Following are actual signs written for English speaking travelers from various countries: <BR> <BR>Norway - cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. <BR> <BR>Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. <BR> <BR>Hotel in Acapulco: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. <BR> <BR>Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager. <BR> <BR>Indian maternity ward: No children allowed. <BR> <BR>Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. <BR> <BR>Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. <BR> <BR>Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a London club on a flight of stairs (with a low ceiling where you could easily bump your head): "Mind your egg"

On my way to school a couple of years ago I noticed a sign outside of Ace Hardware that read "Hookers on aisle 5." A friend later went back to take a picture, so that we could always remember the laugh we had.

Car and Driver magazine often runs examples of funny signs. I remember two that I saw in the magazine which I saw in person sometime later. One was a sign on an expressway near Portland, Oregon, for an exit to the towns of Boring, OR, and Oregon City, OR. The sign read "Boring Oregon City." I also remember a sign on I-68 near the WV/MD border for the following oxymoronic exit: "Fairchance Road/Cheat Lake." Also, in Quebec, they use brown signs with pictographs for tourist attractions. The most unusual pictograph was one for a naturist colony -- a stylized man, woman, and child naked, standing as seen from behind.

At a sign by a pond in Singapore: <BR> <BR>"No swimming. no fishing, no releasing of tortoises. Fine $500". <BR> <BR>Kids often buy baby terrapins and throw them out after the tire of them. <BR> <BR>

In Venice next to an arch entering an alley: Do not piss here! in 4 languages

When the construction began on the Big Dig in Boston, there was a sign on the Southeast Expressway as you entered the tunnel: <BR> <BR>"If Rome had been built in a day, we would have hired their engineers." <BR> <BR>The sign has since been replaced, the construction is not complete, but the Big Dig is still going on and on and on (just like the Energizer Bunny).

While visiting my sister in Baton Rouge, LA, I noticed a sign in the parking lot of my hotel - it said "Ladies Parking Only" - just like handicap! Being a native New Yorker, I'm not used to such Southern Hospitality! I took a picture of it to show everyone back home.

The Basel University College of Pharmacy's address is number 3, Totengässlein (dead man's lane) and for many yeary the tramway stop for the University Hospital was "Totentanz" (death man's dance), they eventually changed it to "Predigerkirche" (dominicans' church).... <BR> <BR>Phil.

a few weeks ago in Provence at Isle sur la Sorgue we saw a well groomed fenced in area with a wooden sign that pictured a dog with his hind leg raised.

At a dog grooming shop ' "Doggie Styles" <BR> <BR>On the back of a Septic tank truck: <BR>"We're Number One in the Number Two Business..."

This one is similar to Kathleen's posting.There is a sign at the England/Scotland Border,which says in English,French & German'Drive on the left'.As the sign was nowhere near a port or airport,and one would have to have driven a considerable distance from any direction,to get that far,by which time you would have noticed if you were on the wrong side of the road.DOH!

This is more morbid than funny, but in the Bordeaux area, France, we kept driving past these signs that had an outline of a person with a big jagged crack through their head and a number below. We were later told it showed how many pedestrian casualties had occured on that stretch of road. I don't know if this is really true but it made us nervous crossing streets!

In India-a sign before a bridge that said " Bicycles only, no elephants"

On the Pennsylvania turnpike, one of those electronic signs said "Beware of attack deer".

I kid you not a small town in Brazil called *uck. Sign of course had an arrow and distance. In the town there was a fiat dealership called *uck fiat. Very funny stories from that.

I did not read all of the posts, but so it may be here but in Key West Florida there is a cemetary that is a must see and on one of the tumb stones it read 'SEE, I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK'. This may be a little morbid, but it was written on one.

Saw "get out dum yanky" spray painted on a wall in Venice! <BR> <BR>There was a left arrow on a mountain that, if obeyed, would have sent me and my passenger careening down a cliff into the ocean in Italy (no guard rails).

My all time favorite was posted outside a shop in a souk in Aswan, Egypt. It stated, "10 out of 9 tourists shop here." Then it further inticed one to enter by claiming, "No hasseling" <BR> <BR>I also like the tempting, "Pizza Sewar" in Jordan, and even mundane, "Pizza System" in Monaco <BR> <BR>Also fun was the movie poster in New Dehli for the film "Indecent Exposure". It was a gaudily painted sign in neon colors that didn't resemble the actors whatsoever!

Just a few weeks ago, I spotted a sign in a fenced-off grassy area outside a supermarket in Shanghai: <BR> <BR>Please take care of the sleeping grass

On the Big Island of Hawaii, at the NASA observatory, a sign for a handicap bathroom, except it has a picture of an alien sitting in the wheelchair.

My church in Manhasset, NY has a minister whose real name is Rev. James Brown Only. Soon after he arrived, he was presented with a sign to reserve his official pastor's parking place: Only Jimmy Only

Many years ago on a business trip to Notingham, England. A series of signs near the road at the edge of a park read - "No Curb Crawling".<BR><BR>Having visions of children of all ages on their hands and knees traversing the curb, I asked my host what the sign meant. His response, "the park is frequented by 'ladies of the night', and the signs are meant to discourage the demand side of the business equation".

I totally forgot about this thread! Just the other day I was driving past a restaurant and on the marquee out front it said:<BR><BR>PUNISH BIN LADEN<BR>TRY OUR ZITI AND MEATBALLS

The two funniest signs I have seen are:<BR>1. In Guilin, China in Elephant Trunk Park--"We can't stand the sight of mattress fragrant grass" (in other words please keep off the grass)<BR>2. In Sweden describing a speed bump (fart hinder)

Advertisement on a small grocery store in northern Maine: "FRESH ITALIANS." I can only suppose they meant deli sandwiches....<BR>

A billboard advertising Miracle Bras (you know, the kind that gives you something where before you had none) in Madrid. It pictured a woman wearing the bra, and looking down at her breast in wonder. The caption read, "hola pequenos!" (Hello, little ones!)

Didn't actually see this sign, but heard a guy who drives by it daily on his commute into Sydney from a rural area describe it: "Drive in the manure".

Okay, also not in Europe, but this cracked me up. Back about 10 years ago, animal lover vegetarians had been posting stickers on 'Stop' signs that said "EATING ANIMALS"...so "Stop Eating Animals" was the message. Well, someone put a sticker on the 'Stop' sign near my house that said "EATING PLANTS". I thought it was hysterical. But I'm easy. :-)

When I was in Prague last year, I saw a coach which read "NOBLESS" on the side. The name of the company, I think.<BR><BR>Paul<BR>AardarkTravel.net Travel Search Engine<BR>http://www.aardvarktravel.net

OK - I cannot resist.<BR>My husband and I were in Amsterdam a few years ago during Queens Day (April 30) where the entire city shuts down and it's one big party. As we were walking around, we saw a sign for the public toilet labelled "urinor" and it was an image of a man peeing. IT WAS hysterical. I have it on video!

In my own small town in Massachusetts, a cautionary road sign with a wheelchair person, and above it, "SLOW".<BR>The quotation marks are on the sign, and that's what slays me. I interpret it differently every time I pass.

1. On a highway under construction in Mass., the "End Construction" sign had "When?" hand-written below it.<BR><BR>2. In Parc Guell, Barcelona: A pictogram with what is unmistably a pile of dog "Tootsie rolls" with the red slashed circle across it and "please!" beneath it (forgot the Catalan words for please -- por favor?).<BR><BR>3. Have you ever thought about the signs IN elevators that say "In case of fire do not use elevator"? TOO LATE!<BR>Similarly, in a Chicago hotel, I found a 20-page pamphlet with instructions about what to do in case of emergencies like break-ins and fires. The instruction to leave the room and crawl down the hall -- having memorized ahead of time where the emergency exit is -- was on page 13 or 14. I could just imagine the fire alarm going off and someone grabbing for the booklet and sitting down to start reading it.

My family posed me for a picture near Ocean City Maryland. When developed it showed arrow pointingin my direction and sign that said Big Assawoman. Name of a local body of water, apparently.<BR>

In a small town near Tulsa, Oklahoma:<BR><BR>"FIRST CHURCH OF GOD.<BR>FOR SALE BY OWNER"

In Kensignton, in a lovely little park near the Brompton Oratory: CYCLISTS DISMOUNT.<BR><BR>In the USA, the sign would read GET OFF YOUR DAMNED BIKE with a symbol of a rider and a red circle and slash through it.<BR><BR>I love the civility of the British.

I too love interesting signs. One in a Florence, Italy cafeteria was in the shape of an arrow, On it were the words<BR>Pipi room.<BR>In Nafplion Greece, a sign in a Jewellers window was in many languages, one was Goldschmuck.<BR><BR>One of my favorites is a sign on the door of a church in Ravenna, Italy was written in four languages. It Advised: THIS IS SAINT JUSTINE'S CHURCH. NOTHING MUCH TO SEE HERE. WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS ACROSS THE STREET NEXT TO THE BELL TOWER.<BR><BR>

Uh, er...<BR><BR>ROAD KILL CAFE!??????

Auto repair shop in Des Moines: "Let us shock and exhaust you."<BR><BR>Outside an ice cream shop in my neighborhood: "Stop Free Samples" (they need a comma here, I believe)

In England, near where I grew up in Suffolk, there is a road called Six Mile Bottom.<BR><BR>Which is what I'll probably have by the time I'm 40!