Destination Celebrations European Style
 

In the US it has become popular to invite extended family and friends to celebrate weddings, birthdays (40th, 50th etc.) and anniversaries (20th, 25th)in exotic locales, ie. tropical island, mountain, desert or someplace "fun" like Las Vegas.

The invitees are generally required to use their work vacation days for the trip and be willing to pay for their own transportation and lodging/expenses out of love/friendship for the celebrant.

This can amount to hundreds or thousands of dollars not to mention loss of personal vacation time.

Is this a uniquely US idea or do Europeans organize and attend these kind of functions too?

I believe it is still limited mostly to the U.S. Europeans get a lot of vacation and often spend time abroad, but I haven't heard of the specific events you describe.

We Brits (at least) don't do this kind of thing. For big anniversaries then the couple will be likely to hire a local function suite or something and throw a party. The expense will be with the couple although guests will be expected to make their own way there. Relatives usually house the far away guests or they can make their own hotel accomodation arrangements.
People celebrating big birthdays may find a surprise party being sprung on them, but again it will be local to the person involved.

Stag and hen parties are a different matter. Men travel to places such as Amsterdam for a weekend of complete debauchary involving the local tarts and copious amounts of alcohol. The groom will be lucky to arrive home with:
a) Hair
b) Dignity
c) Clothes
d) Same country as the other guests
e) A sexually transmitted disease
f) A fiance that stays with him after all the stories are told.

It seems like you do not like this idea, and I understand why (financial commitment, vacation days, etc), but I really like doing these things.

I have been to travel celebrations for European friends, but they have not been as grandiose as those for my American friends.

In defense of the practice, in any case where I have been asked to travel a long (and expensive) distance for a celebration, I have been rewarded with thorough planning, free accommodation, and a tight group of friends to have a lot of fun with.

No realistic planner expects everyone to be able to make it, so if you can't, just tell them so and don't be mad they have planned something expensive, but flattered that they want to spend their time and money seeing you.

This certainly isn't unique to the US. Though kakalena's curmudgeonly description of the practice is something I've never encountered here.

When people organise weddings in the Indian Ocean or the West Indies, guests seem happy to go. I've encountered people reluctant to traipse off to the south of France or Tuscany for an anniversary or significant birthday - but never heard anyone whinge about "using my holiday allowance".

Maybe that's because no-one here would lumber their friends with a trip to a hellhole like Las Vegas. Or have the gall to describe it as "fun"

Yeah, Las Vegas "ain't" Blackpool.

This obviously depends what kind of brit you are, as I don't recognise the answers from Anthony and AR. Amongst my friends, it's very common to hire a large chateau in the Dordogne, or a villa in Tuscany, and take all your friends for a few days for a celebration. This has become increasingly popular with the cheap flights now available on Ryanair. For my partner's 40th, we took 24 friends to a castle in Umbria for 3 days. Great fun, and surprisingly cheap. (there's a trip report on here somewhere...)

Also, my SIL got married in Venice, and invited about 30 people to go. We were all more than happy to oblige.

As has been mentioned, it's now almost obligatory to go away with a pack of friends for a stag/hen do before a wedding. Long weekends (or longer) range from trips to Amsterdam, Barcelona, Las Vegas, or one of the major cities it's now easy to get to in central/eastern europe.

I'm approaching the stage where large events are more likely to be funerals than weddings. But I have seen the advice columns in UK newspapers dealing with enquiries from people worrying about the cost of being asked on a stag/hen trip abroad *and* a wedding trip abroad *and* a present off the list, and wondering if it's OK to feel resentful (as if Brits need anyone's permission to grumble - have these people no backbone?). Fortunately, my nephews and nieces have learnt to be grateful for sixpence and an orange as a present.

Will we wake up to global warming in time to stop developing foreign funeral/ash-scattering/wake packages abroad - grandads and grannies on a last boozy weekend in Amsterdam or Prague or wherever ("it's what he would have wanted"....)?!

<i>but never heard anyone whinge about &quot;using my holiday allowance&quot;.</i>

I think Europeans have more holiday allowance than we do in the US. If I accompanied everyone who sent me an invitation to share their celebration, I'd have a negative balance and none left for a vacation.

<i>Maybe that's because no-one here would lumber their friends with a trip to a hellhole like Las Vegas. Or have the gall to describe it as &quot;fun&quot; </i>

That's why I italicized &quot;fun&quot;. I agree with your description.

<i>Fortunately, my nephews and nieces have learnt to be grateful for sixpence and an orange as a present. </i>

I may try this approach. ; )

<i>Amongst my friends, it's very common to hire a large chateau in the Dordogne, or a villa in Tuscany, and take all your friends for a few days for a celebration.</i>

Yes, this is exactly what I was referring to.

&quot;Don't recognise the answer from AR&quot;???? Oh, come off it Kate!
Are you seriously saying that you don't recognise an anniversary party in a local function suite or a stag party in Amsterdam (or even Blackpool or Tenby)?!

We don't all &quot;hire a chateau and fly out to the Dordoigne&quot; unless we are Victoria Beckham and her friends. You obviously move in different social circles than me, can I join as I would rather that than witness all the louts puking in Amsterdam as I did when there for a conference recently?

&gt;&gt;Stag and hen parties are a different matter.&lt;&lt;

The Washington Post had an article about the growing popularity of these parties in Bratislava.

The article:
http://tinyurl.com/z53ou

The video:
http://tinyurl.com/k97h3

You probably will have to register (free) but the image of a guy dressed as a woman drinking shots from the rear end of an inflatable sheep makes it all worthwhile.

Kinda makes Las Vegas seem like the Annual Gathering of Teetotaling Old Farts.

AR, Yeh I certainly recognise the 'hire a church hall' approach. But you shouldn't dismiss the chateau idea so quickly. It's much cheaper than you think.

Case in point, the long weekend in Umbria cost per person...

Ryanair return flight &pound;30
Car hire (4 people per car) c&pound;30
Room (2-4 people per room x 3 nights) &pound;100 for 3 nights

We paid for a grand meal on one night in the castle, the rest of the time we ate in cheap trattorias.

So for less than 200quid, everyone got to have exclusive use of an 11th Century castle for 3 nights. That's about the price of a lastminute.com package trip to an average hotel to Paris.

So, not quite so Victoria Beckham after all!

kakalena- You don't have to go everywhere you are invited. If you don't want to spend you limited vacation time or funds that way.

&gt;&gt;kakalena- You don't have to go everywhere you are invited&lt;&lt;

The OP made is clear she's not a fan of destination celebrations but where do you get that she feels obligated to go everywhere she's asked?

Kate,

Sounds like a fun and economical trip.

Somehow my trips have come out to about $1,000 US each. I really need a room of my own to preserve my sanity and a car for some independence too. There are few exotic destinations celebrations I could travel to for 30 Euros, more like 10 times that figure minimum.

AR

I understand what you are saying too. I think that people sometimes model these events on the celebrations of celebrities.

suze

obxgirl is right, I'm interested in knowing if the events are a US quirk.

I can't imagine waking up one morning and deciding to invite 10-100 of my friends and relatives to travel hundreds/thousands of miles, spend hundreds/thousands of dollars and spend multiple days of their personal time to celebrate one of my paltry &quot;special&quot; events.

Definitely, that's not popular in Spain :)
Yes, we do have a lot of parties and celebrations for everything, but they doesn't usually involve people spending lots of money or travelling too far. Not so exotic, I suppose !!

Family Reunions in cruises is gaining popularity. A lot of Americans are willing to try a cruise at least once. Twenty-five (25) members of my family cruised together for New Year's Eve and it was a real sucess; kids, teenagers, adults, elderly, all had a real blast.

&lt;&lt;I can't imagine waking up one morning and deciding to invite 10-100 of my friends and relatives to travel hundreds/thousands of miles, spend hundreds/thousands of dollars and spend multiple days of their personal time to celebrate one of my paltry &quot;special&quot; events.&gt;&gt;

That paragraph pretty much sums up why the concept of a gala event is foreign to you. I have been to a few of these, and I have hosted a few, and in all seriousness, I cannot think of a more flattering way to say &quot;I love you&quot; than to say that I want to spend my time and money with a certain group of people that make my heart feel bigger and safer. The organizer generally spends more than the attendees and the memories are priceless.

If I have to travel for a reunion/ party/wedding, I would much rather go someplace fun than spend time in a podunk town with nowhere better to eat than McDonalds. I only wish my relatives would pick up on this trend.

<i> That paragraph pretty much sums up why the concept of a gala event is foreign to you. I have been to a few of these, and I have hosted a few, and in all seriousness, I cannot think of a more flattering way to say &quot;I love you&quot; than to say that I want to spend my time and money with a certain group of people that make my heart feel bigger and safer. The organizer generally spends more than the attendees and the memories are priceless.</i>


I didn't say that I'm opposed to spending time or money to be with friends and family. I don't see how lavish events say &quot;I love you&quot; more than a birthday cake and a card or a one day simple local wedding celebration or a lovely anniversary party. During the year there are holiday get-togethers, many parties and if people with common interests want to go vacation together that's just great. I just think it's inconsiderate of people to inconvenience people they love to that extent. These type of events actually reduce the number of people who are able to attend which doesn't seem very loving to me. If I had one invitation a year for the destination event of a close relative that would be one thing but everyone wants to live like a rockstar now.