Hiding vacation travel from coworkers, anyone done it?
 

I am surrounded by coworkers and managers who are bad with money so never have any, the Suze Orman crowd. Running a credit card balance, eating out lunch every day, rotating through car leases so never owning and never enjoying years of no payments, and thinking that there are only are 3 possible family vacations: the $8000 one week Disneyworld trip, the $8000 one week cruise, and of course the $8000 one week Disney cruise. And yes, they really think that because I was once challenged by a coworker on being a moneybags for taking a camping trip to Colorado that she thought must have cost $5000 when it was actually closer to $1000.

Anyway, last summer we did a 23 day UK/France family trip which, with aggressive cost planning and staying mostly in rentals with kitchens, kept the cost to $4000/week including airfares, reasonable for 5 people. So we decided to go again this summer, this time DK/Italy with a bit of Germany.

The Europe trip last summer was not well received by coworkers. Europe is not safe (?), France is anti-American (?), why did you go (?), but mostly, where did you get the money? With an $8000/week vacation mentality they think it must have cost a fortune, when the real cost was pretty close to the annual cost of 2 car payments.

So thinking of just lying and saying-- what? Working on finishing the basement? Camping in Colorado? Visiting the in-laws? Or should I not hide it, and take the sideways looks and perhaps diminished career options? The lie might slip out at some point and be impossible to explain.

We like to visit places that most others do not visit. I was discussing a trip with a co-worker where we went to Auschwitz, and a third person said, "Why don't you go a beach, go dancing, get drunk, and get laid like the rest of us."

i do not know the culture at your work and the problems being different presents, but it some places it can be powerful and others harmful.

Apparently travel has become a really important way for many people invest getting to feel superior to other people. What is that credit card ad? Priceless?

Looks like you feel really much more superior for not going to Disneyworld, or eating lunch out or whatever. Maybe your co-workers are reacting to an attitude you radiate that your way of living in spending money on travel is better than theirs, and you like to boast about it.

By and large, most people are not interested in hearing about other people's vacations, even the ones that the people who took them think are very improving. So I don't think switching jobs will solve your problem. Maybe just finding things to talk about that interest other people would be the better approach.

no, I don't, I work in a small place and vacation time is posted publicly. Not where you went, of course, but people ask and I mention. I've never worked in a place such as those described here on this and other threads with so many nasty people. I've worked in a lot of places, also, so I just wonder about some of these threads I read, if it's just certain kinds of jobs/companies or part of the country or what.

Especially the money thing -- I don't discuss money with coworkers, we all get paid well and if someone was bad with money, I would have no idea. How could one know if coworkers were bad with money.

What kind of place do you work tom with so many people who act this way and who all know each other's money business and make insulting remarks to people and ask nosy questions?

Everyone ua different idea of how to spend their free time. For some it is a week baking on a beach, for others a cruise with stacks of entertainment and the occasional stop somewhere vaguely interesting. Others want to camp in the wilderness, or do a long road trip or spend their time in museums.
I can't see why you would hide your holiday choice if asked, but then again I don't think you should make a big thing of it either.
If asked how you can afford it either say by budgeting for it, of the smartarse response of that's for me to know and for you to wonder.
You should be a bit more accepting of the lifestyle choices of others, then perhaps they will be more accepting of yours.

The fact that you give a toss about what your co-workers may, or may not think, says far more about you than it does about them. Lose the superior, judgemental attitude and you might find that they may be nicer to you. How can you possibly know how good or bad they are with money?

I just googled "Suze Orman" and after reading her wiki entry know no more than then I started. But, my dear, don't touch any more botox or go any closer to the sun bed ....

How do you get by with so little holiday? What on earth is a one week holiday (surely that is just a long weekend)? A holiday needs to be at least 10 days long and preferably 14 to 30 days.

Never hidden where I go on holiday. Never been to Disney anything. I have drunk Pepsi once and never Coke. Found Syria, Libya, Egypt perfectly pleasant (at the time). Who is really that stupid to think France is anti-American? (it is pro-France) Generally I find that people expect odd things from me and are not confused when I satisfy their expectations.

I have no problem if people feel themselves either superior or inferior to others, after all it's your mind you do what you want with it. Yes chatting about money in Europe is considered a little odd if not rude. I was taught don't discuss politics,religion or money in public.

So don't hide where you go, but don't discuss how much you spent.

Geez, talk about judgmental attitudes!

I have always been the odd one out, wherever I work, in that nobody traveled to Europe as much as I did. A long time ago, someone (who could afford to travel to Europe) said "why go" because they speak a different language there. I do care what my co-workers think. I don't want them to think we're money-bags, but don't need to get into an analysis of how much their vacation cost vs. mine (probably similar amounts of money).

As a result, I tend to not share my travel destinations at work - I don't hide it, but I don't talk about it much (except to friends who like to travel too). At my last place of employment, my boss was amazed that we go to Europe each year, and teased me about it. But he's also adult enough to understand that our circumstances are different. (He has a stay-at-home wife, 2 teens nearing the college years, nice car and a beautiful expensive house. We are a working couple, also with 2 teens, aging cars, and still live in the same moderate house that was our first house.) Nobody's asked me how we afford it, but if they did, as other posters have indicated, I would note that we are thrifty in other areas of our lives to be able to afford the travel.

Where I work now (an airline), I do enjoy the travel culture - people are always jetting off for a weekend somewhere or the other. Not that it's why I work here now, but I do like that.

The work environment is not the best, however I am not up to another change in workplaces. They all have their shortcomings.

It is naive to post that choosing to not fit in at work is a decision without consequences. I have the luxury of not caring what a person on my bus thinks, not so much at work.

We all have a pretty good idea at work of each other's debt situation, I thought that was pretty normal? Isn't debt bonding an international phenomenon?

"Isn't debt bonding an international phenomenon"
no, the fascination with money is, in many ways, an American cultural issue. I don't even know how much my siblings have or not.

I thought this was going to be about worrying that people would think you were taking too much time off, or coming back and finding they didn't need you any more.

Never heard of "debt bonding", but a lot of Americans are fixated on money and jobs (I am a dual UK-US national and it's one of the differences I noticed).

I try staying mum about it. I have friends putting kids through college in and out of work and always get the poor me talk. I just talk about it with coworkers that travel.

What does the "annual cost of two car payments" mean?

Must say when I worked all those years at the airport there was no getting around it but most of us traveled. Many people do vacation around family visits. We are childless and orphans so do our own thing.

Frankly, I don't blame the OP for hiding his travel from coworkers.

http://www.fodors.com/community/euro...m#last-comment

I suspect Europeans have far more privacy in general and respect for privacy, in the US it's the Oprah-inspired let's share everything: no secrets, no boundaries.

Several helpful replies, I see I am not the only one with this issue. Probably best to keep quiet and try not to mention it, but I know as soon as the request goes in out will come the "Where are you going this time" comments.

I'll never win the war over whether travel is seen as an expensive luxury so can't try.

I guess I do feel superior about having stretched not so much income so far, never really thought about it that way. But I am not the one making comments to other people's faces about how they spend their money, I want privacy.

Annual cost of two car payments: If paying $500/month on two cars, that's $12,000 per year, enough for a nice Europe trip. Basically choosing to keep older cars paid for and using the money for a trip.

Actually, it was coworkers who inspired me to travel and gave me the confidence to realize I could do it on my own.

I don't volunteer the info and I keep the info to minimum when asked. Too many loose lips around broadcasting to the world about our absence from home. If I say I am going to Annecy, most don't bother to ask more questions.

elberko: :)

That is what I was thinking - >)

outwest: Canada is another universe altogether when it comes to travel culture.

Decided for now to be coy and just say that we don't have any plans yet.

As to the extra person in a hotel room topic link which is occassionally reposted, it doesn't embarrass me in the least (is it supposed to?). Other posters in it were hysterical and ridiculous, although it has now been heavily edited. And in the end we got 2 rooms or rental lodging anyway, and yes, partly because of suggestions written in it.

To the OP: do you think anybody at your workplace actually CARES about whether you travel or not?

Generally I find that people expect odd things from me and are not confused when I satisfy their expectations.>>

lol, bilbo, the great British eccentric is alive and well and living in Fodorville. [or should that be Yorkshire?]

People often ask where I am going. I typically go to far-flung places, whereas many of my coworkers stay in-state or in the US. I don't bring it up, but if they ask, I answer truthfully. I don't go into details, unless asked.

There are some misconceptions around cost, which I try and stop. Someone asked what airline I took to India- Emirates. "Oh WOW you really went all out" "No, they were the cheapest option, also the most direct"

Many of my coworkers are married with young kids. I am single. Whenever they get rude (which some do!) about how much my vacation "must" have cost, I politely say "I don't have to pay for school/camp/whatever for my kids yet, so I'm taking advantage while I can!" This usually keeps them quiet, they just don't know I never plan on having kids, because I love traveling too much!

I don't know how much debt anyone at my office has though. Some people have mentioned that they HAVE student loans, but no figures/timelines, how odd. I don't know why anyone with debt would be going on an $8k week vacation.

Yes, I 'have' hidden a vacation from co-workers (but only when I traveled to Europe to recover from surgery). LOL. True.

I should have clarified that the $8000 vacation is just a once in a lifetime deal, then maybe pay it off over the next several years, not a recurring thing.

I know the amounts of my manager's 3 monthly mortgage payments (primary, second, & third mortgage) which I guess is quite abnormal. Never really thought about that way.

Dukey: Petty sniping is a big part of the workplace, have you been luckier than me? Many people here are monitoring coworkers activities, esp fancy cars or vacations.

Also have answered the phone at work and it's been collection agencies calling for someone.

Here's a good one for you! Youngest DS (12) was sad-faced and mopey last week. I asked him if he needed to talk about anything and he said he felt weird because we didn't go to the beach every year for vacation. All his friends head to Florida for a week in the summer and just go to the beach and he wanted to be "normal" like them. He says he is a freak because we go to Europe or on a cruise. I was stumped for a moment for sure. Then I asked if he enjoyed Europe and the experiences he has been fortunate to have. A tentative yes but he still wanted to be like his friends. I asked if he would rather stay home because I was going to Europe but if he didn't want to he was welcome to stay with his aunt. He can't sleep well there and was horrified that I would leave my child at home (his words) so he said he would just go. So, off to Europe next year we will be :)

I don't always mention our vacation plans to coworkers and friends because some of them just don't understand our priorities or do express some jealousy. We have been fortunate to have had steady employment and good health and have (mostly) made good investments. We don't have fancy cars or designer clothes. Rather than buy Christmas or birthday gifts for each other, we put the money into our travel fund. We don't use our vacation time in small amounts but save up the hours so we can take two or three weeks at a time.

tom_mn, I also used to have a coworker that collection agencies were always calling. He'd always ask us to say he wasn't there, which was awkward.

I wouldn't recommend lying about my plans but wouldn't advertise them, either.