aucho53

Ok....for the past ummmm 4-5 years or so I have been begging my boyfriend Marco to plan a trip to Europe together. For one reason or another he always comes up with some sort of "excuse" as to why we can't go. He has never been, and therefore has no idea what he's missing, and I am running out of ideas here!!! I told him he can pick where we go (so long as I get a few days in Paris), he can choose how long we're there for, he can call all the shots, but I haven't been successful. I just don't know what else to do and I REALLY want to experience this with him. He's nervous about flying so we have stuck with vacation destinations that are within driving distance, but I am really really anxious to kick our vacays up a bit. We're young (24) and we are just about to finish school and start our careers. I wanted to take a nice trip before we have more "responsibilities" Do you guys have any suggestions.....I want to do this, but he has already mentioned that he feels like I'm forcing him to do it...but I have been waiting almost 5yrs!!!
Any help/suggestions would be great....the only time we are free to go as of now is May 2008 so we have lots and lots of prep time!

Thanks!!

Layla

scatcat

Tell him about the topless beaches in Nice.

ribeyefan

Quit bugging him. He doesn't want to go. He has told you for 5 years he doesn't want to go. You have decided to stick with him so leave it alone.

Go on your own or with some friends.

Or else threaten to leave him if he doesn't go with you...Although I think you still might be going alone.

laartista

Go without him. That's what I did way back when.

scatcat

I have been to Europe 2-3 times per year since 1983 and my husband has never gone with me. He refuses to fly so I go with my son or my sister. No reason why I shouldn't see the world.

alanRow

Forcing him to go sounds like a good way to end the relationship.

Celiaanne

I agree with the other posters. I would never talk anyone into going on a major trip like that. I think you will end up spending your whole trip placating your boyfriend and resenting it.

But, good luck whatever you decide.

LLindaC

What does he enjoy in life? Outdoors, culture? Maybe because you're focused on Paris he's thinking poodles, shopping, couture, bleah. I don't know. Traveling together is an art. Frankly, if my husband hedn't been the kind of traveler I was, I wouldn't have married him. Maybe this should open your eyes. If you want life to be filled with exotic places and he stalls, he might not be right for you. Tell him you're going to romantic Rome alone or with a single girlfriend and see how he acts.

janisj

You probably can't convince him. And if he does go at this point it will only be to -- "shut her up" and "get her off my back". Even married people go on separate vacations sometimes. Quit pressuring him, do what you want, let him do what he wants.

If you force him to go he might find all sorts of reason he hated the trip and you'll never get him to go back again.

So - give it a rest already.

Apres_Londee

The solution to this one is simple. If you have funds of your own, go without him.

Chances are, once you start seriously planning your own trip and he sees that you will really go without him, he'll change his tune. Even if he doesn't, you get to fullfill one of your dreams. Don't let it all depend on him.

suze

I would plan a solo trip and go yourself. It's very simple - you want to go and he doesn't. BTW you ARE trying to force him (like he says).

If you plan on being with this person permanently, I would get over this if you want to be happy together.

bluestar

The only chance anyone here on this forum might have of convincing him is to actually hear from his own mouth what he's thinking. If you are really serious, and it seems your are, then ask him to sit down at your computer, have him read this thread, and ask him to type something.

aucho53

Ok...thanks for the tips that I did get. Contrary to what some of you guys are saying i am NOT forcing him. I have been asking him (many times) if we can do this. I know I can take the trip by myself, i would enjoy that also, but my whole "thing" about this is that I would like to do it with him. I do want to travel a lot in my life time, and i am getting nervous about how that will impact our relationship long term if he shows zero interest. The point that I am trying to make is that we ALWAYS do the type of vacation that he wants...so when is it my turn?? Wuddya think?

suze

"I am Layla's boyfriend. She has been bugging me for 5 years to go to Europe with her. I just don't want to go. Why can't she understand this?"
;-)

aucho53

LOL suze....OK maybe I should have said this in my previous posts, he has said that he would like to go, and he has even gone so far as pricing it with me but then something always stops him....I don't get it, I don't always want to spend my summer vacays in Maine, but I do it just to have a vacay together. Don't you guys think there should be some give and take, I'm not asking him to climb everest, I just want a weeks or 2 in Europe....geez.

suze

Seriously though, you need to have this conversation with your boyfriend, not us. Ask HIM your question...

"so when is it my turn??"

StCirq

Absolutely just plan a trip without him. And then send him digital photos of you with lots of hot young European men with the caption "Having a fabulous time - wish you were here!"

suze

Well personally I do think there should be some give and take. Absolutely. Are you going to get it from him? I have no idea.

That said, there are plenty of successful couples where one likes to travel, and the other person doesn't. You have to figure out what will work for you...

You go alone or with friends to Europe.
You get him to change his mind.
You go to Maine every summer.

I mean this with humor and not to sound harsh. kindly, suze

aucho53

I have.....but I just thought I would see what you guys had to say. None of my friends (or anyone I know for that matter) are interested in travel the way I am so I was curious to see what a bunch of travellers would say....I know I have to talk to him, believe me I have. Just looking for some advice here that's all.

ComfyShoes

Aucho53, You are obviously getting responses from the ladies. Here is a man's advice for you to consider First find out if he has phobias of flying etc. If so, work on that and be sympathetic. If not, make Europe plans with that other "guy friend", and make sure to tell your boy friend. Believe me, he will change his mind. If he does not and is not phobic, he basically doesn't care about you so the final solution is to find another handsome, Marco.

Finally, I am not trained in giving this sort of advice so your mileage may vary wildly If you want to, you can send me two cents, however.