cathies

Well now I'm just straight out jealous, what a fabulous itinerary!! I love Paris and I'm glad that you are spending quite a bit of time there. The nights are lovely as it won't be properly dark until 10 or 11 at night. We often went for a walk in the evenings and it was definitely our favourite time. Paris in the twilight is very beautiful, I live in Sydney and we don't have that here.

Have you read some posts about which transport tickets to get etc? There is lots of information here if you search for it.

I got caught out on the metro in Paris and ended up with most of the carriage of Parisien commuters laughing at me. I got confused about the stop we needed and tried to get off while my friend pulled me back. The commuters were grumpy as there was 5 of us with luggage and it was 5pm on a Friday and of course, the train was packed. The locals all looked quite aloof and did sort of sneer at me (I deserved it). I then commented to my girlfriend that at least they all knew we had to get off soon at which point the French all burst out laughing!! Those devils all knew what I was talking about the whole time!

PeaceOut

Thanks for commenting on my experience at the Parisian bakery. I don't think there was a number system, because I had been in queue for a few minutes, and had observed how the people ahead of me had successfully ordered.

And I don't think I was misunderstood, because I believe I my sentence was correct, I pointed to the croissant I wanted in the case, and I actually have a very good French accent so I know I pronounced it correctly. The only thing I am wondering is if the "Je voudrais" is too familiar? I don't think it is.

Oh, well, I loved Paris. This is not to say we experienced this type of behavior routinely while there. I can't wait to go back there, spend more time without an itinerary and just wander around.

Pvoyageuse

Another "rule" : don't call people by their first name unless invited to do so.

Michel_Paris

Yes, politeness is 'amped' up when there. I also catch the eye of a waiter before grabbing a table. Cheque will not be brought to table until requested...essentially, the table is yours until you decide to leave. And, when at an outdoor market, let the vendor pick out the fruits and veg for you..don't like when you squeeze the goods.

My BIL was an expat in Paris. Every morning you would shake the hand of all your co-workers and wish them good day (and remember their name!). Poor form to miss anyone.

rs899

Just don't ever forget the "bonjour". We had some minor emergency with the turnstiles in the Metro and, in the heat of the moment I forgot the "bonjour". I was completely ignored until I figured it out....

StCirq

I think you've got a good handle on the etiquette, but 4 nights in St-Emilion? WHY?

mztery

the most important tip I received was

when oyu enter a store or resto do NOT just say "Bonjour" - say "Bonjour madame/mademoiselle/monsieur" as the case may be. "Bonjour" by itself sounds like "hey you" to most French people.

We noticed the difference between our first and subsequent trips with just this small change.

Underhill

Pick up a copy of Polly Platt's excellent, and funny, book "French or Foe." That will give you many good pointers.

And BTW, keep your hands on the table when eating.

Cathinjoetown

Peaceout,

Je voudrais is not too familiar, it's considered in part an expression of politesse because you are saying "I would like" rather than "I want".

I live very far from Paris--the norm here is most definitely, "Bonjour madame or monsieur." This is followed by many pleases and thank-yous and bonjournees before you are out the door, also comments on the weather, etc. I love it!

Because this is a small town, it's usual to wait politely while greetings, kisses and short-ish conversations are carried on between the shop owner and customers he or she knows.

StCirq

Je voudrais isn't "familiar." It's the conditional future tense and is what one would normally say. Now, if you used "tu," that would be too familiar.

Nikki

I am always amused by the ceremony involved in leaving a shop. Thank you. No, it is I who thank you. Au revoir. Have a good day. At some point I just leave, because I don't know enough pleasantries to keep going.

SonomaPinot

Merci to all of you for your helpful suggestions!

StCirq, it's 4 nights in St-Emilion because we are staying with friends. And my DH loves Bordeaux red wines. (I lean toward Burgundy myself, but will try anything).

dlejhunt

Yes, "Je voudrais" (I would like) is the conditional tense and it is the polite way to order. I did teach this to my children and they were able to order in restaurants by themselves. This was much appreciated by the serveurs/serveuses who just seem to really like kids. I have heard "Je veux..." (I want) from people ordering in restaurants but I assume those who ordered in this manner were French - I would not dare.

And also, je suis d'accord (I agree) "Bonjour monsieur/madame/mademoiselle" is best.

Yes, yes, yes, please "vous" to everyone. On our way to Paris for the first time we shared a van with another American woman who tried to have a conversation in French with the French driver. Her language skills were pretty good but as soon as she used the familiar "tu" with him he stopped talking. Everyone in Paris is "vous" to me (well, kids are "tu" but they generally don't like talking to strange American women who speak French with a terrible accent.)

SonomaPinot

cathie, I didn't realize it would be light 'til so late at night, how fun! Maybe an evening cruise on the Seine is in order.

Thanks for the tip about reading up on the posts; I'll check it out. I've read some of the items under the Paris Travel Guide here at fodor's. In fact that's what led me to start this post about etiquette; I found the article too vague, and I needed more info.

Btw, I liked your funny story about the Metro, too!

SonomaPinot

A note about "Je voudrais" vs. "Je veux":
The French language DVD I bought from Fluenz teaches its students to say "Je Veux". For 2 months I've been practicing this at home. But after reading several people's posts, I will be using "Je voudrais". However, I'm not sure how it is pronounced ... voo-dray?

kerouac

Yes, exactly.

lauralamb

I think if you behave the way you behave in any American city you will be just fine. America is a sophisticated country. Stop thinking of yourselves as the country cousins coming up to the big town.

cigalechanta

Yes, you can be yourself if yourself is polite. Always greet the person in French with hello and goodbye and thank you..
I found people in Provence and the Vienne smile much more than in Paris. I found it true in Languedoc.
But Even Paris and other areas of France have rude people as we do.The most grating criticisms I heard was how loud talking we Americans tend to be. Never a word about sneakers or smiling.I don't know many who smile constantly unless the were retarded but I met alot of loud persons. But I can say the same for other country tourists. We had to check out of a hotel in Alsace because of loud after hour Germans. We sat opposite a loud British woman in the Alps. No country has a liscence on bad behavior.

avalon

Funny article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worl...better-do.html

They pride themselves on moaning and complaining. But I love them anyway, each and everyone of them!

hanl

"I am always amused by the ceremony involved in leaving a shop. Thank you. No, it is I who thank you. Au revoir. Have a good day. At some point I just leave, because I don't know enough pleasantries to keep going."

And don't forget the whole timetable for the pleasantries that must be exchanged:

Morning, until noon: Bonne journée
Noon till around four pm: Bon après-midi
Four pm till around sixish: Bonne fin d'après-midi
Six pm onwards: Bonne soirée
On Friday afternoons or Saturday mornings: Bon weekend
On Sundays, till early afternoon: Bon dimanche

Obviously there is some flexibility but you wouldn't say bonne journée at 4pm, and you never say bonne nuit unless somebody is literally going to bed.

It took me ages to get the hang of it. Zhere I work these pleasantries must be exchanged every time one shares the lift (elevator) with somebody.