Germans...
 

I'm going to Germany next week, and I just wanted to know - are they generally warm people? and accepting of different cultures? Will they slight me because I'm american? (I'm asian, accompanied by my african american friendd)

The germans are generally more formal than Americans IMO, but they have a wonderful sense of humor. If you are polite to them, they generally go overboard in trying to be helpful and friendly, more so older people than the twentiesh people. If you are going to touristy type places, you shouldn't have a problem. I understand that off the beaten track places, especially in what was East Germany, may not be as receptive, but I have no personal knowledge about this.

The germans are generally more formal than Americans IMO, but they have a wonderful sense of humor. If you are polite to them, they generally go overboard in trying to be helpful and friendly, more so older people than the twentiesh people. If you are going to touristy type places, you shouldn't have a problem. I understand that off the beaten track places, especially in what was East Germany, may not be as receptive, but I have no personal knowledge about this.

Everytime I have been to Germany I have noticed how much more formal the people seem to be. Maybe it is just because I am used to the Midwest, but I didn't find people to be all that friendly. For example when you enter a store, the shopkeeper usually will not greet you. Yet Germans are great about service and getting done what needs to be done. <BR>One of my friends is German and she did agree that she found Americans to be much friendlier. She said just how many Germans see our overfriendliness as fake. I guess my point is that you shouldn't worry. Sometimes they may come across as not as friendly, but they will not be rude and will treat you with respect.

I will answer the last part of your inquiry. I am American but not caucasian. My family and I were stared so much while in Germany (also in Austria and German speaking part of Switzerland but to lesser degree.) Do not know what interested them, mostly by middle age or older people. Not just quick glance mind you, many minutes of straight stare right into your face at restaurants by people sitting at NEXT TABLE and in waiting lines of various sorts. The people I needed to deal with (restaurants, hotel reception, ticket agents), however dealt with me with no noticable slights. <BR> <BR>We were so relieved when we arrived in Denmark when constant staring stopped.

I spent a while in Germany. Germans are usually more formal. The language even has two forms of address: Sie and du. <BR>The Sie is a formal you; the du is for use with family, very close friends, children, and classmates. Different modes of behavior are expected depending on the form of address. You would not walk up to a stranger and use the du form of address, assuming you spoke German. Many Germans find that our easy going friendship to be superficial as indicated earlier. Friendliness can vary depending on where you are. Bavarians tend to be a little more outgoing, but stereotypes are to be avoided. <BR> <BR>As for the staring, I got the same treatment even though I am caucasian. I was eating in a restaurant and this woman could not contain herself anylonger. She asked me, in German, where I was from. I told her and she responded in such a way that I got a little annoyed and asked her if she had anything against my being an American. <BR>That stopped the inquiries. <BR>But many Germans are curious about foreigners, particularly unusual ones, even in Switzerland. <BR>Our landlady in Saas Grund, Switzerland, a charming person indeed, just had to find about us. And in return, she told us about her family. It was an interesting exchange because she did not speak English, so we got by with my German, which is not exactly ready for prime time. <BR>In general, accept the formality because you are not going to change it, and enjoy yourself. I found that getting around and buying what I needed was rarely a major problem. Germans are usually quite willing to use what English they know, and many are quite fluent. I sometimes would get a little annoyed when their English was worse than my German, but why fight it? <BR>I might add, that my experiences were in the western parts. There is a gap, cultural and economic between the Ossis and the Wessis. (Ost - East; West = west.) <BR>

Just wanted to add a note. Why don't you tell us where you are going. I lived in the Bonn/ Rhine area for fourteen years, and I can tell you that there are many embassies and consulates there (that has recently changed with the capital changing). Because of the international flavor of the area, Germans there are very used to different cultures, and I can only guess that other big cities are the same. As for the staring, that is true, and they don't see it as rudeness. Many also push in line, which is something you wouldn't see in, say England. You just mustn't take it personally. <BR>Just as an aside, my sister in law is asian, and she was less accepted with my caucasian brother in the United States, than she ever felt overseas (they live in Switzerland).

Hello Kim, <BR> <BR>I'm Malaysian and just got back from Germany 2 nites ago. I feel they are less friendly to 'outsider' but talked much more to fellow Germans. I won't say they are rude but they just don't smile. It is amazing that they can keep such a straight face when here I am smiling till my jaw drop!!! I actually felt silly. After 2 days, I decided to behave like everyone else....keep a straight face and don't give a damn about greetings. Felt funny since this is definitely not Asian culture but then this is the best way to counter 'unfriendliness'. On the other hand, I think Americans are far more friendlier and easy going. I hope you enjoy your trip....I did mine. At least for 1 week, I don't have to smile if I don't want to. A tip - their train ticketing system is on the 'honor system' so buy your ticket and then validate it before you go down to the platform. If the conductor (not many around) finds you without a valid ticket, you will be fine DM60....absolutely no argument as 'ignorance is not an excuse' AND you will be stared at by the entire car. Everwhere else we can buy the ticket from the conductor or pay the difference but not in Germany....AND try explaining that to the conductor who speaks only German!!!!. I have seen many such incidents on the train. Embarrasing but amusing if you are with a group of people. <BR>Winnie

Regarding staring and not smiling by Germans in Germany...my son has lived in Germany outside Frankfurt for the past three years. He and all his friends say that it is common among Germans to stare and to not smile. And, just as an earlier poster said, they can stare straight at you for a fairly long time, which in our culture, we would consider rude. If this is being done to caucasians, then I would expect that is the very same behavior exhibited to Asians and African-Americans. Hence, it's cultural rather than or at least as much as racial, and one shouldn't take it personally. It's just the way they are. I've been to Germany three times in the past three years and loved it. I would go back every year if I could. So, just enjoy your trip.

You may find yourself on a different cultural wave length than the Germans you encounter casually. Once past their cultural reserve, most Germans can be quite charming and accommodating to your needs as a stranger. Speaking a bit of German breaks the ice. Unlike the Italians, Germans tend to look inward. Case in point: they do not share food among fellow passengers in a railway compartment. Instead, each takes care of himself, eating "out of his armpit" as we discovered, trying to sneak bites of food out of food hidden under their coats. It is really quite amusing to stare at them, catching them sneaking bits of food out of hidden sacks. Their faces flush with embarrassment when "caught." In contrast, Italians eating under the same circumstances pass their food around, making a joint picnic out of their meal, sharing with strangers as well as with family. We saw this happen so often and under so many different circumstances that we became quite interested in watching the lack of interpersonal interaction among Germans, wondering why this standoffishness was so much a common mark of their behavior. Has anyone else out there observed this?

Glad to see other people out there have experienced Germans staring at them for no reason. I was beginning to think I had a horrible disfigurement or something. I think they just don't consider it rude like I do. I guess my advice is to not take it personally, they do it to everyone. <BR>The above posts are correct in my opinion - it depends on where in Germany (or Austria). In northern Germany I found the most unfriendly, in Bavaria people were fairly nice. In Vienna, the people love to stare but in the rest of Austria I think people are more outgoing. But again these are generalizations, you can find those obsessed with staring anywhere.

We will be going to Frankfort, Germany the 3rd week in Sept. I was wondering what the Germans do if you stare right back at them. Do they get embarrassed and look away? We plan on going South into Bavaria and maybe into Austria.

In Bavaria and Munich we found the people to be extremely helpful and friendly. In northern Germany, our experience was that although they were always helpful, they were definitely more reserved and far less approachable. Several times in the restaurants as we tried to figure out the menu, someone took pity on us and translated for us. When we were lost on a train and wandered from person to person asking if anyone spoke english, a woman hurried after us to say she could help us, she looked like an angel to us. In both instances the ladies said they love using long-forgotten english that they were forced to stop using during the war; they were surprised how much they remembered, and we were delighted to let them "practice" us out of tight situations. I like the German people. Abrupt? yes, but that is probably their culture, and was most evident in the older people who had lives very different from mine. Brief and to the point, yes they answer questions and move on - they don't elaborate as we do. Did they stare at us? You bet they did. Particularly in restaurants when we ate American style and used the knife, and fork differently than Europeans do. They were as intrigued with our eating ritual - as we were with theirs. That, however, happens in every country we've visited. I've found a big warm smile is the best hidden weapon we have. Enjoy your trip. It's a beautiful country with many, many warm and friendly people. I hope you find them all.

I spent two weeks in southern Germany last fall and can was amazed about how friendly the people were. I spoke no German when I got there but was able to pick up enough to communicate on a very basic level. It seems if you are willing to try to speak in German it breaks the ice and Germans who would otherwise be hesitant to speak in English will give it a try. Many of the older teens and young twenties are anxious to try out their English. <BR>

Germans are generally friendly, but be aware that if you get barged into while walking round a German city, you're unlikely to get an apology. This isn't bare-faced rudeness, rather a German thing that being bumped into in cities is regarded as an 'occupational hazard' of being where there are a lot of people! So it's just accepted. But don't be offended by any lack of apologies.