Do you find the people in Europe cold?
 

My wife and I love traveling in Europe. We have been to 9 countries in Europe on 6 different trips. WE LOVE EUROPE BUT FIND THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE VERY UNFRIENDLY AND COLD! <BR> <BR>Funny thing is to each other they seem so friendly and outgoing, especially in southern Europe. We try to speak to them in their language, smile and defer to them if possible. But basically without exception we find most people there to be extremely cold and a bit haughty. <BR> <BR>Once we got back to the USA people seemed so nice in comparision. <BR> <BR>Is it me or have other American tourists experienced the coldness of European people. <BR>My vote for the coldest people in Europe goes to Rome (not Paris). Your vote.

Larry, just wondering, which State are you from?

No, I find them reserved with strangers, as am I. I much prefer that to the inanity of "Hi I'm Cindy and I'll be your server today" type of pseudo-friendliness.

Liz is correct, for example the France have a distrust of any stranger, Franch or American.

To answer the posters question I am from North Dakota. <BR> <BR>Still looking for feedback on unfriendly Europeans.

Larry, I'm not altogether sure of what you mean. Typically, the Europeans are more formal by tradition, I suppose, where we Americans are more casual by nature. They are friendly, though. <BR> <BR>When living in Germany, I didn't use my landlord's first name until he used mine and that was a custom. It was over a year if I remember. <BR> <BR>The Europeans open up a little when you greet them during the day, which they prefer to do in shops, restaurants and on the street. In Mexico, I noticed that every morning you would shake hands and exchange pleasantries with everyone from the hotel doorman to everyone you met at work. <BR> <BR>Once, when asking some directions while under the Eiffel tower, a policeman gave me the finger when he discovered that I was an American. I don't think that he was being all that formal.

I spend many months of the year in europe and find europeans to just as friendly as i do any other people, perhaps they are more reserved then americans. I prefer that to the hi I am jusy and I'll be your server stuff. I prefer to not be on a first name basis witht he waiter. I don;t wnat to know your history and i don;t want to wait for my meal while you tell the next table about your 1st ommunion. <BR> I also find other service people particullary in paris to be great such a shop clerks and hairdressers, and cab drivers while in London i find the chatty cab drivers to average me about 10 gbps a ride as tey chat and drive you around in circles..

Bonjour Larry, <BR> <BR>For Europeans, what passes for friendliness in other parts of the world("Hi, my name is ...", a waiter coming to your table saying "Hi guys, how's everything" - I nearly choked on this one and I can't wait to see my mom's reaction next October when I take her to Arizona -, talking about one's family, business or income to a total stranger, being on a first name basis within 2 minutes of meeting someone for the first time) is considered unsuferable familiarity, and we are taught from a very early age that familiarity breeds contempt. <BR> <BR>This doesn't mean we don't like foreigners (well, some Europeans do, obviously) or that we are cold, just that we tend to be reserved. <BR> <BR>There is also a phenomenon similar to the Japanese approach: you're treated differently depending on whether you're considered to be a member of the community or just a "passing bird", in which case you'll be treated politely but without any particular warmth, and I agree this is an uncomfortable feeling.

Hi Larry, <BR>I find if you encounter a professional person in a business context, they're usually very professional toward you & don't necessary act with the same conversational open air that an American shopkeeper, restaurateur, etc. may have. <BR> <BR>However, so many Italians were so very kind, friendly & approachable during the time I was there that I have to say I really regretted leaving the country. (And I'm sa fair-skinned blonde who arrived with rather halting Italian language skills, so I'm sure they knew immediately I was not European.) <BR>Ciao, <BR>BC

Larry, <BR> <BR>The Europeans, even in France, are a heck of a lot friendlier that I found the people of New Jersey to be! <BR> <BR>During the five years I was doing hard time there for my comapny, I found them to be the rudest,least friendliest people on the face of God's green earth! <BR> <BR>They get up unhappy, stay that way, do their best to make you unhappy and they then call it a "Jersey" attitude. <BR> <BR>Heck, I'll take the French anytime!

Hey, this Jersey girl resents that!

I think Americans have confused the definition of unfriendly (not disposed to friendship) with reticent (restrained or reserved in style). I've never found that Europeans are not disposed to friendship, but they are restrained and reserved in style. <BR> <BR>Semantics'll do you in every time. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>

Ilisa, <BR> <BR>You should, you're getting a bad rap from the rest of them. NJ, is a beautiful state, particularly where I lived near the Delaware River. <BR> <BR>Too bad the natives haven't gotten the message that friendly is OK, that when you say hello, you're really not trying to take advantage or steal from them, that holding a door open is not a criminal act....etc.

I totally disagree. I've visited China, Japan, Hong Kong, Korea, Russia, Poland, Estonia, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, England, Italy, Germany and found people to be warm and friendly everywhere. Of course, there are also nasty people everywhere. <BR>I lived in France years ago, and in those days found Parisans to be kind of snotty, but have been back to Paris twice in the last 3 years and found a total change in attitude. They were polite, welcoming and friendly. Just my own experience, of course.

Well Hot Dog, we have a weiner! Susan gets the prize for being correct. <BR> <BR>Larry, as I would say to you in Scotland, what a lot of pish! People are people the world over, some are friendly, some less so.

I find European strangers reserved. I find European friends warm and largely loyal. <BR> <BR>I find American strangers friendly and superficial. I find American friends to be undependable if distance or money is involved.

sorry, but I think that americans talk to much. Once in flight from Frankfurt to Florence, there was an American lady, sit next to me, and I was talking to my wife in my countrie language, and she, in a polite way, asked were did we came from, because she didn´t recognize our language. After that, she couldn´t stop asking things. She became...boring, but never rude. <BR> <BR>

only in the winter.

Hi Larry. Guess it depends on what one's definition of "cold" is. As Liz said, I find many people in Europe to be reserved but, to me, that's not the same as cold.

Thanks to everyone for their responses. What I consider very cold behavior is reserved to others. Though thinking back at my times in Europe since I wrote the orginal message above I am still convinced that most Europeans I have met are COLD, not reserved. <BR> <BR>I also disagree that just because someone is familar or friendly in America, this makes them a phoney. We need to open up to each other! Especially Europeans. <BR> <BR>Now Thailand, that is where people are really nice and friendly.

Nancy, I was going to say that! Good show!

Cold??? Have you been to New York? Talk about cold fish and the women all act as if they had a bug up their collective asses.

top

I met cold people at home and abroad. Likewise, very nice people.

Goodshow, <BR>sometimes the answers are just SO obvious, that I can not help myself :-)

Someone drive a stake through tothetop's heart. Man is that annoying!

I lived in Europe for 7 years and found that although many people tent to be more reserved, but were VERY friendly and helpful as long as I did not portray the UGLY AMERICAN. I had many friends there and was invited into many homes. Yes it does get cold esp in the Winter (good going Nancy). The hospitally shown me many times was most gracious.

only if it is winter and they don't have a coat on.

Nancy <BR> <BR>Me three! <BR> <BR>My first response was same as yours, my second was more sensible: if you go out into the world with a smile on your face you will usually get one back, if you go out into the world comparing everything and everyone with back home you probably wont be so popular.

How can you possibly find all Europeans 'cold' Europe is such a diverse continent. I know that here in England we are supposedly 'cold' (although I don't agree) but Europe also includes countries such as Spain,Greece,Portugal,Italy etc -the people from these nations are anything but 'cold' -I think you need to be a touch more specific ,rather than writing off a whole continent!

could if be possible that they are reacting to the way you may have approached them. usually you get back what you give. we have always found the europeans to be very warm and friendly to us. an attitude check may be in order

Cold? I guess I'm having a hard time pinning down a definition of this. Do you mean aloof? Haughty? Recalcitrant? Unhelpful? Self-absorbed? Unconcerned? I've never felt Europeans (and that in itself is a real generalization, as there are certainly cultural differences evident in the way people live and behave in different parts of Europe) to be any of those. <BR>Certainly Europeans as a whole don't walk around with big loopy smiles on their faces for no reason at all, and they don't act like you're their best buddy after the first few words of conversation, but cold? I don't think so. <BR>Personally, I find the European custom of greeting people, always saying thank you, and always saying good-bye (in stores, outdoor markets, even among strangers walking in a park) to be a more genuinely "friendly" habit than the "Hi guys!" stuff you find all over the USA among people who've never laid eyes on one another. <BR>In sum, I think Europeans are more respectful, a bit more private, and more sincere in their words and actions than Americans. But cold, never. Some of the most genuinely heartfelt words and gestures I have encountered came from Europeans I barely knew.

Universally, you're probably more likely to find friendlier folks outside the big cities - no different than in America. <BR> <BR>A little bit of 'effort' from the traveler (starting a few polite phrases in local language) goes a long way in warming people up! I've seen too many Americans intent on speaking only English, then becoming impatient (sadly, even rude) with the response they get. Nonetheless, I've found that certain cultures are indeed a bit more reserved than others, though it doesn't necessarily translate to being 'cold' in my book. <BR> <BR>Secondarily, as someone from NJ, I'm sorry to hear the previous poster's complaints out the local attitude - but but rest assured that, even though you didn't find us, there are MANY friendly people here :)

Larry, <BR>Traveling makes us realize, if we are perceptive, that what we have have been believing to be a absolute characteristics, friendliness, coldness, etc. are not that simple concept after all. <BR> <BR>How do we decide if one is unfriendly? If one is unfriendly at 9am but not at 3pm, is he any more unfriendly than one who is friendly at 9am but not 3pm? <BR> <BR>As others have stated, the Europeans are more reserved. While they are generally more reserved (unfriendly if you wish), as time goes on, I see sincerely in the relationships. <BR> <BR>Compare this to "friendly" Americans. After initial "quickly becoming friends," after whatever factor that bounded the relationship disappears, monetary echanges, contract, we often get dumped like a piece of trash. <BR> <BR>One would have to choose which type of "friendly" he wants, or realize that there are many different manifestations of friendliness.

Oh my goodness Larry - you mentioned something I have said for years but everyone always disagreed with me. I have always had a good time with Parisians - they've been helpful, friendly, etc. But those I've encountered in Rome - aaaach! I have had people ignore me, turn their backs to me...taxi drivers rip me off...no one helpful (except other tourists). And this is in 3 visits there (all for business). I had thought it was because I am a non-white woman, and that Rome was more heterogenous than Paris, but I guess that wasn't all correct. Still I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one to think that Romans are not the friendliest people on earth.

What I think in America when you meet somebody very quickly you say he is my friend. In Germany for example it normaly takes time untill you call somebody a friend. BUt when he is a friend it is a very closed friendship <BR>and normaly you can allways count on him.

I would have to agree with Larry. I find the Americans & Australians are very outgoing and friendly to strangers. It takes much longer for Europeans to warm-up to strangers.

Larry... <BR>Sorry, can't agree with you. We found folks along our travels much more likely to talk to visitors than members of my "tourist" community in the USA. I came back vowing to be as nice to our visitors as I can. We had really fun 5 minute chats, hour long chats, and now long term friendships. Strangers drove us to a B&B in the next town, in a gale. Sorry, don't agree. <BR>

Larry, I have dated a man who lived in Sweden and one who lived in Switzerland. I have lived, myself, in Sweden and traveled alone, with friends and with my boyfriends to various countries in Europe. I cannot say, in the least, that Europeans are "cold". Quite the opposite. The men are gentlemen (how many American men do you see jump up and let a woman sit on a bus? Or help her get a bag or a baby carriage into a bus?), and people value not only their privacy, but also friendships. <BR> <BR>They consider (as do I, for that matter) the American "Hi, I'm blah, I'm your server...and you're my new friend" attituide of so many here in the States to be rude and superficial. There's no substance behind that fake facade. <BR> <BR>Still waters run deep.