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-   -   Bride to be fears travel to St. John for honeymoon. Please help! (https://www.fodors.com/community/caribbean-islands/bride-to-be-fears-travel-to-st-john-for-honeymoon-please-help-848590/)

nowwa421 Jul 8th, 2010 08:20 AM

Bride to be fears travel to St. John for honeymoon. Please help!
 
Planning honeymoon getaway next May to St. John. I assumed most women would find this romantic, but instead of excitement I received apprehensiveness. Her concerns include, crime, racial tensions, travel from island to island,staying in a private villa,etc. I think these concerns are well founded, but I believe statistics would show otherwise. I need solid facts and travelers testimonials to help save this potentially wonderful honeymoon.

RoamsAround Jul 8th, 2010 09:00 AM

In my opinion your fiance's fears are not rational, however, I'm not sure anything anyone on a travel forum can say will chnge her mind if those fears are well ingrained in her mind. St. John is a very safe island, perhaps the safest of any of the USVI's and it is far safer than many other destinations around the world. Perhaps if you told us where she would feel safe going it would make it easier for us to give you meaniful comparisons.

In this day and age no destination is "crime free" but if you use common sense while travelling you should be just fine. You don't say where your fiance is from but I'd be willing to bet St. John has less crime then where she now lives. I doubt you'd encounter much "racial tension" on St. John as the population consists of many different races all living in harmony. Add to that the fact that the island relies on tourism for its livelihood and you'll understand why tourists are well liked.

Getting from "island to island" is relatively easy. You should be able to fly directly into St. Thomas and then go by ferry to St. John. Hundreds of people make the trip to and from St. John every day without incident. Staying in a private villa is no more or less dangerous than staying where you now live, again you just need to take the same precautions you do now.

Some people become uncomfortable in strange surrounding and perhaps that is what is bothering her. You have to find out what is making her feel the way she does and then try to resolve those issues. If she merely perceives there is "danger in the unknown" she may not feel safe anywhere.

virginia Jul 8th, 2010 09:03 AM

on the one hand i absolutely do not consider her concerns in any way reasonable or well founded.
st john has extremely low crime. NO racial tension what so ever. travel between st.thomas and st. john is quick, easy and a beautiful ride by ferry. the island is beautiful & a delight in every way with wonderful beaches and excellent snorkeling. not sure i'd want to honeymoon in an unstaffed villa - no bride should be making beds and doing dishes on the honeymoon :) if you can afford it caneel bay resort is one of the best in the islands imho.

that said i'd pick somewhere else. there is no reason to "talk her into" a honeymoon location when there are so many wonderful islands & other destinations to choose from. this trip is supposed to be about romance, as you said. it should be somewhere that's excites you both. have you asked her if another island would appeal to her more? why did you choose st. john?

KVR Jul 8th, 2010 10:29 AM

Can you tell us what kind/type of honeymoon she is wanting? Maybe what you want or thinks she wants is really not want she had in mind.

Some people can agruably say that there are other Islands considered more safe. (what ever that means to them) We didn't find St. John unsafe, but thought there were other Islands safer than St. Thomas, but that's our personal opinion based on the past 10 years of travel to the Caribbean/Mexico.

It's apparant that she doesn't want to go there and I agree with Virginia I wouldn't want to stay in an unstaffed Villa, as I rathered be pampered in a nice hotel.

If you can tell us what you both can agree on maybe we can give you some recommendations.

swilshire Jul 9th, 2010 12:23 PM

KVR,

In your opinion, what are the safest islands?

Thanks,

Sheila

virginia Jul 9th, 2010 01:46 PM

the safest are generally speaking where the economy is best. for example: grand cayman, provo in turks & caicos, st barts.
however i don't consider any island unsafe possibly excepting haiti/dom republic.
actually i think the caribbean has less crime than most world locations.

RoamsAround Jul 9th, 2010 01:56 PM

See my response to the other thread (Best Honeymoon Location) you started.

ishkribbl Jul 9th, 2010 05:22 PM

I would ask:

1. where is "home"?
2. how old is the bride?
3. has she had much experience traveling - when and where?

It has been quite a few years- 2001- and I am not a young person but I got married (second time) on SJ and have a hard time thinking of many places that are as beautiful, peaceful, and idyllic a spot for a honeymoon. Maybe it it that I am older but I thought a villa was wonderful- more space, more privacy, a gorgeous view, private pool, etc.- just because you have a house does not mean you have to cook or clean.
Maybe some more information about your bride-to-be would help us figure out the basis of her fears or reassure the both of you that you made a great choice.
Hope it all works out!

KVR Jul 10th, 2010 07:16 AM

I agree with Virginia and will add Aruba.

DebitNM Jul 10th, 2010 01:57 PM

While I echo the sentiments of the replies above about not forcing her to go somewhere that upsets her. It doesn't matter if her fears are unfounded, for whatever reason - she has the fears.

If it at all helps, we have dear friends that own a cottage that they rent out in Coral Bay on St John; they are actually residents too, living there most of the year. We have been there twice and have loved the natural beauty of St John, the wonderous beaches, the laid back atmosphere and the good restaurants. We have never felt unsafe traveling all over the island and truly, your fiancees worries are practically non-existent

<b>Palm Cottage</b> is a beautiful, new cottage with a spectacular view of the harbor. It is self-contained, stand alone and has everything you would want from outdoor shower, to a bbq grill, beach chairs, coolers, and on and on.

We have stayed there twice; we were there for 8 days first time and 12 days second time.

http://www.vrbo.com/162906

I read through the guest book and all of the comments have been so positive on all aspects of their stay.

For the record - I have no financial interest in the property, and Barry & Diane are gracious hosts and great people.

Here are some pictures.

http://picasaweb.google.com/DebitNM/PalmCottage

Good luck!

bdshotsauce Jul 11th, 2010 08:01 AM

Oh dear, fears can get the better of a potentially wonderful situation. Is this fear directed towards St. John only or are there other islands. What may help is figuring out what the fear is stemming from.

writealiving Jul 11th, 2010 08:04 AM

Whether or not her fears are unfounded, she has them and I would say go someplace else out of consideration for her. Its a honeymoon and you want to enjoy it not be anxious because she's waiting for the bogeyman to appear. She may feel safer in a resort that has security or one of the islands that has a "safe" reputation like Aruba or the Bahamas. I just went to Jamaica alone. I'm a woman. I felt completey safe the entire time but was warned by so many people how dangerous it was there and how foolish I was for going alone. There are people who will always feel that way no matter what and people who won't. Plan something that you both can enjoy without worries and forget trying to prove anything to her.

virginislandtraveler Jul 11th, 2010 01:46 PM

Virgin Islands former resident here...St John is probably the safest island in the caribbean..I practiced law there in 2007/2008..Traveled there for years..St Thomas can be dangerous in certain spots at night..but not St John..Very layed back..Two-thirds of island is a National park..rent a jeep and travel the north shore..take a day trip to the "Baths" Virgin Gorda..It will be the most romantic trip of your life..For more info on Virgin Islands from a local CK out
http://www.travelaskthelocals.yolasite.com

dlundgren Jul 12th, 2010 11:44 AM

Have her spend some time at

http://www.virgin-islands-on-line.co...wforum.php?f=1

That should turn her right around.

foodiechan Jul 12th, 2010 07:10 PM

Bear in mind the St. John is still US Territory, may be a point that you want to bring up with your fiancee, especially if she needs a refresher in geography.

I fear that if going to a U.S. territory would make her unsafe, then you might have a hard time convincing her to go anywhere in the Caribbean, because most of them are not U.S. territories, which, in some sense would be more foreign. Currency, how your drive, and in some cases the language. It is worth your time to explore what is making her so nervous?

That said, my wife and I had a great time on St. John. Totally chill and hardly any crime to talk about. Great people too. Generally speaking the people in the Caribbean are so "chill" that I hardly ever felt unsafe. Being a New Yorker myself, I would say it is leaps and bounds safer than say, Harlem (which nowadays is no longer a hot spot for crime). We rented an apartment, which suits our needs, but if you can afford Caneel Bay, even better. I agree that if comfort and service is important, renting a hotel may be the way to go, especially if you do not plan on doing any cooking.

If going to some place tropical is still your choice, may be you should take her to Hawaii instead?

Don't give up on St. John yet. You will not regret your choice if you choose to go!

So nice!

Cheers and congrats.

tejana Jul 13th, 2010 07:37 AM

From her initial reaction, it sounds like the islands are NOT her idea of a perfect honeymoon. You have plenty of time to consider a completely different alternative - Italy or another spot in Europe maybe? If you still want islands, would she be more comfortable in Hawaii?

starrs Jul 13th, 2010 12:47 PM

I've enjoyed wonderful trips to the US Virgin Islands. That's great for me.

"I need solid facts and travelers testimonials to help save this potentially wonderful honeymoon. "

No. You need to find a location that will be a "wonderful honeymoon" for your bride as well as you. :-)

otto Jul 14th, 2010 02:57 AM

frankly it sounds a bit ungrateful if you ask me, i was happy to go whereever on my honeymoon. i don't think fears of crime or racial tension are consistent with anything i've read or heard about in st. john.

txgirlinbda Jul 14th, 2010 05:53 AM

Well said, starrs.

dtstahl Jul 14th, 2010 09:27 AM

I'm going to stick my neck out here and speculate that the only island honeymoon that will light her up would be Hawaii. All others (even the USVIs) are simply too foreign and unknown to her.

Whatever you do, don't force it. The stress before, during and after woun't be worth it. You'll pay for it forever.

Let HER pick the honeymoon locale and then you can pick out that perfect Inn, etc.


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