Have you ever noticed...
 

People always seem disappointed when I return from a trip without a checked off list of "must see" sites seen.Confused by my explanation of a trip punctuated by moments that cannot be shared through postcard or a photograph. Many seem irritated or aggiated by my lack of devotion to the expected and my utter delight in the happen stance of change. Here is what I look for when I travel...

Breathing in the air of a place I have just arrived.
The voices and the lilting change of lingusitc sound.
Tiny babies smiling at the people who love them.
The feel of the crunching gravel, the wobble of the cobblestones or the soft sinking of warm sand between my toes.
Sounds entirely different and yet completely familiar.
Seeing through eyes, the same sky, hung above a foreign sight
Laughter. Whispers. Shouts. Silence.
The miraculous in the mundane.
Faces. Lifetimes.
I feel the heartbeat of humanity and I relish my place within it all.

Have a wonderful trip...wherever you are

Tina

Lovely post Tina and so true. You don't have to DO to enjoy!

I think a lot of what you mention can be experienced in your own neighbourhood. You just have to 'think' like you're on vacation LOL.

For this great advice I suggest you send me your airfare ;)

Tina, you hit on a sore spot for me, too. I once posted a trip report on here and the first reply was something to the effect of, "Didn't you do anything besides walk and eat? Museums? Galleries?" Never posted another trip report. Sometimes--usually the first, brief visit to an area, we like to just absorb everything around us so we spend a lot of time outdoors, not in the museums. To each his own, right?

I horrify my friends and relatives by not taking pictures on some of my trips.

MelJ - I just read the comments on your trip report and, except for the one nitpicker - ignore him, all the comments are complimentary to your report and folks wanted more. One person did ask if you did a couple of specific things in Venice but did not pose the question in the negative. Go back and re-read the comments.

Most people I know aren't interested in anything about my trips so never comment on what I did or didn't see or do. I'd rather have the interest, even if it means asking why I didn't do or see a particular sight.

That's my style of travel and trip reports, too, but ever since someone called them "insipid," I stopped posting them too.

Thank you, Tina, I feel so much better now! Only I still post my reports - I do it for myself!

Thanks for the kind words.
I guess I was feeling sentimental, since the next trip is likely not until next summer.

I love eavesdropping on other peoples lives and finding the sweetness of similarity and difference, Since, I live in a tourist destination, I am sure people have done the same experiment on me!

I travel as a break from my own reality, even if my reality is nothing to complain about.

Don't get me wrong... I still love to "see" many of the "must see", it just usually doesn't always make my mental highlight reel.

PS. My mother-in-law Hates!!! the way I travel, it always makes me laugh, because she is really furious and offended by my lack of reverence for the "must sees". Oh well.

PSS. I also enjoy reading peoples trip reports....even if they aren't my style.

Tina

We all have different styles. Some people are thrilled by one type of trip report and one type of trip, some by another. Don't stop writing your reports because some people don't enjoy them.

This is why I come here. Even when the people I know don't want to listen to my travel stories, somebody here does. I am not giving up on the people I know who aren't interested in my trip reports, I just don't show them my pictures any more. And somebody around here is always ready to look and talk about the things I am interested in.

There are lots of trip reports and trips here that I find less interesting than others. I wouldn't tell anyone that I thought their report was insipid, but if somebody said that to me I'd just figure it wasn't their kind of thing.

StCirq, there are always lots of positive responses to your trip reports. Why on earth would you stop because of one negative one?

I would encourage you to keep posting your reports - there are heaps of people out there who 'lurk' and rarely if ever post, and you can be sure someone's read what you posted, even if there's no feedback.

On must-sees - I kind of get frustrated that so many people are fixed on must-sees, instead of making the goal to get to know the country or the culture. My focus is a bit different; I often visit cities that are not tourist attractions, visit countryside where foreign tourists never get to. I know many people want to 'pick the eyes' out of Europe, and I guess this is reflective of having short holidays and wanting to get the most bang for their buck.

Lavandula

I travel in a way similar to what you describe. but I don't expect other people to understand. Honestly no one has ever quizzed me on what I did on my trip or seemed to care one way or the other. I'm a bit curious who these "people" are who are "dissappointed"?

Interesting--I've never experienced what the OP described even though we travel a lot. People ask what we did and saw, but no desire for some sort of checklist or disappointment at the lack of one has ever been in evidence. tinabina--maybe you need a different circle of friends and acquaintances, though I guess there isn't much you can do about your mother-in-law.

Oh, I get it now... if this is mostly about your mother-in-law... that's a different story (LOL).

In one of the threads somebody asked me, you just came from this city, what is there not to miss? I honestly don't know what to say as we've "missed" everything :)

Dayenu...You actually make me laugh out loud!! That is exactly it...I always "miss" everything.
tina

Oh and by the way...

I try to post last nite, but I think I forgot to press submit.

Anyhow,

My conclusion, to the point, of people being "disappointed" in broken into three possibilities:

1. People who think THEIR way is simply the only and superior way to travel.
2. People who cannot experience any value from a trip that cannot be reported in a precise list of sights, that are familiar to many.
3. People who view the world from an entirely different set of "lenses" and don't share my "insipid" nature.

Somehow, I feel oddly reassured others are traveling the world with a similiar lack of agenda and checklist in hand, wandering a little aimlessly through it all and enjoying every second!

Now I think I will read other peoples trip reports!
tina

Tina, I never plan ANYthing. All I need is a plane ticket and a hotel reservation. That's IT.

But suze, you would have read up on what there is to do or see in the place you are visiting?

I agree with you and I don't have a daily itinerary and am often mystified and horrified by some of the plans that are posted on Fodor's that have every waking second of every day planned. However, I do have a list of things I would like to see or do so that when I am on my way home, I don't think "oh dammit, I forgot to see ........".

I love reading travel reports, StCirq, I hope you didn't stop posting trip reports just because of that one comment?? I'd love to read about your adventures in France and elsewhere, especially France as you know it so well.

<you would have read up on what there is to do or see in the place you are visiting?>

cathies~ No I don't :-) That's the point. I don't have a daily itinerary or I don't even have a "list". That's what I'm saying.

suze - I am an OCD planner before the trip, but then once we get there, I generally end up throwing the plan out the window and go with the flow. But at least I always know what we COULD be seeing if we were so inclined ;)

We spent almost a week in Amsterdam last summer and people swear by our lack of easily-described itinerary, that we must have gone there just to get stoned, which is certainly NOT the case. We saw some stuff, we went on a couple bike tours, we wandered around, we hung out - we had a FABULOUS time. But we didn't go to the Van Gogh museum, or the Rjiksmuseum (sp?) or the Anne Frank house, or ...

For Amsterdam I actually did buy a guidebook since I had never been before and wasn't familiar with the city. I used Let's Go. It was helpful for maps and one rainy day I hunted out a museum to go to (Tropenmuseum) which was weirdly wonderful.

For Venice I didn't know I was going to be there. I was visiting a friend in Switzerland and she said I needed to go somewhere else for a few days so I took an overnight train to Venice. Since I was already in Europe, I couldn't find a guidebook in English (only French) so I just went in cold. Worked out fine.

I always do get a city map when I arrive. A good map is KEY to a non-planned vacation so you can find the interesting things once you're there.

You know, there will always be "haters", or people who are so utterly and absolutely judgemental. Everywhere, not just on Fodors. I, too, had suspended trip reports. Then I did do one on my last trip to Italy and even my really brief trip to Montreal. If people don't like it, that's certainly THEIR problem and not yours. I've read all kinds of things that different people have done on their trips and just about every time (unless the trip reporter tried to do too much in too brief a period of time and is complaining about it, or they report on an illness or a crime that marred their trip), I think "how cool". And I, too, rarely take photos, I just never got into the habit of it, didn't have a camera for ages, and even when I got one, I just wasn't in the habit of taking it with me everywhere and snapping photos. I just came across a journal of notes I'd made on a trip to Rome and Florence that I never reported on here. I made some cool observations and I kind of wish I'd posted a report, but I'm back to doing that now when I travel, so I guess it's all good. The way I look at it, Fodors owns this place, and if they want to censor me, fine, but no one else, IMVHO, has the right to do that.

BC

I have a universal answer to all these people who think I was wrong (not) to do something on vacations: "so sue me for my vacation time and my money" :)

NovemberMoon, we must be twins separated at birth :))

Well, Adrienne, I'm heading to Paris/Amsterdam on Sunday, so maybe I'll give a trip report another go 'round. Amsterdam will be a first for me.

Bookchick, why do you assume anyone who is not interested in the travel habits of others are "haters"? That's pretty harsh. Everyone on this forum (including me), by definition, loves travel and loves to hear about it. We wouldn't be here otherwise. But it's presumptuous to assume everyone should feel as we do, or are waiting with baited breath to hear how we experience destinations. In general, tales of other peoples' travels are like tales of other peoples' dreams...boring. I only regale those who I know are truly interested. You have to know your audience.

StCirq -- Certainly hope you do resume posting trip reports. Your Passage to India was amazingly vivid.

Not much to say on the rest. Don't read most trip reports after the first few paragraphs, because most writers here haven't learned the first rule of good writing, which is knowing what to leave out.

As to personal travel style. Your vacation, your time. Personally, I "soak up the atmosphere" between the two or three sites I aim for in a day. Imagine I'd be bored silly "soaking it up" for more than an hour or two a day.

Well, this is really interesting. I posted this morning (and it's now late at night) that another reason I wasn't posting trip reports any more was that I did not approve of Fodors owning my words and would never post another trip report because I do use my words for other purposes for which I actually get more than just applause from the crowd.

That post has been deleted. It was in answer to Nikki's post, and I believe all I said was "Well, I don't want Fodor's owning my words," and something to the effect that the calling my reports "insipid" was merely the thing that got me thinking about whether I wanted to post or not.

It appeared either right after Nikki's post or after Lavandula's. I really, really wonder what the editors are up to this time. Care to comment, editors? It's no biggie to me, since I will never again post a trip report here anyway, so let me have it. There was absolutely nothing obscene or even mildly derogatory in it - it was only observation.

"it was only observation."

And a good one it is. I also leave out the best lines, and sometimes observations, because l don't particularly want to give them away. Of course, my supply of free guidebooks has dried up since I arrived at that realization.

Wow Suze, I salute you!!! I don't over plan, but part of the excitement for me is to know something about the place I am visiting, especially which galleries/museums I might be interested in and whether or not I'm going to have enough time etc. I don't think I would be able to travel the way you do!!

"People always seem disappointed when I return from a trip without a checked off list of "must see" sites seen"

I'm sorry to hear that. What "people" do you mean - posters on Fodors, co-workers, family, neighbors?

Fortunately, we haven't had this experience. People sometimes asked if we visited x or y or dined at a or b etc but nobody was judgmental about it.

StCirq- did they really delete one of your posts because it was unflattering to the Fodors image? I guess I am naive and never realized the editors were watching this site so closely. I do enjoy reading well written posts, and I have been quoted in their San Diego book, however I never realized real writers could be taken advantage of in that regard. Too bad, we all miss out on your beautiful words and imagery. Maybe Fodors can hire you to travel the world and report back to us???? Wouldn't that be nice.

Per topic of photos...I realized long ago the postcard photographers are skilled at capturing the area and so I just buy a few.

Per topic of note taking... I found old notes from a trip to England and Wales, it brought back so many memories. Someday I will post trip reports, I think at this point I owe three.

Per topic of maps: I own one from each place I have visited and still got impossibly lost in each. I am hoping for some sort of tracking/gps unit I can wear as a headband. The ideal unit would tell me where the nearest pastry/gelato/ or coffee shop was located.


Have a great day...tina

StCirq~ I've read a number of people saying this morning that their posts have disappeared (one over on a fitness and health topic in the Lounge, so nothing controversial). But does seem a bit 'coincidental' considering your chosen topic.

cathies~ You'd be further shocked, I rarely visit museums. I can't describe the excitement getting off a train (like the Venice trip) with nothing planned beyond knowing how to find my hotel.

Well, all I know is that I posted, and the post disappeared. It's so odd, because Fodors itself tells us all that once we post, they own our words. Do they hope we don't notice or know that? (And isn't it interesting to note that they CAN just pull a single post and not delete an entire thread, which has been a subject of note in the past). I saw the post up there, so it's not like something went digitally awry or anything.

This is disturbing to me. Hello....editors, I'd like an explanation, please.

Suite7, sorry, I'm unable to understand your final comment. "I only regale those who I know are truly interested. You have to know your audience." Okay, good for you. But one does not need to register on Fodors in order to read a trip report, so "your audience" is virtually anyone with computer access who would like to come to Fodors to read a trip report. If you don't want to read one, fine. If you don't want to write one, fine. If you think it's an utter travesty of life in general that someone--anyone--opted not to go to, say, Castel Sant'Angelo when they had the opportunity to, that's fine, too, just don't feel you need to point out the "travesty" to whoever wrote the trip report and let it be known they didn't go to Castel Sant'Angelo. But dear, really, to say "you have to know your audience" is a bit over the top, considering this is a public site which can be accessed by anyone with a computer. Fodors actually <i>encourages</i> people to write trip reports, which is why they want the folks who write them to "flag" them as such. Again, not reading one doesn't make you a "hater". Not commenting on one doesn't make you a "hater", either. However, don't feel you have to pick out things you'd have done differently or places you'd have opted to go to that the writer of the trip report didn't--doing that would make you a "hater", yes.

BC

I also am surprised that anyone was so closely reading what we wrote on a mild-mannered thread like this one.

As far as deleting single posts from a thread, absolutely they do that, quite often in fact. Especially in the Lounge. It makes reading thru a thread extremely confusing. Because the comment the next person may be referencing, is not longer there!

I'm surprised too. Still waiting to hear from the editors why they chose to delete the thread that was in no way in violation of ANY of their rules. Deafening silence from them.

Well suze, I think that's wonderful. To be so free that you can just think..... 'hmmm maybe I'll go to ...... and hop on a plane and go. It would be great fun.

What do you do if you get somewhere and you hate it?