How to not be ugly - even if you're American.
 

There are hundreds of threads about how Europeans perceive Americans, some of them containing nuggets of advice about deportment. The basic rule is: be friendly and polite, and (most) others will reciprocate.

To which I would add: wherever you travel, keep in mind that most of the people living wherever you go do not have the resources to get on a plane and travel thousands of miles, live in hotels, and eat in restaurants for weeks at a time. The standard of living enjoyed by North American tourists places our disposible income in the top 1% of the six billion people who inhabit this globe. Flaunting that fact to make others respect you will inevitably backfire.

True. However, some of us travel on the real cheap; waiting for winter fares, eating at grocery stores, etc.

Still, I think you have a good point.

But please remember not everyone in America is rich! It also reminds me of my disgust at people who look down upon those who do not travel. Have you taken a look around America lately if you don't live in a gated community? Many modest families abound.

Very good points, Giselle! You are wise indeed.

robes...

the problem is that "polite and friendly" is not a universal concept. one person's (or culture's) polite is another's rude.

I agree with your second paragraph and I think giselle may be missing the point. "travelling on the cheap" or even not being able to travel to europe (imagine!) does not make one poor as compared to the way most people live in the rest of the world.

Thanks, Grasshopper.

I couldn't resist adding. If you are going to Europe, rather than a developing country, sure many have a lower standard of living BUT many Europeans are richer than you or I. They travel all over Asia and Mexico and Africa, for instance.

Robe, why the sudden need to provide a patronizing lecture?

You really should try to travel more. Europeans have plenty of cash and travel very well and very often. And if you got out more, you might notice that Americans are not the only ones who can act rude and ugly.

I don't think for a minute you posted this thread to be helpful - promoting conflict and displaying a superior attitude seem to be your favorite nasty little game.

Most Americans seem to do pretty well while traveling.

"So says the Mirror...

BRITS are the rudest, worst behaved and least adventurous holidaymakers in the world - and Germans the best.

Tourist offices placed us bottom of 24 countries, a survey said yesterday.

In contrast those sunbed bandits from Germany ranked highest for behaviour and their attempts to speak the local language. Dermot Halpin, boss of online travel service Expedia which conducted the survey, said: "Much as it pains me to say it, the Germans deserve the best sunbeds.

"British holidaymakers are some of the most widely travelled in the world. But that doesn't mean we're good at it." Expedia questioned tourist offices in 17 popular destinations worldwide. Britons were worst for rudeness, followed by Russians and Canadians.

They were also worst for their behaviour, learning the language and enthusiasm to try local delicacies.

Next on the bottom of the list were the Israelis, Irish and Indians. At the top, the Germans were followed by Americans, Japanese, Italians and French.

Americans were the most polite and Italians the most adventurous eaters.

I thought that this was going to be a serious topic.

The best way to "not be ugly", is to respect and embrace the culture of the country that you are visiting.

If we go beyond "polite and friendly", we can learn so much about humanity: why we are so different, and yet so much the same.

" The basic rule is: be friendly and polite, and (most) others will reciprocate."

<i> This basic rule can apply to posting on Fodors and behavior in ones every day life. If one knows how to behave in life, one will bring that behavior with him/her to another country. But as we see from some on these threads, name calling and being ugly is standard behavior, so ugly will always apply to them.</i>

Brava, Scarlett!

Beauty is only skin-deep; uglines to the bone.
Beauty often fades away, but ugliness holds its own.

The standard of living that anyone &quot;enjoys&quot; is not usually readily apparent, except, perhaps, in the clothes one wears. It is the bragging, the lack of understanding, and the condescension that often causes one to &quot;stand out.&quot;

So, taking your post as being ultimately helpful am I to assume that you are speaking from experience?

I have always been a huge fan of World War II escape stories, especially The Great Escape. The most interesting part of the escapes was what the escapees did once they got outside the POW camp. Most of the stories involved British soldiers trying to remain inconspicuous as they worked their way back to the UK. Tiny little mistakes, such as the way they held a cigarette, button placement on a coat or even the way they crossed their legs when sitting might tip of German civilians to the fact that the guy riding on their train was a foreigner.

Having never really grown up I still try to play at this game by doing my darndest to blend in. I rarely talk to my wife in English in public places while in Europe (not that hard to do anyway) and I dress in bland clothing. I stay out of tourist shops (overpriced) and avoid joining tour groups. I've gotten pretty good at it except when a native comes up to me and starts jabbering in the local lingo. All I can do then is smile and say &quot;American&quot;. Then they look disgusted and walk away. Maybe I should say &quot;canadian&quot; next time?

A little old fashioned maybe...but what about the Golden Rule: &quot;Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.&quot;

It really works.

Unless you are into S&amp;M and bondage!!

Zeus, I recall stories of WWII-era German spies who were caught out when they were asked questions about the Brooklyn Dodgers. Who knows, that might be apocryphal.

zeus...instead of just saying &quot;american&quot;

&quot;when a native comes up to me and starts jabbering in the local lingo&quot;

why don't you say &quot;i'm sorry i don't understand &gt;insert language&lt;&quot;. (in the local language, of course).

This takes very little effort to learn.
the problem is not that you are american it is that you are being kind of rude. just responding &quot;Canadian&quot; i suspect would cause the same negative reaction.

by the way, when you are visiting someone else's country, you are the one &quot;jabbering&quot;.

SeaUrchin, Am I dense? I don't get your comment. Please explain.

I'd say to attempt to use the local language. I look at it this way: I run my own store, and if someone came in and started speaking some foreign language, assuming that I know it, I would consider that pretty rude.

While I'm very much afraid that there are indeed Americans who behave offensively or ignorantly not only in Europe but at home, the very idea of this thread rather offends me.

The two sides of the same coin are -- on the American side -- things like the pompous blustering about how much Europeans &quot;owe&quot; the US from WW2 or how snooty, cold, or downright rude the French or the English (or whoever) are, and -- on the European side -- the assumption that Americans are ipso facto offensive and that it is necessary to instruct them on how not to be &quot;so American&quot; = &quot;ugly&quot; in Europe.

It's ungracious no matter which direction it comes from.

And I notice there are no parallel &quot;how to&quot; posts on the US board instructing Europeans on how to behave in the US, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen unpleasant demeanor and, yes, ignorance among European visitors to the US -- who themselves have far more purchasing power in the US than the majority of Americans they pass on the street.