Our first visit to Venice we stopped for a late lunch at a small restaurant that did not have an English language menu. Our son and I ordered pizzas. Wife wanted some sort of a pasta dish. There was one dish that appealed to her, but there was one ingredient listed that I couldn't find a translation for--I had left the book with the more extensive menu translations in our hotel room.

The waiter spoke about as much English as we did Italian--hello, goodbye, bathroom, and such. Well, through sign language and using what we all knew in Italian, German, French, and English, we came to the conclusion that the unknown substance was some sort of a sea vegetable?!?!?! What the heck, she ordered it.

Turns out the sea vegetable was some sort of a local clam, and she does love clams! Hoo-rah!

I order and Osso Bucco of the menu in a swank Prague restaurant expecting the veal shank Italian version. What I got was the Russian version which was stewed sturgeon fish, lol

Aloha!

Reverse situation.
1)Spanish tourists in the USA with me MUCHOS years ago, ordered Root Beer on a steaming muggy day( while I had gone to the bathroom).

When it came, (they thought it looked like Guiness) they took a big slurp and all quickly put down their glasses, mouths screwed around and asked," what the h*** is this stuff? Is this real American beer?"!!

2)My teenage French niece and an exchange student came with me to visit a friend in the hospital. The girls went to the cafeteria while I was chatting. They were starving.

When I came back to get them, they were still laughing.

Their request

"A jam and cheese sandwich , please".

Waitress: "JAM and cheese?".

Niece: "Yes, JAM and cheese".

W: "You really want JAM and cheese?".

N: (now quite purturbed) "Is it so difficult? Yes, just jam and cheese".

W: "OK.. What kind of jam?".

N: "Just normal York jam.

W: "YORK jam?".

N: "Yes, just NORMAL YORK jam".

W: "I'm sorry, but we don't have YORK jam. Any other kind of jam?".

N: " (urggggggg!!!) OK. Just normal jam!"

W: "OK".

So, my niece was obediently served a jam and cheese sandwich. When she got it and realized what she had put this waitress through she cracked up, and a half hour later when they were telling the story on the way home over and over again and describing the confused, incredulous expression on the girl's face, which now made sense, I could hardly drive!

Once in Italy. my bus due in five minutes, so I stepped into a coffee bar an ordered a caffe latte. The barrista said something and I just nodded, my eyes glued to the bus stop. I heard the thud as my beverage was placed before me and turned to discover my latte caffe -- warm milk with a touch of coffee. It was actually pretty good.

Early in our travels we were in a restaurant in Calais. I didn't recognize anything on the menu, but there was something called 'langue de boeuf' (I think I have that right). The only word I recognized was the boeuf, and thought how bad can that be. It was beef tongue, served with the blood drowning the chips that came with it - and it looked exactly as if they'd just cut the thing out of some poor cow they had tied up at the back of the kitchen. Couldn't eat for days.

Wow...some of these are making me want to gag!

I'm such a picky eater (sad but true) and when we travel overseas we menu shop until we find a restaurant with a menu item that we know so we don't end up with any surprises. Therefore, my worst food experience is tame compared to everyone else's, but I'll go ahead and mention it anyways. DH and I were at the Tokyo train station waiting for our train to Kyoto and we stopped in a Mr. Donut to grab some quick breakfast snacks for the journey. I pick up what looks like a cream-filled donut that has been rolled in some kind of crunchy breadcrumbs and then fried. It looked delicious and I was on vacation so I picked it up. We were on the train and I pull out my donut and take a big bite only to find out that it was stuffed with some kind of spiced meat in a very thick curry paste. Now, I like curry but this wasn't very tasty, and not a very pleasant surprise when your prepared for a nice sweet treat!

Tracy

Not gag-making at all, just embarassing.

In Switzerland, I thought I had cracked the multi-language menu code and was on safe ground with my choice...it sure sounded like 'chicken' to my ear.

So, I confidently ordered for my (trusting) friend and myself.

However, when the 'schinkenspeck' (there doesn't that sound chickeny?) came, it was glaringly apparent, it was cured pork...and my pal was Jewish!

This isn't a mistake, but it was really funny.

In Norway, we all ordered the daily special (reindeer) one time, and it came with a side dish even our Norwegian friend could not identify!

Basically, it was like a sponge had been run through a colander. Imagine spongy morsels about the size and shape of crunchy Cheetos (not the puffy baked ones). They were pale in color and spongy in texture, but not chewy, and they did not have a whole lot of flavor.

The reindeer was good, though!

>>>Neither of spoke any Italian but we figured pepperocini must be the Italian spelling for pepperoni. Wrong! We got a pizza with about 6 big yellow banana peppers on it!<<<

We had exactly the reverse experience in Tucson, Arizona. At Pizza Hut, I ordered pepperoni pizza and expected a pizza covered with spicy chiles. Instead, I got a pizza with a tasteless sausage. Huge disappointment for me and my kids!

BTW, same with chorizo in the US. In Europe, chorizo is a real sausage, very spicy. In the US, you get a dish where the chorizo is not identifiable.

Okay, lesson learned. Next time, I order Rocky Mountain oysters.

<i>In the US, you get a dish where the chorizo is not identifiable</i>

That would be true of any Mexican or Central American chorizo. That one can't be blamed on an adaptation to US palates.

Traveller1959,
Chorizo in the US is quite varied and it depends on what part of the country you are in. In Arizona and Southern California, for example, the chorizo is closer to the chorizo of the nearby parts of Mexico. Good quality chorizo should still be identifiable, however the spices used to flavor it are different from chorizo in Spain. Also, in many of the larger cities such as Chicago, Washington DC or NY you can get Spanish style chorizo very easily.

I am originally from Spain and prefer the seasoning of Spanish style (and also it seems to have a lower fat content). I have had no trouble finding it in my local grocery store.

I will be going to Paris later this year and am frantically studying food terms so I will know what I'm ordering! ;-)

Knowing no Japanese at all in Kamogawa, we ended up ordering chocolate eel for dessert...blahhhh ...We couldnt eat sashimi for some time after that

So I'm in Paris , nice bistro. I am fluent in franch, and when I travel to france operate in 'local' mode. So I order an appetizer and he comes back to say it is not available. He suggest another appetizer. I don't know what it is, but bit embarassed to ask, so I say yes. He confirms I want it, I say yes. I figure can't go wrong with food in Paris. The dish arrives and it is a gelatinous blob with strange flavour and texture. Of course, I have to finish it. To this day, I do not know what it was, but it was yuck.

I will now be buying a menu translation book (or pocket card of some kind) for my trip to Italy at the end of the month--never thought I wouldn't be able to "figure" things out until reading these postings! If anyone has any suggestions for some small lightweight guide--much appreciated! :-)

I was in the Greek Islands (Crete) and after a long day of walking was starving. I sat down at a nice little street cafe and was thrilled when the waiter spoke english. I asked him what one item was and he gave me a long explanation, I asked for a description of a 2nd item and he again complied. When I asked for a third item he threw his hands in the air yelling at me that it "is greek" and mumbled a bunch of things as he stormed away. I was trying not to laugh until I realized I wasn't sure if he was returning or not. He eventually did return with my drink in hand. I said I would have a number 1 please. I have no idea what type of "stew" this was but I ate it all and didn't ask anymore questions--I lucked out in that it wasn't half bad!...and he didn't yell at me anymore :-)

I did not read this first time around and am amazed how so many dislike certain foods these days. My mom cooked tripe, smelts, sardines, artichokes eggplants, squid, octopus and so much more. I guess in my youth, I thought everyone ate like that :) Now as an adult, I run into more people who do not eat those things.

At a Chinese restaurant in exotic Rockville,MD the menu had a section in Chinese characters. I pointed to one item and asked the waiter what it was - he answered "red duck." Well, I like duck so I ordered it. It turned out to be clotted duck's blood.

In Segovia, Spain I ordered two items from the chalkboard without a clue as to what they were. I was served a plate of squid in ink and sausage. Not bad actually.

In the mid 1990's we visited the Czech Republic, Poland, Hunagry, and Austria. Whatever we ordered in Poland and Czech Republic we got the other. At that time, all the food looked the same and tasted the so it did not matter much.

I ordered "parmentier de canard" at le Grand Café Capucines (near Opera Garnier) but they brought me dry boring chicken-- twice! The first time it was sent back; by the time the waiter came back <i>again</i> with the wrong dish, I was running so late for the theater (and this was supposed to be one of their pre-theater special menus) that I didn't have time to argue or send it back again. I don't believe it was a miscommunication-- I bet they were just running low on the more interesting specials and decided to dump something else on me thinking a tourist wouldn't know the difference between chicken and duck.

I actually wouldn't have minded as much if they had substituted some weird mystery food instead, even Michel_Paris's gelatinous blob I would have been willing to at least try once, but get plain dry boring chicken when I had ordered something I couldn't get at home really made me mad.

Italy - ordered something I thought had to to do with red pepper and turned out to be salted sardine. I'll try anything but I couldn't do that one.
Spain - ordered flaminquines (how could anything with such a lovely name be anything but good?) and got a spanish version of a corn dog.

You don't need to leave the US to run into a food problem. I love soft shell crab, preferably salted and cooked Vietnamese style with hot peppers. But years ago, in some roadside dive on Cape Hatteras, my wife and I both ordered "soft-shell crab sandwiches".

When they arrived, they proved to be made with a round "bulky" roll cut in half. The bottom of the roll was stacked with lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and a breaded deep-fried crab. This was then topped with the top of the roll.

I'm sorry to report that Margie just couldn't take the appearance of the sandwich, with all the little feet sticking out of the roll in every direction. I ate both of them (I thought they were great), and Margie ordered something else.

Alas, Margie later in life developed an allergy to shellfish, and now can't eat crab at all.

By the way, if anyone is looking for a French-English food dictionary, I think the best one is free. You can find it on the Patricia Wells web site, at:

http://www.patriciawells.com/glossary/atoz/glossary.htm

I carry the "Word" version on my PDA.

- Larry

Our first trip to France, our first night in Paris. Arrived at our hotel about 9 p.m. Thought we would go out and have an appetizer and glass of wine before going to bed. We went to a small local bistro, and ordered pate avec trois fromage. Thought we would get some pate with three different cheeses.Perfect. The waitress looked at us a little odd, but took the order. She then brought out the macaroni and cheese. We looked at it and pretended that it was exactly what we wanted.
And then there is andouillette.(sp)

In a very small town in northern Japan, we ordered the "local specialties" menu. Inago = Grasshopper. Crunchy.

I never experienced or saw this when I lived in Norway, but I had plenty of friends who did:

Knowing that Europeans don't put much ice in their drinks, Americans visiting or moving to Norway would learn the phrase "med is" (may ees) - with ice.

What they didn't know, however, was that "is" is also shorthand for "iskrem" (ice cream). Imagine their surprise when they ordered Cokes "med is" and received Coke floats (made with soft serve) rather than sodas with lots of ice cubes!

<i>Americans visiting or moving to Norway would learn the phrase "med is" (may ees) - with ice</i>

Their attempt to speak the language is laudable, but in our recent travels in Norway we never met anyone who did not speak at least passable English, and most of the people spoke excellent English.

Michael,

This was 20 years ago - although admittedly even then much of the population spoke at least some English.

But obviously the Americans were understood, because they got what they ordered. It just wasn't what they expected! (They should have used "isbiter" = ice cubes instead of "is" = ice.)

Incidentally, I still remember enough of the Norwegian I learned to carry on a conversation, and when I meet people from Norway they are always pleased at the effort I make to speak to them in their native tongue - not to mention a bit surprised, given how few Norwegian speakers (on a realtive basis, at least) there are in the world.

This is funny but not gross. Last fall in Montignac in the Dordogne, we stopped at a little cafe on the river for lunch. They had a sandwich americano listed on the menu- so we ordered two expecting a sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes. What we got was a sandwich (ham, I think) with french fries on the sandwich! We laughed the whole time we were eating - never had the fries on the sandwich before!

I've found that the ability of people to speak foreign languages is more or less inversely proportional to the usefulness of their own language outside their country.

Hence the general weakness of Americans in foreign languages. English is so widely spoken that Americans don't need to learn other languages. This also explains the weakness of the French in foreign languages. Historically, French was also widely spoken world-wide. As English has risen and French has declined as an international language, the French are catching on, and starting to learn more English.

In general, the Scandinavians are great with foreign languages, since their own languages are relatively useless once they set foot outside their own countries. It seems to me that the Finns are the champs - their English is often so perfect that they sound British.

OK, I'd better include something on-topic. Here's an old trilingual joke (I don't think this ever really happened):

Two Germans sat down at a café in Paris shortly after the end of World War II. One of them spoke French very well, so he decided to order, in the hopes that the waiter wouldn't recognize that they were German. When the waiter arrived, he asked for "<i>deux Martini</i>." You may recall that "Martini" in France is the name of a vermouth (as in "Martini & Rossi").

But languages being as tricky as they are, the waiter detected in those two words the hint of an accent. Eyeing his customers, he decided that they were probably Americans! But that meant, the savvy waiter decided, that they might really not want two glasses of vermouth. Perhaps they wanted an <i>American</i> martini, made with gin and just a small amount of vermouth - often called a "dry martini". And so the waiter asked, "dry?"

To which the second German, without thinking, replied, "<i>Nicht drei, zwei!</i>"

By the way, I have actually seen an American order a "martini" in France, and be surprised when he got a glass of vermouth.

Just as we received the keys for our rental car in Rome, my mother remembered that she forgot to take her pills. This was important, so we rushed across the street to a bar. Since she must (in her mind) take her pills with cold milk we struggled to make our order and promptly went outside to wait at a table in the hot sun. The waiter came out with a perfect espresso, a glass of milk and a very strange look on his face. We realized why when my mother took her first pill and almost choked on her milk. To this day I'm sure the waiter is still wondering why those crazy ladies wanted steamed milk in a glass. It was a priceless moment!

<i>This also explains the weakness of the French in foreign languages. Historically, French was also widely spoken world-wide. As English has risen and French has declined as an international language, the French are catching on, and starting to learn more English.</i>

Possibly, but I would say that people from Latin countries are generally less likely to be speaking English, the French just had an excuse.

justretired--That same "martini" exists in Italy, and gets the same reaction from Americans.

ellenem, I think that same "martini" exists in Italy because in fact it <i>is</i> Italian, even when it's served in France.

For a while, I thought, the French resisted learning English because they resented the fact that English was supplanting French as a the international <i>lingua-franca</i>.

I wonder how we'll do when English gets supplanted by Mandarin Chinese, or whatever comes next. It really would help if we could reform our *%&#&%^ spelling.

The first time I was in France (OK, folks, I have to admit it was in 1960), the family I stayed with had helpfully bought me some American-style cereal for breakfast. When I told them that it was usually served with milk, they gave me a glass of boiled milk.

When I said that the milk was usually served cold, the next day they tried a glass of boiled milk that had been cooled to room temperature. That was as cold as they could get it, since, it turned out, they didn't have a refrigerator or even an ice box. They just shopped for fresh food every day, buying only the amount that they planned to eat.

And the milk needed to be boiled, because it wasn't Pasteurized. Wasn't Pasteur French?

That was the trip that made me fascinated with travel.

- Larry

justretired,

your story is really truthful.

We are Germans, and when we visited New Orleans and waited for our table in a restaurant (Commanders Palace), DW wanted a straight Martini - a vermouth made by Martini. The barkeeper kept on asking with vodka or with gin, and I tried to explain "just straight Martini2 and I pointed to a bottle of Martini but the barkeeper did not understand. Finally I succeeded to get DW a glass of straight Martini, but it was a very hard job.

For us Europeans, it is very hard when Americans misinterpret European words like "Martini". Another problem is "entree". "Entree" is a French word and means "starter", but Americans think it means "main course" (in French "plat") which causes a lot of confusion, both for Americans and in Europe and for Europeans in America.

<i>Martini & Rossi</i> is just one brand of sweet vermouth, and it also produces dry vermouth and Bianca (white sweet vermouth). So one could argue that one should not expect just sweet vermouth when saying Martini.

The classic Italian martini is with Martini Bianca and a wedge of lemon. A bottle costs only about $8 in NYC, so I can go on vacation anytime with my favorite aperitivo.

In Segovia just a couple weeks ago ... my husband, who speaks no Spanish at all, ordered what he thought was going to be a pork chop (I told him it wasn't that, but he didn't listen).

When the plate arrived, whatever the dark brown mass was, it jiggled. My husband said it was basically a huge glob of fat covered with gravy.

He asked the waiter for a translation into English, and he brought us a menu, identifying the food as "chin-strap."

Yikes!

Traveller1959, I've always been intrigued by the word "entrée". In French, it clearly means "entrance", and hence is used for the first course of a meal.

The current Wikipedia entry ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrée )says:

An <b>entrée</b> (pronounced <b>on-tray</b>)(French, literally meaning <i>entry</i> or <i>entrance</i>) is one of several savoury courses in a Western-style formal meal service, specifically a smaller course that precedes the main course. Usage may differ in North America where the disappearance in the early 20th century of a large communal main course such as a roast as a standard part of the meal has led to the term being used to describe the main course itself. In that case what would otherwise be called the entrée is called the <b>first course</b>, <b>appetizer</b> or a <b>starter</b>.

There's a bit more discussion as to how the evolution of the word proceeded. But it certainly has been the cause of a great deal of confusion.

- Larry

In Novigrad, Istria (Croatia) a couple of months ago, I thought I was ordering grilled Abalone. The waiter reminded me of "Manuel" from Fawlty Towers. I took a couple of bites of some breaded thing that came to my table, and then I went and found a young waitress, because everybody under 35 in Croatia speaks pretty good English. I asked her to come identify what was on my plate. It was Weiner Schnitzel...... LOL.

A very hot lunchtime in Parma, and we are happy to find a table in an obviously popular trattoria. The menu is full of unfamiliar words but we are always willing to give new foods a try. We order, relax with our drinks, and watch food delivered to another table, at which point my then rudimentary Italian kicks in, and I realise that I have ordered a local speciality of horsemeat tartar.