tod

awbaker- What a sensible mommy you are!
Nanny's are a part of our everyday life where I live and going on holiday with your Nanny was fun for her as well.
My neice had twins straight after her first baby and hired two nanny's 24hrs.
She still has her sanity and is totally devoted to her children.
Have a wonderful stress free holiday dear.

awbaker

thanks so much for the encouragement -- I know that we will enjoy having our children experience Italy with us AND also enjoy having some time alone as a couple to catch up.

Huitres -- I forgot to mention to you that the teacher, let's call her M, actually offered to pay for her own airfare, just accepting the room/board -- that's how much she wants to see Italy. But since we have enough FF miles which will expire, we wouldn't let her. SO, you might want to consider M for one of your trips if you provided room/board?!! She'd probably be excited to practice her Italian with you and your daughter!

Huitres

Hi awbaker: sounds like you made an excellent arrangement with her, she is quite fortunate that you are picking up her travel tab. When my younger sister was 18, she went as an "au pair" 2 summers in a row with a family back to Germany to watch their 2 young children. They never paid for her airfare, instead paying her for her time and providing lodging, food, etc. So I would say in your case, glad it worked out for you to use the miles for her and that she can see Italy.

Thank you for the offer but no thanks, I don't need a nanny when traveling. I just got back from Milano 3 days ago for a quick 6 day trip. Me and my little one had a wonderful time, despite the freezing cold. I have enough friends in Italy to watch her if I should need the help!

wliwl

First off I can't imagine wanting to take a family vacation with a stranger along! Second, travelling with kids is not hard - especially if you go someplace they enjoy too like a simple cabin on a lake or a beach house with their cousins or something. I actually feel a little sorry for kids who get subcontracted out on vacation. What are their vacation memories? Oh well. To each his own (unless you're on the internet...).

LoveItaly

I don't understand what the problem is for some regarding take a nanny along on a vacation.

Doesn't one have others care for their children from time to time at home so the parents can go to a quite dinner together, or a play, a concert, a shopping mall etc.

IMHO having a nanny that can allow little ones to take a nap, play in a park, have some books read to them etc. while the parents take in a museum or art gallery or go to dinner (which tends to be served late in Italy) is a kindness for the child. Little ones get tired and cranky being dragged around everywhere especially when their schedules are disrupted.

Just my opinion of course, for what it is worth.

Patrick

"Message: I don't understand what the problem is for some regarding take a nanny along on a vacation."

LoveItaly, the answer is simple. It's called "jealousy".

LoveItaly

Ooooooh, thanks Patrick! Guess with that passport change, plus a family members call regarding a problem with a child, and a couple of other dumb problems today I am not feeling like the brightest lightbulb on the chandalier, LOL.

awbaker

LoveItaly, you phrased what I was thinking much better than I ever could.

And Patrick, I always enjoy your wit! hmmm... www.patrickthenanny.com, did you say?

wliwl

Uhm...well I beg to differ on the "jealousy" issue... Many people feel extremely blessed with their kids and their life just the way it is.

You post, you get opinions. That's what gets one thinking about various options out there.

gradyghost

I always wonder when I hear someone say:

>I'm sorry but I have to ask..<

For me, that triggers the response that it may not be any of your business.

lyb

I don't want to get an arqument but we all have different philosophies and since I think that vacation is a time for families, I was curious. If I don't ask, I'll never why, will I? I totally understand needing a nanny while working, but I'm sorry, I don't understand why parents would go on vacation and then have someone else take care of them, vacations are family time. As far as a husband and wife spending time alone, I'm all for that, but I have known too many couples who have nannies for long periods of time and are rather sad when the children end up being more attached to the nanny than the parents.

Personally, I also don't understand people who have dogs and get some else to train them and walk them.

I just think it's sad for the kids.

MonicaRichards

But I think for the original poster they're only going to use the nanny on either a day trip with them some days OR an evening out on others. So on any given day the children will be primarily with the parents with the nanny along for backup. I like the idea, although for me, besides the fact that I don't have the cash, I wouldn't like an extra person on vacation. I like to do things my way and if I get tired and bratty I don't want any witnesses!

LoveItaly

Hi lyb, you asked, so I am going to answer. Of course this is my thoughts, and many others will disagree.

And before I answer may I say that awbaker was NOT asking for permission or approval about a nanny, she was asking if anyone had any experiences about hiring a nanny in Italy. That is a big difference.

Information, not asking advice should she or should she not hire a nanny.

Anyway, IMHO there is such a high percent of divorces because husbands and wives no longer have special times together alone, without their children.

Another thought. Many and I do mean many people travel without their children. They leave their children with grandparents or other family members. And that IMHO is not a problem either.

But awbaker and her DH are taking their toddlers with them! awbaker said she did NOT like being away from her children last year. Something I can relate to.

But they want and need time to do some sightseeing and again as I mentioned before probably some beautiful romantic dinner times alone. What is wrong with that?

As long as they have a responsable, educated person watching over their young ones I personally do not see why they should be critized.

Again, as I said in my earlier post, little ones (especially age two and four) need a schedule and some down time).

For families that want to do a complete "family oriented family vacation" say like DisneyWorld that is great. And who is to say that awbaker and family do not do that as well.

But to indicate that awbaker (who I do not know at all) is being a thoughtless and selfish parent - well I completely disagree.

Again IMHO, I think this family is a close knit family that loves and cares for their children but also cares about their marriage.

Just my opinion.

lyb

LoveItaly,

I agree, to each his own, and I know she wasn't asking permission, and I guess that I sometimes do wonder about people who themselves admit they hardly see their kids. (I'm not saying this is the case in this situation) And I think that a vacation is the perfect time to catch up.

As far as couples needing more time together as a couple, I think you are absolutely right. In fact, growing up, my father worked long hours, my mother was a stay at home mom. When we were little, they would go out every now and then by themselves, and an aunt or a babysitter would stay with us. However, my parents said that because my dad worked such long hours, the vacation was "family time" and it was the time for us to spend all this time with my dad.

As we got older, they went out on "dates" every Saturday night and would usually go away for the weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary. But once again, the main vacation was for all of us together.

They were never afraid of how we would behave anywhere, because we knew how to behave in public places.

I will admit that these were different times when parents didn't need "super Nanny" (I'm referring to the TV show, not referring to awbaker) to come and teach parents how to raise children and parents wouldn't have dreamed of thinking themselves as being "overloaded". They made the decision to have children and lived theirs life differently until the children grew up, and then went on to different stages/types of vacation/outings.

Those were probably simpler times, (my parents have been married 55 years), this was before "my" generation decided to raise their children to never take full responsibility for their actions. Exp: I get fat because I eat at McDonalds all the time, let me sue McDonalds, etc...

I think that if you and I and others here on this board, were all in a room, we could have an intelligent discussion trading opinions and point of views, unfortunately on the internet, it is hard to hear the tone that someone means and things can be taken differently than meant, thinking it's an attack, etc..

I asked the question initially, because, I truly was curious why in these crazy times of both parents usually working long hours, you wouldn't want to take the vacation as an opportunity to have a real family vacation (and by that, I don't mean just Disneyland).

Lastly, and this isn't just about this thread either. It always amazes me how people post their opinion or about their lifestyle on a public forum, and are totally bent out of shape when someone doesn't agree with them. I have to say, awbaker didn't do that, and I'm not referring to her, just in general, don't you find it odd?

But this all gets rather philosophical/lifestyle preference and perhaps this isn't the best place to discuss this...though, it is about what one considers a family "vacation".

LoveItaly

Hello lyb, I think that we will perhaps hijack awbaker's thread if we talk back and forth.

But let me say this, I just read your post, and I cannot find fault with anything you state. In fact I do wish we could sit over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine or whatever and discuss what you said in your post. I think we would agree on almost everything.

Regarding awbaker (oh goodness awbaker I am sorry) I think that the fact that she wants to take her children to Italy with her is wonderful.

But they are only two and four years old, so their attention span and their ability to go everywhere and have late dinners (as is the custom in Italy) is not workable.

So IMHO awbaker is trying to the best of her ability to have have her children with them, without disrupting their schedules to the point that they are tired, cranky, whiney - all the feelings that little ones have when they are off schedule. Plus jet lag and a new enviroment.

I have read your post several times, and find myself understanding and agreeing with you.

I have a feeling (without knowing) that awaker does too.

Life today is a lot different then it was when we grew up. Changes have not always been for the best, I know you will agree.

I think for parents raising a family in these currents times it is difficult.

And each family has their own economic situation, their own dreams, their own thinking.

It seems to me that awbaker is sure trying to have a beautiful trip with her husband, and she wants to include her little ones in this adventure, and she also wants some adult time with her husband.

I think we both can relate to that.

I never got the impression that a nanny was being brought along on the vacation because the children "acted up". I got the impression that awbaker was trying to work out a family vacation that included all of the family. But when the little ones ones needed down time she wanted them to be able to have that.
And also felt that awbaker and her husband needed some adult time for museums, dinner in the evening for just the two of them etc.

I have always felt (and I have told my daughter this), the biggest blessing IMHO is when parents work on having a strong marriage. Some special time alone just being a couple. A strong close marriage keeps a couple together. The best gift parents can give their children.

Anyway lby, I think we do agree on most things. I am sorry we cannot sit over a cup of coffee and chat because as you said it is hard to get the real meaning over a message board.

Best wishes to you!

awbaker

Whoa!!

First let me just say that I NEVER was asking for ADVICE on whether to hire a nanny, as LoveItaly (very kindly and diplomatically) pointed out. I was asking for INFORMATION... I realize this is an open forum, but just as political fights are not acceptable here, I also think disagreements regarding people's lifestyles should also be taboo.

Several posters had given me good advice and information regarding babysitters in Italy, and I only wanted to update them on our situation since this is often not done on this board. If I had known that it would become such a fight over whether you should OR should not spend 24/7 of your vacation time with your children, I never would have reposted.

I didn't think that asking if anyone had information on italian babysitters OR the babysitting service, Ciao Bambino, was posting anything about my lifestyle. In fact, I really never mentioned ANYTHING about my life in regards to having a nanny, so you know nothing about the reasons behind it -- you don't know if I work, stay-at-home, whether I am disabled, whether we have a live-in, full-time OR part-time nanny, etc. I am tempted to argue my reasons, but I think enough has been said.

lyb, you and other posters will never agree with our decision and will continue to try to convince me and others that our poor children will suffer because of our presumed inept parenting. But, when my husband and I wake up each morning in Italy refreshed and energized to play with our boys, I will know that I did what was best for us, NOT you or anyone else, but us.

Oh, and LoveItaly, yes... we did take the boys to Disneyworld a couple of months ago! Sans nanny for all the naysayers. Beforehand, we worried that Italy would not live up to the excitement of Disneyworld UNTIL we saw that they had just as much IF NOT MORE fun playing by the hotel and feeding the ducks there. My 4 y.o. talks about Italy almost every day, and has even learned a few phrases!

awbaker

Also, (now I am shamelessly defending myself! ) we took the boys to Colorado for a week in October, and we will take them to the beach for a few days this summer -- all without a babysitter.