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Friendship is a two way street.
How can you call a person who will never accomodate your needs a friend? Will she be such a delight for the rest of the trip that you are willing to put up with this, or are you just being "nice" (a doormat)? Would you go to the Rockies with someone who didn't like mountains? Why would you go to Paris with someone who doesn't like to eat? |
There's picky eating, but when adults are willing to make scenes in restaurants, prevent the group from getting the tasting menu, sit with a glass of water while everyone else eats dinner, or otherwise do something to make themselves the centre of attention without concern for the feelings of their companions, then IMO they have crossed the threshold from picky eating to disordered eating, personality problems, or mental illness.
Lola, you got some good advice here. Most cafes have salads, croque monsieurs or steak frites, if she is willing to eat at places like Hard Rock Cafe or McDonalds then hopefully she would be okay with those. |
First off, she knows I think she's "ridiculously" picky. In fact, she agrees she's picky. She likes very few things and even eating in the states with her can be an issue.
That being said, she is more than willing to come to a restaurant with me that I would like, but she isn't going to eat. I'm fine with that as long as the restaurant is fine with that as well. As to being a good travel companion, other than food, she lets me plan the trip and we generally end up doing more things I'm interested than she's interested in. So I can learn to deal with the food issues. But thanks to the one poster for taking the time to make the oddly rude comment about our friendship. For the others, thank you very much for your suggestions. I think we'll be able to work it out as long as I don't want to go anywhere too fancy. And are you sure there is no cheddar in Paris? :) |
I only have one somewhat fussy French friend. All of the others will eat just about anything. My best friend who travelled once to the U.S. with me always makes the claim that Roy Roger's fried chicken is better than KFC.
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All these attacks on picky eaters...
as a reformed picky eater I have sympathy for these people...to a point. It is something you can get over if you try. But it is utterly miserable to be the picky person. Really. Far worse than being with a picky person. When I think back to how I used to be...and how awful it made me feel. Lola - I hope you and your friend work it out and have a lovely trip.If she is sick of being a picky eater she needs to start trying as many different things as possible - but in an environment where it doesn't matter if she doesn't eat it, and it isn't embarrassing for her. Just very matter of fact. On holiday probably isn't the best place. |
lola, I think you got the answer to your query - only one person eating in a party of two will not be a problem most places. If ti is of any solace, we visited Paris a few years ago with a niece who has an incredibly limited palate - no meat, little cheese, no fruit, no veggies. She essentially lived on pasta and did just fine and we never had a problem finding something on the menu for her. (And BTW she is an athletic, high academically achieving delightful young woman other than this!)
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Kerouac -
Your friend is correct. Roy Rogers is better than KFC, but KFC is better than Popeyes. :) Bridget |
You may find british style cheddar (at a price of course!)in Paris at places with a very large selection, but it isn't commonly used.
Margy |
Your friend has to compromise even if she is a picky eater. I am sure she will end up choosing something and even one item would be fine. Once I was at Le Coupe Chou and a couple were dining there. The wife was obviously very picky and did not want anything but then decided to order salad only. The waiter did not care she ordered only that.
My son was very picky years ago. On our trip to Italy he found that spaghetti a la vongole was very tasty and that was what he dined on nightly. If all else fails do what others suggest and enjoy a meal by yourself, meet up with your friend later on. |
Lola:
I've gone to Paris with a picky eater and wondered the same thing about cafes: would a non-eater be a problem? We went by this general rule: If the tables are "set" (cloth, silverware, etc) one is expected to order a meal. We presumed this meant both parties. If the tables are bare you can pretty much order---or not order--- as you please. I don't know if that's right or not. But it seemed to work as a general rule. |
One of my best friends and I used to spend a LOT of time on meals in Europe. We lived there for 11-12 weeks at a time during the summer months. We had a place we rented in Denmark and then traveled around together throughout Europe.
She was vegetarian at the time and I wasn't. So, I'd go with her first to her selected vegetarian restaurant and then she'd come with me after her meal to my selected restaurant. While I was at her restaurant, I'd order dessert or some fruit and while she was at mine, she'd do the same...so sort of eating in reverse. Smiles. We had absolutely no problem with our system and still laugh about it from time to time...30-something years later. It's funny because now she's not vegetarian. She eats poultry/fish...but,not red meat and now I'm stricter...vegetarian,vegan, and macrobiotic for the past 30-something years. I went vegetarian after we got home. I will eat fish though. So, we're now in the reverse. My biggest challenge, in Europe, not at home here in California, is that I have 3 severe food allergies which is why I seek out Asian restaurants when I'm in Paris or other places in Europe....and which is why I like to rent apartments so that I can cook. The 3 things I'm allergic to are very hard to get around in French food especially. So, I'd say to eat together some days and to eat on your own others and then meet up with her later on in the day. Then you're both happy. I don't mind eating alone as 99% of the time when I'm traveling, I'm traveling alone anyway.Plus, I usually strike up a conversation with someone in the restaurant. I've met some nice people that way many of whom I'm still in contact with decades later. Have fun and don't let food get in the way. Happy Travels! |
>>>She was vegetarian at the time and I wasn't... now she's not vegetarian. She eats poultry/fish...but,not red meat and now I'm stricter... vegetarian, vegan, and macrobiotic for the past 30-something years.<<<
Last year I was wearing blue, while my friend was prefering green. Now green is in fashion and I am strictly wearing green, but my friend favors blue. It's a pity that we do not get a common picture. But the colors just do not match. Let's see what fashion brings next year.. |
Traveler1959...What are you talking about? Happy Travels!
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Lola - it really may be hard to find Cheddar in Paris. My daughter just finished a year in Strasbourg and would often fix Mexican food for her friends. She never found Cheddar to her liking to put on the tacos she made!
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I don't expect to actually find Cheddar in Paris. I was joking about that. Though Cheddar, American, and Monterrey Jack are the only cheeses she eats.
I don't mind eating alone, so we will see what happens. It looks like Cafes will work out. This is an issue no matter where we've gone. Even when I visit her in Texas. I get good TexMex and she eats a couple of tortilla chips. |
If you are both friends, there must be more than ones eating choices that keep you as friends - as of course there must be - so good for you.
I hope that you will both get around this seemingly trivial eating situation to still - and in a respectful way to each other - enjoy Paris. |
I truly am curious how this works? So she sits having her glass of water, while you have a dinner of African food. Let's say that's OK with the restaurants and OK with you. So when does she eat? Do you then have to go somewhere else for her to get dinner?
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Mathieu...I TOTALLY agree with you. If a friend is REALLY a friend then one gets past such little things as the differences in eating. My best friend and I never let it get in our way.
Plus, by us eating at two different restaurants, it provided us the ability to slow down and enjoy each other's company which we can't often do at home when we're working hectic schedules and running around like crazy people. And the thought of the differences in eating styles/habits ruining a vacation as someone mentioned above is absolutely ludicrous to me. Real friendship and spending time with friends is just more important to me than food issues. Happy Travels! |
Also...didn't you two discuss this food issue before you planned the trip? If someone is coming along on my trip, we have to discuss everything beforehand and I make it quite clear what I will and will not be doing while on the trip. Happy Travels!
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The trip isn't until November. Normally, either we eat together, or I eat at one place while she has a drink and she'll eat elsewhere while I have a drink.
Usually when she eats it's a pizza place or fast food, so it's not an issue. We get along fine other than the food issue and it's not something that would ruin our trip. It's just something I wanted to be prepared for. Now that I have some information, we can make our food plans. |
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