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Help! My teenager does not want to go on a booked trip!

Help! My teenager does not want to go on a booked trip!

Oct 21st, 2002, 09:43 AM
  #21  
Jette
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Eighteen responses and all agree. That must be some kind of Fodors record!
A 16 year old boy does not call the shots. He'll realize it one day and thank you for taking him.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 09:45 AM
  #22  
crusty
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I'm still tick off that I didn't go to the petting zoo when I was five years old...
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 09:52 AM
  #23  
I
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Teach this kid some responsibility and tell him he is going. Too many parents try to be their kids friend rather than parent. Bad lesson to teach.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 10:04 AM
  #24  
figaro
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I, too, agree that the 16 year old must go and I agree with all the other posters that he has a commitment to his family ... which comes first.

Is this new girlfriend pressuring him to stay behind?

 
Oct 21st, 2002, 10:13 AM
  #25  
hmm
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The original poster is either a troll or an imbecile. The son doesn't want to go, b/c he and his girlfried will have the house to themselves while his parents are gone. Sounds a little like Risky Business.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:18 AM
  #26  
not a Mom
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Hang on here~~ I can't believe you are all in agreement that forcing a 16 year old to go on a trip to Europe that he does not wish to take is a good idea!! In a short 2 years he will be of legal age. Let him begin to grow up now. Isn't there another family friend if not a relation who would put him up for the couple weeks?
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:25 AM
  #27  
I
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You are not a mom,You have no clue about bringing children up right.If and when you have kids,you will understand. My kids dont want to go to school everyday,should I let them stay home?
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:44 AM
  #28  
sincere
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I will not rag on you because you are not a parent, because I don’t necessarily think that you have to actually experience childbirth to have great ideas. However, I will say that it’s not a good idea to indulge children. He’s being unreasonable which is how children usually behave….so that’s ok…he’ll get over it. Children who are catered to usually grow up to be the insufferable slobs that we have the misfortune of having to deal with when they become adults. Parents must not abrogate their responsibilities….the trip is paid for….sonny boy has to go.

My parents made it crystal clear that our family was not a democracy. We didn’t get a vote. It was a co-dictatorship and we were expected to follow the rules…period. It made me more responsible and respectful to others. My parents also made it known that if ever I felt that I did not have to follow their rules I should make sure that I had someplace else to live. There was never any doubt as to who had the final say in my house! lol
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:47 AM
  #29  
xxx
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My 13 yr. old didn't want to join us to Paris either. He wanted to see Greenland and Iceland instead-no way. You are the parents, that's the fact. You make the decision. You cannot change your plans just for your son. By the way, our son enjoyed himself. It's the age, they think they know everything.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:48 AM
  #30  
Mark
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There is no question that one of the previous posters is not a parent. He's going to be 18 years old in two years so let him learn now? What kind of rubbish is that? Obviously he can't be an adult because 1) his parents haven't disciplined him because if they did, this problem wouldn't have arisen and we wouldn't feel inclined to respond; and 2) if they had disciplined him, then he would have respected his parents from the outset and/or his parents would have been able to leave him alone in the house without problems since he would have been mature enough in the first place. That leads to the correct answer: The mother AND the father need to pull themselves together and explain resolutely they are a family and he is going on the trip and that there is no other alternative. Gfriend will stay behind and deal with her family! The mother is afraid the kid will make things miserable for his family overseas so "Oh my we can't hurt his feelings because he'll get upset and ruin the vacation!" What kind of parental response is that? The kid needs to be put in his place. No question. Play your card any longer and it'll get worse. He's already controlling you. Tell me: do you make him eat all his greens or does he grin and scowl and refuse to eat them only to be in the kitchen 30 minutes later with his hand in the Fritos?
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:59 AM
  #31  
hegoes
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Not a mom, I figured you'd get a lot of flak, and rightly so. If living up to ones commitments is not growing up than I don't know what is. This soon-to-be adult has made a promise of sorts to his family and should be held accountable.
My son, now 24, pulled similar stunts when he was 16. He aways thanked us for insisting he come with us and his romantic interests have been numerous since then. His family trips, on the other hand, are forever.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:13 PM
  #32  
Jean
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Well, as the mother of 2 sons & step mother to 3, let me tell you...he should go to Paris, and later he WILL thank you for it.

Girlfriends will be many, but there may be only one chance to go to Paris with your family.

He can e-mail her--cyber cafes are all over the place.

 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:15 PM
  #33  
Fuzzbucket
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Perhaps instead of spending his share of the money on a trip he doesn’t want to take, instead you could use it for tuition to a good boarding school or military school or some other place where surrogates could actually perform as parents since you obviously lackthe intestinal fortitude to do so. Whether or not this was a troll it is still representative of about how 80% of American kids control their parents. Too, too sad.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:23 PM
  #34  
sincere
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I will not rag on you because you are not a parent, because I don’t necessarily think that you have to actually experience childbirth to have great ideas. However, I will say that it’s not a good idea to indulge children. He’s being unreasonable which is how children usually behave….so that’s ok…he’ll get over it. Children who are catered to usually grow up to be the insufferable slobs that we have the misfortune of having to deal with when they become adults. Parents must not abrogate their responsibilities….the trip is paid for….sonny boy has to go.

My parents made it crystal clear that our family was not a democracy. We didn’t get a vote. It was a co-dictatorship and we were expected to follow the rules…period. It made me more responsible and respectful to others. My parents also made it known that if ever I felt that I did not have to follow their rules I should make sure that I had someplace else to live. There was never any doubt as to who had the final say in my house! lol
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:24 PM
  #35  
I
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I don't get it! why do parents allow themselves to be ruled by the children. Maybe all the parents that would make the kid go are the real "Loving moms".This kid needs to read "The Greatest Generation".
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:38 PM
  #36  
norm
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16yrs? Yeah, our daughter pulled the same thing. She came anyway but we had to put up with "this is dumb, boring, retarded, etc" all during the trip. Unfortunately this is your predicament now.
Next year we knew she will pull this on us again, so we made a deal she can come with us, but if she pulled this again, she had to pay for all the money lost or she can stay but have to make a supervision arrangement herself that is acceptable to us.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 12:56 PM
  #37  
This is
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My niece did the same thing. We let her read a few of the travel books and select things she would also like to do and she went along.
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 01:03 PM
  #38  
Nadia
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Tell him he's fortunate to be able to go on this trip and that he has made a commitment--and commitments should not be broken--that's where maturity comes into the picture.
Tell him he's only sixteen and there will be many people he will meet in his lifetime but who knows how many trips to Europe he will have.
Help him plan a special date with his girlfriend when he returns or ask her parents if she could also go.
Ask him to help you pick out an itinerary before you go. Get him his own camera and some spending money. Tell him he can make one phone call back home to his girlfriend for a certain amount of time. That's it--he's going!
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 01:52 PM
  #39  
Charles
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You know your child better than the "model" parents posting on this thread. There is a good posibility he could ruin your entire vacation by constant whining, bickering,and foot dragging. Only you know your son and only you can make the decision and any decision YOU make will be the correct one. If you do take him try to give as much freedom on his own as possible. He may like his experience, and at the least you will have free time to enjoy yourselves. "Amor vincit omnia"
 
Oct 21st, 2002, 02:10 PM
  #40  
oldorch
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he goes and he loves it
see risky business joel was 16
 

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