Thank you all for the great feedback and advice. We are going to rebook with a U.S. carrier because it seems like the safest route to go given how mobile our daughter is...

We will either take United through Frankfurt (interestingly, UA has reserved seats for our daughter on Lufthansa planes for the Frankfurt to FLR portion of the trip and who knows what will happen when we actually check in for those flights but at least she will be in her own seat for the longer transcontinental flights), or we will take American Airlines through Chicago to ROME, or Delta through Cincinnati to Rome.

We can upgrade on United to BIZ class at least from SFO to FRA, but we have no chance of upgrading on the other airlines.

My hesitation with United has always been people complaining about their "older" planes. Is this a legit concern?

Do you think UA, AA, and DELTA are equally safe or is one a better airline than the others?

thanks again!

When are you traveling and what is your itinerary within Italy so that we can help you?

Two years ago we flew United Airlines round trip from SFO to Rome - the SFO to Frankfurt leg was on United - everything else was Lufthansa, but all booked through United. I thought the most comfortable, as well as best service onboard, was the United portion of the trip. Can't recall what model jet it was, but definitely not old and uncomfortable.