Ger's Long weekend in Umbria

Old May 21st, 2005, 07:29 AM
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Ger's Long weekend in Umbria

I spent last weekend in wonderful Umbria. Too short a trip, but it is certainly one of those places to which I will return many times.

Before I start my trip report, I thought it important to share some driving tips. I admit to have being slightly nervous at the prospect of driving in Italy. I had only done so once before, in the Dolomites, and let's face it, the Dolomites are hardly typical of Italy. It was actually easier than I had imagined, but there are certainly some idiosyncrasies which I would like to share with you:

- Road Sign Directions: Its feast or famine: There is either a surfeit, or a complete absence. However, regardless of where one is or which direction one takes, all roads in Umbria appear to lead to Rome. This can be very frustrating if you are trying your best NOT to travel to Rome

- Despite what the road signs say, all roads in Umbria do NOT in fact lead to Rome; some roads lead absolutely nowhere

- While the Romans are renowned for their straight roads, the principle of “the shortest distance between any two points is a straight line” was obviously lost with the demise of Roman Empire. In post-Roman Umbria, tarmacadam has been thrown on every donkey path and every cow trail. These roads (the SS series) twist and turn back upon themselves in a similar manner to the small intestine, so while the distance between A and B may appear to be only 10 Km, when unraveled, it is closer to 40 Km

- The concept of “driving lanes” is completely alien to the entire Umbrian population. Drivers show a strong preference for straddling the lines between the lanes, claiming both as their territory. This makes overtaking a dangerous maneuver, as the Umbrian driver is likely to claim precedence over both lanes; its a bit like “roller-derby”, but with bigger skates and stakes. Don’t attempt to play this game unless you are certain your car is equal to the challenge and you have full CDW.

- Be aware, that if you use your indicator, to inform other drivers of your intention to turn right or left, everyone will know that you are a tourist, even if you are dressed, head to toe, in Zegna/Versace/Armani/Prada togs. The Indicator is the most infrequently used device on the car; it appears that it is too precious a commodity to use on a regular basis in case it wears out and it also completely baffles other drivers. I would personally like to apologize to the drivers of Umbria for causing confusion by clearly indicating when I wanted to turn right or left or merge with on-coming traffic.

- It is a myth that ALL Italians drive too fast. Certainly, SOME Italian drivers drive too fast, but others drive FAR too slow. It is important to note that NO Italian drivers drive within +/- 20% of the declared driving limit. Using the ancient Latin nomenclature, the FAST drivers are known as the ”Fastbastardarus”, and the slow drivers are know as the “Slowbastardarus”

- The “Slowbastardarus: One usually encounters this variety when one is in a desperate hurry to get to the airport, at risk of missing a flight, on a fixed price ticket. The phenomenon of THREE “Slowbastardarus”, occupying all three lanes of the motorway, occurs more frequently than one imagines.

- The ”Fastbastardarus”: One usually finds these drivers about 3 inches from one’s rear bumper, as one negotiates hairpin bends, on minor roads, riddled with potholes. They encourage the tourist, using various facial gestures and ancient hand signals, to drive 25Km above the speed limit, on unfamiliar roads, risking life and limb.

- Don’t get overconfident with your driving skills. Specifically, don’t imagine that you are in any way qualified to follow the locals through the narrow, winding streets of the hill towns. I strongly urge the Italian government to post road signs to indicate that certain laneways are not navigable for the tourist, unless said tourist is riding a donkey. Tourists risk being stranded, helplessly trying to turn a large car, that fills the entire laneway, around a 15 degree bend and, but for the kindness of a stranger, might abandon the car and continue the journey on foot. More about that story later!

I will follow later with my trip to Orvieto.

Regards Ger
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Old May 21st, 2005, 07:44 AM
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Hi Ger! So you survived it idiocyncracies and all. I have to agree about the road signs--they're something else, aren't they? Did any of these roads lead you to any good shopping??? Welcome back!
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Old May 21st, 2005, 08:45 AM
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Welcome back. I'm looking forward to fun on the road in Umbria this Fall. Unlike here in So. Cal, at least they don't shoot at you.
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Old May 21st, 2005, 09:47 AM
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Great stuff Ger, You should try Sicily driving--even more so.
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Old May 21st, 2005, 11:00 AM
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Ger, how wonderful to hear of your adventures on the road, dear girl! Glad you survived to tell the tale, and to advise us of what it's like in the fast (and/or slow)lane in Italy. I'm leaving Friday (barring strike activity) for Rome, going up to Bevano in the Lake District, and then coming back down to Rome. Hope to read more from you soon on Orvieto, as I may make it there on this trip.

Best wishes,
BC
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Old May 22nd, 2005, 06:09 AM
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Hi there!

No Mermaid, I did not do any shopping because my time was so limited.

Maitaitom: You have a point I am so glad I did not know this before I rented a car in LA in Feb to drive to Santa Barbara!

Bob: Thanks. I want to visit Sicily within the next two years, so I neede dot get over my fear.

Bookchick: Hello dear! Have a wonderful trip. I hope there is no strike activity. There was a strike the day I arrived and the country was at a standstill apparently. There were several people at the car rental office trying to rent a car for the day but, from what I could gather, there were none available. Please try to get to Orvieto; the Duomo alone makes the trip worthwhile.


Regards Ger
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Old May 22nd, 2005, 06:23 AM
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Greetings Ger!
Loved reading this! I have heard about those Fastbastardarus !! Nerve wracking but something I would imagine being so very Italian?
Italy is having such a run of good luck, you were there and now Bookchick is on the way!
TTFN~
Scarlett
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Old May 22nd, 2005, 06:25 AM
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BC
Will you be driving on your own, or with a friend?
Glad you're going back to your beloved Rome.
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Old May 25th, 2005, 09:05 AM
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ttt
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Old May 31st, 2005, 08:27 PM
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Introduction:
There was a thread recently on what inspires one to travel to a particular region. Often, I am inspired and seduced by a trip report on Fodor’s. This was one of those times. I read “buongiorno’s” trip report, from Tuscany, Umbria and Le Marche, and longed for Italy. That same weekend, I found a wonderful art book, which contained the Giotto frescoes at Assisi. Later in the day, I found a second-hand book on touring Umbria. Surely this was a sign from the Gods?

Travel Resources were:
- Michelin Italy: For overall advice
- Blue Guide to Umbria: I have never used “Blue Guide” before but will certainly do so again, perhaps on every trip. None of the other guides I have used provided the same degree of information on art and architecture. Highly recommended. I don’t use guide books for restaurant or hotel advice because the information may be out of date and once an endearing restaurant or a charming hotel is published in a guide book, I have to believe that, at least 60% of the time, standards slip and prices increase
- Fodors site: My personal favourite for recent reviews on hotels and restaurants
- My own books on art, history & architecture
- H.V. Morton: Travels in Italy. I love this man and thank JODY for introducing me to him.

I have already provided details of my flight from Victoria, BC, Canada, and the review of the Hilton at FCO (http://fodors.com/forums/threadselec...2&tid=34618210). I would definitely consider staying there again after a later flight or before an early one. I think the cost is well worth the convenience.

I was at the car hire depot (located in the skybidge that connects the Hilton and the terminals) by 7:30 and by 0750 had possession of a Renault Megane Cabriolet. I was delighted! I had visions of speeding through Umbria with the top down, a la Grace Kelly. However, I soon came back to reality, realizing that a sunscreen has not been invented that will stop me burning in direct sunlight. The car is a real beauty and has a fabulous clutch, 6 gears and plenty of power and maneuverability. On the highway, I had it up to 150Km for some stretches (would have gone faster, but the roads in Umbria are not too good and I could here the DH in my head, admonishing me for breaking the speed limit in a foreign country, despite the fact HE does it ALL the time ) and it performed really well on the twisting up-hill roads. Highly recommended!
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Old May 31st, 2005, 08:39 PM
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The Drive to Orvieto:

The road out of FCO was empty and I had strong hopes that I could clear the city before the morning traffic got bad. I was also was encouraged by the fact that I actually found the sign for the A1 to Florence and was prepared to compliment the Italians on their excellent signage, until the signs for the A1 to Florence completely disappeared for the next 20 minutes; in fact ALL the roads signs indicated that I was driving to Rome. I was gutted and scared, as I remember from history that ALL roads lead to Rome and the last thing I needed was to find myself battling the traffic of Rome on the day of the dreaded transportation strike. I slapped myself very hard and reminded myself that I must a stoic and not give in to panic. I persevered and continued to drive in the same direction. Finally, a sign for Florence appeared and I knew I was on the correct road.

I was also caught in fairly awful traffic jams, as the greater ring-road around Rome has been ripped up; three broad lanes have been reduced to two very narrow ones and they weave and twist like a dirt track. From what I saw, don’t expect this to change in our lifetime, so be prepared. On the plus side, if forces everyone to drive slowly and CDW is compulsory in Italy for rental cars and there is ZERO deductible. A note on this: There was a sign posted at Europcar, which listed the items outside of the CDW coverage and indicated the maximum charges, which I applaud. The car key, the tires, the cost of processing an accident, are all extra. None of the charges were excessive and frankly, if I were careless enough to lose the keys I have no problem paying a “stupidity” tax.

The A1 to Florence is a good road, most of the way, and on that day the traffic was light. It was a glorious sunny day with skies of azure blue and fields stretching out to the mountains. On the road to Umbria, I lost all of my driving anxiety and let my heart and soul be seduced by its loveliness, while my mind considered the myriad of options and itineraries. As usual, I had made a list of a hundred things I needed to see in four days.

On the flight over, I had read a wonderful tale of another traveler’s first vision of Umbria:
“Beyond the hill-town of Castiglion Fiorentino, I came upon the only movement in that sun-stricken world, where a young farmer, burnt brown as a walnut, was guiding his plough under the olive trees. The oxen, their white bodies yellowed with sweat, moved with slow elephantine grace, shaking their vast horns, every now and then, to move the red tassels on their flat foreheads to dispel the flies.”

One might think that the above passage was written by Goethe, during his travels through Italy in the late 18th century, or a contemporary. But no, the passage was written by H. V. Morton in 1964. How extraordinary that a scene like that was so still commonplace in Umbria just 50 years ago. I regret to say that I saw no white oxen on my trip and few virile young farmers burnt brown as a walnut. Read both writers before your trip. You will be enriched by their experiences.
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Old May 31st, 2005, 08:43 PM
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Oh Ger, I laughed so much at your post, that my husband had to come over and see what on earth I was doing on the computer!

We are spending 6 wonderful days in Tuscany/Umbria region in about 9 days. We've rented a car, but now I'm wondering if we should drive it straight to the Avis Rent-a-donkey. I'll be sure to put my "I LOVE FODORS" bumper sticker on his rear end!!

Thanks for the laugh...

B.
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Old May 31st, 2005, 08:47 PM
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Oh Ger, more please, as quickly as possible!!
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Old May 31st, 2005, 08:47 PM
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Orvieto

Here are my photos of Orvieto:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...y=-u4jbuj&Ux=0

I arrived at Orvieto at 10am, two hours straight driving from FCO. I parked at the bottom of the town, opposite the funicular, and headed up the winding main street (Corso Cavour) toward the Duomo.

The Duomo is reason enough to visit this town. The massive façade is an extraordinary example of the Italian Gothic, decorated with intricate marble carvings and shocking, gaudy mosaics that were added later. You can’t but be delighted by its exuberance and its craftsmanship. Before entering the cathedral, purchase the tickets for entrance to the Cappella della Madonna di San Brizio, from the tourist office at the opposite side the square.

The interior is Romanesque and the use of dark & light “banding” throughout, a touch of genius. The Cappella della Madonna di San Brizio, with frescoes by Signorelli, make the heart stop momentarily and then beat frantically like the wings of a moth. At least, that’s what happened to me. Thankfully, there are pews where you can rest for a few minutes while you recover from the sheer delight of it all. The frescoes are stunning, beautifully executed, with dire warnings of the day of judgment and promises of life ever-lasting.

Every panel tells a story: what a wonderful way to preach to the illiterate masses and to encourage them to return every Sunday and “Holy Days of Obligation”. If redemption involved such delightful visions, this poor sinner would have been a constant church-goer. There are so many complexities to explore in the frescoes, even the demons are beautiful, in their own way; there is such humour and irony in paintings; so much energy and excitement; a strong message that we must fight the forces of evil every day and a promise that it will be worth it in the end.

So, what has changed? Is this message any less relevant for a literate technology consultant in the 21st century than it was for a semi-literate merchant or illiterate peasant in the 15th century? Probably not. Great art is timeless because it touches the soul and the heart and the message transcends time and culture. We all toil to live; we all fight the same demons of corruption, cynicism, fear and disappointment; we all seek a shining vision of hope, redemption, peace and joy.

On a lighter note, you will also be treated to the best-toned gluteus maximus and abs you are ever likely to see outside of a gym. Apparently, on the day of judgement, we will be delighted to discover that have spent the intervening years, between death and resurrection, doing Pilates and Boflex (this MUST be Purgatory) and will emerge with perfectly honed and toned bodies. Now THAT is something to look forward to, don’t you think?

The Cappella del Corporale is a place of worship and the consecrated “host” was/is exposed. The signs clearly indicate that one should consider this chapel as a holy place and not a gallery: It is a place of prayer and quiet contemplation. Treat it with the respect that it is due. A lone nun, clad in shades of grey, knelt on a “prie diue”, so still in her devotion to the “host” that one might think her a statue. Echos from my childhood came flooding back: The consecrated host exposed, must have constant devotion. The ‘Tantum Ergo” played in my head and I could almost smell the incense. Around her, a group of young teenagers from Brazil alternately prayed and took sly photographs of the frescoes, for their mothers and grandmothers back home.

I spent two hours in the Duomo, and it was not enough, but hunger drove me from the divine to the mundane. I walked back to the Via Cavour and founded a restaurant on the Pizza della Republica where I could dine “al fresco”, with a nice view of a church. I ordered a Pizza Margarita, a beer and large bottle of water (8 Euros).

Revived, I set out to explore the town, using the map provided by the tourist office. I wandered for a couple of hours in the quiet of a lazy afternoon. “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun”. I am Irish, but we can’t be blamed for adopting some of their habits after almost 800 yeas of occupation. It is my favorite time to explore these southern towns, when all sensible people have taken shelter. The heat of the mid afternoon sun radiated from the stones of the medieval buildings and the scent of the flowers in the window boxes and planters wafted through the still air. It was much quieter than I had anticipated; only the occasional car interrupted the silence and I could enjoy the sounds of insects humming and the domestic sounds from the houses, of lunchtime conversation and cutlery on china plates. Prostrate cats and dogs raised their heads lazily as I approached and yawned, accepted pets and belly-rubs, but were unwilling to establish a relationship or even engage in conversation, at this time of the day. I was lost in contemplation, still flavouring the frescoes in the Duomo, feeling comfortable in this foreign town and my choice of Umbria. The first destination on a trip can positively or negatively affect they way I approach the rest of the trip. I already knew that I would love Umbria and this would be the first of many visits.

I decided on my amble through the town that I would take the adventurous route from here to Spello so, on the way back to the car, I purchased a local map of Umbria.

A word of advice for driving in Umbria: If you have to buy a large-scale map in order to FIND the road from A to B, you probably should NOT take that road unless you are a very good driver, very brave or very stupid (ME!). While the main motorways were built over the original Roman roads, the lesser roads are the result of pathways carved out by donkeys and cows.

Next: The drive to Spello

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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 03:22 AM
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GER. More, more, more!
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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 08:05 AM
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You make everywhere you travel a delight to read.
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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 08:22 AM
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Ger, we could all do well to just follow you (and your research) around Europe! So, you might catch it here: when in Sarlat I saw the wisteria draped building you took a picture of a year ago. Luckily I had seen your picture because at 10 a.m. there were so many tourists in front of the building I could hardly get a picture!

Will be looking forward to more Umbria stories. Hope you're enjoying your new west coast home.
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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 04:16 PM
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Hi Scarlett: Bookie is there now. I am sure she is having a wonderful time. Here's hoping she checks in soon.

nb: Good luck with the driving. I know you will have a wonderful time, I only wish I had had longer.

Sher: I'll have another installment ready tomorrow.

Mimi & Hopingto: Glad you are enjoying it. I was thinking of the Dordogne just this week when I saw a Wisteria draped wall here in lovely Victoria
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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 04:23 PM
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Very funny and well-written. And again, it's about Umbria, so what's not to love?

Thanks for reporting.
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Old Jun 1st, 2005, 04:57 PM
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Ger slouches toward Umbria waiting to be born.

What wonderful writing, sweetie.
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