Dori

I know it shouldn't make a bit of difference what other people think, but it really annoys me when people make ignorant statements about my choice of travel. For example, I'm planning a trip this March to India. I haven't told anyone yet because I just know the rude looks and comments I will get from other people. Just a few minutes ago, my boss and several workers were discussing "how could anyone ever want to visit places like Africa or India. What is wrong with these people."

For the record, I hate when people talk like travel snobs. I always defend people who want to do tours, Disney World, all-inclusives. They're not for me, but I would never insult someone else's choice. I get very excited about my travels and would like for people to at least keep their mouths shut if they have nothing nice to say. How do you respond to people without making such a big deal out of it. Obviously, I'm not going to "enlighten" or change anyone's mind. Any suggestions?

cigalechanta

Dori, just let it fly pass you. You want your trip to be your own and not a version of someone elses. I have a few on-line friends in India if you need any help.

Robespierre

I usually respond, "Did you have a particularly disagreeable experience there?"

When they acknowledge that they've never been east of Peoria, I merely say, "Oh." And walk away.

cheryllj

I ignore them. They're idiots.

It's the same response I give to the people who say things like, "I wish I could afford to travel to Europe," in a semi-accusatory tone . . . when they own a car that costs twice (or three times) as much as mine and talk endlessly about shopping and eating out all the time. I ignore them. They're idiots.

I would love to go to Africa and India -- I don't understand people who have no desire to see the rest of the world and learn about other cultures. (Which unfortunately seems to apply to more than half of US citizens, who don't even have a passport.)

Patrick

I know what you mean. I just ignore them or say "why can't you be happy for me doing what I enjoy?" It took a lot of lip biting to keep my mouth shut for the last couple of years when people said, "how in the world can you go to France with the way they hate us." I usually replied, "well, obviously they don't hate us as much as you must hate them," and then let it pass.

P_M

I get that from time to time, usually from people who have never been anywhere. I ask if they've been there. When they tell me they haven't, I tell them that I make it a rule never to criticize a place I've never been. Now if they have been to that place and tell me it's no good, I would be interested to hear why. I'm not saying I would cancel, but I would listen to their opinion, then ask the Fodor board.

cheryllj

I take back my answer -- I like Robespierre's response!

It's always interesting to me that many people who have never been anywhere still are able to form opinions about places they like and don't like without ever visiting the place.

TopMan

Unfortunately, it happens HERE a lot (more than it should) such as people asking about one city and then MR. Know-It-All chimes in with "Why don't you go to Paris?" when the original poster was asking about Croatia.

Ignore the remarks and consider the source. The fact that they haven't been many places probably contributes to their overall ignorance and lack of self-esteem.

degas

I usual smile and walk away only to wait until it gets dark so I can put lots of roofing nails under thier car.

I dare they slam me for going to Bulgaria and Liverpool!

Leely

Dori-

It happened to me quite a lot while I was planning my trip to Africa. I didn't know what to say when people said "Africa? Oh, I would NEVER want to go there."

So I didn't say anything. Just secretly seethed. Went and had the most amazing experience of my life.

You are so lucky to be going to India. Ignore those fools.

maxie

Some of those comments come from idiots, but I think jealously feeds a lot of those remarks. They're also the ones who never ask about your trip when you return. I enjoy traveling and I couldn't care less what other people think of my travel destinations. My ex-boss used to be one of those people, it killed her to have to ask about my trips.

dovima

I've had comments directed my way of the like you describe, and each and every time it's been from non-travelers. True fellow travelers, even if they have no interest in your particular destination, will take an interest in your desire to go there.

Here's a whopper - The last time I was going to Japan (2201), I mentioned that I would be traveling mostly in the south and be spending a few days in Nagasaki. Nagasaki! said the person I was speaking to - "YOU MEAN THEY BUILT BACK UP AGAIN? AFTER THE BOMB?" Gawd, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Dori, hold your head up. You're a citizen of the world, my friend.

WillTravel

I've told hardly anyone about my solo trip to Italy plans for this winter. However, my husband has been telling all the neighbors that he sees while walking the dog. The response tends to be sheer horror at this concept of a lone female going to Italy. He might be accentuating it, because he makes sure to include statements like, "My wife is running off to Italy to stay in a convent."

dovima

Sorry - 2001 NOT 2201 is when I went to Japan. I'd like to time-travel, but didn't do it that time!

mari5

My first response was that I'm not too fond of people who call other people "idiots",,but notice that cheryllj "took it back"

I think the reponse of Robespierre is WONDERFUL...and well worth remembering.!!!!!...as it is worded in a kind and not offensive way....however very poignant.

IT IS strange that people make remarks when they don't know what they are talking about and have usually NOT been to the location.

suze

Dori~ My first impulse includes only rude replies, which I won't bother to post as they aren't that clever & you could think of your own if you wanted to!

As mentioned above, people making ugly generalizations have rarely been to the place they are insulting. But that might make a good response, "Oh have you visited there, I would love to hear about your trip" or something like that.

But when they say or truly mean "Why would anyone want to go there?" that's one of those questions if you can't figure out the answer (adventure, intensity, foreign culture, smells, sounds, sites) - even your best explanation will probably not sink in.

Christina

I think your problems with your boss and coworkers must go beyond travel, if that's the kind of people they are and the kind of things they say. They sound very negative to me. I think it is a little simplistic to say such people are jealous of what you are doing, as I don't think they often are at all in the sense that they'd want to do that. I think they are probably just people who don't travel much and probably not abroad.

None of the people I work with would say something like that, which is why I think this is the kind of people they are in a lot of ways.

For the record, I have no interest in going to India either, and am not jealous of you for that (because I could if I wanted)--although I would like to go to parts of Africa and have already. However, I wouldn't question someone else's desire to do so or say "how can they do such and such."

I think you are still too wrapped up in what other people think about you and your coworkers. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with these people, but many of my coworkers are just office acquaintances and I really don't care at all what they think about me and my personal plans. In fact, we are all usually busy working and not sitting around discussing and criticizing others' purchases. I think you need to figure out why you care so much about what these people think. Even if some people I didn't know well said something about my vacation, I truly would not care at all and would not need to try to think of clever answers or ask others how I should feel nor spend time thinking of how I can enlighten or change them. Stop talking to them about your vacations since you obviously don't like each other and aren't friends.

Infotrack

I just can't understand ANYONE who would ever want to go to India of all places. Are you out of your mind??
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JUST KIDDING! Don't get your underwear in a knot!

Actually, I have never been to India, and don't really have a desire to go there (so many other places I do want to go to), but I admire your spirit and sense of adventure for deciding to go there. Best of wishes.

--Marv

degas

OMG, India? Cobras under every bed, people worshipping rats and cattle running wild in the streets! What were you thinking?

Seriously, bosses and co-workers come and go. Don't let them slow you down. Go for it.

Grasshopper

Good for you, Dori! I wish I had the nerve to go to India. You might want to read Out of India by Ruth Jhavbala. Very interesting. Maybe I'll get there soon.