Englishmen (and Englishbints)! It's St George's Day - how will you be marking our national day?
 

Yes today is our national day. Usually this is marked by complete indifference. However there is a rising tide of English nationalism abroad (mainly this takes the form of moaning about how much the Scots cost us). So is anyone marking the day?

I will be doing some traditional English things. I had a Cornish pastie for lunch and will be drinking a couple of pints of traditional English beer later. I might even have a traditional English curry or a traditional English kebab.

Of course I could mark the day by making a special effort to do something traditionally English - like go to IKEA or a salsa class ( I seem to be the only person I know who doesn't go to these).

So fellow inhabitants of the good bit of the Sceptered Isle. How do you intend to mark the saints day of our Libyan patron saint?

First, it isn't our national day. We don't have one, and we don't need one.

Even if we did, using a probably non-existent saint from 2,000 miles away as the symbol of Europe's most irreligious nation would be pretty damn eccentric, even by our standards.

So I'm marking the day in the only way a proper Englishman can. With complete indifference.

I like the idea of there a rising tide of English nationalism abroad. Abroad?

As we all know God is an Englishman and anyone born English has already won the most important race (sic) so not a lot of interest in St Georges. Still we share him with Portugal and Venice?? Still what is wrong with St Edmund who as the last saint of England before we had to link up with the Welsh and the Cornish?.

It’s all the last refuge of a scoundrel

St George is also the patron saint of the Basques (the people not the lingerie) and it's a bit odd to see St George's flags flying in Spain. (they call him St Jordi though)

Ah, but which St Edmund?

Choosing St Edmund Campion, executed on a jumped-up treason charge after a kangaroo trial, would be almost as quirkily English as the Customs building in Islington named after the real traitor, Tom Paine.

St Edmund of Hoxne (aka "The Martyr"): well he was a king. So that'd upset New Labour.

And St Edmund of Abingdon, the ecclesiastical embodiment of Peter's Principle? Probably the most boring Englishman ever to have been canonised. But one of our local churches has an almost contemporary portrait of him that's in terrible nick. Choosing him might help us raise the funds to get it properly restored.

In fact I might take the flannerpooch over to have a look at it for his evening stroll. That'd be a good St George's Day celebration

What about St Cuthbert? He was a grumpy sod who didn't like people very much, so would seem to fit the bill.

Only downside? A bit of a geordie.

I didn't think us heathen protestants went in for Saints. Can't we make up one of our own? Saint Bill of Stratford seems appropriate as it's also Shakespeare's birthday.

I shall celebrate with an oldie englishe dish of bangers and mash washed down with a good helping of Eastenders.

St Jade Goody? St Jordan? St Gazza?

Saint Jamie (Oliver).

He'll get a knighthood one day, so might as well go the whole pig roast.

I think that I shall go once more unto the breach and, "Cry 'God for Harry, England and Saint George!'".

Of course, it's a little early for going to the beach around here.

((I))

Too early to go to the beach.?! The quintessential English celebration of anything is to drive to the seaside and have a cup of tea. Inside the car, staring out through steamy windows at the rain. In complete silence.

This is known as a Nice Day Out.

You missed out the fishpaste sandwiches and warm panda pop for the kids.

Does anyone remember Flanders and Swann?

"Oh, the English, the English, the English are best! I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest."

All together now!

The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You'll find he's a stinker as likely as not

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Scotsman is mean as we're all well aware
He's boney and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salty porridge, he works all the day
And hasn't got bishops to show him the way

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Irishman now our contempt is beneath
He sleeps in his boots and he lies through his teeth
He blows up policemen or so I have heard
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third

The English are moral the English are good
And clever and modest and misunderstood

The Welshman's dishonest, he cheats when he can
He's little and dark more like monkey than man
He works underground with a lamp on his hat
And sings far too loud, far too often and flat

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

And crossing the channel one cannot say much
For the French or the Spanish, the Danish or Dutch
The Germans are German, the Russians are red
And the Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed

The English are noble, the English are nice
And worth any other at double the price

And all the world over each nation's the same
They've simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they've won
And they practice before hand which spoils all the fun

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

It's not that they're wicked or naturally bad
It's just that they're foreign that makes them so mad
The English are all that a nation should be
And the pride of the English are Chipper and me

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

IF I had time I'd go to Trafalgar Square this evening and take part in the Guiness Book of Records largest coconut orchestra attempt, organised by Spamalot, and followed by a free screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

My local is bedecked with St George's flags and is doing free roast beef sandwiches and discounts on all English drinks, but then I'm in Yorkshire and Yorkshiremen can be a tad fervent about such matters. Sadly mine host isn't offering a veggie option as he maintains that such odd practices are clearly unpatriotic

Sausage, mash and onion gravy for tea this evening! And I'm about to go and feed the ducks with stale Hovis (I live by a mill race).

Oh, and I had mild road rage at someone on the M11 this morning - that's typically English isn't it?

And I'm having tea and Hob Nobs while writing this......

(Laughed out loud at the IKEA quip!)

I'm goping for a few pints of London Pride and I've got toad in the hole for dinner. Beat that for englishness!

Well, I did pack my red-and-white T-shirt with the English flag to wear to the gym after work.

It's the same one I bought to wear last summer during the World Cup... but let's not go there.