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Hotel in "gay" area for honeymoon? Is that a problem??

Hotel in "gay" area for honeymoon? Is that a problem??

Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 05:59 AM
  #41  
Whit
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Oh, puhleese, give it a rest. If Kate has any attitude, it would be more than merited by straights who want gays to be gay somewhere else, where they can't see it. As to racially mixed or any other kind of couple, the issue seems to be that you and others don't want to see physical signs of sexuality. That's cultural. Some people aren't bothered, some people are, and there are all kinds of cultural explanations for it (every term from "puritanism" to "libertarianism" to "hedonism" can be applied, depending on where you begin).

Kate's comment about people defining gays by their sexuality is very pertinent. When you look at a straight couple, I seriously doubt that you immediately envision them in bed together "doing things" to each other. So why go to the trouble when you see a gay couple? If who you are isn't primarily that you are -- first of all before your profession or character -- hetereosexual, then why should the sexuality of another person (much LESS a hotel) who is gay be the first and only thing you see in them?

Of course, if your sexual preference IS the primary, defining thing about you, then of course you are going to approach other people pretty much only on that basis. Is this why men are far more homophobic that women? Are they defining themselves entirely by their gonads?
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:03 AM
  #42  
Bruce
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Above someone suggests that there is no such thing as a "straight" hotel. As a gay couple we have several times had confirmed reservations at hotels, arrived, and when they see we are two men (professionals and not flamboyant) been told that there is a problem. The rooms only have one bed. When we say that is OK, they have told us either that they cannot rent to us, or that there is a mistake and they are filled after all. If that's not a "straight" hotel, I don't know what is. We do not seek out "gay" hotels. Our sexual preference has nothing in the world to do with how we travel, and certainly see no reason to seek out an all gay establishment to stay in when we travel. We have never kissed on the street or in the shadow of the Eiffel tower at night, but there have been times we would have liked to. It's the knowledge that there are so many people out there who would regard that as disgusting as "urinating", that prevents us from doing what straight couples are able to do all the time.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:12 AM
  #43  
Elaine
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Geez, people! She probably just wanted to know if there were loud, rowdy gay bars all around, sex shops catering to gays, gay porn theaters, etc. IMO, I'd never want to stay in such an area especially on my honeymoon! Same goes for the same catering to straights or whoever.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:18 AM
  #44  
Elaine
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In response to Whit before he attacks my post, my preference to NOT stay near sex shops, etc, has nothing do to with my being comfortable or not with 'sex' in general. It has to do with the seedy types, perverts, etc, hanging around. And PLEASE don't tell me that these type people don't hang around sex shops, peep shows, etc. They do, that's a fact, and I don't them staring at me as I walk to my hotel.
You know, it could also be that Kristin has never been in a 'gay area' and doesn't know what to expect. Maybe she thinks they wouldn't be welcome or something.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:21 AM
  #45  
Tony Hughes
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nowhere did i say urinating was disgusting (i do it all the time), i said i didnt want to see it on the streets.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:33 AM
  #46  
Yikes
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Hey Tony:
Let it go will you??
Just answer the questions and give the insight I used to respect you for.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:39 AM
  #47  
Bruce
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Excuse me, Tony, but you did compare seeing men kissing on the streets to urinating in the streets. I guess I don't see the comparison or your point to defend yourself. Are you equally offended by a man and woman kissing on the Pont Neuf at night as you are seeing two men doing so? If not, then you are indeed guilty of being a homophope. Yes, it really is that simple.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:40 AM
  #48  
Tony Hughes
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Opinions are what makes the world different from SimCity, be they good or bad. I'm a realist, I'm not hiding my head in the sand, too scared to say anything that may upset someone. Remember I dont have to respect something (such as gay) because people tell me its the right thing to do.

And as for respect, well that comes and it very certainly goes too. I'll cope.

 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 06:42 AM
  #49  
Ross
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I was the first one to respond to Kristin's post. I was suprised to see how many responses there were to this post when I logged-on this morning. Unfortunately, several of them were due to homophobia. On the other hand, I have to say that I was quite pleased to hear all of the positive comments and attitudes towards the gay community. I myself am gay. And you know what folks? It only constitutes one part of who I am. I am proud of all the things that make up the person that I am. I don't flaunt anything. I don't wave a flag about anything. If people don't like me for ANY reason, let them keep on walkin'. Ghettos exist for a reason. It started out of hatred, as with the Jewish ghettos. By the way,I'm a DOUBLE minority member. I'm Jewish as well. Nowadays, people tend to congregate in <<ghettos>> to be around others similar to themselves. One must understand that society as a whole has made it very difficult for gays to live their lives as any heterosexual person would find it <<normal>> to do so. If anyone feels <<uncomfortable>> being around gays or any group for that matter, please stay away. I think it would be a good thing for those people to ask themselves why they feel that way, and bear in mind that EVERYONE has the right to be happy.

Ross.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 09:25 AM
  #50  
joern
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Tony - please share with us your fantasies about what goes on at "gay oriented" hotels?
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 11:21 AM
  #51  
Capo
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There area also folks who don't like seeing *straight* people kiss in public either. And y'know, I don't understand that either. I guess I just don't understand the problem people have with public displays of affection.

Joni Mitchell sings "In France, they kiss on Main Street" and that, in fact, one of the things I LOVE about Paris, that when you kiss the person you love people don't snicker or yell "get a room" like it seems they tend to do in the U.S. On our first night in Paris two Septembers ago, my girlfriend & I walked out onto the Pont des Arts and joined the countless couples who were embracing and kissing. (I think -- gasp! oh the horror! -- there may have even been some gay & lesbian couples kissing.)
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 11:44 AM
  #52  
Bob
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We have gotten away from the question. We all have our comfort levels. We have stayed in a B&B and been the only non gays. Sorry but I felt like a fish out of water. We also don't enjoy 5 star hotels (too fancy). This doesn't put down those who like fancy hotels, but states what we enjoy and are comfortable with. If a gay man asked about a gay friendly hotel we don't ask him if he doesn't like non-gays.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 12:10 PM
  #53  
nancy
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Wow, gone all day, took the kids to a science museum, and look at all that has gone on!
Tony,
I know I did not call you homophobic, and I do not think I impied any such thing either.
My whole point is that gay couples are no more likely to engage in public displays of affection that straight ones, and that the reason why gay hotels, etc exist is not so there is a place for unbridled sex, etc, but for the reason that Bruce mentioned in his post; being refused a room or made uncomfortable.
Bruce, sorry about your experiences.
Horrible isn't it.
the best thing I am doing for my children and with my children, is raising them to know that there is nothing different or wrong woith persons who are "gay"
Who one loves is personal, and should matter to no one, but the 2 who are involved.
Sad that people discriminate with color, religion, and sexual preference.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 12:51 PM
  #54  
Anon
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Interesting thread, which has kind of taken on a life of its own! Glad to see many here who support peoples' right to live their lives as they see fit. And sorry to see the (always vehement) few who do not.

But I wanted to point out that most gays do not consider their sexuality a "preference"; rather it is the way they were born. Gays usually speak in terms of sexual "orientation", which makes more sense and addresses the fact that being gay is not simply a "lifestyle" choice.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 01:15 PM
  #55  
Capo
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I realize that just because people don't like to see public displays of affection, including kissing, by either gay *or* straight people, doesn't necessarily make them "anti-gay", or "anti-straight."

What I'm curious about is WHY people who don't like public displays of affection (by either gays or straights) don't like them? Anyone who doesn't like PDAs willing to give your reason(s)?
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 01:24 PM
  #56  
Tony Hughes
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Ross, ghettos exist for many reasons.

The politically correct brigade jump on any bandwagon that goes past their house. For the people offended: Basically your point that I'm some sort of raving homophobe is let down by the fact that you assume that I am one thing or another, homophobe or pro-gay when in fact I'm neither. I'm disinterested (not UNinterested) in gay stuff but you're attempting to place me in one of the two camps so to speak, when really I'm in neither.

With your logic if I walk past a gay bar to get to a non-gay bay I'm a homophobe. If I dont watch Ellen or switch off when it comes on I'm a homophobe. Essentially if I dont embrace gay the concept totally, then I must be against it, yes? Nonsense.

Joern - I've no idea, probably not much different from any other hotels but I'm not about to find out. Again doesnt mean I'm a homophobe.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 01:36 PM
  #57  
joern
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I suppose Tony you see nothing wrong with the hotels in Miami that use to only allow gentiles - white gentiles to be specific back as late as the fifties. You discriminate Tony based on a characteristic. You're partially not to blame because you've been raised in a white male (supposedly heterosexual) dominated society - you've enjoyed the benefits of the position you were born into. Unfortunately women, blacks, asians, hispanics, gays, lesbian have had to suffer due to the your oppresive attitude. Educate yourself Tony - you're a bigot.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 01:55 PM
  #58  
TOO-PC
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The PC brigade is really carrying on. Kristin has a right to her comfort level; this isn't a condemnation of others lives, it's only qa question of what will make her and her new hubby feel comfortable. Since she has no knowledge of the area, it strikes me that she's asking for a perfectly reasonable response on what the problem for the 2 of them.
Heck, if she's concerned that they'll feel like outsiders, it's a perfectly reasonable question-- though many on this board are responding to her question as if she's made an attack on gays.

I find the moral righteousness more offensive than her question.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 02:31 PM
  #59  
Ellen
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Hmm. I live in NYC. The melting pot. Been here a long time. PDA's used to make me uncomfortable, probably because I am shy about that sort of stuff & don't do it myself. A kiss, hand holding, no problem. But if a couple (any kind of couple) is really going at it, I have to walk the other way. Way to personal for me to be privy to. But, after 15 years in NYC, nothing phases me anymore. Think I've seen it all. Krisin, it is really just about what you are used to seeing. If you have not spent time in a gay community, yes, you may be uncomfortable. But, like anything else, you will get just as used to seeing gay couples being affectionate as you do straight couples. After a while, you won't think twice about it. And yes, you can look. If they catch you just smile. I think you will get a one back.
 
Old Feb 22nd, 2001, 02:54 PM
  #60  
Capo
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Thanks for your comment about PDAs, Ellen, I appreciate it. I guess I think of PDAs as relatively "benign" things like hand-holding, embracing, and kissing. I'm not sure I'd really care to see people actually having sex in a public place, but I actually really enjoy seeing people express affection for each other publicly. To me, there's not enough affection in the world, rather than too much.
 

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