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-   -   Anyone else feeling conflicted about focusing on yourself and travel pleasure when the world's in such a mess now? (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/anyone-else-feeling-conflicted-about-focusing-on-yourself-and-travel-pleasure-when-the-worlds-in-such-a-mess-now-299596/)

bookchick Mar 21st, 2003 01:08 PM

Well, I'm a freelance writer and editor. I'm editing and translating a book right now, and if I postponed my trip, I think the author would understand, and he even gave me a more generous timeline for the book, but I'd like to finish it up. My last trip was about 50% vacation (end of last month, beginning of this month), and I knew that war could break out at any moment, but hey, anything can happen any time. Again, I think the entire array of decisions one can make on this issue can be respected. You might not choose to do as I do, or vice-versa, but I think it's a very individual thing.<BR><BR>Yes, how could one possibly add to John's post???<BR><BR>BC

rhtt Mar 21st, 2003 01:20 PM

Possibly the decision to travel, or not,is 99 percent interior anyway. Travel itself, getting from one place to the next, and staying there, is in many locales much safer than in those false security days just two years ago. Perhaps we're seeing simply a bad case of nerves. Our own travel hasn't changed one whit - nor have our spending habits. I encourage people to get out there and enjoy life, and help the economy. This is a travel website - lets act like it.

pakitty Mar 21st, 2003 01:38 PM

No, I don't feel conflicted. Everyone needs a special treat now and then, not to mention something to take our minds off of our problems. Mine happens to be travel.

Biscuit Mar 21st, 2003 01:39 PM

Minimally, but it's really a moot point.<BR><BR>How can you travel when political prisoners are being tortured? How can you eat when children are starving in Africa?<BR><BR>Life goes on. Keeping living it.<BR><BR>Oh, and the airlines need our business now more than ever. Would you like to see thousands of jobs lost because you helped contribute to the bankruptcy of our airlines?

Natalia Mar 21st, 2003 01:52 PM

Maybe what you need, julies, is a little balance to make you feel better. Volunteer with some group that interests you and needs your help and balance that with good times of your own. You will be making others happier and yourself too, that is all one person can do. <BR><BR>

julies Mar 21st, 2003 02:04 PM

Well, I didn't want to be political when I started this post, but here goes anyway.<BR><BR>My greatest concern all along has been that this invasion would be sort of like the assassination of the Archduke that finally triggered all the smoldering animosities that then led to WWI. Is this just a quick dumping of a despotic regime, or will it be the trigger for such massive unrest, conflict, and terrorism that none of us will be traveling? I think this is the basis for my conflicting views and why I personally am perceiving a different situation than has existed in the past. Everyone keeps mentioning the political prisoners, unfair world, post 9/11 references, starving children, Palestine/Israel etc. that we've all ignored while we travel. Yet I have a nagging fear (and I really hope I'm wrong) that this is going to escalate into something more. Plus, I can't help but keep thinking of all the families who are holding their breaths because their loved ones in the military had no choice but to travel to the Iraq area to fight. They would probaly be pretty offended that we are even planning vacations when they are just hoping that they don't get a bad news phone call.

uncle_sam Mar 21st, 2003 02:13 PM

&quot;They would probaly be pretty offended that we are even planning vacations when they are just hoping that they don't get a bad news phone call.&quot;<BR><BR>And exactly why would they be offended?<BR><BR>Do you think they've stopped living their lives?<BR><BR>They work, play, vacation, go to the store and live their lives...why exactly should you not live yours?<BR><BR>US

Natalia Mar 21st, 2003 02:14 PM

So what is it you want to hear? What is it that you want Fodorites to tell you?

wren Mar 21st, 2003 02:15 PM

julies, you should be commended for having a heart for the feelings of so many. You sound quite compassionate and kind. I think what you are trying not to be is a frivolous person. Someone who is only concerned with having a good time. I don't think if you post your trip anyone would think of you as hedonistic. Most likely you worked hard for your vacation. <BR>These servicepeople are doing their jobs; dangerous as it is. This is what they have chosen to do. Thank God there are those who are so brave and sacrificial!! But for the rest of us, life does go on, and I do not think you are hedonistic for posting your trip...in fact, I think everyone needs uplifting and hope that life will go on at times like this.

julies Mar 21st, 2003 02:19 PM

Uncle Sam--<BR><BR>Yes I do think they have stopped living their lives as we are living ours. I have a friend whose son is set to be deployed any minute. While she is working, she is also glued to the tv hoping for any shred of news. I also read a profile in today's paper of a mother whose son is in the midst of things. She can't sleep or eat becasue she is so nervous. If you have ever lived through an extremely stressful tense situatiion, I think that is what many of these families are going through right now.<BR><BR>Natalie--<BR><BR>I really don't know what I want. I guess I just wanted to know if I wal alone in feeling this way.

Natalia Mar 21st, 2003 02:28 PM

No you are not alone, most of us are feeling the way you are. These are distressing times for us now, but other countries have experienced this distress for long times.<BR><BR>There is no answer really, just live your life and, like I wrote before, try to balance it out. I feel for the families of servicemen, I can't imagine how it must feel to have a loved one go off to war, or to experience war in any form first hand.

JenniferW Mar 21st, 2003 02:33 PM

Julies, I completely understand how you feel...I definitely feel guilty about how excited I am getting over leaving for Italy soon. My brother-in-law is over there fighting while I leisurely read this website. But at the same time I realize that we all have to make the most of what situation we are given. I think the best thing to do (and this is just me personally) is to pray for those who are over there risking their lives. <BR>I pray constantly and somehow that helps me. We can't accomplish anything if we don't continue to live our lives but it's also nice to stop and pray for them. I am looking forward to reading your trip report.

Sue_xx_yy Mar 21st, 2003 04:08 PM

I think you are concerned that you pay due homage to the spirit of your values as well as to the letter of them, and this is a fine thing. However, may I point out as gently as I can that you may also be setting superhuman standards of perfection that I at least cannot attain.<BR><BR>Any attempt on my part to make a case against my taking a vacation or a trip will not somehow magically increase my motivation to try and achieve positive change in the world. On the contrary, if I dispose of my rest periods, and try and devote myself exclusively to ' doing positive works' I will end up doing nothing. To completely overhaul one's attitudes toward RandR is to serve the goal of self-criticism, not productive change.<BR>

Lola Mar 21st, 2003 04:16 PM

&quot; the military had no choice but to travel to the Iraq area to fight-&quot;<BR><BR>but, julies, that is why they joined the military. To fight. <BR>Their families knew this might happen when their kids/loved ones joined the Armed Forces.<BR>Would you feel less &quot;conflicted&quot; if you stayed home? <BR>Maybe you should stop going out to dinner or shopping, seeing movies? Why should we have any fun at all while this is going on?<BR>Because , they are fighting and doing this so we can all be free to go to the movies and travel. <BR>If you need to make yourself feel better, take the advice given above, volunteer, do something for someone else and stop thinking so much about how YOU feel.

StCirq Mar 21st, 2003 04:42 PM

Nope, no conflict at all, but I'm not traveling purely for pleasure but rather because I have a vested interest in France as well as in the USA (Sorry, Uncle Sam, but I'm not selling my house in France or re-evaluating my political loyalties - I'm happy to be on both sides of the pond). I admit my heart skipped a beat when I heard the US Embassy in Paris was closing, but upon hearing that there was someplace Americans with lost passports (my only - and remote - possible concern), I'm over that. I'm actually looking forward to being someplace where there is no chance in hell I'll be exposed to the overblown American media for a couple of weeks, where I can talk to real French people who always love to debate politics and see where the discussion goes, and yes, drink some great wine and have a few slabs of the nation's finest foie gras. In times like this, it's nice to have a serene rural haven to retreat to. I don't think it's selfish - I worked plenty hard to have it, and just because it's serene there won't mean I'm not concerned for the fate of the rest of the world. And let's be real - the rest of the world won't miss me. It's not like I'm Donald Rumsfeld disappearing to the Caribbean for the next few weeks. Things will move right along no matter where I am in the universe.

littletraveler Mar 21st, 2003 04:48 PM

I am definitely feeling that way - for sure!!! I keep thinking that I will be enjoying myself while so many are worried and sad and suffering. I even had a friend tell me that she would not &quot;go galavanting around Europe, especially to France,&quot; if she were me. :-(<BR><BR>I am trying hard to reconcile that in my mind. I am glad to seet his post. Thanks.

amyb Mar 21st, 2003 05:38 PM

Look at it this way, our servicemen and women are fighting so that you can continue to live the way you do, enjoying the liberties and freedom to do as you wish. Staying at home and sulking is in direct opposition of their fight. You also do nothing but depress yourself by dwelling on this. Don't forget them, but don't let this change your life to your detriment.

flyaway Mar 21st, 2003 06:10 PM

Well, I wished to go to Paris and London this Spring but now am not welcome there and the airline that's supposed to fly may be out of business by then. <BR><BR>Could I offer you some more war?

winner Mar 21st, 2003 06:34 PM

My father served in WWII, which, I hope, lasted much longer than this conflict will. Life had to go on even with all our worries. Foreign travel was, of course, not an option. But my mother, who also had her only brother in the service, still had to care for three children, her mother and mother-in-law. I was too young to know the &quot;real&quot; meaning of war, but I saw the effect it had on her and my grandmothers (who both had only sons).<BR><BR>We cannot be paralyzed into non-action; if it means travel, either to the local supermarket or to some far-flung destination, so be it. In the Cold War era we were taught to crouch under our school desks if an atomic bomb dropped nearby--or dive into your homemade bomb shelter.<BR><BR>You have a choice: shelter yourself in a psychological bomb shelter and make no decisions whatever, or be grateful that you have family and friends with whom you can share your life and laughter as well as your concerns.<BR><BR>Conflicts throughout the world have existed for thousands of years. We (I, at least) must live our own lives with sympathy for those suffering but with knowledge that our lives, too, have meaning. (and prayer is NEVER politically incorrect!)

cigalechanta Mar 21st, 2003 06:49 PM

Like John, who could never be too thin or gorgeous, and like St. Cirq, of course, go. We need to show our friends in France that we don't feel the same way as our goverment. I refuse to not visit friends I love because my goverment is at odds with theirs.<BR>And yes, It is sad that we have this war losing people to a cause I bet even they don't understand. But why make the world worse with all these boycotts. Most people are trapped by their goverments in any country, and have no choice. why punish them.


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