hopingtotravel

After 35 years of marriage I know my husband's travel habits pretty well. Several times on trips with a street of small shops we tend to split up to pop in an out of the shops that interest us. I don't have perfect eyesight so not spotting him further down the street has sometimes led to brief panic. At other times he disappears and I'm supposed to "know" to look in the nearest pub. Now with terrorism concerns, and knowing that he doesn't speak a word of French, should I give him an ultimatum to stay with me?

Betsy

Somewhere in the early years of my 30-year marriage, I realized that ultimatums (?ultimata) aren't conducive to a good relationship. When we travel, we specify a place to meet, such as at the end of the street or some other landmark close by. If all else fails, and we can't find each other, we both know to go back to our hotel to meet.

pipsil

We had the same problem and it can be quite unnerving. We solved it by buying walkie talkies. You only need one [or rather two as they naturally come in sets of two] that covers a short distance but what a relief!

janis

I agree w/ Betsy -- when you go to a shopping district, or a large museum, etc - pick a place and a time to meet back up.

Making ultimatums and forcing him to stick to you so you will be comfortable - even if he might be bored to tears - doesn't seem like a recipe for wedded bliss.

TopMan

Another method is to agree that whenever this sort of circumstance arises that you will meet at the last place you were both together.

This has worked for me on several occasions. Not sure it will help with any other underlying issues, however.

Good luck.

hopingtotravel

Thanks for some good ideas. Glad I'm not the only one. We have tried walkie-talkies in a few cities and found the buildings blocked them. We eventually found each other. I guess my main concern is: is it safe to separate? especially in Paris? Looking back, I guess this was sometimes necessitated. I walked down the hill at Tintagel, Cornwall and 2 hours down the Kaibob trail at the Grand Canyon by myself because his knee was bothering him.

SuzieC

Yes I believe its safe. Lots and lots of women live there, of all ages.
Alone. When I have travelled with someone else, the separate and meet back at XYZ at whatever time is the way I do it. But I thought the walkie-talkie idea was really terrific!

Tulips

You'll be absolutely fine in Paris. I really don't think it is any more dangerous than any city in the US, probably less so. It's just not as familiar. Just arrange to meet somewhere as has been suggested here; preferably a nice cafe nearby!

MelJ

Perhaps I'm not "getting" it. Why do you think that being separated in Paris is less "safe" than anywhere else? Do you fear one of you being targeted for crime because you're alone? If that's the case, you should never go ANYWHERE alone! Crime happens everywhere but certainly not more so on Paris streets or in Paris shops (now the metro is another story

WillTravel

It's safe to separate in Paris. I think it will be a lot easier on your nerves if you don't have to try to go around guessing where he might be.

Consider having both of you wear a moneybelt with an emergency stash. This wouldn't be for ordinary use, but in the unlikely case you needed to take a taxi back to the hotel after being pickpocketed, for example.

nytraveler

don'tmean to be rude - but this is really scary! Don;t you ever go anywhere by yourself? I can;t imagine a 2-week vacation being tied to anyone for the whole time - we frequently do different things for a morning or afternoon (we're very compatible but really - no two people have exactly the same interests). Just agree where and when to meet - a restaurant? the hotel??

Travelnut

Walkie-talkies manufactured under USA frequencies are illegal to operate in Europe. The US frequency/band happens to be the one Europe uses for public safety and emergencies. You can buy European-freq. walkie-talkies to use legally there (but not in USA).

WillTravel

I'd suggest two cell phones rather than walkie-talkies, if you are insistent on being able to communicate at all times.

Travelnut

I know how hopingtotravel feels. My husband is a 'wing-it' guy, and I am a planner. I have to drill him on the hotel names and addresses, or at least what the nearest metro is, so if we are separated or he gets lost on his own, he knows <i>where</i> the hotel is. On the first morning of our first Amsterdam trip, I was able to board a crowded tram going to Anne Frank house, but he didn't get on. Moment of panic, then I got off and waited at a corner. He came walking up, following the tram track. Sheesh.
Hopingtotravel is talking about an unplanned separation, not one where it is decided, &quot;I'm going shopping, you go wander around. See you back at hotel at 4:00&quot;.

ira

Hi Hope,

&gt;Now with terrorism concerns, and knowing that he doesn't speak a word of French, should I give him an ultimatum to stay with me?&lt;

No. Do give him a metro ticket and the card from the hotel with its address.

pipsil

Travelnut,
We actually bought our walkie talkies at Heathrow the moment we arrived. The idea came to me on the plane! Does that mean we are not permitted to use them at home? We are hardly likely to use them here but I'd like to know.

degas

Its a real jungle out there in those wild, dangerous streets of Paris!

Link his fanny pack to yours and make sure he covers you at all times with his sidearm! A refresher course in judo would also be prudent. You never know when some crazed shop girl might attack you for messing up a pile of shirts!

Travelnut

Do you still have the information that is usually packed with electronic stuff..? It might comment on the frequency/approved use. Or google the brand name and see if you can find out. I couldn't find the websites a minute ago to back up my statement, but had searched a few months ago. I have faint recollection that it would be the same problem here w/Europe freq. but I can't say for sure.

TOMI

We are ready to leave for London &amp; Paris next week and were planning to bring our walkie talkies. Glad to hear that they should not be used. Can you rental similar equipment in Europe or is it better to rent a cellphone. My husband and I like to go our separate ways, too, and found the walkie talkie idea in getting back in touch with each other.

oakglen

My wife and I do NOT shop together; Paris is an ideal local to split up temporarily as there are more bars/cafes per block than in any city we have visited. Just agree up front on which bar and a rough time to meet. Tell him to order &quot;un grand pression, s.v.p.&quot; at the bar (prices are lower when you stand at the bar versus sitting at a table)and you should do fine. JP