Gratifications needed?
 

Hi, all Fodorites.
When posting a need and you get good advices in return, will a thank u msg be impertinent or what?
I'm thinking about all the complicated questions on this forum that very often get sound and detailed and highly valuable feedbacks, after which all communication stops, leaving the advisors as kinda dumb contributors to maybe some egoistic informations collectors out there.
My first thought when I am getting good advices for free is to give back some gratification. And behind my giving advices to others I also have an underlying wish for beeing gratified in some modest way.
I guess most of us Fodorites feel the same way, without demanding the site to be a sentintimentel full packed thankyouthankyou site.
But some deacency regaring valuable hints at least deserves some appreciating feedback or another.

Forgive me my bad English, and good luck with your travel planning.

Bjorn, Oslo, still eager to serve all you Norway visitors

Bjorn, of course everyone likes to be thanked for their contributions, whether by being singled out, or by a blanket thanks covering everyone who answered the post. That's human nature, to want to be acknowledged. Not to mention it's plain old good manners to do so.

I don't think anyone likes it when the original poster never bothers to check in after collecting many replies. Helping each other travel better is what this forum is about, and feedback is what makes it work. It's a two-way street.

Hi Bjorn,

I don't think one could ever be considered impertinent for acknowledging help.

I think most people who post here regularly like to to travel and like to share the experiences they've gained while travelling. To be thanked for it is nice too.

Given the skirmishes that break out here almost daily, I doubt this board would ever be in danger of overdosing on group hugs.

I think your English is very good and your thoughts are nice and polite and appropriate. A thank you message would never be impertinent under any situation, I would think.

I have seen a couple posts from people on here who don't think people need to thank anyone but I believe those opinions are in the minority. Their thinking was odd to me--something about how people shouldn't want to be thanked, it was supposed to be fulfilling to help people who never acknowledge it. It was kind of a religious twist to message boards that you should help people who are rude for the intrinsic glory of it or something. A couple people even made a comment I also never would have thought of, and don't agree with, that it is disturbing or "disruptive" to a thread when the poster thanks the people for the advice.

I think good manners say you should thank people when they do something for you or give you something, even if it may be something not quite what you wanted. I think Ms Manners would say that, and she expressed it very succintly about the idea of giving "gifts" (which I think free advice can be) to people who never acknowledge or thank you -- she said why should you give something to someone who has clearly shown they don't appreciate it? (in response to why would you give a gift to someone again who did not thank you for the last one) I think that is a simple but concise expression of the idea.

I would like to thank Christina for her many informative posts about Paris.
I used many of her superb recommendations and they were always right on target.

I enjoy reading the "thank yous" too, it sort of puts a close to a thread, so you know the person is on his way to a better trip.

The only thing is that sometimes the poster singles out one or two people to thank and I think that is a bit rude.

I think that it is nice to say thank you- I also like trip reports that outline what advice they used from this forum if it worked for them (or not).

I think this is a conflict between the internet culture, and the way many of us were raised.

In my family, we were all taught to say thank you, and you're welcome.

In the internet culture, relating primarily to email, sending thank yous and you're welcomes is viewed as inconsiderate, as it requires the receiver to open the email to see what it is, and we are all, of course, too busy for that.

In this forum, a thank you, with no added information, takes up the time of many people, and consideration of other people is certainly a part of politeness. On the other hand, if people have given advice in a thread, and you have benefited from that advice, such as by patronizing a recommended restaurant, I think a confirmatory thank you is very useful and civilized.

I find that this forum is one of the fastest paced forums I've ever been on; I joined less than a year ago and I would not remember who posted all the wonderful Paris advice I gathered and used; I stayed at Relais Christine because I read good things about it here; I cannot pinpoint anyone in particular.
I would have to say a collective thank you to all the generous posters and I do try to give back useful info when I can. I guess if everyone shares the wealth of info at any given time, it's some form of thank you to everyone who shares on this forum.

Ira comes to my mind because of the intensive postings of the last few months; because of Ira, I remembered to visit the Marais district, which I had never done on previous Paris trips; so thank you Ira for your postings.

What goes around comes around !!

I've been using the internet for many years and have never heard of any "culture" that says its rude and inconsiderate to say thanks. Too busy to take five seconds to open an email -I don't think so.

Too many people are just too lazy or ungrateful to say thanks, almost as if they expect good answers just because they asked the question.

This forum is the closest thing a traveler has to a free ride and they should be grateful for the superb help they get here. Saying thanks is a very small price to pay.

Thanks Bjorn for bringing this up. Your English, by the way, is fine. I can't speak a word in Swedish!

Even if not thanked specifically, just an acknowledgment that the person seeking advice at least read the message you posted in response to his/her questions. I enjoy this forum and don't mean to imply that it is a big deal for me to respond if I think I have some worthwhile information to offer, it's just that I hate to think it sunk to the bottom of the pile and was never read by anyone--sort of like hanging in limbo!

I think your English is great, Far better then my Norwegian!

It is great to be thanked for good advice.. often I like to post a trip report and acknowlege all of the people who assisted me. Often I wonder what become of posters to whom I've given a lot of advice.. I wonder if they used it, what they thought of it, how their trip went..

But in case I've ever left off a thank you.. THANKS TO ALL who've looked up addresses and restaurant names etc. etc.

Thanks for this post Bjon. You are right. On another forum, I was asked not to write a post saying thank you unless I had something else to say.
And then there are those who won't answer our posts if they don't like us, and some, who are not ignoring you but may not be interested in the part of a country I'm posting, so they won't read it. That's understandable. I can't imagine someone reading every post
though there are some who do.
But it balances out, and the ones who respond to you, nourish your wanting to give more.

Hi, Bjorn. I've asked a lot of questions at this site - for about three years - and always thank people but have found that occasionally my thanks gets lost as the messages pile up in front of it. And there have been times when Fodor's hasn't done the indexing, so the thread can't be easily found to send a thank you or find a thank you. But I've also given information for which I'd love an acknowledgement but don't really expect one. There are so many who respond, a few who are well-known, and not everyone can get to Fodor's as often as they want. Sometimes I can go a week or more before I get a chance to log on. Maybe we shouldn't get too upset if assistance isn't acknowledged. I've seen your many contributions here, and even tho' I haven't been your direction yet (yet!!), I know your assistance is appreciated by those you help. Just keep it coming; we're a community here; not always perfect - and I know I've been forgiven for many hasty, ill-thought responses.

I'm embarrassed Bjorn. I honestly know better. Of course, Oslo is in Norway--I said I didn't speak Swedish. Unfortunately, I don't speak a word of Norwegian either. I must have had one eye open when I read the end of your post. Sorry!