advice from other dog owners...
May 3rd, 2006, 02:41 AM
#41
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I hated reading this. I know what you're going through. The house seems so empty after they're gone, doesn't it? He's no longer hurting though & that's a good thing along with the fact that you provided a great life for him. I wish you strength & happy memories.
May 3rd, 2006, 05:48 AM
#42
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thanks for the kind words and support.
day 2 - I swam laps for about an hour last night to make sure i would sleep though the night and woke up feeling somewhat together but walking into the kitchen to make coffee and seeing his dog bowls and toys just brought me to my knees. And then there's the questions - could I have done something more to prevent him from dying then, did I do something to precipitate his death - questions that have no answers. He was 12 1/2 years old and on borrowed time - I knew moving to my new neighborhood/apartment that he would be dying here - and i'm grateful he got to live in our new home for a few months. And I suppose I should be grateful that he died here also. Strange that birth and death use to be such a common part of home and now...A fellow dog owner who lived in the West Village said one of the hardest parts was telling all his neighbors who he'd meet on the street/grocey store/etc that his dog has died. I went by our old neighborhood yesterday afternoon to let various people know - the emotions would just choke me everytime....On a postive note - I'm taking his dog beds to a pet shelter, gave a fellow dog owner the unopened 20lb bags of organic dog food and am looking at which plant/tree to order for our co-op garden ( I plan to mix his ashes in the soil when I plant it.) Also - a travel agency I use to arrange my Croatian trips called yesterday with some prices quotes which i have to call for today - I'm not ready to go away yet - I need to wrap myself around my new life - but by the end of the summer I'll be ready - I 'm can actually plan for a 2 week trip - I haven't taken one of those in I don't know how many years...thanks for letting me ramble and sorry if I've upset you, it's not my intention.
day 2 - I swam laps for about an hour last night to make sure i would sleep though the night and woke up feeling somewhat together but walking into the kitchen to make coffee and seeing his dog bowls and toys just brought me to my knees. And then there's the questions - could I have done something more to prevent him from dying then, did I do something to precipitate his death - questions that have no answers. He was 12 1/2 years old and on borrowed time - I knew moving to my new neighborhood/apartment that he would be dying here - and i'm grateful he got to live in our new home for a few months. And I suppose I should be grateful that he died here also. Strange that birth and death use to be such a common part of home and now...A fellow dog owner who lived in the West Village said one of the hardest parts was telling all his neighbors who he'd meet on the street/grocey store/etc that his dog has died. I went by our old neighborhood yesterday afternoon to let various people know - the emotions would just choke me everytime....On a postive note - I'm taking his dog beds to a pet shelter, gave a fellow dog owner the unopened 20lb bags of organic dog food and am looking at which plant/tree to order for our co-op garden ( I plan to mix his ashes in the soil when I plant it.) Also - a travel agency I use to arrange my Croatian trips called yesterday with some prices quotes which i have to call for today - I'm not ready to go away yet - I need to wrap myself around my new life - but by the end of the summer I'll be ready - I 'm can actually plan for a 2 week trip - I haven't taken one of those in I don't know how many years...thanks for letting me ramble and sorry if I've upset you, it's not my intention.
May 3rd, 2006, 06:09 AM
#43
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Sirius,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. If Sirius passed on in his sleep at your home, I consider that a blessing. About 4 years ago, I had to put down my 14 year old papillon Mona and the night before our appointment was really heartwrenching. Give yourself time to mourn and get used to your new life, as you said, but also try to spend time with understanding friends and find some kind of diversion or work that will keep you from wallowing in grief (that's not too helpful). Working on planning a trip in a few months will give you that diversion without the abruptness of leaving immediately after Sirius. I second what people have said about choosing a place you know because that will be less stressful and it can be comforting. A couple of weeks after Mona died, I had to go to a conference but instead of being a mess, I was actually buoyed up by it. Sure, it was work, but there were plenty of planned leisure activities, stimulating papers and presentations. old and new friends, and that helped me heal. That's why I'd even suggest a cruise for you because of the minimal amount of stressful decisionmaking and the generally pampering atmosphere. Once again, my sympathies to you and thoughts of healing and hope your way.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. If Sirius passed on in his sleep at your home, I consider that a blessing. About 4 years ago, I had to put down my 14 year old papillon Mona and the night before our appointment was really heartwrenching. Give yourself time to mourn and get used to your new life, as you said, but also try to spend time with understanding friends and find some kind of diversion or work that will keep you from wallowing in grief (that's not too helpful). Working on planning a trip in a few months will give you that diversion without the abruptness of leaving immediately after Sirius. I second what people have said about choosing a place you know because that will be less stressful and it can be comforting. A couple of weeks after Mona died, I had to go to a conference but instead of being a mess, I was actually buoyed up by it. Sure, it was work, but there were plenty of planned leisure activities, stimulating papers and presentations. old and new friends, and that helped me heal. That's why I'd even suggest a cruise for you because of the minimal amount of stressful decisionmaking and the generally pampering atmosphere. Once again, my sympathies to you and thoughts of healing and hope your way.
May 3rd, 2006, 09:05 AM
#46
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God bless you and keep you during this time of grieving. It is a grief that some don't understand.. if they have not loved a pet as a member of the family for so many years. But it is truly grief. My heart goes out to you.
May 3rd, 2006, 09:57 AM
#47
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My heart goes out to you Sirius. I lost my coyote/shepherd mix a while back - Riley (Rile E. Coyote). I had her for just 8 years before she died suddenly in her sleep.
I had found her as a stray. No attempt to find her owner was successful, so I took her to a vet to have her checked out. He said that she was about 1 year old and was in good health. He said that if she had been picked up by animal control instead of being adopted by me, that she would have been immediately put down, due to her breed. I knew we were meant to be together. She was my girl. I can still see her 'smile'.
God bless you and I hope you feel better soon. I have to go blow my nose now.
I had found her as a stray. No attempt to find her owner was successful, so I took her to a vet to have her checked out. He said that she was about 1 year old and was in good health. He said that if she had been picked up by animal control instead of being adopted by me, that she would have been immediately put down, due to her breed. I knew we were meant to be together. She was my girl. I can still see her 'smile'.
God bless you and I hope you feel better soon. I have to go blow my nose now.
May 3rd, 2006, 12:46 PM
#48
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Hi friendofsirus, just wanted to add my support...
Whether making travelling plans while they are healthy or after they pass, it is all difficult for me.
I thought I was going to loose my mind when we travelled to France about 5 yrs. ago, I never thought that leaving my Jacob (even though he was with family) would be so traumatic, I was in tears when we arrived in Paris, thinking I was so far away from him and was he ok. I am a mature, levelled headed person (so I thought...) until I turned into this blubbering mess, after a couple of days I was fine, but my goodness, I did not realize how attached I was to the little guy.
We have since lost our Jacob, a 9 yr. old black lab that we adopted when he was 4 yrs. old. He died of cancer 4 years ago and I still miss him very much. It took 3 1/2 years for us to be able to adopt another dog, a 1 yr. old chocolate lab we named Jeb, I call him baby J. So you see, there are so many of us dog lovers out there who share your troubled heart. How ever you decide to deal with your travel plans will be the right decision for you.
I personally, from experience, think that the distraction of a trip helped me, but everyone is different. I hope you find support with your friends and family when his time comes.
Sincerely,
Michele
Whether making travelling plans while they are healthy or after they pass, it is all difficult for me.
I thought I was going to loose my mind when we travelled to France about 5 yrs. ago, I never thought that leaving my Jacob (even though he was with family) would be so traumatic, I was in tears when we arrived in Paris, thinking I was so far away from him and was he ok. I am a mature, levelled headed person (so I thought...) until I turned into this blubbering mess, after a couple of days I was fine, but my goodness, I did not realize how attached I was to the little guy.
We have since lost our Jacob, a 9 yr. old black lab that we adopted when he was 4 yrs. old. He died of cancer 4 years ago and I still miss him very much. It took 3 1/2 years for us to be able to adopt another dog, a 1 yr. old chocolate lab we named Jeb, I call him baby J. So you see, there are so many of us dog lovers out there who share your troubled heart. How ever you decide to deal with your travel plans will be the right decision for you.
I personally, from experience, think that the distraction of a trip helped me, but everyone is different. I hope you find support with your friends and family when his time comes.
Sincerely,
Michele
May 3rd, 2006, 03:44 PM
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Friendofsirus - I am so sorry to hear of your dog's passing.
I'm sorry that you had to change your alias because of the insensitivity of some people on this forum. Just know that there are many animals lovers here who feel and think as you do when it comes to their pets.
Take care.
I'm sorry that you had to change your alias because of the insensitivity of some people on this forum. Just know that there are many animals lovers here who feel and think as you do when it comes to their pets.
Take care.
May 3rd, 2006, 06:54 PM
#51
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friendofsirus, please accept my heartfelt symmpathy for the loss of your "baby".
There seem to be many dog lovers on this forum. Throughout the years, especially my later years (after the kids flew the nest) my dogs have been the joy of my life. At one point I had six dogs (all big!), crazy I guess, but the most satisfying period of my life.
Those dogs bring back the most wonderful memories. Now I have 2 and hate to think of the day they will be gone. But even worse is wondering what would happen to them if I leave them first. My daughters have their own jobs, children, dogs and husbands who aren't crazy about dogs - so! But I digress - the important thing is that you have loved a dog and had him love you back -people who haven't had that really don't know what they've missed.
Eventually you'll have another dog to love just as much.
There seem to be many dog lovers on this forum. Throughout the years, especially my later years (after the kids flew the nest) my dogs have been the joy of my life. At one point I had six dogs (all big!), crazy I guess, but the most satisfying period of my life.
Those dogs bring back the most wonderful memories. Now I have 2 and hate to think of the day they will be gone. But even worse is wondering what would happen to them if I leave them first. My daughters have their own jobs, children, dogs and husbands who aren't crazy about dogs - so! But I digress - the important thing is that you have loved a dog and had him love you back -people who haven't had that really don't know what they've missed.
Eventually you'll have another dog to love just as much.
May 3rd, 2006, 08:53 PM
#53
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Friendofsirus, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. Take care of yourself.
I too liked the vial idea, you could hold onto it when you are feeling really down.
Warm regards, Schnauzer
I too liked the vial idea, you could hold onto it when you are feeling really down.
Warm regards, Schnauzer
May 4th, 2006, 12:07 AM
#54
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I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel alone about caring for your pets. I only came across this post this morning. I have a 13 year old lab literally on his last legs. Long story really so won't go into details but he is living day to day on borrowed time and some days he is so poorly I just wish he would pass away quickly and peacefully yet I don't really want him too. Few understand the bond - only those who know the genuine love a pet can give. I won't give advice but send my thoughts and prayers to you at this sad time. Take care.
May 6th, 2006, 08:33 AM
#55
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dublincallin - it's such a delicate time, I understand - it's hard to know how to proceed. I will say that with my boxer, Lucy - there came a moment when I knew it was time, something I sensed - i can't really explain but I think you'll know if that moment presents itself.
day 5 - I'm getting use to the quiet and stillness in the apartment. It's funny - thursday I was dropping off some frelance work at NYU after work - walking through Washington Square Park with allthe activity going on and realizing I hadn't been in the mileu for such along time - it was both poigant and exciting. I think rthe hardest thing right now is tellign neighbors and friends - if I don't have to say it my emotions are calm but tell someone and they implode or erupt. On a positive note - I jusyt bought my ticket to Croatia for 2 weeks in September (just how many Fodorites are going to be there that month?). It will be poignant because I won't have someone to come home to, and isn't that half of traveling, coming home? Well, enough babbeling. Once agin thanks for all your support and kinf words - it has been truely helphul - thank you.
day 5 - I'm getting use to the quiet and stillness in the apartment. It's funny - thursday I was dropping off some frelance work at NYU after work - walking through Washington Square Park with allthe activity going on and realizing I hadn't been in the mileu for such along time - it was both poigant and exciting. I think rthe hardest thing right now is tellign neighbors and friends - if I don't have to say it my emotions are calm but tell someone and they implode or erupt. On a positive note - I jusyt bought my ticket to Croatia for 2 weeks in September (just how many Fodorites are going to be there that month?). It will be poignant because I won't have someone to come home to, and isn't that half of traveling, coming home? Well, enough babbeling. Once agin thanks for all your support and kinf words - it has been truely helphul - thank you.
