Cold feet
 

My daughter and I have been planning a trip to London and Paris for four months now and it's finally time to go on the 9th and I feel like I just can't do it! I'm worried about being able to function in Paris. I'm not as concerned about London. I'm foreseeing being lost and frustrated and just generally not having a good time in Paris, mostly because of the language difference and because neither of us speak any French, much, and have not been there before and it's just the two of us - two inexperienced travelers, suburban-dwelling, mini-van-driving, average American women - one with stars in her eyes about the trip and the other more realistic as to the potential problems and frustrations!

You'll be fine. Just pick up a good guidebook and map in English when you get there. If you're going with a company, they'll be able to arrange guided tours. You'll find that many people will speak English so long as you ask them nicely, and apologise for not speaking French. A phrasebook will be useful too and as it says on the front of the "Hitch-hikers' guide to the galaxy", DON'T PANIC!

Leigh, I went through the same feelings myself 2.5 years ago when I traveled (alone) to London and Paris. (Solo in London, met a friend and her husband in Paris.) A couple days before the trip, which my husband sent me on while he stayed home with our child, I panicked and did not want to go. If I could have gotten a refund, I think I would have, but it was too late. I had always wanted to go to those cities, but was petrified when the time actually came.<BR><BR>Once I got to London and got acclimated, I settled down and had a great time. Don't worry about being in Paris, it's really not that difficult. You'll have a great time.<BR><BR>

Hi:<BR>Well warm those piggies!!<BR>My first trip to Europe was to Paris with Mom. We both had only high school French (me out of HS 25 Years and her almost 50!)<BR>We experienced many emotions flying over and none of them panned out!<BR>We've been back two more times since that first trip.<BR>We had a wonderful time. I found that Parisians were warm and love to practice their HS English with you.<BR>Two women togther especially Moms and daughters seemed to bring the best out of the waiters, hotel people, etc.<BR>Please go and have a wonderful time. You'll be planning your next trip before this one even ends!

Dear Leigh,<BR>I get like that every time I go to Europe - and I go every 3 or 4 months, and I speak French! Don't let it get to you - I think it's just a function of being excited and being in a position of not being able to do anything constructive in the last couple of days before a trip. Being intelligent and anticipating problems doesn't always help, because there's a fine line between being prepared for a problem, and being obsessed with everything that could go wrong. So don't chicken out, breathe deeply, focus on the beauty and wonder of where you're going, remember how you're going to feel like a genius managing all of this, trust in other people (even Parisians are very kind) and have faith in yourself! All will be wonderful, and you will wonder what worried you.

Leigh:<BR>Girl..have a ball. You will be just fine. Get a phrase book, learn what you can, don't stress. Be a big smilling face for your daughter. You become an experienced traveler by getting lost and not falling apart. OK, some of us experienced travelers fall apart, get lost, loose it and lie like the devil when we get back home about it!<BR>Paris can be frustrating but so can day to day life in America. I will take a travel day in Paris over an average day at the grocery, bank, over the stove, driving in traffic...you get what I am saying...Hope this helps.<BR>Also, the Parisian people can be"short" with you. Do not take that personally, it can be a part of the travel experience.

Please please don't chicken out! You WILL be fine. It is just pre-trip jitters. Keep on saying "Sometimes getting lost can be fun". And You will survive.... when you get back we want a trip report, OK? Judy :-).

Leigh, <BR>Your feelings are 100% normal.. you are doing a brave, wonderful thing... you are taking risks, you are exposing yourself to something new... exciting.... terrifying! You are doing something that sadly, many people never get the guts to do... and you are actually DOING IT!!! Nothing worth doing is ever without fear of the unknown... but mark my words... you will amaze yourself.. and possibly your daughter, you will discover strengths you didn't know you had, and once this first trip is over you will KNOW that it can be done, that you can do it.. and most likely you will want to do it again... See travel addict threads...<BR>Bottom line, think of all those people who live longing to do these things and never have the courage to do it! <BR>Go girl! We are with you!!!

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one. We (spouse, child) are leaving tomorrow for our first trip to London and I'm scared stiff right now, even though both my husband and I have been to Europe before (though not together). Once I get there, I'll probably be fine; it's just getting the trip underway that can be nerve-wracking.

Thyra your posting was fabulous! I just went to Italy by myself and had the same great fear before I left. I had a wonderful time and feel, brave and empowered. Believe it or not, I loved traveling alone. (I never was alone- I kept meeting wonderful people).I have absolutely no fear of going again alone or with a friend. I also know that when I want to do something I can do. Go- it will all be okay and you will feel wonderful about yourself! Jcat

Don't feel like the lone ranger...<BR><BR>I felt the same way before my first trip to Paris after hearing all the horror stories about how nasty the french can be. <BR><BR>I found nothing farther from the truth. The people were very nice, friendly and helpful. Several times when we had our map out, people would approach us to see if they could help. We even had one lady stay on the metro with us so we wouldn't miss our stop. Paris is such a beautiful city...you're going to LOVE it. I wanna go!!!

You'll be fine. I went to Paris last year with my husband. We flew into Paris after almost 24 hours of travel (coming from Hawaii). We were totally jet lagged and confused (due to exhaustion) by the time we got to our hotel. We didn't even have any French francs with us and couldn't find an ATM at the airport! Fortunatly we had already arranged for an airport shuttle. Anyhow, we wandered out and got money from an ATM and then went to eat. As we walked down the street in a tired daze it sunk in that we were going to have to communicate in FRENCH! And, of course, we were both so tired that we couldn't recall a single word of French. We were fine and managed to get our supper and everything worked out. We even recalled how to say thank you in French. So, don't worry - a some pre-trip jitters are normal. We found people in France to be friendly and perfectly understanding of our terrible attempts to speak French (and I do mean TERRIBLE attempts - I couldn't even understand myself). Paris is easy to navigate around in even if you don't speak French and a good attitude a very few words of French (hello and thank you being most imporant) will go miles. Enjoy your trip!

My daughter and I are also making our first trip to Paris. I have agonized over every aspect of planning this trip and wondered if I was nuts trying to pull this off since I don't speak French (luckily my daughter speaks some). Our time to leave is also drawing near and I am nervous, but not as much as before. Reading the different experiences of others on this forum has helped. Be sure to read the thread about what people thought they were saying in different languages and what they were actually saying! There will be many of us stumbling through our first trips - join the crowd! I already have a whole new appreciation of foreign visitors in this country now.

I've traveled a lot and I still occasionally get anxious before going someplace where I don't speak the language, even though I live in Germany and hardly speak German! For some reason, some places seem more 'foreign' and I get more nervous about going there. We always go anyway and always have a great time!

SciGirl: Very funny(but true for me too) posting,,,,I love the part about TERRIBLE French. I feel your pain, BIG TIME. My attempts at French still bring smiles to my husband and me. I remember sitting in a restaurant feeling very envious of the excellent French being spoken by Americans, or Brits or Aussies. <BR>Leigh, you will be fine and remember TO SMILE! Most people love a good smile! Judy :-) IMHO

Anyone familiar with "le synge est dans l'arbre"?

And that would be relevant to these two ladies who don't speak any French HOW?

Leigh, when I get into the frame of mind you're now in, I remind myself that these (not moments in Paris or anywhere else) are the moments that are the worst part about traveling and a sure sign that a trip like this is long overdue for me -- I've gotten too much into the comfortable rut.<BR><BR>Almost everyone feels that way, even to the point of canceling the trip. I did cancel a trip once on a trumped-up excuse, and it not only depressed me for a long time after that that I'd caved, but it made it that much harder the next time I had to travel. <BR><BR>I promise you, when you get onto the plane, you'll feel a little better; when you get off the plane in Europe, you'll feel still better; and when you sit down to your first meal in Paris, you'll have quite a high!<BR><BR>Just don't gauge yourself by how you feel when you are tired, and expect that your first evening over there, you'll be pretty much whipped from jet-lag and the hassles of traveling. So _don't think about anything_ that night except catching up on sleep. <BR><BR>RE: Le synge est dans l'arbre. The only reference I can think of is a routine by Eddie Izzard (a brilliant British comedian, incidentally an "executive," bilingual transvestite), in which he spoofs the uselessness of most French phrases taught in school. The phrase is translated: "The monkey is in the tree."

In the last 2 years I have moved to 2 different countries that I had never been to before let alone been able to speak the local language (very rural parts of Netherlands and Switzerland). If I was able to adjust to living here and deal with all the daily frustrations (with the occasional breakdowns) like trying to get a telephone connection, doctors, etc. Believe me you will be just fine in a major tourist center like Paris. All the hang-ups and nervousness I ever had at sounding "stupid" are long gone. Have a great trip!

Leigh,<BR><BR>Only 3 more days! I promise you that you will not regret this trip.<BR><BR>My husband and I have been to Paris twice. We both took 4 years of HS French (and I did some college and Berlitz). Even with that, the French people usually recognize our American accents and switch the conversation to English more often than not. As someone said above, they probably want to practice their HS English. <BR><BR>The last time we went, we checked into our hotel and immediately went out for lunch at a cafe. We were excited to use our rusty French, but we only got out one sentance before the waiter said "Why don't you just speak English, it is better that way." We still laugh about that. Anyhow, my point is, even if you know French, you don't necessarily end up using it much. You really will be fine.<BR><BR>Enjoy!

To maintain your muscles, you must exercise; to maintain your mind, you must think; to maintain your nerve, you must dare.<BR><BR>

Leigh, whenever I read about robberies or snobby Parisians or any of the up-scale mags with their 4-star recommendations, I, too, reach a point where I'm dreading my trip. Then I think about all those who have gone - some with absolutely no idea of how to behave, what to expect, where to go, and I realize that I'm way ahead of the game. But more importantly, I just say to myself, "My vacation - at last! I'm gonna just be myself, have fun, get lost, make a fool of myself, laugh at it, and come home with some tales to tell." I know the feeling you have - you want it to be great. Don't ask too much of yourself, just be determined to enjoy the time with your daughter. Focus on those stars in her eyes - she'll see their reflection in yours. It's simply too precious an occasion to worry. Be brave, and be silly a lot.

Leigh: I am just like everyone else who answered your post. I was also conserned on my first trip to France. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about and I think the little bits of confusion you may encounter will end up being the highlights of your trip. The only French you should have to know is: Bonjour, au revoir and merci. Don,t forget to smile, it will open many doors. Bon voyage! I also think a lot of us would like to hear from you when you get back.<BR><BR>Randy<BR><BR>Elvira: Thank you for your thought. It helped make my day.<BR><BR>To maintain your muscles, you must exercise; to maintain your mind, you must think; to maintain your nerve, you must dare.<BR>

I just returned on Monday from my first ever trip to England and Paris and given the chance I would go again in a minute. My French consists of hello, please, thank you and do you speak English, and contrary to what I had heard most of the people we encountered did not speak any English. Despite this language barrier we did ok. (Although the phrase "could you please reset the gas pump" would have saved us from an unfortunate incident in which my husband almost choked a really rude attendant. We ended up just going to another station to fill up and the attendant there was really nice.) My point is that you have to take the bad experiences in stride and not let them ruin your trip. I'm sure you will love Paris and please go to the Louvre. It will make all the hassle worth it.

Just keep reminding yourself: Lots of people far more .. .stupid .. than you go to Europe every day and have a fabulous time, don't get lost (or maybe they do - and see something they never expected to see, eat something they would never have imagined eating .. .)<BR> - and where else in the world can you imagine being more thrilled just to be alive than in Paris! Go see 'the hand of God' at the Musee Rodin and imagine NOT having made this trip and seeing this most breathtaking of sculptures . . . and PLEASE let us here from you when you get back!<BR><BR>One last bit of advice that I always tell my children when we travel: As you walk through the city, periodically stop in your tracks, turn around and see what's behind you - you'll get a totally different perspective of where you've been.<BR><BR>Have a joyous adventure!

You'll be just fine. I don't speak a word of Chinese and managed just fine getting through China for two weeks. I was so proud of myself when I was able to even get my airline tickets changed while I was over there. It's often a tough task here in the US where I speak the language! <BR><BR>Europe is a really quite an easy place to travel to, despite the langauge barrier. Trust me, they're very used to having foreigners visit and won't be the least bit surprised that you don't know the language.<BR><BR>If it makes you feel any better, I just got back from Scotland and most of the time I couldn't understand anyone despite speaking the same langauge. I got along just fine. Just smile alot and have a great time! It will be an experience of a lifetime and you'll be so happy that you went.

Paris is a very easy city in which to find your way around, provided that you have a good map. The bus routes are well marked on large street maps posted on the bus stop shelter, and the Metro stations have good route maps.<BR>I have yet to take a wrong train or bus in Paris. I do, however, figure out in advance what I need to do, because I do not speak French. Although several people have offered assistance in English while I was riding, I don't think you can rely on that type of aid. I am sure you can find a Paris map in a big bookstore like Borders or Barnes and Noble.<BR>I like the Michelin #7 map because it is small enough to carry. The big Michelin mAp is vital, but I never take it out of my hotel room because it is quite large.<BR>If I need to, I mark on one of the free maps that are often found at your hotel or various tourist spots.<BR>But study a map before you go, or while you are going. And if you get really lost, take a taxi back to your hotel.<BR>As Tom Lehrer used to sing, "... don't be frightened, don't be scared; be prepared."

It's normal to be a little apprehensive going on any trip. I felt that way, and ended up doing fine. When you're back home, you'll wonder why you'd never done it before.<BR><BR>The people in Paris are great....and I walked around in shorts, white tennis shoes, and a fanny pack, with 2 large Nikon cameras hanging around my neck. <BR><BR>Don't worry about being lost....you've never seen that part of the world anyway. Getting lost is usually one of the highlights of our european trips.