How to convince my parents...

Jan 4th, 2017, 09:09 AM
  #21  
 
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Tulips that is sure to send the parents over the edge
sundriedtopepo is offline  
Jan 4th, 2017, 09:27 AM
  #22  
 
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At 19, I wish I had the opportunity to do what you are contemplating doing. As a parent now, I totally know that there is nothing you can say to persuade them not to worry. That's what they do. I agree with everyone, if you have a solid plan and in it a way of checking in so they can "follow" you and feel better, that is the best you can do. As parents it is hard to let go but let go we have to do at one point. You make the decision, you tell set the plan and show them how you will be communicating with them and go from there. I think the most important part is being sure in yourself and having the confidence to follow through your plan. Research safety tips for solo travel to Europe and make sure you have researched all available hostels - which ones are good and which ones are not so great. What areas to avoid, etc.
I didn't do a solo trip until I was about 23 and even then, it was only 10 days in the deserts of the USA but I learned so much from that trip. I honestly believe it is the base of my confidence and success in life. As I said at the beginning of my post, I wish I had the opportunity to do so at 19. If my kids came to me and asked me to do this, I would encourage them to go. Lucky for me though, I have twin boys so perhaps they could go together.
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Jan 4th, 2017, 09:44 AM
  #23  
 
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Trains are great in France and there is now a system of long-distance buses that are dirt cheap. Anyway for lots of info on French trains check www.voyages-sncf.com; www.seat61.com; www.budgeteuropetravel.com and www.ricksteves.com.

Let's Go France would be a great resource for you -great reviews of hostels and budget hotels. Amazon.com or major bookstores.
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Jan 4th, 2017, 12:26 PM
  #24  
 
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I didn't do a solo trip until I was about 23 and even then, it was only 10 days in the deserts of the USA but I learned so much from that trip. I honestly believe it is the base of my confidence and success in life.>

Exactly - traveling on your own anywhere is a learning experience and traveling abroad even more of one.

I was 20 when I took my first trip abroad - to Europe for six weeks -learned more on that trip about survival skills and adult confidence than I did in all years of college. Your 'gap' year will prepare you to do better when you do return to school and beyond.My parents were afraid of my going along - all are naturally but show this to them and other comments here that traveling in Europe presents absolutely no harmful aspects- danger, etc - as long as you have one ounce of common sense and you'll have a ton of it when you come back.

Hostels are great for meeting other folks your age doing what you're doing though in February they may be full of young school groups too- I would not neglect Paris and hanging out in some of their Bohemian youth hotels that attract your age group and above from all over the world.

Nice is also a great place for that.
PalenQ is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 09:40 AM
  #25  
 
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arrange to keep in touch>

thank god for texting and email - it used to be only letters to the American Express or hostels or Poste Restante or very expensive phone calls - now you can show your parents you are alive and well all the time.

See what it takes to get your phone working in Europe -handy to call ahead for hostels too.
PalenQ is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 09:47 AM
  #26  
 
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I was luckier with my parents. When I was 17, I announced my intention of taking a solo trip to Europe for 3 months (because I had a 3 month Eurail pass, which cost a grand total of $300 1st class back then -- yes, these were prehistoric times). My parents were delighted by my initiative, and they said they would match whatever amount I could save for the trip -- and they did!

Although back then you had to show your passport at every hotel, not a single person ever questioned my age even though I have seen lots of people freaking out on this site about under-18 people traveling alone ("totally forbidden" they all say). Strangely enough, when I moved to Europe permanently at age 20 (by taking the SS Michelangelo from New York to Gibralter to Naples to Cannes -- for $200!), the Italian Line required my parents to sign papers authorizing the trip because I was under the age of 21. At age 17 I went everywhere in Italy with no restrictions...
kerouac is online now  
Jan 5th, 2017, 09:48 AM
  #27  
 
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Needless to say, my parents heard from me by postcard perhaps once a week, and that was fine.
kerouac is online now  
Jan 5th, 2017, 09:52 AM
  #28  
 
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Maybe now if parents don't hear from their kids every day by text at least they worry?

How times have changed/

And yes all parents are different- you were lucky.
PalenQ is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 10:24 AM
  #29  
 
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Yes Pal how times have changed :/

My daughter, who is now 31, is leaving today for 2 months in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City. I must admit to feeling a little nervous, since I've never been to Vietnam yet, so I'm counting on Google+, Instagram and Facetime...I'll get to know Vietnam a little, travelling vicariously.
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Jan 5th, 2017, 10:40 AM
  #30  
 
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Vietnam is no problem, sundriedtopepo. There are no terrorists, only hordes of thieves and snatchers. The foods are terrific. The language is written in Latin alphabet so it's easy to read. In the central market the sellers can speak (commercial) English, French, Chinese, Korean and anything you want. The most dangerous thing is the traffic and, the mosquito.
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Jan 5th, 2017, 10:52 AM
  #31  
 
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Ah thanks for that ff. She has been learning Vietnamese for 2 1/2 years now, so is going for the language immersion. Has had lots of coaching from others who have been there...so hopefully they will be safe.
sundriedtopepo is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 11:27 AM
  #32  
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Wow thanks a lot everyone! I am still feeling a bit guilty of leaving my parents feeling this way about my choices, but all of your comments make feel more confident about this trip!

I do not have any specific goals to achieve in this trip to be honest. However, I have been really confused lately about my choices in life (education mostly), so the reason why I want to go on a trip is because I want to change my mind, take a break of reality and the pressure of society so I can focus more on myself! I believe that being alone for one month will also give me the opportunity to learn more about myself.
jeje977 is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 12:03 PM
  #33  
 
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Words of wisdom, jeje

And don't worry too much, everybody does make some wrong choice at a moment (or many moments) in life. We would probably haven't gotten so many wonderful children on Earth if we hadn't.
FuryFluffy is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 12:03 PM
  #34  
 
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I think that's a perfectly good reason to go. Good luck to you and please do let us know how you get on with your trip! Very excited for you!
maria_so is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 01:35 PM
  #35  
 
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Your parents are certain to be proud of your initiative and your desire to be responsible for yourself.
Sassafrass is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 01:55 PM
  #36  
 
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I believe that being alone for one month will also give me the opportunity to learn more about myself.>

Lucky you speak a kind of fractured peasant French (my French son and his family say) and will be in France. Sometimes when I've been in a country whose language I did not speak I stop and think "Gee I haven't talked (meaningfully) to anyone in days or weeks!
PalenQ is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 01:58 PM
  #37  
 
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Do it and use what you learn on your return. Travel is so valuable and worthwhile and it's harder to take those breaks from reality when you are older, so now is the time. It is one month and you are 19 years old.

Ten years from now, one month will seem like a very short time span (because it really is). What you learn will stay with you for a lifetime.

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” ~Golda Meir
denisea is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 02:42 PM
  #38  
 
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Ok.

Let us imagine I'm your father. Not that hard for me my daughter is 18. So let me tell - you asked - how I could see it.

You tell me you drop from college. Humpf. My reaction is : he/she is 19, have not done anything of his/her life and drops school. NBot good but passons.

Btw : 19 = ? college is not university is it ? do you have a diploma that allows you to neter university or are you for the momemnt 'nowhere' as far as educational system is concerned ?

Second : you say you want to go to France, I was thinking, 'Ah good he'll learn something, language at lest'.
Seems not. Seems you just go for the fun. Is there a project ? Do you do something that will help you get better chance once you restart your studies ?

Third : you finance yourself - humpf. Means when you come back you also work to pay for your studies or you just saved some money and spend it on a trip ?

Fourth : I am worried about your safety in France. (see I'm your father already) so... am I worried about France or about you ? My neighbour had to come and repatriate his child who had smoked too much and had been intered after a meltdown.

If I were you, I'd ask myself how to convince my parents via a real project that shows them you know (roughly) where you are and what actions you take to put you in a better position for a new start.

If all you do is just run away for one month of binge drinking... I would not feel safe.

En gros ce serait bien que tu leur montres que tu n'as pas juste envie de glander (encore) un mois en clquant ton pognon.
WoinParis is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 06:12 PM
  #39  
 
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In US and Canada college is university. I now that in europe college has a different mean ing but in the US and Canada kids usually graduate from high school at 17 or 18 and enter college (Bachelor's degree only) or universities (also MA and PHDs and special graduate schools) for 4 years or more.

And "college" is the usual term even if one is attending a place officially named a university. I would never think of saying I went to university although that's what it was - including medical, nursing, dental and law schools as well as liberal art, fine arts, sciences and engineering. And often it's just called "school" - as in what school did you go to (meaning college or university). I have cousins who went to Harvard to said they went to "school" there.
nytraveler is offline  
Jan 5th, 2017, 06:41 PM
  #40  
 
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>>Let's face it, at 19, this means you will be taking money from someone else. No way can someone who just dropped out of college fund a trip to Europe . . .<<

>>Surprisingly, the OP claims the parents don't care about the money expense, etc., but the danger. I wouldn't allow a child to just drop out of college becuase they didn't like iot and then spend my money on a month long vacation.<<

Ignore Christina. She is our resident Debbie Downer

>>I've never seeen a single 19 year old who was funding their own life<< . . . and she doesn't get around much

With your new posts/information the south of France does make sense.

You could spend a few days somewhere like Perpigan or Narbonne and be very close to Barcelona so you could fit in a quick visit into Spain. And then Some time in Nice and/or Marseille and some other town.

Skype contact with your parents a couple of times a week will be good -- for all of you.
janisj is offline  

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