MarthaN

25 Friendship Force members (2 teenagers, others 60 to 75 years old) will be home hosted in Hannover, Germany. We would appreciate your TIPS, helpful hints to being good house guests. ALSO, what we can expect - cultural differences in home, family life, host expectations, etc.

euroenvy

I find that european kids have good manners for the most part( talk yo yours about theirs)....bring a little gift that you get in the states and be sure to leave or send a thank you note.....at least thats what we do...

Edward2005

To be a good houseguest in Germany I suggest not invading any neighboring homes in the name of lebenshraum.

Queenie

Some off hand thoughts:
Be prepared to take your shoes off at the door. Walk in the house in stocking feet or slippers.

I do not know what time of year you are going, but it may be colder than you are used to in the house. It is common to heat the living room space only. Bedrooms are often very cold, so bring a sweater.

Germans often open all the windows in the house in the morning to get ‘fresh air’. Some windows are left cracked open 24/7 even when it is snowing outside.

Germans often hang their clothes outside on a hook overnight to freshen them. They do laundry far less often than folks from the US are used to.

If you have garbage, ask where to put it. Many things are recycled: glass, metal soda cans , papers, plastic, food scraps (fruit peelings etc) are all recycled and would not be thrown into the common trash can. Also, there are no garbage disposal systems in german kitchens.

I noted that the families I had stayed with often do not use napkins, or they use the same paper napkin for several meals. Why waste if its not too dirty.

If staying with older folks and speaking German, be sure to use the polite ‘Sie’ form at first, just to show respect. Younger folks are getting away from this.

And, above all, do not be too loud.

BTilke

We've spend a lot of time with our German relatives living in the Ruhr Valley. Your good "company" manners should serve you well. As suggested, bring a small gift. The point about recyclying is a good one to keep in mind--the Germans take recycling very seriously. Our relatives put out one small trash bin for collection every other week.
We never had noticed any unheated rooms. And our relatives certainly never re-used a paper napkin from one meal to the next!
Keep your rooms as neat as possible. Germans ARE good housekeepers, make sure the teenagers don't leave stuff lying around. Pack as lightly as you can...closet space will be at a premium. Take short showers.
Don't leave a lot of unfinished food on the plate. If you're not sure about a dish, better to take a small portion and have seconds if you like it than to take a larger portion and leave most of it unfinished.
Do some research into the area. Study up on Hannover's history. And also its current events. For example, Hannover hosts a very important high tech conferences every year (CeBit).

This is not the usual gift, but whenever we visit our German relatives, we take them a small spray bottle of cleaner with bleach in it. Maybe it's just where we were living, but bleach was virtually impossible to find in stores.

ncgrrl

When I first read Queenie's statement, I thought she had been to my parents' home (in the US).

Mom is always telling me she want me to breath fresh air. I'm usually sneezing and wheezing from allergies as she says this.

She always tells my Dad to put on a sweater (he is usually wearing one and under a blanket). Oh well, don't most couples fight over the house temperature.

And yes, she does all the recycling mentioned and reused paper napkins.

Cicerone

Buy a copy of "Culture Shock! Germany" which gives a fairly comprehensive and in my view accurate picture of culture and customs in Germany. The books are part of the Culture Shock series of books published by Graphic Arts Center Publishing Company. You can buy them on line from Amazon or your local bookstore can order it for you. Copy out the relevant parts for the other 24 of you.

Ingo

Queenie, thanks for the good laugh! You described some nice stereotypes - like you experienced them yourself, but you cannot generalise.

Logos999 - don't feel offended. I guess we Germans know similar (but other) prejudices and stereotypes on Americans. Simply things they would not like to hear (and things which make us think they are crazy )

A tip for MarthaN - behave like you use to behave in America. Germans are eager to experience different cultures. They will not feel offended if you are doing things which you use to do and which are unusual for Germans.

KT

Okay, here's a generalization for you. I've done homestays in a number of European countries as a Servas traveler. Two years ago, during three weeks in Europe I stayed with a few hosts and with German friends who live near Hannover, and I also spent time with other Germans who were friends of my hosts. I'd have to say that the one thing that surprised me is that the Germans I met did not live up to the reputation of being uptight, rule-bound folks. In my experience, it was just like Ingo says -- they seemed quite tolerant of my foreign quirks.

KT

Sorry, I meant to say that I spent all three weeks in Germany on this trip, not three weeks in Europe. My only other German trip was a three-day visit to my friends, tacked onto a trip to Denmark. And I thoroughly enjoyed the whole time there.

suze

My houseguest experiences are in French speaking Switzerland, so customs may vary slightly but...

As Queenie mentioned my friends also do not do laundry so often and DO hang clothing to air. They also don't take as many showers as I normally do.

So for houseguest suggestions:

- Ask if you can help with something. For instance my girlfriend doesn't want me cooking or even making coffee... but she does appreciate it when I take out the garbage, or tote the wine bottles to the recyling container down the street, or set the table for dinner.

- Don't expect to take a shower once or twice a day. Sponge bath in the sink to freshen up, and be quick in the shower when you do use it. Be careful with your towel as it may have to last the length of your stay.

- Ask if you can do an errand like going to the market, bakery, or grocery store for them. Get specific instructions so you can buy the correct item and offer to pay for it. Or notice what they commonly use around their house (for example, if a bowl of mixed nuts is set out) and buy exactly that as a gift. Flowers might be a good gift, but again I would observe if this is something they usually have in their home (if not they might find it a silly extravagance or be allergic or something).

- Keep your eyes open and pay attention to subtle things. For instance, en Suisse you do not recycle bottles on a Sunday (too noisy). Or removing shoes, reusing napkins, etc., as mentioned.

- Be hyper-observant and follow what others do is my best overall suggestion for fitting in as a graceful houseguest.

harzer

I'm with you on this one Queenie. I lived in Germany from 1960 to 1967 and was a guest at the home of many different people from time to time.

Whether logos likes it or not the Germans shower and wash far less often that they do where I come from (Australia). But they don't play much outdoor sport or go out in 40C/100F temperatures very often either.

My very good friend who had a senior position with the Bundeswehr wore the same shirt to work five days a week.

And outdoor shoes off and Hausschuhe on is a very common rule when entering the house.

Airing clothes in an open window is till commonly done from my observations.

To really get onside with the Germans bring in loads of beer and wine with you from time to time - but ascertain the hosts' tastes first.

I don't suppose logos has had any experience of living in the countries we are using as the base for comparison. Maybe he should do that first.

Harzer

metellus

One German quirk is that they have a much larger personal space than anyone else. They don't like you being too close to them when you talk. They tend to close the doors of rooms they are in to define their space. So close the door of you room when you are there.

The idea that Germans are also anal retentive is also true. They like things well defined. Look for cues that they are setting up boundaries between you and them. If you have refrigerator priveleges, you can bet that there will be a sharp distinction, for example between your food and theirs.

Of course, these are general rules and the people you are staying with might be different. But start out assuming all this to be accurate and go from there.

How do I know this stuff? Simple. I was lived in Germany and was studying cultural anthropology.

MarthaN

THANK YOU for all the helpful advice and information! I also found more info on an Internet search. APPRECIATE the time you took to reply! We always take gifts to our home host and take them out for meals or prepare meals for them (depending on the culture). We always study-up on the culture.

KT

Ummm.... 1967 was a while ago. I'll bet that in those days the Germans didn't have computers, wear sneakers, or recycle, either. The economy has changed a bit in the past 30-odd years, as have amenities in the home.

massagediva

From my experience as a houseguest,you will be expected to eat eat eat! and then eat some more!

trvlite2

Wow -- I'm a newbie here -- it sure is interesting the direction some of these threads take....
I'm going to change the subject slightly; hope I don't offend anyone. Martha, you'll likely be seeing the area around Hannover -- one of the really cool sites/sights I visited this past summer was the Uelzen train station. Uelzen is north of Hannover about an hour by train -- the station was designed by Friedrich Hundertwasser, an amazing artist/architect. I was actually just passing through, but stopped there for an hour just to look at everything; gorgeous! Also, 30 minutes north of Hannover is Celle; it's worth a visit, too.

logos999

Now there is certainly a difference between "cultural differences" and racism. Just most of what was written in this tread is NOT about cutural differences (see my previous post). Its simply assigning certain attributes to a whole bunch of people. Among those people you might find a few persons who fit this description but not more than any other group of people or nationality or belief or colour of skin....

These desciptions do not define "german" or any other nationality, group of people or ... Using them this way and implying everybody in this group is like this, is racist.

mkdiebold

I don't know if the folks you'll be staying with are smokers, but lots and lots of Germans smoke heavily. We've always asked for non-smoking rooms but many times the smoke is so intense in the rest of the house that it's drawn into the bedrooms anyway making it nearly impossible to breathe. I don't know of any polite way of handling that. I've always said that the American tobacco companies won't go out of business as long as the Europeans keep up their smoking habit.