Don't you just hate it when
 

you tell people about a trip you are about to take, all the plans are made...and they tell you how bad that hotel is, how bad the food was there, etc etc ??
Do you think it is helpful to tell someone after the fact that it is a mistake to go somewhere or should we warn people off due to our own experiences?

I take it with a grain of salt. Different strokes for different folks. I tell everyone how much I hate Vegas,and millions go each year. Go figure.

Good Point, Scarlett! I'm interested in other's opinions but like film reviews, I have often liked what was panned so I go by my own feelings. Usually where I stay will be because it is reviewed in one of my French Magazines, and a beautiful layout is shown.

it depends
If there is an indication that the whole trip is locked in, then there's no point in commenting, and I'd wonder why they're asking at this point.

On the other hand, if there is flexibility still with hotel, I might make even a negative comment, and certainly so on restaurants which remain flexible, I assume, to the end.

Scarlett, take it easy for now. But remember: after you come back you owe them to share your POSITIVE experience with the same hotel, restaurant, etc...

People in our circle (almost all big travellers!) wouldn't exhibit such rudeness. I do recall someone whom we'd just met (no social graces, attacked by hives) who started to say something about one aspect of my plans for Bangkok, but her husband calmed her down, got her a drink and kept her quiet the rest of the evening. We still see him, she is history. True friends and sincere people in general would not be so presumptuous unless it were an ego thing, and they thought they were the constant expert on all things travel. But happily, I don't associate with that type.

Yes it does bother me when people make very negative remarks about places, food, etc. Just because it does not work for them I don't think it's fair to discourage others from doing the same thing. I don't "hate" any particular destination. I may not be wild about a place but I certainly wouldn't discourage others from finding out on their own. :)

I think it depends on who is giving you that info. I have two separate friends who are always 100% on target, they have never steered me wrong with travel advice. They both reacted negatively when I told them I planned to stay in a particular village for 4 days, booked for a very special occasion. They told me I wouldn't be happy there, to change my plans and stay in the neighboring town. I was devastated, it was close to my departure date, plus I had romantic visions of this place, I had looked forward to it for so long. Yet I was able to change my reservations - one night in the old place and three in the new. In the end, they were correct, I much preferred the new place. I was glad, though, that I stayed one night in the original place, as I got to experience it myself. Next time however, I will ask them for their valued advice BEFORE I finalize my plans!

I agree that it depends on whom the info is coming from. Everyone has different expectations. I will value the opinion of someone who knows me well before I will value the opinion of a perfect stranger.

That's not to say, however, that I don't look into the things strangers say. I just don't take it as the end all of my plans. It's nice to get various opinions in order to round out your decision of a place.

SCARLETT
As stated...consider the source!!
If PUP says "NO" then don't go!!
I'm heading to London in a few weeks the hotel that I'm LOCKED into has had some negative reviews...ugh!! So I've been on the phone requesting an upgrade....I'll let you know how it turns out!!!

I think that some people who give this negative stuff before and after you travel are just jealous negative people. Its happened to me several times.

You know, jor has a point - it must be some sort of weird schadenfreude that some people just get off on. I'm hearing a lot of a similar situation with several newly-pregnant friends of mine, where people (many of whom are total strangers!!) just let loose with horror stories! Unreal.
That being said, as a newbie to the Fodors' boards and an avid reader, I think I would trust many of the "Usual Suspects" on the forums - ellenem, Statia, dln, maitaitom, stcirq, and, of course, the esteemed Scarlett. I think I would be pretty bummed if they panned a pick of mine, but then I'd just hop on the phone to book their rec's!

I think some just like being negative, others are truly trying to help, based on their experiences.

When I check out a hotel, restaurant, etc., I look at the majority of reviews and go by that. Occaisionally there will be negatives reviews no matter what. We recently stayed at a hotel that we loved. It had one or two negative reviews, but a majority were excellent. It ended up being an excellent choice!

Thank you so much for such good responses :) I agree with you all!!

This has happened to me in the past, when someone asks, where are we going or where are we staying ?..
When they hear the answer, they launch into detailed reasons why that is such a terrible choice :)
Now Scarlett being Scarlett, there is a certain amount of stubborness here and nothing will make me more mule- headed than that! I will stay there no matter what!! Very seldom have I been sorry that I stuck to my original plans.
But there seems to be a type of Spoilsport about, one who feels that only he/she has the right ideas and they have this 'need' to pound them into anyone who is available!!
Bailey, you are right, I should only share thoughts with Pup :)
jor- you hit it right on the head!
AHaugeto, you are too kind ((F))

I find this site useful IF I'm willing to take the time to ask for input EARLY, before I'm locked in on hotels, restaurants, etc. After I'm all set, I keep my itinerary and details to myself - I try not to waste people's time if I'm going to be resist advice and don't intend to change. That's ego, not travel. IF I see a potentially useful thread (e.g., from one or two who I know actually travel the way I do, and in the same style), then maybe I'll look in and see what's being said. Fodors can really be great, but frankly, it all depends on how often people really travel, and whether it's enough to warrant someone's paying them attention. People can tend to go one place once, or repeatedly, and get locked in on what's good and what's not. Life's a lot more fluid than that, and to hear the same recommendations over and over is not all that useful - just my opinion. Happy Travels!

Scarlett, this is the way it works. Good friends will already know your plans before everything's finalized. You will already have consulted them for their valuable opinions. Anyone else falls into the "take it with a grain of salt" category. If they are well behaved, they will phrase their questions in such a way as to figure out on their own whether or not your plans are changeable. If not, they will spare you and keep their mouths shut, knowing that there's no sense crying over spilt milk, as it were.

Those who tell you negative things about your vacation destination, knowing full well you are powerless to change plans, are jealous, or spiteful, or just plain mean.

Surfrider has it right, sort of :)
There are some who pretend they have been to places or are going to places and give advice.. just to be a part of things. That is really irritating!

Yes, right on the money in saying some people will often announce they are going to so and so place, even giving us dates ... tell us they're juggling a multitude of trips and endeavoring to keep it all straight .... and nada, never mentioned again. Do they actually go or just want to be perceived as being a traveller and in the rush of travels? It's not that important. Actually I don't believe anyone on Fodors would be guilty of doing that, of that I'm reasonably confident. And if they did, so what .... just as long as they didn't go negative on someone's trip plans under the guise they actually knew or had been there. Some people seem to have the most indepth details about all sorts of things, and are helpful. They are a cheerful boon to this site, I am sure.

My fair Scarlett, I can't imagine you ever not picking the very best places to stay and dine. However, if by chance, some foul yankee had tricked you with bad info or false promises, then I'd be honor bound to not rest until you had been saved from a bad situation.

... and I'd been hoping for a good laugh before heading to the airport. If only the airline comes through that well. Tata to all and have a good weekend and week.

SURFRIDER
Hope your not heading to the airport on the east coast or flying to the east coast tonight...............BLACKOUT!!!

Thanks, Bailey, but things are fine here. The FAA says airlines' ops are UNaffected - they switched to diesel power for their electrcity. Thank you for your concerns - I am headed west, and by late tonight will be in LAX, and headed to enjoy the delights of Malibu and points north. Just a madcap trip for a few days. Take care.

I am so fortunate to never have had anyone pooh pooh my travel plans with the blaring exception of my grandmother. She just can't understand why anyone would want to leave the land of 10,000 lakes. Now that she's nearly 90 y.o. I think that she fears that I may not come back.

If confronted by trip negatism, I would turn the table and simply ask the person where they like to travel? What was their favorite hotel? What sites do they recommend?

I am a relatively new poster on this site, and since I'm on summer vacation (teacher), have become addicted almost to reading it every other day or so. One of the things that I took personally (won't happen again) was the negative response to my questions about Christmas in London. I posted that I'd already bought tickets, but was looking for hotel and site info. Instead, I got many replies telling me that England was horrible during X-Mas and that I might as well go to NYC. I only travel during Christmas and Spring breaks, so I already knew that it would be a cold time to go. I LIKE COLD WEATHER. I already knew that Dickens is dead. I LIKE BIG CITIES. I already knew that the tube would be shut down and museums would be closed on the 25th and 26th. I WANTED TO WALK AROUND OR GO HAVE A PUB DINNER. Instead of telling people who already have a trip booked to 'go somewhere else,' I advocate helping them problem-solve with the one they've booked. I think there's a lot of great advice out there, so I will still come back for more though!

I suppose I would hate that, but I never recall it happening.

Unless I was 100% in sync with someone with our tastes, I'd take any negative comments about a hotel, food, etc, with a large grain of NaCl.

teachersue, keep your chin and keep coming back.

I read your earlier post since I'm interested in going to london at that time. I came away from that thread with a positive slant as there were more "go for its" than stay at home comments. I saw the folks who gave an opinion about the weather and transportation closures,being honest and not negative. Its just a fact that its cold and often rains in January.

Teachersue ~

London over the holidays? You'll have a fantastic time. The sales are great. I don't know what you've been told, but the city certainly doesn't shut down. I hope that you're lucky enough to get some british snow London is so pretty wrapped in a coat of snow. It will be magical for you.

Yes, Scarlett, I find that totally irritating. We're driving to California from Washington State Saturday and my dear brother had to tell us our road time was waaay off. Is he so sure? I checked it out on an online road trip planner....grrrr.

I say let people discover the world on their own. Don't be presumptious -- though it is human nature, isn't it?

But resist heaping on the advice. Your trip may be different than their's. That hotel or restaraunt you didn't like might suit them to a tea. And things change, management changes and such.

Bottom line: let them find out themselves. Now if they ask for advice, I say give it, perhaps they can learn from your experience, but don't be a travel snob, pompous ass or presumptious. There's too many in the world like that.