Confused and afraid
 

Yes my post title is vague and non-specific, intentionally so. I am confused about the point of the forum. Many novices post their ignorant questions and expect naively that this is a place for questions to be answered. Don't we know that there are other places for us to get information, either in books or on the web? And if we are misled into believing that we can get some feedback about our petty problems like how to get the best experience available for our $3000 investment into our vacation from seasoned amateur travelers, how could we expect to be exempt from the grammar police, the poster police and all of the other righteous ones? We become afraid to ask questions for fear of how ridiculous our questions may seem to you and what ridicule and shame you may heap on us.

So, what should we be doing? How can we have acceptable behavior? To quote the famous late 20th century prophet Rodney King "can't we all just get along?"

I always told my students, "The only question that is ignorant is the one that is not asked." I'm sure I stole that from someone, but it's true. It takes courage to ask questions and I agree that we should be more supportive.

Thank you for posting this tinarose.

I've posted here for a couple of years. I've found that a few long-time posters would not comment on any of my posts until I make a grievous error (e.g. I inverted the $ to euro conversion). Well, they came out for that one. One time, twice, I got the idea already, but the comments went on and on until I believe the post got deleted finally. Then yes, there are the grammar police as you mention-one should spell the word correctly or else...
So you see although I've been posting here for a while it happens to me too. I'm hesitant to make comments for fear of sounding ignorant to some here. I've checked another travel forum that seems to be more giving.

I would like to very politely and inoffensively disagree. I think that the rude and/or snide posters are very much in the minority. Most posts, even the most stunningly naive, get at least some genuine replies.

I am amazed when someone posts that they are going to Europe and "what should I see, where should I go, how long should I stay, where should I eat?" I just don't answer those posts, because I would have a hard time not slamming the person for not doing a minumum amount of reading before asking.

But on the other hand, I will answer the most basic questions, or suggest a better post heading for a novice. I figure those of us who are on here a lot need to take turns helping newcomers. I do it for a while, then I take a break.

So many people post on here asking advice about hotels, restaurants, and itineraries, and they get lots of expert advice. People take the trouble to look up information for others, to review a complicated itinerary and make suggested improvements, to go the extra mile. I have gotten slammed for my opinion, but I've never had a genuine question met with condescension or rudeness.

The grammar police only vent on the occasional grammar thread. I know -- I'm one of them. Ditto for spelling. I don't correct it unless someone seems to be asking, or if it's a place name and spelling it wrong is going to give them problems. (I just wish I had a nickel for every time I've ignored "Sienna.") What you call the "poster police" are often experienced posters trying to help newcomers get the best response. Perhaps they are not tactful enough in their suggestions, but when someone posts under the heading "Help!" or "Need a hotel," well, you've just got to clue them in to the shortcomings of the system.

Ignore the bad, be grateful for the good.

Personally, I don't think there is a lot to be "confused" about when you consider the broader picture of this forum. A lot of posters APPEAR to be bored office workers who will post just about anything from crossword puzzle questions to barely concealed advertisements. Others enjoy being very passively snobby by telling us about all their airline upgrades they got by simply smiling at the gate attendant or by making sure we all know they only stay in hotels with "fantastic linens" and that they certainly do NOT look like "tourists" even as they pull on another pair of capri pants and worship and adore at the Spanish Steps!
Fodors obviously reaps enormous benefits from gathering computer addresses from every single post, gathering information as to where people are most interested in traveling, and so forth...and I'm still not convinced that their staff isn't behind some of these posts about "what is your favorite European pension and "tell us which city you left our heart in. Unfortunately, everything seems to have a catch somewhere or another but the forum can be very useful IF one keeps in mind that a lot of the "information" posted is strictly subjective opinion and should be treated as such. You know as well as I do that trusting a totally anonymous stranger to "advise" you about what clothing to wear is edgy at best.
I think people sometimes can be "put off" by others who think they can roll in and find a free travel agent and that is their right to BE put off. Whether or not a reply is "snide" is also a matter of opinion.
Hopefully, now, you've come to some better understanding of what it is all about...if for no other reason than the fact that you've found a place where you can not only ventilate but also prompt others to respond....a little free psychotherapy is always nice. Now, if the "police" don't swoop in a chide you for not asking a "travel question" everything should be fine. Have a better day, today.

"Ignore the bad, be grateful for the good."

Perfectly put, Marilyn. :)

tina,
I always tell my staff that no question asked is stupid or invalid. Even if it is asked many times.
The important thing to realise is that as we read these comments, we cannot see facial expressions, body language etc of the people who wrote them.
So, whilst some may read a reply as witty, others will take offense.

I am worry about people who are bitter to the point so they have nothing
better to do but being so affraid and confused about something that has no
reason to be worry about...

Allright...let me jump in, please.
I do not know what is OP problem, but I suspect it is not this forum.
Hovewer I want to start from beginning.
I am new traveler, so I found this site through trip advisor while
looking for description of Paris Hotel.
I signed up and was AMAZED how many people are traveling to Europe
and sharing their experience.
YES, I am in the office working on a huge boring project which gives
me time to refresh and read and post while my queries are running.

But ! I have already created 12 Word Documents with ParisWalk
(Degas I believe), French frases, French food ... you name it.
And I am so greatfull to everyone for being so patient and understanding
with my questions or someone elses questions which I read and
benefited from.

THANKS Fodorites and please, keep up being helpfull !

Tina, please be neither confused nor afraid. E-mail is not the best medium for expressing exactly what one feels. Lots of us try to respond with helpful information and suggestions in response to questions. Sometimes some of us ( I include myself) get a little carried away with our opinions. But I think we all mean well and want everyone who comes to this board to enjoy their trips to Europe as much as we have enjoyed ours. Even after more than a dozen trips to Europe, I continue to learn an amazing amount from this board. Thanks for the reminder and please continue to ask and we will continue to try to help.

"can't we all just get along?"

My ten top reasons why NOT:

1. I'm not a politician.
2. I don't need to be loved by everyone.
3. I don't like lazy people.
4. I don't believe in denying people the right to exhibit their personality.
5. I don't mind that you chose this thread to whine about nothing.
6. I appreciate people who point out grammar and spelling errors. (In my world they're called editors. Imagine a good book without one.)
7. Experience is only "righteous" if someone insists you travel his/her way.
8. This ain't a church.
9. You don't pay me to be nice.
10. You shouldn't judge people and assume you know their intentions.

Imagine a world where everyone is sweet and nice. Yawn_boring. He/she is around here somewhere.

>..I have already created 12 Word Documents with ..., **French frases**...<

Ha! Gotcha!

Spelling Police

May I respectfully and most humbly, in the hope that I offend no one by mentioning it, that we have here an example of how pleasantly a very general question is handled.

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34472554

Tina, I don't think the grammar and spelling police are too bad here. I've seen much much worse on other message boards. And I have not yet been slammed for grammar or misspellings, even though I have tons of typos. I just have never learned to type properly.

It is hard for veterans to remember that many people have not explored cyberspace much yet, and the idea of a message board and how it works is not completely intuitive.

Not everyone understands how to search. There are classes taught in how to perform Boolean searches.

So this leaves us with lots of posters who haven't searched for an answer to their question, and they ask it again, even though it may have been answered a thousand times.

Fodors is providing a valuable service for free, and we can't really expect them to spend more valuable resources coaching people in how to use a message board. But they board would be much more effective if there was an instructional thread pegged to the top, with replies not allowed. Then novices could learn a little up front, instead of making a "mistake", getting flamed, and giving up.

Am I to assume that you posted this as a result of your inquiry yesterday about how to find what a certain amount of lire quoted as a meal price would be equal to in euro or dollars? If that is your point, you did receive that answer, in fact to a point of overkill, with people answering in several ways and even explaining where in the future to find that information out. Of course, it turned into a sort of free for all as some posters ranted about how it was important for you to know that information, but the bottom line is you posted, you asked, and you received the information.

So how can you hope to emininate the poster and grammar police, and those who just want to argue or pick at questions? You can't expect to on any public forum, but you CAN ignore them!

YOU DONT GET PAID ?
I wish I knew it before I sent my check...

Ofcourse I knew it suppose to be "French fraises" znd not "French frases", but anyway how could you, ira ?

French strawberries have now entered the picture?

Hi ziana

>Ofcourse I knew it suppose to be "French fraises" znd not "French frases", but anyway how could you, ira ?<

Do you mean how could I know it was supposed to be 'fraises' and not 'phrases', or how could I be so cruel?

If the latter, please picture a :)

Ziana got you, ira

Probably, but one has to be careful about sensitive feelings. :)

ira, you devol, you :))))))))))

I enjoy the forum and got some great help from it. (hope I helped others too).
I also received some practical help from Ira about technicalities in the beginning.
but, I must admit I am also a little worried about the spelling police.
I double check my spelling, wondering sometimes if you take into account that we are not all from the USA, and English might not be our mother language ?
by the way, you should see the forum in my country were no one makes a search, and you get questions like " I am going this weekend for a week to Paris, what can I do there ?" every day.

WHAT Iffffffff someone will chack your spelling, would it kill you ? Common, whiners, cheer up !

o.k. Ziana. i checked - chack on Babylon and came up with "to toss up the head frequently, as a horse to avoid the restraint of the bridle". i wonder...

Wonder no more. I was born in Horse year. See, this is why... Easy.

Ziana, i am a Ram....sensitive among other characteristics. which explains...
on a more serious notes. country is more than language. there are those codes that make you understand each other much quicker. see the last post in the Budapest of Giovanna....
(and i didn't check my spelling this time)

Welcom back, Tat.

skaf, now I am confused, and I am affraid that ... I am affraid (if it does make sense),
but other then that I am very happy that we all having fun in this otherwise scary thread !

Anyone else feel like they're in a dysfunctional family meeting?

Yes, and this family already have Horse.
(I am glad I didn't mizspel Horse).

i suppose it is morning wherever you are so that might explain...
here it is already dark...

Its Noon.