rach

I have been planning a lovely trip to the Black Forest and Mosel Valley of Germany for the last 5 months. Everything was set.
My anxiety/excitement level was soaring. I was dreaming in German again. But ten days before I am to leave, I must cancel (hopefully postpone?) all due to urgent need for surgery in family member. I've got a ton of emails and phone calls to make (many in another language) to get a partial reimbursement and to apologize to my landladies/petsitters. I feel guilty for mourning my trip, but can't show my disappointment to family members. Am I just being selfish? Dr. Phil? Anyone?

Scarlett

Awww honey, I am sorry you had to cancel your trip!
We had to cancel a trip once, it was a biggie and we had planned for months and months..I know how you feel. Of course, you should not feel guilty about mourning the lovely trip you cannot take! You would feel guilty if you went, regardless of a family member being ill. The best thing I can think to tell you (and believe me, I am not nor do I listen to Dr Phil) .. just get through this and start planning the trip as soon as you can rebook it. If not this one, another one.
We did that, waited a month or so and took a different trip.
I have come to find that the old saying is so true-You plan and you plan, then Life happens!
you will go on your trip..

mamc

It happens to all of us at one time or another. It is a blue feeling. A few years ago, my sisters and I planned to go to Paris and the Loire Valley in September. Five days before we were to leave, my brother in law had a heart attack. We were all too terrified to worry about our trip but as soon as it became clear that he would be OK we began to feel awful about missing Paris. We started to plan again and went to Paris and Provence the next May. The trip was a huge success. And yours will be too when you reschedule.

alan64

Disappointment is natural. I would only feel guilty if I were in your position and DIDN'T cancel. The fact that you're mourning the loss of your trip shows what a sacrifice you're making. Be proud of your devotion to family, and best wishes for your relative's recovery.

naturegirl

Rach, I symphasize with you. Today I was to depart on a Paris/Italy trip for 12 days - however, my so called "best friend" cancelled my ticket with American (both tickets were from another person's mileage - long story). I am resolved that I am not going as I always believe everything happens for a reason. Already planning another trip for 2005 - life goes on. We will both get to Europe.

rach

Thanks everyone!
Will concentrate next on getting dad through this risky surgery.
Have already asked my landlady in the Black Forest if she'll hold my deposit for September...better wine festivals at that time of the year anyway!

cigalechanta

Rach, best wishes for your father's quick recovery and you have a right to your feelings.
Naturegirl, That's the spirit, you, two will get there.

amyb

Rach, if you click on my name you'll see a post about how this happened to me last year when my Dad had a stroke ten days before my trip to Italy. I knew at the time it was the absolute best thing to do to stay here with him, but there's no avoiding the blues.

What I did once the situation got settled was really focus on planning the trip again, and it made me reexamine some of the choices we'd made and we planned a much better trip (which we then had to cut short to come home when my grandmother died! But that's a story for another day.)

So take care of Dad now, but get your excitement up again (and divert your mind) thinking about "next time". You WILL go, just not right now! Best wishes to your family.

bookchick

rach, I, too, have been down this route before.

I completely cancelled a trip to Paris in October of 2001, due to the World Trade Center bombings. (Long story short is that the flight we would have taken had been cancelled, and although there were other flights, they would have involved additional stops & more $$$.) I ended up going to Rome in January of 2002, having the time of my life, and getting hired to edit and translate a book!

Last year, I was supposed to go to Rome in January, and my mom was critically ill. A lot of people told me to go anyway, but I knew in my heart if something happened to her, I'd never forgive myself. Luckily, I had travel insurance that covered that, and about a month or six weeks later, I was on my way back to Italy!

rach, I know it will all work out for you. Everything happens for a reason, even if we can't understand it at the time!

Best Wishes,
BC