I'll only be going to the Caribbean once...help.
 

I'm planning on a November 2022 trip.
I will be 58 by then but a young 58.
I will be traveling alone by choice.
I want to stay at a resort with as few children as possible.
Amenities must include a smoke free environment, a hot tub in my room, a balcony, a spa,
an infinity pool where I can see the beach and a hammock. My main reason for going is relaxation but I want to plan one activity every day. I like to snorkel, I like to go on a catamaran for an excursion day trip, I don't mind dining by myself, pampering, love animals and enjoy the arts (local music, symphony, theatre.) I am not a shopper or a hiker. I only want to see the main touristy places. I would love an island tour with a guide as I have no sense of direction. I'll be flying out of CT or NY. I would love to keep my budget around $3500.Is that reasonable? Is it necessary to rent a car? I really need guidance. I don't want to screw up this once in a lifetime event. I'm looking for a clean beach with aqua blue water. Please recommend which island I should go to? Thank you for any input.

You mention $3500 for the budget, but how many days is the trip?

And what does that need to cover - airfare roundtrip, lodging, local transportation &/or car rental, food, excursions, spa, pocket money...

I never recommend this but your wish list is so specific and your question so general I'd consider contacting a Travel Agent who is expert in the Caribbean.

I agree with Suze. Your criteria is quite specific.
November is considered to still be hurricane season in the caribbean. Aruba and Curacao are said to be outside of the hurricane belt.

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We need to know how many days and what it need to cover to even begin to help. $3500 if that is the fancy resort you describe and you're only going for 5 days. That works.

If $3500 needs to cover your plane ticket round trip from NYC, the fancy resort, renting a car, doing expensive daily activities, and you want to stay for 10 days. That doesn't work.

If you want to do things like "symphony" and "theater" that would mean staying in or near a city. While things like a hammock can be found lots of places. A hot tub in your room does not come cheap.

Please do tell us how many days and what the budget needs to cover, and people might be able to give more guidance. Even if you go with a travel agent, you are going to have to tell them these things. And prioritize your wish list because it is doubtful you will find that all in one place.