Do you "vant to be alone"?
Dec 11th, 2002, 01:19 PM
#81
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This is a fascinating thread. So much of what's being said I can relate to - learning about myself, taking chances, feeling victorious and strong. Re eating alone: find a restaurant with a great menu and go back to it. After your third meal (they really must have a GREAT menu), you'll be treated very nicely. This worked very well once for me in Paris, where waiters aren't known for their friendly smiles. I travel a lot, work and leisure, and have taken most European vacations alone primarily because I'm single, I can go, and no one else can, for time or money reasons, or they just don't want to travel. But work travel has ruined solitary vacations. They used to be wonderful. But it's gotten old. I find I like to be able to talk to people about what we see and do and then later to share the memories. That being said, I've abandoned my best friend on the street in Paris (and her without a word of French) because she got on my very last nerve, and I spent a trip with a gentleman friend mostly inebriated so I wouldn't have to listen to him criticize everything. And oh - that ski trip where a friend rubbed herself all over every man who was standing still. I wanted to wear a sign that said, "I'm NOT with stupid." On this last trip with my mother and sister, the theme of my journal was, "I must have been straight out of my MIND!!!" Strangely we all get along fine at home. So maybe we should find traveling companions through some other method than family or friendship. Maybe there's a psychologist here who could come up with a questionnaire. It goes without saying, I'm convinced that I'm just the greatest traveling companion in the entire big wide world, but my sister and mom referred to me as "the bossy one." So, maybe it's all in your viewpoint. But traveling alone, for me anyway, has gotten pretty lonely lately. Jess, don't listen to any of my wailing - have a fantastic time in Britain. We all envy you the opportunity.
Feb 13th, 2003, 02:15 PM
#82
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One thing I can suggest to ladies traveling by yourselves, is to eat alone a few times before you leave.<BR><BR>If you panic eating alone in a restuarant a few miles from your own town, you will have to work on why you do, and what you can do to eliminate the feeling.<BR><BR>I thought of this when I was shopping, got hungry and instead of eating in some little fast food place decided to have a big meal in a "real" restaurant. I was treated formally but nicely. I felt a little like a mystery woman, most of the other diners (on a Saturday night) were couples and I did get some strange looks, but I smiled and had a great meal!
Feb 15th, 2003, 07:28 AM
#83
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I like to travel alone. I took a trip to Austria and Switzerland in 98 with a colleague of mine that I didn't know too well. It was a good trip, but there was one moment where we split up and did our own thing. Looking back on it now, it was a great idea because we were getting on each other's nerves. Ever since then, I have travelled by myself. One of the main reasons was the timing of my trip. Another reason I travel alone is that it does give me flexibility to do what I want. If I want to walk around Paris and think about the other issues going on in my life and totally ignore the glorious sights Paris has to offer, then I can do that without feeling guilty about cheating someone else out of a good time. <BR><BR>To echo the other posts re: eating alone, I have to admit that eating alone when I travel is one of the hardest things for me to do. I am the one that will have a guidebook, book, or journal at the table while waiting for my meal. I have discovered, though, as I do it a bit more, it does get a bit easier, but those are definitely the times when I wish I had another person with me. <BR><BR>This is a great topic! 
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Feb 16th, 2003, 08:53 AM
#84
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I really enjoy having a few days alone, especially eating in restaurants. I have gotten very good at paying attention to other diners without being obvious about it... call it an extension of people-watching 
<BR><BR>I suppose that sounds hopelessly nosy, but it allows me to have different perspectives, wondering how different people live, what their lives are like, etc. I find it a fascinating exercise in cultural diversity!<BR><BR>
<BR><BR>I suppose that sounds hopelessly nosy, but it allows me to have different perspectives, wondering how different people live, what their lives are like, etc. I find it a fascinating exercise in cultural diversity!<BR><BR>
Oct 14th, 2003, 12:03 PM
#85
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You know, there doesn't seem to be as many threads this past year or so about women concerned about traveling or even dining alone.
Have alot of us passed that stage?
or
Is it a non issue nowdays?
I find it a non issue when I choose to travel alone, I just go, it is sort of exhilarating to be totally alone in a foreign country with no one at home knowing exactly where you are at any given time.
I remember earlier this year I stood alone with a soft wind blowing, on a cliff on the Amalfi coast and just wanted to scream "YES!".
Have alot of us passed that stage?
or
Is it a non issue nowdays?
I find it a non issue when I choose to travel alone, I just go, it is sort of exhilarating to be totally alone in a foreign country with no one at home knowing exactly where you are at any given time.
I remember earlier this year I stood alone with a soft wind blowing, on a cliff on the Amalfi coast and just wanted to scream "YES!".
Oct 14th, 2003, 09:37 PM
#86
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I've done several trips by myself. I enjoy it a great deal. I am married with two children, who I sometimes take on trips also. Trips with a kid are fun, but of course different, and I usually curtail the classical music concerts and cater to what they want to do. I have tried a couple of short trips with a friend - thankfully no great investment of time or money or I would have been very upset at the outcome!
My husband does not like flying, and really does not like leaving the comforts of home and our dog. And, as he pointed out, because he doesn't travel, that leaves more money for the rest of us to go places!
Eating alone does not bother me. However, I often seem to end up with a schedule like this: hearty breakfast around 8 or 9, light snack during the day, dinner around 4 to 6. I don't eat dinner during standard dining hours. And because I'm usually trying to save money, I often do not eat at a sitdown restaurant anyway.
One method of finding travel friends is through staying at hostels. I know that there is some inconvenience in sharing a room with a group of strangers (although it is often possible to book a single room also). However, you almost cannot help but chat with lots of people. If you make a meal in the kitchen, or sit in the lounge, someone will undoubtably come and talk.
If you are afraid to try a trip to Europe alone, start with a trip to the next state or big city.
My husband does not like flying, and really does not like leaving the comforts of home and our dog. And, as he pointed out, because he doesn't travel, that leaves more money for the rest of us to go places!
Eating alone does not bother me. However, I often seem to end up with a schedule like this: hearty breakfast around 8 or 9, light snack during the day, dinner around 4 to 6. I don't eat dinner during standard dining hours. And because I'm usually trying to save money, I often do not eat at a sitdown restaurant anyway.
One method of finding travel friends is through staying at hostels. I know that there is some inconvenience in sharing a room with a group of strangers (although it is often possible to book a single room also). However, you almost cannot help but chat with lots of people. If you make a meal in the kitchen, or sit in the lounge, someone will undoubtably come and talk.
If you are afraid to try a trip to Europe alone, start with a trip to the next state or big city.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 10:28 AM
#87
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I took my first solo trip to Europe at age 48 and have to say I had a marvelous time!!! I have since traveled solo two more times and am currently planning my fourth trip. I'll admit that when the plane was landing on that first trip I had a moment when I thought to myself "girl, you have completely lost your mind!" but once I got off the plane and that inner voice said "you CAN do this" I was fine. I don't always like eating alone, and like Willtravel posted, I also adapt my eating schedule. That's when I take out the guidebooks and plan what's next or just sit and "people watch". The most memorable time I've ever had was sitting at an outside cafe in Cinque Terre with a glass of wine and bowl of olives overlooking the coast and just thanking my lucky stars that I was there. No, I don't think solo travel is for everyone but if you want to see the world and get tired of trying to find someone to go with you AND you enjoy your own company, than by all means do it!!
I love spending as much time in a museum as I want, or stopping to window shop. You can pick and choose exactly what interests you! You are your own travel guide!
What amazes me most are those who think you are crazy for traveling alone, and I'm talking not only family, but friends and co-workers. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "wouldn't it be more fun to go with someone?". Maybe for those people it would be, but for those of us who choose not to sit at home and just dream our lives away, than going solo is the only choice. I wouldn't trade anything for my trips. They bring me countless hours of terrific memories and stories. Returning home and planning the next "adventure" is almost as much fun!
I love spending as much time in a museum as I want, or stopping to window shop. You can pick and choose exactly what interests you! You are your own travel guide!
What amazes me most are those who think you are crazy for traveling alone, and I'm talking not only family, but friends and co-workers. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "wouldn't it be more fun to go with someone?". Maybe for those people it would be, but for those of us who choose not to sit at home and just dream our lives away, than going solo is the only choice. I wouldn't trade anything for my trips. They bring me countless hours of terrific memories and stories. Returning home and planning the next "adventure" is almost as much fun!
Dec 3rd, 2003, 11:31 AM
#88
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I travel alone on almost all my trips, AND I don't take a camera or videocamera. I can't tell you the number of incredulous looks and puzzled inquiries I've gotten when those facts come out (I don't just come out and say it off the top). "But what do you DO?" they say. Somehow, my answers of "absorbing the atmosphere" and "living for the moment" just don't cut for them.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 12:03 PM
#89
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As to me, I have traveled with friends and it was great! 14 of us bare-boated (self drive) barges through the Cote d'Or last spring.
But this past trip was for me. I did NOT want to hear "i dunno...what do you wanna do"? Its exactly that, I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. My interests are varied and some would think "weird"..or if not weird, "dull". Not to me.
Now, if I knew a gent like "our Ira"...well then...maybe a different story!
The gentlemen I know, I don't want to travel with.. just yet. One with whom I would travel, doesn't like to travel...(sheeeesh...)
And, I am a foodie, and to go eat great things sometimes here at home I do that alone too! and I don't take a book to look "intellectual"...
I can so I do
But this past trip was for me. I did NOT want to hear "i dunno...what do you wanna do"? Its exactly that, I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. My interests are varied and some would think "weird"..or if not weird, "dull". Not to me.
Now, if I knew a gent like "our Ira"...well then...maybe a different story!
The gentlemen I know, I don't want to travel with.. just yet. One with whom I would travel, doesn't like to travel...(sheeeesh...)
And, I am a foodie, and to go eat great things sometimes here at home I do that alone too! and I don't take a book to look "intellectual"...
I can so I do
Dec 3rd, 2003, 12:11 PM
#90
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I don't like taking a camera either. I do take several disposable cameras now for the sake of people who want to see some evidence of the trip. But I often forget to take a camera out with me for the day. So much less to keep track of. If I want to look at beautiful pictures of destinations, there are zillions on the web already.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 12:37 PM
#91
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I don't "vant to be alone" nor do I "vant to be together". I've had to take a lot of business trips where choice of companion was not an available option.
As for the comments on waiting for the husband before some wives would take trips, I had to laugh. Most of my male colleagues have to be taken care of when we are abroad. They ask me when and where the meeting is going to be, how to get there, and I'm NOT the secretary. In Asia, sometimes, they have to be escorted to the restroom door, because they can't read the local signs. I have to make the reservations. If something goes wrong, I have to figure out a way to make things right. ("You go and handle this. You speak the language." Why can't Americans learn a foreign language?) Unless, of course, we have a branch office in that city. In which case, I quickly refer them to the local receptionist, who then efficiently takes care of "my" men.
The other extreme are men who have to take control and be dominant no matter what. I then just sit back and let them "take control", good or bad.
Women colleagues are generally worse as companion travellers. Not only do they expect to have their hand held all the way, but they claim as a RIGHT to complain about every little thing that goes wrong! I'll never forget one woman colleague who sat and complained nonstop in the airport because something had happened to our connecting flight. She was absolutely no help at all!
At least with a man, he would have retired immediately to the closest bar!
Dining alone? I've had to attend so many "power breakfasts", "power lunches", "power dinners" that dining alone is a singular moment of triumph and of joy! I can focus on the FOOD instead of quickly ordering "something" and then continuing on with the business discussion at hand. Ask me to name what I ate out of thousands of business meals, and I honestly can't tell you what I had at a single one. I can remember unusual items that others have ordered: rattlesnake, fried scorpions, bear's claw, but not what I ate myself.
Now retired, I enjoy personal trips with friends and family members or trips by myself.
My hats off to all of you who have discovered the wonderful joys of travelling alone. And to those who are hesitating: don't. That perfect travel companion doesn't exist, except in very very rare cases.
As for the comments on waiting for the husband before some wives would take trips, I had to laugh. Most of my male colleagues have to be taken care of when we are abroad. They ask me when and where the meeting is going to be, how to get there, and I'm NOT the secretary. In Asia, sometimes, they have to be escorted to the restroom door, because they can't read the local signs. I have to make the reservations. If something goes wrong, I have to figure out a way to make things right. ("You go and handle this. You speak the language." Why can't Americans learn a foreign language?) Unless, of course, we have a branch office in that city. In which case, I quickly refer them to the local receptionist, who then efficiently takes care of "my" men.
The other extreme are men who have to take control and be dominant no matter what. I then just sit back and let them "take control", good or bad.
Women colleagues are generally worse as companion travellers. Not only do they expect to have their hand held all the way, but they claim as a RIGHT to complain about every little thing that goes wrong! I'll never forget one woman colleague who sat and complained nonstop in the airport because something had happened to our connecting flight. She was absolutely no help at all!
At least with a man, he would have retired immediately to the closest bar!
Dining alone? I've had to attend so many "power breakfasts", "power lunches", "power dinners" that dining alone is a singular moment of triumph and of joy! I can focus on the FOOD instead of quickly ordering "something" and then continuing on with the business discussion at hand. Ask me to name what I ate out of thousands of business meals, and I honestly can't tell you what I had at a single one. I can remember unusual items that others have ordered: rattlesnake, fried scorpions, bear's claw, but not what I ate myself.
Now retired, I enjoy personal trips with friends and family members or trips by myself.
My hats off to all of you who have discovered the wonderful joys of travelling alone. And to those who are hesitating: don't. That perfect travel companion doesn't exist, except in very very rare cases.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 12:44 PM
#92
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Willtravel!
As to cameras! Your post made me LOF. Coz, I don't live for pictures either! I don't see the world in snap-shots. I prefer to see the whole panarama (that and I might miss something if I were fiddling with my camera <GRIN>
So this last trip I DID buy a throw-away...and at least got someone to take my picture on a Paris bridge at sunset with the Eiffel tower lit up behind me!
Just as evidence! hahahahaha!
As to cameras! Your post made me LOF. Coz, I don't live for pictures either! I don't see the world in snap-shots. I prefer to see the whole panarama (that and I might miss something if I were fiddling with my camera <GRIN>
So this last trip I DID buy a throw-away...and at least got someone to take my picture on a Paris bridge at sunset with the Eiffel tower lit up behind me!
Just as evidence! hahahahaha!
Dec 3rd, 2003, 01:12 PM
#93
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Sorry for being off topic, but how can one who's seen Bailey's "photos" (somehow, that word doesn't do justice to her creations) not want to take a camera?
Further yet off topic, how does one travel with a camera and not look a tourist?
Further yet off topic, how does one travel with a camera and not look a tourist?
Dec 3rd, 2003, 01:20 PM
#94
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I keep my digital in my purse instead of slung around my neck, then I just whip it out at photo ops!
On topic: I just recently decided that I love to travel alone, it makes the trip so much more of an adventure and so immediate.
On topic: I just recently decided that I love to travel alone, it makes the trip so much more of an adventure and so immediate.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 01:44 PM
#95
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It's interesting that this thread has turned to traveling alone without a camera because when I just recently made the decision to try traveling alone it was largely BECAUSE of photography. That's one of the most enjoyable parts of traveling for me (though, of course, not the only one) and I always feel with my various traveling companions that I couldn't take the time I wanted to take pictures. They always seem to be waiting for me to hurry up and finish shooting (even though they say "take all the time you want"
. Apparently there are many reasons to travel solo - and many benefits to it. So keep all the positive comments coming - I'm still a bit anxious about it as I plan my first solo trip.
. Apparently there are many reasons to travel solo - and many benefits to it. So keep all the positive comments coming - I'm still a bit anxious about it as I plan my first solo trip.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 03:06 PM
#96
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Hi isabel,
I guess the point is that you are free to do as you wish and to really get to know yourself during solo travel. I'm just a klutz with cameras and figure, what are postcards for anyway? I'm sure you do much better than me on that score!
On my most recent trip, I found myself unexpectedly rather morose and did some self-questioning as to why. I wasn't really "depressed", but I had some ongoing sorrows in life and when I got away physically, I also was away from the routine of work, family, etc. which made it easy suppressing how I really felt about those things. Somehow, alone and in unfamiliar surroundings, my true feelings were free to come bubbling up to the surface. So, I treated this as a gift from the universe, welcomed the melancholy as a valid presence, and had a wonderful trip. Still a little low-energy and low-key, but special. How different it would have been if I'd had someone along who'd insisted that I "cheer up" and "get with the program"!
I guess the point is that you are free to do as you wish and to really get to know yourself during solo travel. I'm just a klutz with cameras and figure, what are postcards for anyway? I'm sure you do much better than me on that score!
On my most recent trip, I found myself unexpectedly rather morose and did some self-questioning as to why. I wasn't really "depressed", but I had some ongoing sorrows in life and when I got away physically, I also was away from the routine of work, family, etc. which made it easy suppressing how I really felt about those things. Somehow, alone and in unfamiliar surroundings, my true feelings were free to come bubbling up to the surface. So, I treated this as a gift from the universe, welcomed the melancholy as a valid presence, and had a wonderful trip. Still a little low-energy and low-key, but special. How different it would have been if I'd had someone along who'd insisted that I "cheer up" and "get with the program"!
Dec 3rd, 2003, 03:08 PM
#97
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isabel, just start thinking of your anxious thoughts as being excited thoughts instead.
Think of an entertainer just before she goes on stage and the feeling of excitement and anticipation coupled with anxiety and then feel the energy and go!
That is what I am doing right now for my solo trip!
Think of an entertainer just before she goes on stage and the feeling of excitement and anticipation coupled with anxiety and then feel the energy and go!
That is what I am doing right now for my solo trip!
Dec 3rd, 2003, 03:14 PM
#98
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beachbum, Bailey's pictures were gorgeous, but I'm sure she had to take a great deal of care and attention to create them. It's just not what I want to do on a trip. I enjoy wonderful photography and cinematography done by others.
Dec 3rd, 2003, 03:30 PM
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I love traveling solo. I have freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. And, I meet more people when I'm alone.
As for dining alone, I tend to eat on the run or eat in my room late at night. When I do dine out, I take a book or journal. Usually I don't read it because I end up in conversation with other diners or the staff. More commonly, I've met someone wherever I am and they take me to dinner.
I wrote a very long trip report on my solo trip to Italy last Sept. It's much too long to post here, but if anyone's interested, you can email me for the link:
[email protected]
As for dining alone, I tend to eat on the run or eat in my room late at night. When I do dine out, I take a book or journal. Usually I don't read it because I end up in conversation with other diners or the staff. More commonly, I've met someone wherever I am and they take me to dinner.
I wrote a very long trip report on my solo trip to Italy last Sept. It's much too long to post here, but if anyone's interested, you can email me for the link:
[email protected]
