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Europe Summer 2019
Hello everyone! Sorry I cannot be as active as I would like to respond to your great advice due to school and work. Lets get straight to it. This summer my cousin and I (both 18) want to go to Europe for a week (max 2). We mainly want to see Paris and a few German Cities. Is there any way that we could convince our parents to let us go alone? Anything helps as always thank you! And if you need me to be more specific let me know. |
My advice is to do your homework (by researching your options with guidebooks and on-line resources) and then show your parents that you have been responsible in your planning. That would mean putting together a plan and a budget based on your interests, documented by guidebook information, and supported by preliminary searches of key on-line resources (e.g., for transportation and lodging).
And make sure you fully understand your parents' reasons for any objections they have, which may have nothing to do with their assessments of your capability to travel independently. |
>> Is there any way that we could convince our parents to let us go alone?<<
We don't know your parents and even though many of us helped you (a LOT) on your previous trip, we don't 'know' you either. We don't know what might convince them. That being said -- you and your friend are adults . . . unless you expect your parents to pay for your trip, you can just do it. You really don't need their permission. There are more issues to weigh than just if your parents are paying or not -- but basically if you are paying you can go wherever you want. |
1) Why do you need parental permission?
2) Do you have enough of your own money to do this? 3) If in doubt the US is far more dangerous to visit than Germany or France. The roads are safer per km driven and the number of mass killings per head of population is far less. Emergency medical services are either free at the point of use or virtually free. The downside, repatriation costs of the injured might be high but then take out insurance which you should do as soon as possible after booking any part of the trip 4) Since you are going to cities that tourists go to then a large number of people will speak English so, though your educational system is relatively third world, and at best you are only bilingual you will be able to talk to staff/other young people. (tongue in cheek, but note that many Americans are only monolingual while most of their European contemporaries will be at least bilingual if not trilingual or better.) 5) Education, blah blah blah, yeah right. 6) Sex opportunities are more likely to be safe as sex education is sensible in these countries, see note about the USA having a third world education... :-) Of course, it also means that if you ever get to an American University you can claim bragging rights along the "last time I was in Paris" line, therefore, opening up (see start of 6) 7) Finally, and a corker, "do you trust me enough to let me go to Europe with Fred?" or "we've worked out a budget to do the following and if you lent us X we could do it if you trust us enough?" are really critical. So now you need to know about how much all this will cost. Why not break it down and send us an idea of likely costs and we can help knock the figures down a bit? |
If you parents are paying for the trip, then I would recommend planning it out day by day.
What you plan to do each day How much it will cost How you plan to get from city to city Where you will be staying And anything else you think would be pertinent for your parents to know. Be prepared to answer any and all questions they may have, and if you don't know the answer to a question, be honest, and tell them you will do the research to find out and get back to them. If youare paying for it, just go for it. Since you are/will be 18, you don't need their permission. Although you probably want to talk to them about it, just out of respect. |
At 18 you're adults. It doesn't matter what prejudices your parents hold. If you have the money get on an airplane and go wherever you want.
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Originally Posted by bilboburgler
(Post 16871555)
1) Why do you need parental permission?
2) Do you have enough of your own money to do this? 3) If in doubt the US is far more dangerous to visit than Germany or France. The roads are safer per km driven and the number of mass killings per head of population is far less. Emergency medical services are either free at the point of use or virtually free. The downside, repatriation costs of the injured might be high but then take out insurance which you should do as soon as possible after booking any part of the trip 4) Since you are going to cities that tourists go to then a large number of people will speak English so, though your educational system is relatively third world, and at best you are only bilingual you will be able to talk to staff/other young people. (tongue in cheek, but note that many Americans are only monolingual while most of their European contemporaries will be at least bilingual if not trilingual or better.) Why not break it down and send us an idea of likely costs and we can help knock the figures down a bit? dads friend lives closeby and was showing us around, but we stayed in the CVJM Hotel by the city square which had amazing breakfast. My father has many friends in Germany that can ‘look out’ for us and help my parents feel more comfortable. However, in paris we have nobody so its a bit more challenging. Overall, I need a miracle for this to happen, but I am hoping for you all to provide one haha. :) |
<<he knows that the people aren’t as mean as people make them out to be. Also if i stay in the hotels that my dad and I did before, maybe he would be more comfortable in knowing that hes familiar with it.>>
Your dad is narrow-minded, to say the least. Buy your air tickets, walk out the door, go to the airport, get on the plane and go. Your parents will get over it. |
OK -- I'm not being mean here but just from this distant view . . . It sounds somewhat like it isn't just your parents who still think of you as a child. Your post sounds like it was written by a very young teenager, not and adult . . . but at 18 you are an adult. Now I know there are mature 18 yo's and 'young' 18 yo's and different family dynamics. But still - based on what you posted you have some work to do on yourself - not just how to convince your parents it is OK. For one . . . why do you think your parents MUST approve, give 'permission'? There are 18 yo's in Afghanistan - and 18 yo's living on their own - and 18 yo's who have opened their own businesses. And you are asking a bunch of strangers how to talk your parents into 'letting you travel'.
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Your dad is narrow-minded, to say the least. Buy your air tickets, walk out the door, go to the airport, get on the plane and go. Your parents will get over it.>
And come home and find you are expected to pay rent or move out? No do not take the in-your-face tactic StCirq advocated but yes show them you have the trip outlined and places to stay reserved ahead of time and train tickets too and you have phones with you so you can always call them or v.v. It's hard for some parents to cut the umbilical cord but don't just say f you and storm out the door. The worst advice possible. Maybe get Let's Go Europe written by college students and show parents the coverage they have of hostels, etc. And trains are great and booking them in advance means no problems - www.seat61.com has loads of booking own tickets -general info European trains check BETS-European Rail Experts and www.ricksteves.com. Possible itinerary: Land in Paris Take train to Germany fly home from say Berlin or Munich or Frankfurt. |
" So he knows that the people aren’t as mean as people make them out to be "
Oh, boy. People are lovely, they are the same species as you and everything. Plus they had parents too! I'd just chill on this whole "people are mean" way of looking at life. Try, "I want to go to Europe to meet all the nice people who live there (see my notes about sex and safety)" Yep, go with a simple list of where you are staying and do not offer up "stay with a friend of Dad's" then let M&D reorganise that you can stay with a friend and by then they will be sucked in. I might also go down one grade on Ibis to let them push you up to Ibis standard (BTW the IBIS has three levels :-) ) |
Your parents (and your Aunt/Uncle) know you and your cousin best. If they were worried about you at a weekend cabin, something tells me that they are worried about your maturity level. Or, maybe they're just protective. I don't know and I don't want to assume - I can only base it on your description and how you're writing about the situation.
Hate to break it to you, but parents worry. And they will worry about you until they die. I'm 40 and travel solo at times - my parents STILL demand I check in with them when I travel - every day. Heck, they expect me to call them when I get home from a weekend visit to them 2 hours away. While yes, you and your cousin are adults and legally can do just about whatever you want within legal limits, including leaving the country. But, are you going to abide by the laws of the countries you're visiting? Are you (will you) research the laws of said countries? Do you act in a trustworthy manner every day while at home? You will say yes, of course, you're 18 and might think you know everything and are impervious. But, are you? The very fact that you came on here to ask for advice to "convince" your parents to go on a vacation tells me you're not ready to go with another 18 year old. But, I don't know you... Whatever ends up happening - please act responsibly and have fun. |
How would we know what would convince your Mom? With everything you and he did on the trip last year I'm sort of surprised your Dad specifically needs 'convincing'.
You don't need 'permission' to buy a car, or rent an apartment, or join the military, or get married . . . or travel to Europe. >>The very fact that you came on here to ask for advice to "convince" your parents to go on a vacation tells me you're not ready to go with another 18 year old.<< Absolutely. |
Lmao you people need to relax a bit. I asked this just to get some tips that I have not thought of myself already. I was not expecting lectures from people, but some of you did actually help so thank you for that. I am responsible enough, know the laws, and abide by them I just have protective parents and wanted to see what else I can convince them with. |
Yes some elderly Fodorgarchs forget when they were 18 - My first trip to Europe was at 20 and though I had earned the money and decided to go my parents were very worried so I took steps to allay their fears - same as OP is asking - not folks passing severe judgments on her and her maturity.
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You sound so much like our own daughter, and just as mature. Fortunately, she didn't "ask" to take such a trip when she was 18, because we also loved her as much as your parents love you. But, had she asked, we would have undoubtedly said yes (or given her the blessing she would have wanted and that you obviously are looking for), even if we certainly would have been apprehensive. Our baby is now 30-something, and we still worry when she travels the world. Your love for your parents is obvious, and it's a sign of added maturity that is often lacking in someone your age. Show your parents this thread. Seriously. It will allow them to see what others think, and they will see that your thoughts and maturity stand out in this sea of intelligent and well-travelled adults from all over the world.
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Originally Posted by whitehall
(Post 16872016)
Show your parents this thread. Seriously. It will allow them to see what others think, and they will see that your thoughts and maturity stand out in this sea of intelligent and well-travelled adults from all over the world.
Thank you so much for this wonderful response. I am blessed to have loving parents that have sacrificed so much for the opportunities I have been provided. I am in no doubt that my parents love me very much and their happiness comes from my health and happiness. And experiencing a lot of hardships and tragedies in the past, I can understand my parent’s sheltering of myself as they want to prevent what they have experienced. I had a long talk with them last night and they are starting to ease up on the idea. Most people my age are growing disconnected from their family and grow apart which saddens me deeply. I have always known about forums on the internet, but would never imagine using one. Oh how much was I oblivious to the amount of care people actually have for each other, in person or online. |
Rent the movie Taken. They will certainly agree to Paris at 18 after that movie, for sure.
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Even if you had not had kind words for me (and those were very much appreciated), your response is one of the more thoughtful ones I have seen on Fodors. Besides your reminding me of our own daughter, your parents sound a lot like us or at least how we were when raising a family: traditional, loving but strict. “Letting go” is a difficult process for loving parents. But a trip like this could be, even for your parents, the way, for them also, to take the plunge. Keep after them. I think you will be going.
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Man I just wish there was a time machine so I can go back to the 70’-80’s. It would be the greatest thing in the world to go to either a Led Zeppelin, Queen, Fleetwood Mac, or Eric Clapton concert. My uncle has been to an ACDC concert and said it was the greatest experience in his life. Especially Europe at that time, all the disco bars and social anti-conformity. I wish there were still places like that now. |
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