PatD

We have been invited to spend Christmas with the family of a French exchange student that spent a summer with us in the US. Parents don't speak English, we have limited French. But- cultural divides are probably more of an issue. For those who live in France or have relatives or friends you visit, what are the most important "mores" or rules to follow when a guest in a french home? Do the French celebrate Christams with as much panache as the Americans? What should I know about staying in a French home and observing Christmas? Probably two separate questions. Need some guidance - feeling a bit nervous!

Underhill

In what part of France will you be spending Christmas? Customs can differ by regions, especially in Provence.

We found that Christmas in France is more family-oriented, but expect towns and cities and even villages to have very nice holiday decorations. The French are big on holiday foods, and you will see displays in most shops.

Families in Provence who attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve often have a "reveillon," a celebratory meal after the church service. During the month of December the "Treize Desserts"
--including nuts, raisins and other dried fruit, and regional cakes--are
offered after meals.

Wherever you'll be spending Christmas you'll have a fine time--especially at Christmas lunch!

Lori

We have relatives in Paris and have spent Christmas with them. The "big" meal, etc. was on Christmas Eve, and quite late in the evening too (that may just be a family custom). Presents were also exchanged Christmas Eve. It did not appear to us that presents were the big deal they are in the U.S. Everyone got presents, but it was not "overdone". Our relatives would probably be considered upper middle class if here in the U.S. (I hate saying things like that, but it does matter I suppose since family economics may dictate holiday habits).

The dinner on the 24th was elaborate, several courses, fancy dessert and champagne. I don't think they did it for our benefit either.

On Christmas Day other relatives dropped by, cake and champagne were served. Younger kids played with toys, older kids disappeared where ever older kids go and the adults just had a low key family day. All in all it was lovely.

pinkorigami

Table manners...(I may just be horrible at home but...) they rest their wrists at the table; clean your plate, don't waste; when eating your baguette w/ cheese, open it up down the middle (like a sandwich) instead of spreading it over the top, if there's soemthing left on your plate you just can't get with your utensils use a piece of bread to scoop it up, offer beverages to others BEFORE serving yourself... most importantly, relax, participate in conversation and ENJOY yourselves!

Dave_in_Paris

We've spend a portion of the Christmas holiday with French friends in Paris for the last two decades. No doubt there are variations in the way Christmas is celebrated here, but from our experience, you might expect: the exchange of gifts, but perhaps fewer and more modest; attendance at Mass if your hosts are Catholic; relatives' visits to their home, or your hosts' making visits to relatives' homes; lively conversation that you won't be expected to follow; and good food. If I were you, I would bring a few presents, wrapped, and age sorted if your hosts have young children - small books, photo calendars, things particular to where you live, craft items - anything nicely made and attractive and definitely not expensive. An invitation to a French home is no little thing, and especially at Christmas time. But you really can do no wrong socially as long as you are polite. You're being honored for your generosity as a host in your own land. You're not expected to know the rules in France. Relax and enjoy.

sheila

I think the Christmas Eve not Christmas Day thing is ubiquitous; I think that Christmas Day is much more ordinary than here in the UK or in the US.

Be nice. You can't go wrong.

Voyager2006

Very good advice from above, especially your status as having been invited to share this important holiday. I would not go expecting "panache" especially if that is another term for "commercialism."