Bye Fodors
 

I have not posted a lot here and now I will not come back. I am specifically referring to the post by DutyFree and her top ten list.
You know people she is just trying to give some tips to help travelers. What ensued on the board was totally juvenile. She took time to post something. I know people are entitled to their opinions...but there is such thing as politeness.
This break down in civility just seems to be increasing.
I thank those of you who have been kind enough to post some really thoughtful answers and for sharing your travel info. You know who you are.....
To the arrogant, rude ones.....and you know who you are...I think you need to examine your own life and stop putting people down so viciously......stop trying to live through the internet.
There I have said what I have wanted to say for a long time. Again thanks to you that have been so helpful.

Katherine, sorry you decided to leave Fodors. I understand what you are referring to however, what you describe happens in all forums. Should not let it get to you so much.

Katherine - I agree with you compeltely - there are some real idiots who post here. But MOST of the posters are people with actual lives - lives which include a love of travel and who are willing to share their knowledge and opinions with others. Don't let the few jerks chase you away if you find some of the posts informative and interesting. It's pretty easy to see which posts are just people with nothing better to do than bicker with each other. Just skip those. This really is a very useful forum.

Oh Katherine, don't let some infantile behavior make you leave!
If you click on the posters that you find offensive, you most likely will see a pattern of bad manners..just as in life, get a large group together and there are bound to be a few people who just do not know how to behave.
So just like naughty children or those guys that make rude noises in the street, go right past them, ignore them, do not pay any attention to them!!
DutyFree will continue to post, I hope, so you should too.
TIP:
When you start to read a thread and see how it is going, if it is unpleasant, do not read it again. That saves me a lot of grief..
Hope you stay ((F)) Scarlett

I have read that thread and can't see what Katherine is on about.

Robespierre brought some technical insights to bear on the issue and somebody else got a bit upset, so bad luck for them.

Harzer

Katherine, isebel is rightt, stay, this is cyber space wher the nasties can hide and say things and the regulars will ignore you when they don't like you, as several do on my posts and you'll see the pattern. But those people have small minds though educated so, please hang in ; this is really the best travel site with alot of fun that doesn't exist on any other.

Hi Katherine- I am in full agreement with you, and have been back and forth alot about giving up this forum for similar reasons. I am still hanging in there for the moment, but just barely. Time is so precious, and it's better to spend in ways that are rewarding.

The way dutyfree was treated for coming forward and sharing her helpful insights as a flight attendant is a good example of the atmoshere that sometimes seems to permeate this forum.

Francophile has a point in that a certain amount of this is common to forums, although that doesn't really justify much of the rudeness that goes on here. It's a shame you are decided to leave, but I wish you luck. Sometimes things change with time, and maybe they will improve here. Lately, I have found myself wishing Fodor's would add a new forum called "Bickers, Banters, and Low Blows" so some of the more arrogant posters who enjoy doing this could have a separate home for themselves!

Add to that list "Whine-O's" LOL

There are so many people on these boards who have forged "real" friendships from posting here over the years, while there are the whiners, bickerers :) and whatevers, it is really usually a fun place to be and the Best for getting good travel information.
Don't go Katherine! :)

Now, now, Katherine. Calm down and don't do anything rash.

We really are a rather tame bunch compared to so many forums. And the bad ones win out if all the good folks leave.

Katherine, posts like this always make me want to encourage the poster to stay. The truth is, this forum is no more or less than a microcosm of the world at large. There will always be the arrogant and the rude, as well as the kind and helpful.

I agree that because our interactions here are not face to face, some take advantage of the anonymity to indulge their worst qualities. The flip side is, since you are not face to face, you can simply walk away and ignore what is unpleasant. (I haven't read the thread in question so can't make a judgment on it.)

I doubt very much if it will improve. It was much worse in the sense of being sometimes truly hostile and scary prior to registration. And I think perhaps some people are simply not cut out for the rough and tumble of an open forum like this. Only you can decide for yourself, however, I still think this is the best travel resource I've ever found.

Katherine - Just ignore the posts that have been upsetting you and concentrate on getting the wonderful travel information that is available here. Some people just do not play well with others. I understand that some people want annonimity but I find that not using a "screen name" keeps my own impulsive behavior in check. It is just to easy to hide behind a made up name and then people get ugly. Stay, enjoy the good information and share your own advice and simply ignore the rest. If you let them run you off then they have won. Take Care Jackie

Katherine, it took me some time on this board to disregard the "Cyber-Pompous." Every once in a blue moon they suck me in to their arrogance, but for the most part I move on. I try to avoid the pompous in real life and in Cyber life. You can do it.

Now, I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV, but have a glass of Brunello and come back into the fray. For the most part, this is a pretty fun place to come and learn about traveling in Europe.

There are some pompous remarks on this Board I actually enjoy (NYCFoodSnob comes to mind). I think those people have a Cyber niche that they relish, and can make insightful comments with little digs at people that provide no harm.

However, there are others who are just plain cranky people who either (1) don't have an avenue to vent in their own lives or (2) who are pompous in real life and this is just an extension of their pretentiousness. One will probably come on this thread and say, "Katherine, if you can't take my brutally honest comments, then good riddance." Just be happy they are not your friend (hopefully).

Anyway, I should stop my attempt at psychology. Pseudo Dr. Phil (heaven forbid) has left the building.
((H))

Maitaitom, I think I love you, :)

Katherine, pls bear in mind that the replies are written; they don't come with soft speaking tone. So chances are that sometimes we misinterpret the meaning of the replies. If the answers were said out loud, we might not be upset becuz the persons we were talking to were smiling, for example.

Anyway, I admitted that I don't know what happened to you personally. But I do encourage you to ignore unproductive replies.

"Maitaitom, I think I love you."

I believe that goes against the pseudo Dr. Phil - patient confidential agreement (but thanks).
((H))

Me too tom ((L))

I haven't been on this board very long but having come from another I have to say this board is TAME compared to what was allowed on some other boards. I think some people just feel they have no power in their lives and because they can post without anyone ever knowing who they are, this is somehow empowering to them. I understand what you mean, and sometimes I have felt the same way and then I wonder what the heck is wrong with me that I let myself get all in the tizzy over some comment by some idiot that I don't know, don't want to know, will never know and so why should i care? Forders removes more posts that a lot of other boards..or it seems that way since being here, and as others have suggested, just skip the nasties. It's a shame not to get the good information you seek that is furnished by MOST of the people posting here. Give it some more thought.

Oh yea...and just think, you would NEVER have learned of the charms of Molvania if not for this board. A new travel destination in my book.

Hi - I remember when the Fodor people brought in registration for anyone wanting to participate in this forum that there were dozens of posts from people lamenting the fact that this would stop people writing controversial posts. Well the response to Dutyfree's post has just proven that wrong and controversy is still alive and well and living at Fodors.

No one can tell you whether to go or stay that is up to you, but personally I prefer a little bit of spice in the posts and if they are just downright nasty or they offend me I ignore them and move on to the next one that sparks my interest.

crefloors, I was thinking that too :)
Where else can you find all there is to know about Molvania and what there is to do in Hell LOL

Katherine, I too have sympathy for people who get slammed unmercifullly on this board. Most of the banter is playful, but then things can turn nasty so often.

There are a lot of helpful, intelligent, humorous people on this forum, who sincerely want to help the inexperienced traveler.

I have noticed that some of the "old pros" NEVER respond or add fuel to a heated argument. They are dignified, and they are above the fray.

Hang in there kiddo.

<<This break down in civility just seems to be increasing.>>

This is simply not true.

I hate seeing anyone getting so worked up, essentially all over just one thread (which I had essentially not even noticed, despite its growing number of replies, for what it's worth - - the anti-children vitriol, rhetoric and defense has all been said here before, many times over).

Civility, and its absence, comes and goes here in waves. For me, much of the joy of this forum has been to have been here long enough to see newbie evolve into regulars. We'll miss you Katherine (I guess), but fortunately others will take your place, roll with the punches, and become part of the tapestry here by exhibiting some different kind of fiber.

Best wishes,

Rex

Katherine - Reread some of the old posts and notice the civility of persons such as Scarlet, Rex and Ira. In between all of the other rubbish you get to hear the excellent advice offered by some great fodors posters. Now, we are all waiting, are you leaving or staying?

Perhaps Elvis has already left the building.

Kathrine: It is so easy. Click; gone. There is no need to put up with the lunatic fringe. There is so much good information here and a real opportunity to help from time to time. Don't let the idiots chase you away, because then they win.

Don't let the pompous or rude ***** get you down.

Katherine, I think many of us who post often have felt as you are feeling now. I've come to the conclusion that there are certain topics that push all the hot buttons and bring out the worst in people.

Simply ignore those posts! This advice has been given time again and it's good advice. At first it's hard to take because unfortunately the "bad" posts are usually pretty interesting (in a peverse kind of way, of course). But it really does get easier NOT to read posts that have disintigrated, no matter how many times they're topped. And before you know it, you have NO interest in those kind anyway! And then you can concentrate on the useful and friendly posts which are always, thankfully, in the majority. I can tell you that I have met several wonderful Fodorites, people I am proud to call friends, and I'd hate for you to miss out on the same opportunity. Hang in there.

Katherine

Grow up.

Who's hurt by your one-woman boycott of this board? If it contains any information that's useful to you, you <b> and no-one else </b>. If it doesn't, you've been wasting your time hanging round on it anyway, whether or not the posters behave like a bunch of Milly Molly Mandies.

Who gains by your absence? Errr....

There's a totally valid debate to be had about kids on planes, and it's up to the debaters where they want to have it. If you don't want to read it, then don't.

Why the posters above are humouring your vacuous attitudinising is beyond me.

I'm with you on this one flanneruk!

Who cares.Stop whining.

Go ahead and leave and ask a bunch of people to feel sorry for you OR stay around and make the board a better place.

I'm not in the leats bit sorry that you didn't like my response or that of anyone else. If you don't like a reply then SAY SO rather than pursuing this passive-aggressive behavior.

Personally, I did not feel the &quot;Top Ten&quot; were anywhere NEAR the top ten and some of them were incorrect..and then the little cutsey response to &quot;which airline do you work for?&quot; ...that &quot;I'd rather not say&quot; routine..so teenager juvenile as the knife slides slowly into your back.

So, are you going to get over your little snit and stick with us big bad dogs or go feel sorry for yourself....?

With apologies to Mick Jagger:

You can't always get what you want
(a cooperative passenger/parent/child)

You can't always get what you want
(a reclined seat/a not-reclined seat)

You can't always get what you want
(a perfect messageboard of total harmony/total freedom of topics)

But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need

Sue, now I'm going to have that song in my head all day!

Bye.

Well, there you have it. The nasty little TopBoy has injected her first biting dose of superior wisdom.

I say bring on the screwballs and the trolls...that's what makes this board so much fun.

Milly molly mandies Flanneruk? LOL! Moi, a milly molly mandie? Surely you jest! Katherine: this board will pull you back like a siren's song IMO. I know, it happened to me;-).

Gee, this one went on for quite a while until the nasties flew in. The gang-uglies who swoop down remind me of the scenes of death in &quot;Ghost&quot; when the bad guys died.

JocelynP

It seems I created a monster, because now it's in my head, too.

Should we switch to, &quot;I Can't Get No...&quot;

Looks like the usual suspects couldn't resist.