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Fall italian honeymoon

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Honeymoon in Italy in early October. We have 12 days in Italy. We definitely want to see Rome and were hoping to spend 4 days there.
Other interests: Love Tuscany, wineries, great food. The idea of staying in a private apt or villa appeals to us most. We want to go to markets and get fresh produce and bread and enjoy relaxing lunches after sightseeing.
We want to sip wine on a balcony or patio enjoying a great view after seeing the sights all day.
The coast is also very appealing to us. We thought about Positano, but an earlier post has us questioning our first ideas about going there...
We prefer no hotels except for a short stay.
So- with a wide open schedule...what advice can you give us? What itinerary would you set?

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