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HELP ME! I just got up, I'm naked, what should I wear?

HELP ME! I just got up, I'm naked, what should I wear?

Feb 21st, 2001, 07:58 AM
  #1  
needshelp
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HELP ME! I just got up, I'm naked, what should I wear?

Oh my god what to do? Can you help me? Today I am taking out the garbage, then maybe I will go get some groceries?
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 08:07 AM
  #2  
okay
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First remember to breathe. I don't mean just for a little while, I mean all day. You need to give us more information though. Where do you live? Is it in the West? If so I suggest Cowboy attire. Maybe you should skip the blue jeans though, try khakis, a vest, chaps, a horse.

When you go buy groceries, wear a robe over your pj's and a scarf over your curlers. Otherwise you may get in trouble with the jeans police.

This is very difficult for me, not knowing where you live and all. Do you have a closet in your hole? Can you cross the street? Is the store nearby? You have to tell us more.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 08:09 AM
  #3  
noproblemo
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There are a few websites you might want to check out first -- www.nolongernaked.com and www.protectionfromelements.com. Do a search on this site -- I'm pretty sure we discussed this topic in March. Maybe you should do your own legwork and then ask more directed questions.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 08:14 AM
  #4  
Santa Chiara
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If you are interested, email me off line. I take people on personalized, guided tours to the grocery store. Also, for a complete description of the best way to remove garbage, as well as handy tips on what to wear, please check my site at [email protected].
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 08:17 AM
  #5  
Ican
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I used to hate my job but now I got the fodors and I is useful to you so i like me job and i keepit.
you need to take a bath before the dressing of rthe day. you can use the towle in the bath for a hat and the biggest towle for thedress if you have a stapler.
you will be clean and pretty. if you a guy wyou will still be clean and pretty.

I love you, will you marry me so I can live in a preety hole with a bath tub and have some towels too.

Thank you for everything. Please don't call me god though. I am just another personlike you in a hole tryoing to get dressed for important business.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 09:00 AM
  #6  
boris
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Ask Elvira

boris
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 09:08 AM
  #7  
needshelp
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I did. She didn't know and said I should ask Fodors. She needs an answer too because we will be traveling together to get the groceries and also to take out the garbage.

Please help us. We are also considering taking the dog for a walk.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 09:32 AM
  #8  
toofunny
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I, too, am considering walking my dog. When is the best time of the day to do this? Would it be better to walk my dog at night? What will the wheather be like? Does anyone know of a web site that can help me decide when to walk my dog? When do you walk your dog?
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 09:55 AM
  #9  
ASeamstress
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needhelp, just put whatever on. Don't worry so much. Get down to your Goodwill or Salvation Army used clothing joint. Buy some stuff. You'd be surprised what you can buy there, rich peoples throw-aways, I'm talking designer stuff from a couple years back. The fashion industry is very corrupt. You people at Fodors are worried about Rex or Ed drumming up a little business so they can get over the pond and gaze lovingly at the Sistine chapel once more before they die and yet you will buy four pairs of overprised instyle booties nailed together by child slave labor. So chill out needshelp. Just cover your ass.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 10:03 AM
  #10  
Cindy
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I say we should think outside the box here. Why is everyone assuming Needshelp should get dressed at all? What's the point? He/she will only have to get undressed later. A person could waste their whole life dressing, undressing, dressing, undressing . . .

Needshelp, I vote for just letting it/them hang right on out there. When you get home, you'll already be naked and one step ahead of the game. Just be careful not to get too close to your grocery cart. That really smarts!
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 10:44 AM
  #11  
christina
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ciao needshelp!

mmmmmmmmm?? to wear???? no idea, it's allways so difficult. BUT if you want to walk your dog, you can come with me. put yourself, your jeans, your dog in an airplain and come to florence, i will pick you up there together with my parson jack russell terrier.

and.... please bring me some starbuckscoffee!

ciao e buona giornata!

christina
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 10:46 AM
  #12  
James
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I don't think we're addressing the real issue. Is needshelp a child or adult? If a child, needshelp should not be allowed out of doors, let alone the grocery store, and therefore has no need for clothing.

As to the towels, I prefer the large towel for my hair, and the smaller, postage-stamp size towel for my body. You'll find all Europeans feel the same way.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 11:11 AM
  #13  
ah ha!
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I think this person is a troll.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 11:30 AM
  #14  
not
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I can't believe you think this is a troll. This is just a fellow traveler asking for a little assistance. As to the sex and age, I have no clue. But Elvira and the dog are there to help. So I think it is safe for needshelp to go to the store and put out the garbage with them.
My biggest concern is that needshelp thinks that we are god. Why did he address us as god. Should we be concerned with his mental health?

If you take the advice about the towels and it is snowing out, make sure you use dry towels. Wet towels might freeze to your body.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 01:04 PM
  #15  
angel
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When in doubt about what to wear, do what I do. Throw on the crispy pink running suit, fanny pack/belt bag, and pure white sneakers. (And I feel super-duper when I wear the "I'm With Stupid" T-shirt underneath.)

Don't forget to pick up some haggis at the grocery!
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 01:45 PM
  #16  
Rex
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That does it. I'm outing myself officially today. Small group (custom, but not necessarily) tours to the greatest grocery stores your heart could ever desire. $250 a day per person, and of course, you have to get yourself here to Columbus, Ohio. And I know where ALL the good stuff is. Duck breast. Manchego cheese. Red currant jelly. Creme fraiche. Teroldego Rotaliano from the Trento region. You name it.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna let SantaChiara grab all this newfound business unopposed. This IS commercial promotion, and Fodor's be damned.

Oh, and if you come on my tours, you can wear black if you want, but you will fare better here in scarlet and gray. Anything but blue and maize.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 02:04 PM
  #17  
teehee
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Also be sure that you put on all your old worn out underware. The older the better! This way you can simply remove a pair after you take the garbage out, another after you walk the dog, and the last layer while you are in the grocery store! It saves packing space! Plus all the people at the grocery store will be very appreciative of your old underpants. I hear that old underpants are very hard to come by in most grocery stores.

I hope this helps. Watch out for gypsies, they will try to steal your fanny and give you a baby! This is particularly dangerous if you have removed your last pair of dirty old underpants!
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 02:07 PM
  #18  
Danna
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I SEE A CLUB HERE!
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 02:15 PM
  #19  
Annette
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Rex, let's see your brochure. If you can include a mystery tour of Ohio hardware stores with free popcorn carts or landfills where the cashier box attendant will give the dog a milkbone, I'm in.
 
Feb 21st, 2001, 02:45 PM
  #20  
lolly
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Better yet, wear all your old underwear while you take out the garbage (pack light!) and then take them off when you get out to the curb. Less to carry back to the house!
 

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