So here I am stressing in the middle of the night &amp; found this lovely post. Calamari I'm <i>so</i> very sorry to hear about your Mother.

Ivy, not only will you have a great time, but I often find being away in a different environment helps me see things at home in a different (cheerier) perspective. Sometimes I see options I hadn't considered.

Something that always transports me from my own problems is a good book-getting involved in someone else's life-whether fiction or not. May I suggest <i>A Thousand Days in Venice</i> by Maria de Blasi. It's an autobiographical account of an American woman who meets a Venetian man. As an added bonus, she mentions a number of places you might want to visit while you're in Venice. Have a wonderful trip &amp; make lots of great memories. Have some prosecco for me.

Thanks everyone! Calamari, I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. I too lost my mom a few years ago. It's funny because my mom never travelled because she was so afraid of flying. So when I travel I think of her and I think how happy it would make her that her daughter gets to see the wonders of the world. She would really have liked that. I don't think the timing will work for a GTG in florence, but I'll be thinking of you while I am there!

Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes, I will post a trip report when I return and let you know how it all went. - Ivy

<i>&quot;Does real life stress ever ruin your travel?&quot;</i>

It can, which is why you need to clearly analyze the causes and know when you've reached your threshold so that you can say without regret, &quot;I won't go. I can't.&quot;

Europe is a wonderful distraction but traveling is expensive. It's no place for people in financial denial or folks with other priorities that demand more serious contemplation.

I've cancelled two major trips in my life. One due to my Dad's by-pass surgery and the other due to my Mother's cold, which turned out to be cancer and, shortly thereafter, took her life. Both trips had been meticulously planned with many items pre-paid. There was much tearful letter writing and negotiation, and a profound sadness at the realization these fun times I had so carefully planned would not come to fruition.

Ivy, the concerns you mention are very vague and I'm sure quite personal. Given what you wrote, I would say as long as you and your husband can afford any financial risk and your health care professionals say &quot;go,&quot; then I would kiss my surroundings good-bye and live life to the fullest.

If your concerns are about other loved ones, then you have to determine your worry-wart status and make decisions accordingly. I know several worriers who worry no matter where they go. I can only hope some of them will discover yoga one day. It's very difficult for me to be around people like this. So, if you're one of those, maybe others here can help you.

<i>&quot;Any tips on how to enjoy my trip without letting life get in the way?&quot;</i>

As long as the man in your life can lovingly embrace you and say honestly, &quot;Darling, we can't change what we can't control and everybody that matters says &quot;go,&quot; then I repeat, I would kiss my surroundings good-bye and live life to the fullest.

Salute!

Just to put this in a little perspective, we have a very good friend that had breast cancer 10 years ago. At the time she had a double mastectomy. She was cancer free for almost 10 years only to find that it has mestastasized into her lungs.

The past year she has had chemotherapy many times. Her tumor markers have been going up. They recently went on an extended cruise and she missed a chemotherapy session. Upon returning from the cruise her tumor markers actually went down.

Moral? Life is short. Enjoy it while you can.

JoeG

Many of these suggestions are great and do work. Some of us have found that a little chemical help can do wonders. I have a supply of Ativan that I am very careful with. It takes the edge off anxiety and dispair when I find I am not capable of psyching myself out of it. Please do not feel you are copping out if you follow that plan.
I have the utmost sympathy and empathy for those traveling with health concerns. It is almost always harder when the partner has the health problem than when it is ours.
Friday, we are off on a cruise up the western coast of Europe. Lots of baggage going with us &amp; I don't mean just the 27&quot; wheeled bags.
Travel mercies on both our houses. :-)

I am always in awe when I look at buildings from so many years ago. I try to imagine how they were actually built, how precise the engineering had to be from the drawings to the last carving and inlays. Thinking about how the large blocks of stone were moved to the heights where they still sit helps put some things in perspective for me. They worked so hard and meticulously and now we have the time and money to appreciate it! Their work was so different that anything I can imagine today, I have an easy time forgetting stress when I admire the buildings still standing and let my mind wander in.

Once I was channel-searching my TV (don't laugh!) and a woman was lecturing on how to handle stress. I've used the technique she's offered, maybe it will work for you?

What she basically said was: make appointments with your stress and worries, for example: I will worry about paying this bill on Sunday at 2 pm. Or: I will worry about my blood test on Thursday at 9 am.

This helps you to mentally postpone your worries. Well, I don't remember who that woman was, but she'd helped at least one person: me!

Ivy, you have already gotten very sound advice.
Take your trip, and enjoy.
Think of your trip as a chance to recharge your batteries to deal with IT, upon your return.
Certainly worrying about IT will not change a thing.

AS far as can one be under alot of stress and still enjoy one's trip?
YES!
I went to italy for my first time with my family. It was perfect except for the fact that 3 months prior to the trip, my husband of 15 yrs told me he was leaving as soon as we returned!
We went with the children(who were clueless) he left after 10 days and my best friend flew over to meet us.
We had a blast the whole time,
(even though I was pretty consumed with this issue)
and since then I have been back to italy 3 more times, 5aking my kids with me twice.

So, if any place can help one forget one's problems, it certainly is italy!!

Enjoy your trip, you will have alovely time,
and good luck with IT .

Ivy - Thanks for your kind words. As a matter of fact one thing that my mother ALWAYS encouraged me to do (since I was v. young) was to travel and &quot;see the world&quot;. My parents were able to provide my brother and I with opportunities that they did not have as children. She would be SO excited about this upcoming trip!

BTW she was a healthy and young grandmother. She went in a flash. No warning. Go on your trip and ENJOY!!! There's always time to stress out later.

Just before I was to leave for a week in Paris (last month), I discovered that a payroll clerk at my firm had made an error that had cost me a good deal of money in lost income and extra taxes; my firm was refusing to accept any responsibility or make any kind of restitution. I was a basket case. The minute I began packing, I forgot about it. The entire week in Paris, showing it to my first-visit friend, so filled my mind and soul that I never gave the situation at home another thought. By the time I got back to work, I was much closer to accepting that life is not always fair and especially in a work situation. My work is just a job; my travel enriches my life and soul. As others have said, live in the moment. That's all we really can count on.

Rufus, I love what you wrote. Ivy, in addition to what Rufus suggests, there is a small, 142 page book that has helped me to stay in the moment, reduce anxiety, focus on what's in front of me and not the past or future--Practicing The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (author of The Power of Now, a more in depth look at &quot;Practicing&quot;). I hope this helps you--enjoy a wonderful trip.