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OxGal Nov 6th, 2006 01:06 PM

Honeymoon cruise?? I'm Nervous!
This is long, I apologise in advance.
My husband-to-be loves to cruise and has been on many cruises with his parents while growing up.
I have never been on, nor ever wanted to go on, a cruise. In fact, the very thought of a cruise makes my stomach churn slightly. I was born in the States, but I have lived all over the world, and went to University in England - which is my absolute favorite place. I am not a snobby person, just shy, not really a "people" person, and my friends and family refer to me as a book-worm.
Here's my problem: my future husband's parents are giving us a honeymoon, which will probably be a cruise. I am scared for my first cruise experience to be my honeymoon. Although I do not really want to cruise at all, I would not refuse them a chance to spend time with us, however they choose. But, thankfully, they will not be on this trip, and I cannot think of one reason I want to go on this cruise. Is it wrong of me to complain about a cruise? And if it turns out that I cannot get out of this cruise, can anyone allay my fears about cruising? I am terrified of large, group excursions, having to eat dinner and being trapped on a boat with a bunch of annoying, old people, being seasick, and having no privacy. We are a young couple (I'll be 24 when we get married) and generally very active. Can I survive a cruise, and what are some tips from veteran cruisers?

diann Nov 6th, 2006 01:17 PM

Well first of all I think you might as well learn to communicate openly and honestly with your fiance. Tell him your concerns. If this is something you totally are not open to trying then you should not, nor should you be afraid to speak up and say so. On the other hand you could try and like it quite well. It all depends on the line and I have found that there is usually a mix of people although certain lines might cater to a certain age group. I think that if his parents are willing to pay for the honeymoon it should be you and your husbands choice. I think you are thinking a quiet romantic island. It is after all your honeymoon, and both of you should decide where it should be. His parents might mean well, but honestly they ought not to assume that a cruise is what you both want just because they may be funding a honeymoon. They should ask first. That is my opinion. Tell them you would prefer a more quiet romantic atmosphere then a cruise. Then try the cruise perhaps at another time. Best of luck.

OxGal Nov 6th, 2006 01:34 PM

Thanks. I have talked to my fiance, and he has expressed that he understands my feelings. I guess I was really just wondering if a cruise is as bad as I am imagining, or if I am overreacting.

jacketwatch Nov 6th, 2006 02:14 PM

Well for starters its up to you to express your feelings or side of this issue. Maybe his parents are so fond of cruising they can't imagine how anyone else could not enjoy the sea. In any case the HM should be something you both can agree on and should be planned together and not done by a 3rd party.
If such circumstances as crowds, a lack of privacy and so on cause anxiety then cruising, even on a small vessel, would not be for you. I am not sure what you mean by "annoying old people" but bear in mind some day you will be old too. We cruised Alaska last yr. and this type of cruise attracts an older clientele so we got to meet many older people and I have to say I found their perspectives on life pretty neat really, i.e. if you take the time to listen to them. However this is not the HM experience you want it seems.
Best of luck and congratulations. :-)

LLindaC Nov 6th, 2006 03:30 PM

My husband and I have been married 5 years and we have 12 cruises under our belts. That said, I'm glad we didn't cruise for our honeymoon! We went to the ultra beautiful British Virgin islands and partied when we wanted, and spent totally alone time together too in a luxurious suite with no distractions! I don't know when you're getting married, but I can think of a ton of great honeymoon ideas. Here's how I would approach the inlaws....tell them that for your anniversary, or THEIR would love to join them in a family cruise, but for your honeymoon you've got your heart set on "-------" Tell your MIL that you trust her to book your first cruise with them and you can't wait! How's that for diplomacy??

abram Nov 6th, 2006 08:01 PM

Of course I think that you and your husband should have the honeymoon that appeals to the two of you, regardless of what anyone else likes or thinks.

That being said, when I'm on a cruise, it always strikes me that there are lots of different trips gpoing on. You can get a balcony cabin or a suite, and spend more time there, enjoying the view and having lots of privacy.

You can select a table for 2 at meals and not have to eat with anyone else.

The ships we've been on always have small pretty spaces to sit alone together.

We never take the ship's shore excursions anymore, and you can tour just about any port on your own or by hiring your own cab to take you where you want to go.

A cruise is what you make it.

kfusto Nov 7th, 2006 03:27 AM

If you truly feel that cruising will be such an awful experience, then definitely do not go. However, you make a gross generalization with some of your statements. Having never cruised, I find your assumptions somewhat amusing.

If you cannnot graciously and enthusiastically accept their generosity and enjoy the cruise, it makes sense to me that you would select a honeymoon that appeals to you and simply pay for it yourself, explaining your decision to your in laws.

I loved cruising in my teens, my 20s, 30s, and 40s, all for different reasons. Different lines and ships offer much different experience.

I also do not like excusrions, forced dining assignments, and having no privacy. Fortunately, there are many ships that offer the opposite experience to what you dread.

Look at the Paul Ganguin to Tahiti or any other of Regent's offerings. All suites, most with balconies, dinner at what time and with whomever you please, no forced gaiety onboard and interesting itineraries. While this is an upscale line and your age group will not be well represented, it will offer the experience you say you prefer.

If you go with the big ships on the mass market lines they will be just as you fear.

CruiseNewbie_com Nov 12th, 2006 10:20 AM

I'll agree with others and say "follow your instincts." If you're not interested in a cruise, then you shouldn't go. Your honeymoon should be a special experience, not something you feel forced into doing.

I just turned 40 and until recently would have never considered going on a cruise. Over the past year, my wife and I started thinking a cruise might be a nice vacation. I have to admit that I was concerned about many of the same things you are: namely being sea-sick and and trapped on a boat with a 3000 geriatric strangers. We eventually booked a cruise on the Crown Princess and took our first cruise last month... and It was great! Never got sea-sick or felt I was crowded or trapped with other people.

I've posted 250+ photos of the Crown Princess on my website:

Lots of pictures of our room and balcony, as well as the restaurants, shops, decks, pools, bars, etc. They should give you a good idea of what to expect on a large, modern cruise ship.

Good luck with everything and congratulations on the wedding.

papagena Dec 12th, 2006 03:55 PM

I'm about your age OxGal and although I've enjoyed going on cruises with my parents, I would never choose one as a honeymoon. You can survive it, but as you're not keen it's best to speak up about it now rather than have your disappointment about the honeymoon colour the whole wedding process. (You could always claim seasickness as an excuse, then you're not criticising your mother-in-law's vacation choices, but rather being unfortunately prevented from taking part in her wonderful scheme by a sadly inconvenient medical condition).

FainaAgain Dec 13th, 2006 08:56 AM

"I am terrified of large, group excursions, having to eat dinner and being trapped on a boat with a bunch of annoying, old people, being seasick, and having no privacy."

Excursions are not included in the cruise. It's your choice to join a tour by paying for it, or going off on your own.

There may be other honeymooners, you can share a table with them, or you can order room service - included in the cruise price.

Seasick - there are all kinds of medications: herbal - ginger, chemical - bonine, dramamine, patches and bracelets.

No privacy? You'll have your own room, won't you?

petlover Dec 14th, 2006 05:12 AM

I too think you may want to avoid a cruise on your honemymoon and would use being prone to seasickness as an excuse to get out of it without hurting any feelings. Maybe a nice adult only land resort (something like one of the Couples property) would be best suited for your honeymoon.

Let us know what you decide.

eileyann Jan 3rd, 2007 06:16 AM

Personally I would not lie about seasickness because later you might decide to cruise and then what? It is better to be honest and open and loving about your reasons not to cruise. BUT consider that in the midst of all those people you can be very alone - everyone is more concerned about their own fun than about you and it could be a great way to be together. Also the food is usually great and the opportunities for dancing and being romantic with each other - midnight strolls on the promanade, sharing ice cream cones on the deck, holding hands while reading in the library, sitting close during the shows - are everywhere. But only you can decide if it seems right to you. Trust your in-laws to understand if it is just not right. -Eileen

kfusto Jan 3rd, 2007 08:00 AM

My recent honeymoon cruise was a HUGE disappointment. Too many kids running around everywhere, many infants in strollers, people dressed in sweats and unironed shorts in the dining room, blaring music by the pool and flea market tee shirt sales.

And this was at a time when the kids were in school.

Arizona07 Jan 3rd, 2007 10:20 AM

Did OxGal bow out of this? Wonder what she decided.

We met a honeymoon couple on our cruise to Mexico a couple of weeks ago. They liked it very much, but they were obvious "joiners", all over the place, very competitive in fun games like Trivia, Newlywed game, etc.

I've been married a long time, but don't think I'd choose a cruise for a honeymoon; I'd rather have a more anonymous setting.

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