UGH! Nina, I am so sorry you had such a miserable flight..
I remember a thread not too long ago, where posters complained about sitting near the bathrooms and having people standing near them ( butts next to heads kind of thing) ...your experience would have had those posters weeping and wailing for sure!

I agree with Anselme Adorne, they knew this before they took off, they do owe you.

What about writing to the Ombudsperson at Conde Nast Traveler magazine?

I think some refunded miles is only fair and hope you get a full round considering you paid for an upgradable fare.

My 2 cents: I'd take the cash...and for what it's worth, I've been 1k on United for years and still feel like just a "global services" wannabe. To the crappily-paid CSA on the other end of the line, you are just another complainer to be dealt with...none of the domestic carriers do customer service well in the aggregate; you have to get lucky with an individual rep at the counter, usually. Is there any way you can go to a United counter in person and be charming to whoever is the supervisor there? I know bigger cities have United offices off-airport...

See what a happy flier I am!

Good luck with however it turns out.