sfarah

I too found myself in a similar situation several years ago. I planned a trip to France and Spain to get away from all the heartache and upheaval and took my entire month of vacation time in one shot. It was the very first trip I had ever taken by myself anywhere. It was also one of the most memorable times of my life. I realized that life offers us endless opportunities to be happy and I truly believe that when one door closes another one opens. Of course do what feels most comfortable for you but I can only imagine a trip to a place you love will remind you how lucky we are to be alive and have the good health and fortune to experience all life has to offer.

Scarlett

Oh ggnga, I am sorry

I think you know best what is the right thing for you to do, but if it were me, I would rather be miserable in Paris than at home

In the Grand Scheme of things, perhaps this was all meant to be...
Big comforting hugs and best wishes, Scarlett

laclaire

I am young and have yet to marry or divorce. However, I was devastated when my boyfriend broke up with me, and it was so clear to me that I just had to leave. So I did. And I was upset and pined for a really long time. So, I stayed away. Then I left the place I had gone to. Then I went all the way back and now, I am better. I attribute that to time, but the travel really helped me. I don't know you or how you deal with things, nor do I know if you consider this a type of "running away" or not, but even if it is, sometimes you just need that.

I would go. Though a broken marriage is always a shock, there were probably things leading up to it, and perhaps putting some distance between you and that whole place will be helpful.

I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I really think that a trip to Paris and the Dordogne would be a good thing.

djkbooks

I say MOVE ON!

GO, enjoy your trip...

To quote a James Taylor song, "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." (Not wallowing or giving into "moping".)

It's just a total waste of your time/your LIFE to spend one minute of it not enjoying yourself as best you can.

You have the advantage of having traveled mostly independently and have already planned this trip "solo", anyway!

If you don't aleady, just determine that you are perfectly capable of enjoying your own company, and having a positively terrific time all by yourself.

And, now could not possibly be a better opportunity to do that.

This is absolutely the very best time to stick with your plans.

Mucky

Hi ggnga,
I cannot even begin to offer advice other than to tell you that the hearts and souls of your 'friends' on Fodors are with you whilst you try to get through this and make your decision.
Sometimes the anonymity associated with this kind of board can be a useful way of 'talking'

Good Luck and have a wonderful trip... ;-)

Muck

USNR

Now in my eighth decade, I can affirm the old saying: laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone. No words can ease pain; only you can lift your own heart. And this takes time and hard work. Build distance -- both in time and space -- between your sense of loss and your views of the past. Time will do its work. You must go.

Barbara_in_CT

By all means, travel. Keep yoursel busy seeing as many sites as possible. Living well is the best revenge plus it will give you something pleasant to talk about and thereby lift your spirits.

bellastarr

ggna-
My very first trip to Paris happened a few weeks after I had broken up with a long time love and 2 months after I had lost my father, which was a time in my life so painful that I thought I couldn't bear to breath, much less get myself to France.
Fortunately I had some wonderful friends who literally escorted me to the airport to make sure i boarded the plane. It was a solo, 3 week trip, and, while there were a couple of occasions when I had some tears, today I cherish a memory of feeling sad buying a beautiful blue silk scarf, walking along the Seine, gazing at the stained glass windows in St Chapelle, and somehow the romance of the City embraced me and helped to heal my heart in a gentle way.

There were many more uplifting days than sad moments. In matters of the heart, especially a broken heart we each have our own way to work through things, it's your personal choice. Give your son a big hug, and turn go on your journey.

It will provide you a first memory of the rich and varied new life you deserve. Best of luck to you!

Toupary

I wish I could remember who said this. "The beauty of Paris will break your heart; its joie de vivre will mend it."

Since you really love Paris, I'm sure you know what I mean. I've found, over the years, that whatever I was going through at the time, it was better to do so here.

I think you owe it to yourself to come, and, as the French say, "Vous êtes la bienvenue."

Chasteel

I think it will feed your soul and you should go.

ira

Hi gg,

Just this morning, on one of our Country Music stations (we have a lot of them here in GA), there came a song about a woman whose husband had left her and how "she had let herself go".

"Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go."

Full lyrics are at http://tinyurl.com/bbhvl

I hope that this helps.

Tallulah

Absolutely go! This hadn't been planned as a trip for the both of you so you won't be thinking 'we should be doing this' and you will have FAR more everyday reminders at home.

Go and be the fabulous independent woman that you are!

Guy18

Years ago I traveled for two weeks in Italy by myself. I found myself thinking a lot about some very sad occasions in my life that I hadn't yet had time to work through. Being in a distant place and alone is very good for that. (Not that I wallowed, but I did do some good thinking.) And travel sometimes creates a helpful boundary between the hurt and the rest of one's life. Go, and have a wonderful experience!

bev3

Hello. I just finished a book about a woman in a similar situation. "What Happens in Paris (Stays in Paris)", Nancy Robards Thompson. A fun read that might make you a little less cautious and a little more inspired. Best of luck to you and, if you go, we will all look forward to your trip report!

cigalechanta

Go! But go to see, to eat, something new, dine at new places. New memories are a wonderous, curative collection
to bring home.

DiG

Hi ggnga:

I'm sorry about your situation and I have no words of wisdom for you, just good thoughts and prayers.

I do not know you but have read several of your posts. You are a strong and independant woman who enjoys traveling and this is a planned
solo trip.

Only you know what is best. But my instinct tells me you could use this
time and space for reflection and
contemplation.

As you take in the the sounds, sights and smells of these places you enjoy so much, perhaps you will receive some comfort and peace amidst your inner turmoil.

Take care of yourself and be well,

Regards,
Di

SeaUrchin

I think only you can decide whether to go so soon after the (unexpected?) breakup.

I do believe that since you have traveled solo before you know there are ups and downs to being alone in another country. Since this was already going to be a solo trip and since you already know you love Paris you can take that into consideration.

I would probably go to a completely different place w/o memories of it being one of the special places you visited with your husband (if you did), that would be too sad.

I would prefer the different place because then I would really be venturing out towards a new life, leaving him in the dust!

But that is me.
Best wishes for you.

DonTopaz

I'd pretty much agree with those who found that it's better to feel depressed in Paris than feeling depressed at home.

That said, I'd strongly sgree with those who suggest planning things to do and places to go. Treat yourself to some special things: stay at a nicer hotel that what you'd planned, pamper yourself at a spa, at dinner go ahead and have the bottle or half-bottle that seems a little too expensive.

As one of the many posters who found themselves in Paris after a marriage split, I found that I was much happier on busy avenues and places than in parks or the Seine banks or the quieter spots. For me, it was better to sit at a sidewalk café and watch Parisians in scurry mode than to be at a park and watch Parisians in make-out mode.

Words of wisdom from Winston Churchill: <i>When you're going through hell, keep going.</i>

katkat777

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. My first trip to Paris was on the first year anniversary of my divorce!! Had a great time and it opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Oh and the day after my divorce I hopped a plane to Key West for a getaway and after everything I had gone thru it was just what I needed!!

AP6380

I am coming out of an extremely long, committed relationship. I am moving out of &quot;our&quot; apartment at the end of the month, and 3 days later leaving for Greece. This trip was already planned with a friend- the timing COULD NOT be better! Go!!!!!