Generic trip report for newbies
 

Hi all,

I have noted that many newcomers to our forum are timid about writing trip reports, unsure as to what to say and awed by the literary talents of some of our correspondents.

While waiting for the bread dough to rise, I thought I would help out by providing a generic report, suitable for all occasions.

First, I want to thank everyone on this board who were so helpful in giving us good advice about where to go, how to get there, where to stay, what to do and places to eat. I would especially like to thank (...........) for excellent advice about (.........).

We flew from (.......) to (.........) on (......) airlines. The flight was (absolutely awful, not bad, uneventful, really nice). The flight attendants were (nasty and rude, cold and unhelpful, nice, really terrific). We left (two hours late, late, on time) and landed (very late, late, on time, early).

We got our baggage (after two hours, one hour, quickly). Immigration (took forever, was a short wait, was no problem) and Customs was (a breeze, a nightmare).

Everyone suggested that we take (a cab, a shuttle, the bus, the train) into town. We decided to go by (cab, shuttle, bus, train, hitchhike) and found it to be (a ripoff, OK, great).

Most of you recommended that we stay at (...... or .......). We decided to choose (........, another hotel, wing it). Our hotel room was (tiny, small, OK, spacious). I (would, would not) recommend this hotel.

The city we visited, (...........), was (horrible, OK, really terrific). We especially (liked, hated) seeing (.........). The food was (weird, OK, fantastic), especially the (.........) at (...........).

If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them.


Suggested responses to trip report:


For newbies

Dear ......
Thanks so much for your really interesting report. We won't be going to (.........) where you went, but will be in a neighboring country at a different season. Did your airplane have TVs in the backs of the seats?

For older, jaded fodorites.

Dear ......
I don't see how anyone could have (liked, not liked) going to (.........). It is one of (my least liked, most liked) destinations. Anyone who would choose to eat (..........) is a (fool, troglodyte, has no taste buds).

LOL

Will keep this in mind as I still have to do my Austira report.

~gnr~

Thanks for the laugh ira!

I love it! Thanks for the laugh.

What happened to your ((i)) ?

Ira, are you sure you haven't picked this idea up from a British seaside resort in the 1950s? I'm sure they're still selling postcards with tick-boxes along these lines!

I'm certain this post was meant with the absolute best of intentions. Unfortunately, some folks may be even FURTHER "intimidated" if they feel they cannot, or don't want to, follow thse "guidelines." But perhaps those folks will just ignore it anyway so I am sure there was no harm done.

No Patrick, I made it up from my own little brain, based on 30 yrs of creating multiple guess exams. :)

Intrepid, it was only a suggestion. It is not a required format. :)

Intrepid1
Oh, for Heaven's sake!

LOL, ira, Brilliant :D
I will copy this and use it.( Much to the relief I am sure of some).
Intrepid, do you ever have a good day?

One of your best (de novo? are these rare for you? they're less than 1% of my posts, I think) since I don't know when!

All except for the part where you lied to/toyed with Intrepid1 - - of course it is <b>not</b> <i>just a suggestion</i>; it's absolutely the <b><i>mandatory format</i></b>!

Unde vee haff vays of deelink wit you newbies who fail to follow it!

Achtung! Gruss Gott! und...

Best wisches,

:)

Rex

Thank you!! I will feel much better now about posting a report when we return from our family trip to Germany and environs!!

Hello, Ira,
this year I hope to go to Europe first time being a Fodorite. Can you please provide similar guidelines for questions? So nobody will be &quot;FURTHER intimidated&quot; by my inquiries? (thank you Intrepid ;)

Oh, you can compile a standard list of questions (which airline should I use, do I get currency in advance, how do I tip the pilot) so we newbies just type in our destinations.

ira -- Thank you for your ( humorous, nasty, vile, uplifting, condesending...) outline for people who are( new , old , trolls, lurkers, shy, bold).

Fortunately we have epople like you who truly try to help everyone.

And some of (you, us, them) have (better, worse, absent) &quot;epople skills&quot; than others.

:)

LOL How bout doing a Mad Libs version? : )

I want to know about the bread dough. What kind and did you do it all yourself?
Lets hear a report on that, ira :)

Oh, Ira, that is so funny. You are in good form today. I love the Fodorite responses.

I was wondering about the bread dough too...did it over rise and pop? Well, no harm done..just punch down and rise again. You are a &quot;pistol&quot; Ira...too funny.

ira, I started off feeling intimidated, but I quickly got over it. Sorry.
May I suggest a couple of additional categories?

I found ATMs (at the airport, nowhere, on every corner)

I used the room safe and (I was never robbed, robbed the first day, forgot the combination, couldn't fit my laptop in it)

Regarding travelers checks,
(I couldn't cash them, I could cash them at face value, I could cash them by paying outrageous fees, what's a travelers check?)

When I packed for this trip I
(brought only dirty old clothes, brought everything and the kitchen sink, fit everything into my shirt pocket)

The people in this country are (aloof and rude, friendly and warm, aloof and warm, friendly and rude)


How did the bread turn out?

:) ((F))

Intrepid1,
you are hillarious.
Cheers

What a hoot!!!
Judy

I was ROTFLMAO and about to wish you all a very merry Christmas, when I noticed the date of the OP....

But a very Merry Christmas to everyone anyway....

topping... it's almost Friday!

Ira, you are always so helpful and so clever! What would newbies and oldies ever do without you?

Why anyone would top year old post?

(my favorite mandatory question on every old thread from at least some 1...usually 2...)

Is there a full moon?

That was funny ira, but geez. With an outline like that there really isn't an excuse for procastination.
I mean afterall, the old &quot;dog ate my trip report&quot;, doesn't hold up unless your dog knows your password. And mine hasn't figured it out yet.
&quot;I don't know what to write&quot;, or &quot;I'm afraid no one will like it&quot;, were the only excuses left.

You know I hate to tell you but some of us have no intention of posting any trip reports and it is not because we are &quot;unsure of what to say.&quot;

Ira: bless you, the rising time required by bread and whoever resurrected this thread for this funny, nicely wicked, twice-told tale...

Funny! Thanks for topping!