Gift advise for a German wedding?
 

Hi,

My DH and I are attending a friend's wedding in Frankfurt next week. Both the groom and the bride are German, young-ish professionals. Does anyone know if bridal registry is common in Germany? If not, what would be a good gift. (I know, I should be asking them in person, but surely they have million other things to take care of/worry about...) Do people take care of the gift bit before the wedding or bring it to the reception?

It varies a lot. I've been to quite a few German weddings...but no one has ever had a registry. Quite a few people give money, which I don't like to do. People do generally bring the gift/money to the reception or hand it over after the church.

I got married in Austria which is similar enough. I had a registry - but this was used mostly by the Irish. I had lots of Germans at the wedding, as my husband wennt to University in Germany. Some gave money, some gave more traditional wedding gifts like a vase or crystal. I got lots of books as well?!£*

I'm always a big advocate of very traditional wedding gifts. My standard gift for any wedding is a Waterford crystal decanter and some whiskey glasses. It always goes down well.

hi there,
hm, my last wedding in Germany without a "gift list" must be about 30 years ago. Some need need very special things, some want to save for the wedding journey ... Very less want annother vase. Ask them (or friends, other invited people) how they will handle it.

have fun
Gar

I would ask them. Here in Holland it is normal to give money, usually at the reception, often beautifully folded into strange shapes, or in a balloon or something. I tend to just give the cash in a card. Other gifts are also given at the reception.
If you really don't like to ask, then based on what you know of them just choose something beautiful for them, something which will make them think of you when they look at it.

Money would probably be the best for the couple and easiest for you, but if you were insistent on giving a gift, you could get something local from your area, for example pottery. My DH and I got married 2 years ago and we got money from our guests from France. We got lovely gifts from guests, but we appreciated the money just as much because we could buy whatever we needed, whenever we needed it.

Thanks very much for all the insights. I think in the end we may opt for the money in a fancy card--afterall, I aim to give what I enjoy receiving!

The weddings I have been to in Germany aren´t so different to American or English weddings when it comes to gifts, ie. money, bowls, vases etc. Until recently there were not many good online shops/ registries, which is why people don´t use them as much.

I have come across a new online shop (in English and German) that does registries too and covers all the traditional gifts (Le Creuset, Riedel, KitchenAid, Rosenthal) as well as newer ideas like charitable donations and actual honeymoons. I am a huge fan, and friends really loved the gifts I got them from here:

www.wunschboutique.de

Hope that helps!

Giving money in my experience is very uncommon - and should be done upon special request of the couple only. Otherwise it's simply naff - despite what you are being told here.

A registry is definitively not uncommon. You should enquire.

Ive got family in Germany (of German origin) and the gifts they appreciate most are things unique to England. For me, coming from England things like a Fortnum and Mason Hamper always go down well, or hand made glass from local artisans.

Id go for something quintessential to your country of origin.

Another idea is to wait until after the wedding to send a gift -- you will have seen the couple, talked with some of their family and friends, probably gaining better insight into what would be most appreciated. (Unless giving the gift afterward is a terrible breach of etiquette there; it is perfectly ok where I live.)

We got married in Germany and were given a gift voucher to a local high-end homewares shop by my husband's work colleagues. It was very much appreciated at the time because we were still setting up house.

Lavandula

Over here most couples have already lived together for a while when they marry so they already own a complete household. Or two complete households are thrown together. So basic items are not needed any more. To find out about a potential wish list, ask the couple, or a close relative/friend who is involved in the organisation of the wedding if you know the people around them. Often there isn't a registry in a shop but a list that is administered by someone the couple entrusted with this task.

Money in a fancy card or pack is a good and easy solution that will be appreciated. If you want to bring a bit more than a card, bring some little speciality from your home, best something that is consumed (food or drink, e.g. a bottle of wine, or a pack of tea and biscuits, or whatever your home region is known for) and the envelope with the money tied to it.

Gifts are handed over at the reception.

Coming with empty hands and sending a gift afterwards - definitely not. Looks as if you had thought gifts are not expected and then learned better. Looks strange. Not recommended.

I always have to give my Dad money for his presents because he wants such obscure model railway stuff I would get it wrong. Getting fed up with notes in a card, I bought a bright orange spotted frog money box and put the coins in that. He loves it and it takes pride of place in their sitting room much to my Mums disgust!