CLARA SPOTTING
 

The wonderful Clara has been spotted being rude to a hairdresser in Belgium....see the post titled "Why do Americans Do this". Seems that Clara is still bitter over Herb leaving her for the French chippie

I saw Clara arm-wrestling a bartender who tried to refuse keeping the change from the tab. That woman is one nasty drinker, I tell you. <BR> <BR>But Herb has his own problems. I hear the French chippie was trying to give him back the 1000F note he left for her after a particularly great night. The gendarmes are checking the regulations to see if this constitutes assault.

I saw Clara kissing Bippy underneath the Christmas tree last night ...

Thanks for the warning. Fifi (the so called French chippie) and I were planning a trip to Belgium but seeing that Clara has been spotted there we will reschedule to elsewhere. I of course must keep the new spot secret to avoid one of you tipping Clara off. I really do not want to see her, as I am afraid she may cause a scene. She just can not come to terms with the fact that I dumped her old, fat, wrinkled ass for my little Fifi, my sweet little 20 something French "chippie" as Clara puts it. On, will she never get over it? I do think it all goes back to the trauma she suffered when out dear Robert had the sex change operation and became out dear Roberta. Sigh! Pity that.

OK, I am new to this forum and now I feel like I have missed something really interesting. Who are these people? Inquiring mind wants to know.

A famous Herb and Clara thread that started off something like Trip Report London Part 1 of 396 or some such thing. Ended having about 300 plus replies to it and they were all funnier then hell. Any of the good toppers out there want to go find it and bring it back to the top?

Oh, this is just great! <BR> <BR>I go away for a while, and I come back to see my good name being smeared all over this board. <BR> <BR>Well, let me update you all. First of all, everything you've read about me is an enormous pack of lies. I am getting along fine, and I am just as gracious as ever. <BR> <BR>In fact, Herb and I are considering a reconcilliation. You see, there is this new reality TV show called "The Amazing Race." Herb and I would be a team racing around the globe to win a million dollars. I think sprinting through airport and getting lost on distant continents is just what we need to patch things up between us. <BR> <BR>I sent in our audition tape and perhaps we'll be selected as the "Couple Who Bickers Contantly." I'll let you know. <BR> <BR>The "Original" Clara

Clara, if you really want to win this one, you are going to have to change your evil forced-tipping ways. The producers of that show seem to enjoy showing people who get lost and chew out local residents for not knowing where they, the visitors, are going. <BR> <BR>However, I am sure many of the people who post here will be willing to help you with behavior becoming an ugly American. They are all experts. <BR> <BR>PS: Herb's in Italy tipping the pickpockets while Fifi is at the beauty parlor not having her legs waxed.

No no no, Clara. Rex and Mrs. Rex are the couple who bickers constantly! Sorry, I couldn't resist. <BR> <BR>Frequent poster who prefers anonymity on this one.

I am now hiding in the south of France. Please do not tell Clara

CLARA---- Herb's hiding out in the south of France.<BR>Don't tell him Me told you!

Herb, you lowlife! I have been searching for you and that French tramp Fifi. My lawyers at Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe are just waiting to get you in court so they can collect all of the back alimony you owe me. They have assigned the crack divorce lawyer Seymour Butts to handle the case and he assures me that you will pay through the nose. See you in court loser.

&lt;he assures me that you will pay through the nose&gt;<BR><BR>Actually, I intend to see to it that Herb will be making very large per anum payments for years to come.

Mon Dieu! Herb will give all his money to Clara? This is tres terrible! I ceratainly didn't run off with him for his wit or charm or, umm, other talents...

where oh where is Clara now? And has anyone see Herb and Fifi lately. This was one of the funniest of the old threads.