you.

jmw44

Thanks, Ira, and all I needed was a single useful response -- yours is it. I'll pass the info on to the teens. I 'piggy-backed' because much of the discussion here has been related to feeling at home and comfortable in Paris. I might be wrong, but I thought perhaps crepes would be interested in your answer as well. J.

crepes_a_go_go

jmw44 - I've been to France several times before, so I want to add a little something to your shopping question, especially since it involves students. While Ira is totally correct with his response of the acceptable shopping protocol, when shopping for inexpensive souvenirs, tiny, hole-in-the-wall souvenir shops are the cheapest. These are usually run by non-French merchants, and they allow you to browse on your own. Usually there is only one or two workers there, and if the store is crowded, they are unable to assist you personally. Your students will make many faux-pas, and that's ok. I have been studying this language and culture for over 30 years and I am sure I still, and probably always will, make mistakes when in France. As long as you are polite, they understand.

deelyn

Hi crepes a go go...i think you must be back from your long trip and wondering how you made out....please let me know as I am planning on travelling alone without my husband and am a bit afraid also........